18.

Caitlin

 

“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to stay.” I tell Hero out of the blue after walking back out from Jade’s room, down for her nap. We’d ended that line of conversation earlier before fresh fruit and playing outside. But that doesn’t mean I’d stopped thinking about it. Quite the contrary. Leaving here, getting away from Houdini seems all I can focus on.

When he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me, I continue. If for nothing else than to defend myself. “That truck came barreling around the bend, Hero. Like he’d been waiting to see us leave the compound.”

“We figured,” he replies, dryly.

“No.” I protest as I sit down on the sofa and turn to rest my back against the arm, pulling my knees up, and squeeze a tan and blue striped throw pillow to my chest, curling around it like a rollie pollie bug. “You don’t get it. He’s watching me specifically. I’ve been thinking on this. Doesn’t it seem odd I get run off the road? My house gets broken into. And then we get run off the road a second time in only a couple of weeks? Whose luck is that bad?”

“I’ve been thinking that all along, Caity. So tell me why it means you should leave when we’ve already established why you shouldn’t.” Hero cocks his brow and waits for me to continue.

“I told Tommy I thought it was probably someone texting and driving. But that’s not what happened. I’m sure of it. Jade was with me both times. She’s his target. The rattle incident with Gunner just proves it. That asshole is going after Lords kids.” My eyes water, though I manage to keep the tears in check.

Hero pulls his cell from his pocket after it had chirped with a text, then he looks at me. “Oh shit. You gonna cry? I can’t handle crying.”

“No, I’m fine. Deal with your text.”

But he doesn’t text back as he starts to walk out of the room with his phone to his ear. “Blood.” I hear him before he disappears to the laundry room.

This is not good for so many reasons. Because it means Houdini has been in town, he’s been watching more than just the Hollisters. To run me off the road, he had to have watched Duke take me to get to an injured Jade. Watched as he stayed all night at the hospital with me. Watched him bring us home, and when he brought bags laden with groceries over to my house. And watched when Duke took us to Nashville.

We’d been watched by a madman and never knew. Not until he’d broken into my home. I hate my daughter being the Guiney pig for Houdini’s next dastardly plan, but I can’t help think it was good Boss had been out of town. Otherwise he could’ve gotten to Elise again, or baby Gun.

Before he leaves my sight completely, Hero pops his head back in the room. “Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? Shit went from bad to really freaking bad when Elise took off. Boss was a mess. And we haven’t seen Chaos in… how many months? I don’t even know anymore. You’re a strong woman. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be the president’s old lady. Stick, Caity. For all of us, but mostly, for him. Stick.” Then just as quickly as he’d shown back up, he’s gone.

Stick? Could it be that easy?

No. It can’t. Because at the end of the day, he doesn’t have a daughter targeted by a psychopath. I have the daughter targeted by a psychopath. Duke loves Jade. I know he does. But he’s not her father. He’s never made any promises or declarations of his future intensions toward her. Or me, for that matter. He hasn’t asked us to move in with him permanently, only to stay until the other families went home.

God, my head is so messed up.

No time to stew on that, though. Not when the man himself strides into the kitchen. He’s the handsomest man I’ve ever laid eyes on in my life. The kind of handsome that sucks you in and forces you to reveal all your secrets. He’s the most dangerous kind of handsome there is.

Gruff, gritty, rough around all his sexy, impossibly strong, tattooed edges. Yet he has the softest heart of any man I’ve ever been with. And the way he looks at me, with so much warmth, he makes it hard to consider leaving.

“Hey honey,” he says. But the honey cracks and he has to clear his throat. My heart beats erratically in my chest. “Quit looking at me like that, or I’m gonna fuck you so hard on that sofa, we’ll end up breaking it, too.”

Defiantly, I continue to stare at him as I have been, taking up the challenge. Because I want him. I want him so badly my entire body vibrates with need. When Duke and I connect, I feel safe. I feel alive. Nothing in the world can get to me. To Jade. When Duke slides inside me, I’m home. And right now, with my head a mess and my emotions prickling my skin, they’re so close to the surface… Corny. I know, I know it’s corny, but there’s no place like home.

“Right,” he murmurs. Then, lightning fast, he’s across the room. Hands on each of my forearms, he pulls me up off the blue jean sectional to press his lips against mine. Gliding his tongue over the seam back and forth until I open for him. Taking a long pull, he drinks down my kiss as if it’s the coldest beer in the cooler on the hottest day of the year.

But right when I’m ready to find home, he breaks the kiss, closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. We’re both breathing heavily. I couldn’t catch my breath if I tried.

“W-why did you stop?” I ask. Shock and disappointment thick in my words and meaning.

“Ain’t been cleared yet. Still healing.”

