Next Door Daddy by Amy Brent (37)

“Told them what?” Nicole felt her chest tighten. “Horatio? What's going on? Do you know what this is about?”

He let out a long sigh. “It's...complicated.”

“Well, you'd damn well better uncomplicate it,” she said. “Now.”

“I can't explain this over the phone.”

“Don't give me that. Horatio, these men came to my home. If you know what's going on, you need to tell me, now.”

“I'll explain everything as soon as I can,” he said. “You're going to have to trust me.”

“Horatio...”

“Nicole, dear,” Horatio said. “Please. I promise you that this had nothing to do with you. It's my fault. I told them they didn't need to bother you, but they didn't listen.”

“What? Horatio, you talked to these men? What do they want?” Her hand clenched into a fist. She felt herself shaking from head to toe.

“I'll explain as soon as I can,” he said. “It's nothing to worry about. Just some...business trouble.”

“Business trouble?” She glared at her phone for a second, wishing Horatio was there so she could smack him upside his head. “Horatio, this wasn't the IRS or something. These were government agents. Are you doing something illegal?”

Horatio sighed. “No, Nicole. No, I promise it's nothing like that. But you need to believe me when I tell you that I can't talk about it. Not now. Not until I see you in person.”

Nicole ground her teeth, but she couldn't think of anything to say in response. As much as she didn't like to admit it, this really wasn't the sort of conversation to be had over the phone. “I want to see you the second you get back here. You need to explain this to me.”

“I will,” he said. “I promise. I'll see if I can get an earlier flight. And I'll explain everything. Don't worry.”

“You'd better,” she said.

“I will. And Nicole...I hope you know that I love you.”

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the door. That was the first time he'd uttered those words to her. She wanted to be angry at him for saying it now, under these circumstances. It wasn't fair. But she couldn't be mad at him. Not when his words made her realize how much she loved him too.

“I love you,” she said. “You'd better get your ass back here soon.”

“I will. I promise.”

Nicole hung up the phone, and then sat there on the floor for a long time, staring at the ceiling. Her head was spinning and she felt like her entire world had been turned upside down. She didn't know what to do or what to think. And the only person that could give her any answers was on the other side of the world.

She just had to force herself to believe him, and to trust him when he said that everything would be all right.

8

A few days later, Nicole was working a long shift in the emergency room. She had barely heard from Horatio since the last time she spoke to him on the phone. He'd texted her a few times, letting her know that he had found an earlier flight back, and that he would come see her as soon as he “took care of this situation.” She didn't even know what that meant, or how he could do anything about the government agents that had come harassing her at her home. She imagined him bribing them to get them to leave her alone, but somehow that didn't seem like Horatio's style. He might be rich, but he didn't seem like the sort of person to throw his money around in order to get what he wanted.

Her thoughts remained plagued by the confusing situation throughout her shift. Fortunately, the patients coming into the emergency room, for the most part, weren't in critical condition. She tended to a young girl who came in complaining of scoliosis-related back pain, and then was released after the doctor gave her a prescription for pain relief medication. A mother brought her baby in, complaining that he had an unusual rash, but it turned out to be nothing that a medicated cream couldn't cure. And while there were plenty of other patients that required a bit more attention and time, no one had come in with any serious or life-threatening conditions. Until the end of the night, that is.

They got the call at almost 8.00 PM. The emergency room doctor came rushing in, shouting at the nurses to prep for an incoming patient. “Shooting at a downtown strip club. One gunshot victim coming in. Critical condition.”

Nicole's heart started to race. She had never dealt with a gunshot victim before. She had undergone training for such emergencies, but this was the first time such a thing had ever come into her hospital. It took a few moments for her mind to overcome the shock, then her training took over and she started helping prep for the incoming patient. She helped the other nurses gather the necessary supplies and prepare the operating room. Then there was a tense few moments of waiting until the ambulance arrived.

As soon as the ambulance arrived, the paramedics unloaded the wheeled stretcher from the back and rushed the patient into the hospital. He was moved immediately into the operating room, where the staff started prepping him for surgery. There was an IV in his arm and an oxygen mask over his face. Blood stained his clothes, leaving dark patches over the black silken material of his suit. When they started cutting his shirt open to get clear access to the gunshot wounds, they found an empty gun holster hidden beneath his jacket, making Nicole wonder for a moment if he was some kind of undercover police officer. Then she got a better look at his face beneath the oxygen mask.

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

It was Horatio.

* * *

Nicole stumbled back out of the operating room, clutching at her chest. The doctor glanced at her and shouted, “Nicole! We need you back in here now.”

“I...I can't,” she said, gasping for air. “That's my...that's my...”

The doctor turned his full attention back to his patient. “Someone get her out of here. And get me another nurse down here, stat.”

Nicole leaned against the wall, one hand pressed against her chest. The room was spinning. She couldn't think, couldn't move. She stood there, swaying on her feet, until one of the hospital security guards came over and took her by the arm, leading her down to an empty bed in the emergency room. He laid her down on it, and then closed off the curtain between her and the patient in the next bed.

