Chapter Thirty-One
Brie shoved through the doors of the courthouse, shoulders back, satisfaction humming. Ryan had just nailed down the closing details on the Palmaro case. The final settlement between the two parties had left their client happy, which meant Charles would be too.
She glanced at Ryan, heart skipping along with the nerves that plucked at her courage and laughed at her insecurities. “Nice work,” she said as they waited to cross the street.
The area outside the Civic Center Courthouse was busy with the typical midweek flow of people heading in and out of the multiple government buildings clustered around the plaza.
“Thank you.” He flashed a quick half-smile. “Same to you.”
Pride flared as they crossed the street. The hours they’d both dedicated to the case faded into the background now that the parties were in agreement. It didn’t always work that way, which only made the wins feel bigger.
She snuck another glance at him. The sun tugged out the lighter shades hidden within his dark hair and added a glow to his cheeks. Or was that the extent of his display of excitement?
He guided her around a group of people pointing at City Hall, his hand placed on her lower back. It fell away moments later, but that touch still made her heart hitch. That little lift and fall of recognition.
Her blood warmed too. It pumped through her on an added beat of awareness. None of that had faded since the beginning. If anything, it continued to grow stronger.
And she’d hesitated.
The why of it baffled her now. Two days later and her heart still screamed yes to his offer. He hadn’t pushed or questioned her either. Did he care or was he simply being Burns? Logical. Distant. The consummate professional upholding his agreement?
The scent of food from the small line of food trucks parked on the edge of the plaza drifted over to tempt her nose but not her hunger. Her stomach was too knotted to allow even the thought of food to be desirable.
She hooked her briefcase higher on her shoulder, took a deep breath. “Yes,” she told him, cutting a quick glance his way before refocusing on the enclosed glass building that housed the elevators to the underground garage. “I’ll move in with you. If the offer’s still open.”
“It is.” The quick drop of the two words held zero insight to his thoughts. “Are you sure?”
His strides didn’t falter nor did hers. But the world filtered away until there was only him, walking beside her, making one of the biggest leaps of her life.
“Yes. I am. Are you?” Her pulse made a double-time attack on her throat that outpaced the click of her heels on the sidewalk. They were doing this. Here. Now.
“Yes.” He touched her arm, slowing. She came to a stop, nerves leaping in every direction when she turned to him. His love blazed down at her when she finally met his eyes. His lips quirked, amusement mixing with tenderness. He ran the back of his fingers down her jaw before he drew her in, his whispered “very” ghosting past her ear.
Relief collided with her flailing nerves before joy took over.
She squeezed her eyes tight, her arms coming around him to finish the embrace. The rightness snapped in the second she was enfolded within his strength. That shiver spread on a confirming note around her heart.
Every reason for her hesitation was gone now. Poof. Eliminated beneath his certainty.
“Brighton?”
She jerked back, her head whipping around to find the source of the voice. No. It can’t be. Not here. Not now. Fear slammed in the second her doubts were confirmed.
“I thought that was you.” The high tone full of fake sincerity scratched over Brie’s nerves to leave them raw and exposed.
“Mom?” she choked out, thoughts scrambling. She inched away from Ryan in an automatic need to distance him from her mother’s daggers. “What are you doing here?”
She went in for the false hug that chilled the warmth that’d only just been there.
“Nice catch, honey.”
The soft whisper in her ear sliced a path of revulsion to her heart. She pulled back, her smile plastered on despite the bile crawling up her throat.
“Why haven’t you told me about him?” The admonishment came on another soft note meant just for her. A smile laced with condemnation broke the perfect plane of her mother’s face. She cut a glance to Ryan, her once-over not so subtle before she christened Brie with her silent reprimand.
Rejection pulsed as she stared at her mother. She couldn’t look at Ryan, not when even the slightest indication from her would send her mother into full predatory mode. She appeared so...pleasant. Her hair was perfectly arranged. Her suit tailored perfection. Her smile soaked in honey behind her power-red lipstick.
Brie’s smile tightened. The threat breathed down her neck to draw her defenses out. They snapped into place on a blink and small flick of her chin.
She wove her arm around her mother’s shoulders, attempting to turn her away from Ryan. “I love the suit,” she said, shifting the focus from herself. “Is it new? The cut looks great on you.” Flatter, preen and dodge. She ran a hand down her mother’s arm. “I could use some new suits myself.”
“Thank you,” her mother said, accepting the compliment before she waved Brie off in a move of false embarrassment. “I picked it up a few weeks back.”
“Brighton,” her dad broke in, stepping up behind her mother. The stiff hold of his smile could’ve been understanding or impatience. “This is a surprise.” His gaze slashed to Ryan, his meaning implied.
Dread pooled into a sick muck that coated her lungs. She sucked in thin breaths, her smile threatening to crack.
“We were just handling a case,” she evaded, motioning to Ryan who was now feet away. Her parents looked at her with expectation that forced her manners to comply. “Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. We work together. You caught us celebrating a big win.” She rattled out the string of sentences on a rush of panic followed by a forced laugh.