I wince because I know how much it cost him to stop. Because there’s a physical ache in my heart that only Duke can ease when we’re connected. And I can feel his very prominent erection pressed against my belly.

His next words undo me. Make me not care if every healing wound rips open.

“God woman, I wanna fuck you so bad. Fuck you ’til you know down to your bones how I feel about you. But that’s why we can’t. Because I won’t ever risk hurting you. Never.”

I close my eyes and breathe him in. It might be lame, but at least it’s an attempt to calm my raging libido.

“But I will lay with you,” he finally whispers, taking my hand as he leads me inside our bedroom. He pulls off his boots, drops his cut on a chair, pulls back the comforter, then gently helps me down onto the bed, pulling me practically on top of him after he settles. In a last move, he flips the comforter back over the top of us.

In his arms, in his bed, the decision is made. I have to try to stick. Unless Houdini takes that option away completely, I have to stick.

 

***

Over the next couple of days we’d cleared out three-quarters of the refrigerator and freezer space by sending lasagnas and tuna noodle casseroles up to the clubhouse and over to some of the families living in the singlewides. The thought was nice, but no one needed that much pasta.

Funny how those, in retrospect, could be considered the good ’ole days. The trail for Houdini had run cold. Or if Blood had found something, Duke hadn’t relayed it to me. My fractured wrists seemed to have healed nicely, so much that I could probably get the casts off, but I hadn’t been back to the doctor yet to have it done or be cleared for any other activity.

I’d been living on pins and needles since the accident. As a result, I’ve become somewhat of a shut in. If we don’t leave Duke’s house, then my girl stays safe and no other man has to needlessly die on our behalf. One of the prospects or Hero does grocery runs whenever I need something.

Though, I got an earful the time Hero had to buy my tampons. Christ, what is it with guys and tampons? It’s a fact of life. Women have periods. Period. That didn’t stop Hero from coming at Duke. “I don’t care you’re my president, you’re fucking her, you buy the damn tampons.”

Since we haven’t left the compound, Jade has gotten to know everyone really well. She’s in her element, entertaining compound kids on the jungle gym that her Duke bought for her. There are perks to being considered the stepdaughter of the man in charge. In the hierarchy of kiddom, my little girl falls squarely at the top. She’s outside pushing her friend Teeny on the tire swing when a news story on the television catches my ear.

I walk over to stand in front.

Breaking news. Child abduction. Thornbriar.

What?

At the same time, I jump as a loud beep sounds from my phone, startling me. An Amber alert. The picture of a little girl fills the television screen. I’ve looked on that face so many times since Jade and I moved here. Her name is Laynie Briggs. Even if it wasn’t plastered across the screen, I know it. She’s Jade’s age. Goes to Jade’s preschool. And further… worse… all Jade’s teachers joke almost every time they see me that little Laynie Briggs could be my daughter’s twin.

Her twin.

There, of course, are some differences, since they share no common DNA. But the two little girls really do look startlingly similar.

And then I hear Jade’s small voice. “Why is Waynie Bwiggs on the TV, Mama?”

What do I tell my four-year-old? How do I explain that her classmate has gone missing without scaring her to death? Without giving her nightmares? Without taking away her childhood innocence?

Oh god. My chest feels tight. I can’t catch my breath. A girl from my baby’s school was abducted. A girl from my baby’s school, who could be her twin, was abducted. As hard as it may be, I fight to calm myself.

The news breaks to a press conference, and I see her scared, grieving parents begging for the safe return of their daughter. Parents who happen to be patients of mine.

The kids see the pediatrician next door because they want ‘what’s best’ for their children. They only eat organic because they want ‘what’s best’ for their children. And they enrolled Laynie at Jade’s preschool, the same as they’d done their other kids, because they wanted ‘what’s best’ for their children. And yet, it didn’t turn out to be best for Laynie. One of the few places she should have been safe, one of the few places… and she wasn’t.

Days like today I wish my grandmother was still alive. She’d know what to do, what to say to calm my nerves. Hearing her sweet voice always had that effect on me.

I could call my mother, probably should call her. But I don’t know if I want to handle my mom’s attitude when I tell her the man I’m living with is the president of an MC. Furthermore, she’d be all over me learning that said sexy biker has a murderous psychopath after him and his brothers.

Forget about telling her about the accident and its connection to the psychopath. She and my father would be here next plane out to drag me and my daughter back to Arizona, where they’d moved years ago for the dry climate after my dad’s asthma got worse.

But he’d be willing to risk his health for my safety. My daughter’s safety. Especially my daughter’s safety. And he’d waste no time going off on me and my poor life choices for the rest of my life. Then he and my mother would want to set me up with every polo and khaki pant wearing, golf-loving, church going man they meet.