“Are you okay, Nicole?” he asked. “What's the matter? Are you sick?”

She shook her head, unable to think clearly enough to speak. She put a hand over her eyes, squeezing her eyes shut tight, trying to block out the image of Horatio on the operating table, covered in blood. She couldn't stop seeing it. She told herself she had to be wrong. It couldn't have been him. It didn't make any sense. What would Horatio have been doing at a strip club? How could he have gotten shot?

“I'm going to get you some water,” the guard said. “Wait here. Don't try to get up.”

Nicole couldn't have gotten up if she tried. She laid there until the guard returned and handed her a bottle of water. She took it and fumbled with the cap, but her hands were shaking too much to get it open.

“Here,” the guard said, taking the bottle from her. “Let me get that for you.”

He opened the bottle and handed it back to her. She raised it to her lips, spilling a bit on the front of her shirt. She gulped down some water, and then pressed the cold bottle against her forehead.

“How are you doing, Nicole?” the guard asked, patting her hand.

“I feel like I've gone crazy. That...that couldn't have been him.”

“Him who?” he asked.

“My boyfriend. He's...he's the one they brought in.”

“The gunshot victim?” The guard frowned, looking over his shoulder towards the operating room. “What happened to him? Do you know how he got shot?”

“No, I have no idea. I didn't even think he...I had no idea that he...” She took a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself. Nothing made any sense. She couldn't find her center. She couldn't even steady herself enough to think the situation through logically.

Her first thought, the only way she could make the situation begin to make sense, was that Horatio had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. But then, why was he wearing a holster? Maybe, she thought, he had a gun for personal protection. It wouldn't be unheard of for a wealthy man to take such measures to protect himself. Maybe it had been an attempted robbery.

That almost made sense. She could picture some crook seeing Horatio, with his fancy suit and his expensive car, and deciding to rob him. Or maybe someone had seen him take his wallet out at the strip club. She was a bit disgusted at the thought that her boyfriend had gone to such a place, especially since he wasn't even supposed to be back in the country for another day or two, but she pushed that thought aside. He had obviously been there, whatever the reason. And if someone had seen the hundred dollar bills in his wallet, they might have tried to rob him. And maybe Horatio had pulled out his own gun to defend himself. It was crazy, but she had seen crazier things.

“I'll be fine,” she told the guard. “I just...I just need some time to rest and get myself together.”

He patted her hand. “You let me know if you need anything, okay? I'll take care of it for you.”

He went back to his post, leaving Nicole laying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. She knew she needed to get back up and get back to work. Even if she wasn't working with the doctor treating Horatio, there were other patients there that needed attention. But the thought of getting up made bile rise in her throat. She needed some time to steady herself.

And as soon as Horatio was out of surgery, she needed to find out what had happened to him.

9

Once Nicole was able to get on her feet again, she went to check on Horatio. By then, the doctor had stitched up his wounds, and Horatio had been moved to a recovery room. He was laying there, unconscious, his chest covered in bandages and an IV hanging beside his bed. She asked the doctor, and he said Horatio's condition was stable. It seemed that none of the bullets had hit any vital organs, though he had lost a lot of blood and would need time to recover.

“When can I talk to him?” she asked.

“Nicole, you know how these things work,” he said. “We need to give him time to rest and heal. We can't risk waking him up before he's ready to.”

“A-all right,” she said, hanging her head. “I'll check in on him later.”

“No,” the doctor said, putting a hand on her arm. “I want you to go home and get some rest. You had a pretty serious episode there. You need to get yourself together.”

“I can't go home,” Nicole said, shaking her head. “Not while my boyfriend is here like this. I need to stay.”

The doctor sighed. “Fine, you can stay if you want, but not on the clock. You're no good to anyone until you've had time to rest and recover. Get yourself something to eat, then go lay down for a while. Horatio isn't going anywhere, and I doubt he's going to be waking up before morning anyway.”

“Thanks.” She started to leave, and then turned back to the doctor. “Does anyone know what happened? How he got shot?”

“You'd have to ask the police about that,” the doctor said. “I really don't know.”

“All right. Thanks.”

She went to the cafeteria and forced herself to eat. The food tasted wooden in her mouth, but she forced it down anyway. She'd done it before, when she was working long shifts without end and didn't have time to enjoy a meal. She knew that she needed to eat to keep her strength in order to get through this ordeal.

Once she'd eaten, she went to Horatio's room and curled up in a chair by his bed. She couldn't bear the thought of going home or being anywhere else but by his side. Even though he seemed stable for now, she knew that anything could happen. And she knew that he would need a friendly face by his side when he woke up. Someone to reassure him and help him see that everything would be all right.

And on top of all that, she needed answers. The moment he awoke, and she knew he was no longer in any danger; she was going to make him explain to her what was going on.

Sometime later, she awoke to the sound of Horatio gently coughing. She got up immediately, hurrying to the side of the bed. She put a hand on his forehead, looking at his face. His face was scrunched up in pain, and he licked his dry lips in between coughs.

