Worth It

“I can sleep on the couch,” I offered, not planning to kick anyone out of his bed, especially a little boy.



“Oh, no. It’s fine.” She waved my offer aside. “Those two prefer to sleep together anyway. One usually gets up in the middle of the night to find his or her way into the other’s bedroom. I’m not sure why we bother to even try to separate them.”



As she spoke, the girl in her arms wiggled free to get down.



Eva let the child slide to the floor. “So, we’ll just set you up in Julian’s room, like I said,” she went on as if she didn’t even notice her child was tottering straight for me. “Because it’ll be easier for me not to have to dress up the couch every night.”



The kid stopped in front of me and lifted her arms, clearly wanting me to hold her.



I darted my gaze to her mother, but Eva just smiled at me and lifted her eyebrows as if to say, Well, what’re you waiting for?



I hadn’t held a baby since the morning of the day I was arrested, when my sister Mercy had needed me to rock Bentley to sleep for her nap.



A needle of agony burrowed into my chest.



Bentley probably hadn’t even made it to this age.



I knelt in front of Skylar, trying not to let my grief get the best of me, but then she smiled, and I wanted to bawl even more.



“Maw-maw-da-da-gah-gah-bah,” she said, waving her hands with each word.



I glanced at Eva to see if I was supposed to understand something in all that mess, but she only shook her head and shrugged.



“Skylar’s our little jabber box. Julian’s usually the one who doesn’t say anything unless he has something serious and understandable to say.”



Skylar stepped closer to me, and whacked me in the eye. “Maw-maw-da-da-gah-gah-baw.”



Eva gasped and stepped forward. “Skylar! No hitting.”



“No, it’s okay,” I assured her, holding up a hand to let her know I wasn’t hurt...right before Skylar grabbed me by both ears and stared me straight in the eyes. “Maw-maw-dadddddaaaa,” she hollered.



I had no idea what she was trying to tell me, so I picked her up. Her diaper-clad tush mashed against my forearm, sending up a sharp reminder of the times I’d held Bentley, and how Mercedes had screeched at me that she was too young to be held upright that way, except I’d always held the kid’s head securely and she’d seemed to enjoy being able to gaze around a room, so I’d kept doing it.



“Gah-gah-baw,” Skylar murmured as if appeased before she rested her head on my shoulder and went limp and satisfied against me.



“Well...” Eva lifted her eyebrows as if impressed by my skill. “I guess she got what she wanted.”



I tried to relax, but the tension made that impossible. I should not be holding such innocence, standing in such a nice, family-oriented home, sleeping in some cute little boy’s bed. I didn’t belong here, and I kept waiting for the moment when someone finally fucking realized that.



To make matters worse, my stomach growled. I’d been released midmorning, and it was long past time when our noon meal would’ve been served.



Eva sent me a sly smile. “Can I fix you some food?”



I shook my head, not wanting to be beholden. “No, thank you, ma’am. I’m fine.”



Except my stomach growled again, belying my words.



“You sure about that?” Eva lifted her eyebrows. “If you’re going to be here for days, I’m afraid you’ll have to eat eventually. And I’m really not that bad of a cook.”



I clenched the back of my teeth before giving a brief nod. “All right, then. Thank you.”



She nodded as if pleased with my answer. “Oh, and if you don’t mind holding her while she sleeps, you can sit in the rocking chair with her.” She stepped toward me and held up her arms. “Or I’ll take her and put her in her room.”



I didn’t mean to set a possessive hand on the back of the kid’s head, but that’s exactly where my palm landed when Eva moved in. I hadn’t realized Skylar had fallen asleep on me; it made me even more attached to her. She reminded me so much of Bentley. I’d had no idea all kids smelled so much alike.



The powdery baby scent filled my nostrils with nostalgia and soothed something inside me.



“I don’t mind rocking her.”



Pick re-entered the living room just as I was easing down into the chair, trying to be careful not to wake his daughter.



He jerked to a stop and lifted his eyebrows. Then he grinned wide. “I see Miss Never-Met-a-Stranger-She-Didn’t-Like has discovered you.”