I don’t go to church or enjoy golf, and never, never have I entertained the idea of a stuffy polo/khaki man in my life. Even Aiden wore jeans and button-downs untucked, with the sleeves rolled up. Casual class.

Clean-shaven. Expertly coiffed. I shudder at the thought. I know the kind of men my parents would gravitate toward. If he had any tattoos, they’d probably be one of those unfortunate tribal’s preppy frat guys get on drunken party nights.

So not me. I doubt a man like that could engulf my whole body with his sheer size. I’m tall for a woman.

Those kind of men are fine for other women. I’m sure making them perfectly happy. But I’ve never desired a man like that before, nor do I see myself with one now.

And I’m quite sure no other man could fuck me so hard we’d break the sofa.

No other man would ever be Duke Ellis.

So no, I won’t be dialing my mother.

Without a second thought, I pick up my phone from the coffee table and press Duke’s contact. After three rings, he answers. “Everything okay?” he asks. It’s loud. Like maybe he’s by a busy road.

“I’m scared, Duke.”

His voice grows hard. “What happened?”

“A little girl from Jade’s class. She was kidnapped today from the playground.”

I hear his sharp pull of breath when the words hardly finished leaving my mouth.

“She looks just like Jade. No joke, they could be twins.”

“Okay,” he says. And I appreciate the way he tries to soften his voice. “I’m on my way. Peaches with you?”

Like an idiot, I nod. Realizing he can’t see me, I speak up. “Yes. She’s right here.”

“Good. Right. Make sure she stays in sight, yeah?”

“Yes, Duke.”

“So talk to me.”

Jade and Teeny get tired of me not answering Jade’s question about Laynie and walk off back toward Jade’s bedroom. That’s a good place for them. Inside her room, inside the compound.

“Doc?” Duke prompts again.

“We can’t have sex yet.” Yes. That is what I blurt out into his ear, completely non sequitur to the conversation at hand.

The bastard laughs.

“It’s not funny. The doctor hasn’t cleared me for physical activity yet. You rub up against me every night. I’m horny as hell, and I don’t want some expertly coiffed, golf-loving, polo and khaki-wearing, tattooless man.”

“Pardon?” He’s still laughing.

“Nothing. I suppose you’re busy and need to finish up with what you have going on. I’ll let you get back to it.”

“Never too busy for you. Now talk to me. What was all that?”

Melting from his confession. He’s never too busy for me. In response to all that, I lose control of my faculties and tell him what I promised myself I wouldn’t. At least not yet. “I’m horny, I’m too scared to leave the house, and I think I love you.”

Silence. Complete humiliating silence.

I’m saved from having to endure his reaction when my other line beeps. “Someone is calling, I have to go.” Then I swipe to answer the other call.

Trish would be in class right now. Maryanne, at the law firm. That leaves one friend. “Hey, lady,” she says softly in lieu of a hello. “How are you today?”

I’d likely still be grieving over Jesse and know I’ll go back to it once my fear abates but for now I answer. “Did you get the amber alert?”

“No. Just got out of the shower. Why?”

“Do not go anywhere, but if you do, do not take Gun without more than one escort.”

That gets her attention. “What’s going on? Cait, is Jade alright?”

“Yes. It’s—uh—not Jade.”

She breathes out heavily.

“But,” I continue. “It’s a little girl from Jade’s school.” My chest feels as if it’s being squeezed by a giant hand again. Tight. Painful. “She could be Jade’s twin.”

“Did you call Duke?”

“Yes. I hung up on him.”

“What? Why?” she asks, well more like screams as she laughs. Yes, laughs. As if anything I’ve said is funny.

“Because I have to break up with him.”

“Sweetie, I know he made a mistake with his mother-in-law, but you can’t really be still holding—”

“That’s not it.” Do I have the guts to repeat it out loud again? “On the phone, before I hung up, I blurted out…”

Her voice has calmed. “Blurted out?” She draws out the out to make it five syllables long.

“I blurted out that I love him.”

She giggles. “That’s what I thought you were going to say. What’d Duke say?”

“Nothing. He said nothing. Not even thank you. Just let the words hang between us through the humiliating silence. Then you called, and I hung up on him.”

“I can’t believe you hung up on Duke,” she says, getting her giggles under control.

“It was for the best.”

“Well girl, I’m married to a badass biker who I’m going to call right now because I don’t want to deal with the fallout from him finding out about that little girl later. But I can tell you, they don’t take kindly to being hung up on.”

“Yeah…” That’s all I have in me to reply.

Laynie Briggs is missing.

Laynie Briggs. Is missing.

So what happens when he finds out he took the wrong girl?