Her gaze skittered between the three of them, her heart so leaden each beat was a pronounced thump. “What are you doing here?” she went on before her dad could even lift his hand to greet Ryan. “Do you have time for lunch?”
She flashed a glance at Ryan, a silent plea going out only to crash on the stone wall of his expression. Gone was the love and affection that’d been there just moments ago. In its place was the calculated blankness that gave away nothing. It froze out opponents and dumbfounded charmers with its complete lack of emotion.
And it was directed at her.
A chill swept over her, sinking into her bones. Her skin prickled with the anxiety choking off her air. A counter heat spread over her limbs and down her back in a proclamation of the gigantic mistake she’d made—was still making.
She’d messed up. Alarms blared a clear warning, yet she had no idea how to change course. She wasn’t prepared for her worlds to meet. Couldn’t Ryan understand? Couldn’t he see her panic? Hadn’t he heard her when she told him about her mother? About her life?
“Hey, Burns!”
The call broke through the tension on a snap of reality. The world crashed in to bring another horrific threat.
Jacob strode up, a polite frown tugging his lips down. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said, glancing between them before he refocused on Ryan. “I was wondering if you had a moment.” Inquiry met concern as his brows drew together.
“We should get going,” Brie managed to say, her voice sounding distant in her own ears. “I’ll meet you back at the office.” She tossed the last out to Ryan without waiting for a response.
The zero acknowledgment from Jacob didn’t stop the clash of her worlds from exploding into a fiery ball of doom in her head.
“Mom, Dad,” she urged, nudging her mother forward. “There’s a nice place just around the corner. The salads are perfect.” Because a bunch of greens tossed in a bowl with some other items could be imperfect, right? “Why are you down here, again?” she prattled on, each step away from Ryan a victory and a conviction. “You didn’t tell me you’d be in the city,” she added in an attempt to shift the guilt.
Awareness bit down her spine in little digs that drew blood, but her sense of wrongdoing slammed against a rock of defiance. She drew her shoulders back, insisting silently that she was doing the right thing. It’d be okay. He’d understand.
Hell, he’d never implied or hinted that he’d like to meet her parents, not once.
Her mother allowed Brie to urge her along, but her shoulders were stiff, and her jaw held that glacier edge of disapproval. Her voice was low and sharp when she spoke. “That was very rude of you.” Her nostrils flared her contempt around the frosty gloss of the smile that remained. “I can’t believe you brushed him off like that.” Her eyes darted over her shoulder in an unneeded reference to whom she was referring.
Brie caught her dismay before it managed to unhinge her jaw. She clenched her teeth, refusing to give her mother more ammunition.
“It’s a gorgeous day,” she said instead, her throat aching with everything she wasn’t saying. “How long—”
“Brighton,” her mother snapped, stepping away from Brie’s guiding arm. Her glare was laced with menace. “I’m not stupid. I know exactly what you’re doing. What I don’t understand is why.” She turned around, and Brie followed her lead, the pending doom burning the back of her mouth.
But Ryan was gone.
She scanned the area, her pulse racing in a mess of regret and relief. Her fingers itched to dig out her phone and text him an explanation. An apology. A plea for understanding.
Would he answer?
“Joanne,” her dad soothed. “It’s none of our business.” He shot an apologetic smile at Brie.
Her mother whipped around. “It’s our daughter. Of course it’s our business.”
“There’s no business to be in,” Brie interjected. “Really. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her confused tone was Emmy worthy. She held her expression in the crafted bafflement that’d worked since her teens.
The light changed, and her mother stalked through the crosswalk three steps ahead of them. Her dad drew her into a side hug that managed to slow the darkness that was engulfing her. “You should head back,” he told her. “I’ll handle your mother.”
Brie had to swallow to keep the sudden rush of tears from climbing higher. She blinked, blew out a breath. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not,” her father chided. “It hasn’t been for years.”
Her head whipped around. She studied him, lost in the past yet trapped in the present. “What do you mean?”
He lowered his arm so they could thread their way between the oncoming pedestrians. Her mother continued her sulking stalk until she yanked open a door and stepped inside, apparently picking the restaurant.
Brie came to a stop, grilling her dad with her eyes as he did the same. “There’s nothing wrong,” she insisted, uncertain why she was doing so. It just was. They all pretended nothing was wrong in order to keep the balance. That was how it worked—how it’d always worked.
A light breeze picked at the ends of his gray hair to ruffle them to the side. “I owe you an apology, Brighton.” He brushed her hair over her shoulder in a touch reminiscent of times when she’d been dressed in her kitty-cat nightgown, waiting for a hug goodnight. The action tugged on the fragile strength holding her emotions together.
She shook her head, not in rejection of his words but of what they could mean to her stability. “Are you getting a divorce?” she burst out. “Is that why you’re here?”
Her father’s dry laugh held amusement, not bitterness. “No, honey. We’re not. It was just a meeting with our lawyer over our estate.” He glanced to the restaurant. “Believe it or not, I do love her.” The warmth in his expression declared as much. “But,” he went on, “I love you too. And I believe I’ve held back too often when I should’ve spoken up. My lack of assertion has hurt you.”
Her head was shaking before he finished. “Don’t say that.” She laid a hand on his arm. His cashmere sweater slid under her palm with the same softness layered into his voice. “I’m fine.” She was a grown woman. Her father’s responsibility had ended years ago. Her mistakes and hurt were all on her now.
“I know who Ryan Burns is.” Fear zoomed back in to rip at the comfort her dad had established. “I referred you to Charles,” he reminded her, but there was no reprimand in his tone. “I’ve lived long enough to recognize love when I see it, and that hug was more than a simple celebration.”
Panic zinged back to shred her lungs. She struggled for air, but refused to let her father see her distress. “Where are you going with this?” She couldn’t deny his statement despite the self-preservation that said she should. Not when she longed to share her joy with him.
You were supposed to be able to do that with your parents.
Blue eyes so like her own stared back at her from behind his glasses. “Don’t let your mother’s ambition ruin what you have with him. Not if it’s real. Not if he makes you happy. And Brie...”
The use of her nickname broke the dam that’d held her tears back. They roared up her throat to slam into the backs of her eyes with a force she couldn’t control. She tried to blink back the burn before she dashed the first few away. She sniffed, swallowed, averted her eyes to hide her pain.
“Honey.” Tender love enfolded her as her father wrapped his arms around her. “Brie. Sweetie. What have we done to you?”
Her father had been the first one to ever call her Brie. Others had followed, but never her mother.
“You haven’t done anything,” she told him around another sniff. She managed a weak smile as she pulled back. “Except love me.” His giving nature had been her salvation. The years had aged his appearance, but he was still the dad who’d worked long hours and commuted even more to give his family the security of a stable home. They’d never stressed for anything even though her mother had insisted on the best of everything.
And in her own way, that was how her mother showed her love. She’d wanted the best for Brie, she’d simply failed to understand that her definition of best wasn’t the same as Brie’s.
Her dad shook his head, a sad frown adding wrinkles to his forehead. “I should’ve stepped in—”
“Don’t, please.” She dug through her briefcase for a tissue. “The past is done. And really,” she shot him a smile, “it wasn’t so bad.” No. It’d been pretty blessed. Especially compared to Ryan’s.
His sigh held a weight she couldn’t dislodge for him. She could barely carry her own demons right now.
He tucked his hands in the pockets of his slacks, a grim smile curling his lips. “I was going to say, you looked happy before we interrupted you.” He paused a beat, and Brie finally gave him the confirming nod he was waiting for. Her smile grew at the admission. His own grin followed and some of that weight seemed to lift from him. “Good. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you.” There was the joy. Her dad knew about Ryan and the world hadn’t ended. She took a deep breath, her lungs expanding with the freedom it brought.
“Does he treat you right?”
She chuckled at the dad question. “Yes. He does.” The memory of how right slid in to wrap her in another hug. He loved every side of her like no one ever had. She bit her lip, hesitated, then took the plunge. “I’m moving in with him.” Her stomach twisted in the half-second it took her dad to respond.
“You are?” Surprise lifted his voice, but there was happiness in it too. “Then I think I’d better get to know this man before he sweeps you away.”
Her eyes darted to the restaurant door, doubts rushing in.
“I’ll handle your mother,” he reassured her. “I promise. Just don’t let us keep you from him. And please, don’t keep him from us.” The flash of hurt in his expression had her second-guessing every reason she’d created to keep Ryan away from them. “I’d like the opportunity to get to know the man who makes my daughter happy.”
Oh...and the tears were back. Shame washed over her in a sneak attack that left her chest tight and her heart sore. She’d done that, hadn’t she? She’d kept Ryan away from them because of her own fears and...embarrassment.
She hadn’t wanted Ryan to meet them. No. She hadn’t wanted Ryan to see her around them. She conformed to her mother’s expectations every damn time. How would he see that? He’d given her power when she’d been stripped naked in a room full of men, yet she was afraid to be her own person around her mother.
Not anymore.
She started for the restaurant, but her dad laid a hand on her arm, stopping her.
“Don’t,” he said, reading her intent. “Not today. Nothing good will come out of a confrontation today.” His wisdom sucked the life from her burst of determination. He gave her another hug that managed to heal some of the battle wounds scarring her heart.
He released her, keeping his hands on her shoulders. “Go find that man of yours and apologize. I got the distinct sense that he didn’t take your dismissal well.” He chuckled softly, stepping back. “I know I wouldn’t have.”
Her regrets slammed back in to remind her of the damage she’d inflicted on Ryan. How had she done that to him?
He’d told the other partners about her. He hadn’t made her into a dirty secret to be hidden away. But that was exactly what she’d done to him.
Pain seared her heart as another wave of panic took hold. It nestled beside the mortification that slowly revealed the truth of her actions.
She’d shunned Ryan for absolutely no reason.
The man who’d worked his whole life to dig himself out of a bad situation. Who’d achieved so much. Who was an amazing wonderful person. Who’d become everything to her.
Who she’d refused to acknowledge in front of her parents.
What had she done?