“Hold on, dear,” she whispered, stroking his hair. “Let me get you some water.”

She brought him some water and held the bottle to his lips so he could drink. He took a few swallows, and then turned away, coughing. When he opened his eyes, he looked up at her, his face filled with strain. “Nicole?”

“Yes, dear,” she said, caressing his cheek. “It's okay. You're here, you're safe. Everything is going to be okay.”

He looked around the hospital room, then sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the pillow. “I was shot,” he said.

Nicole tensed up. “Yes. But the doctor took care of you. He said you're going to be fine.”

He opened his eyes and looked up at her, grimacing guiltily. “I'm sure you have a lot of questions.”

She ground her teeth for a moment. She wanted nothing more than to demand answers out of him, but she knew he still needed time to recover. “I do,” she said. “But that can wait, until you're better.”

“I'm not sure if it can wait,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed, meeting her eyes. “Nicole,” he said. “It's possible that you're in danger.”

She stepped back, frowning down at him. “Horatio, what are you talking about.”

“It won't be easy to explain. There are some things you need to know about me, and about my work. I'm not sure where to begin.”

“Well, you'd better start somewhere.” She planted her hands on her hips. “Horatio, just what is going on here?”

“You should sit down,” he said. “I'll try my best to explain.”

Nicole frowned at him for a long moment, and then pulled the chair over to the side of the bed. She sat down, crossing her legs and folding her hands over her knee. “Go ahead.”

Horatio took a deep breath. “Nicole, I work for the United States government. I'm an international spy and assassin.”

Nicole stared at him in shock for a long, silent moment.

Then she burst out laughing.

10

“Horatio, you've got to be kidding me,” she said, still laughing. “An assassin? Please. You couldn't possibly...”

He gave her a stern look. He wasn't laughing, and there wasn't the least bit of amusement on his face.

“What are you...?” Nicole shook her head, frowning at him. “Horatio, you can't be serious...can you?”

“Please,” he said, “let me explain.”

She sat back in her chair, her laughter gone now. She wasn't sure if she would believe any of this, but she had to hear it.

“I thought you were involved in international trade,” she said.

“More like international espionage.” Horatio pushed himself up a bit in bed, wincing as he did so. Once he was comfortable, he looked up at the ceiling, launching into his tale.

“I know you think that I made my money in trade and finance,” he said. “But the truth is, I get paid an exorbitant amount of money to fly overseas, collect illicit information from foreign contacts, and occasionally, to assassinate high profile targets.”

“That doesn't make sense,” she said. “Even if I believe you, you couldn't possibly make that much money doing this.”

“Not enough, by itself, to live the way I do,” he said, nodding. “But combine that with an impressive stock portfolio, and I've turned my pay into a sizable fortune over the years. And it helps that I have access to behind-the-scenes information about political upheavals and the like. I always know when a government is going to be toppled or a new regime will rise. It isn't hard to make smart investment decisions when I have access to that kind of information.”

Nicole crossed her arms and looked away. She didn't want to believe what she was hearing, and it disgusted her.

“I don't do it for the money,” Horatio said. “I do it to protect our country. The people I'm sent after, the ones targeted for termination, they're always dangerous criminals. Terrorists. Corrupt politicians. People who need to be taken down, and who can't be touched by diplomatic means. Someone needs to take care of them. That's my job.”

Nicole refused to look at him. She couldn't face the fact that the man she loved was a killer. She couldn't accept knowing that the father of her child had taken lives with his own hands, even if he did it for a good cause.

“What does any of this have to do with me?” she asked, still not meeting Horatio's eyes. “You said that I was in danger. And what about those men who came to my apartment? What, do they think I'm some kind of spy or something?”

“Actually,” Horatio said, “yes.”

She looked at him, a deep frown on her face. “What?”

“You've been under investigation since I first met you.” He gave her an apologetic smile. “It comes with the job, I'm afraid. They have to do thorough background checks on anyone I have extended contact with. To make sure that you're not some sort of threat to national security.”

“National security?” She scowled at him, spreading her arms. “Do I look like a threat to national security? For Christ’s sake, Horatio, I'm a nurse. I help people for a living. And I don't know the first thing about international politics, or terrorism, or any of this.”

“That's what I told them,” Horatio said.

“Told who? The men who came to my apartment?”

He nodded. “There was a misunderstanding. It took me some time to sort through it all. When they ran a check on you, some unusual things popped up. But it was all a mistake. There's another Nicole Willis living in the city, and by coincidence, you and her share a lot of the same background. There must have been some kind of information mix up, and they ended up thinking that you were her.”

Nicole shook her head. She couldn't figure out how to make sense of any of this. “Another Nicole Willis? Who the hell is she?” It didn't surprise her that someone else could share the same name as her. That sort of thing happened. But she didn't understand how that would put her life in danger.

“She's a stripper,” Horatio said. “That's why I was at the strip club last night. I was investigating her.”

“Wait, I don't understand.” Nicole rubbed her hands over her face, trying to get her head around this. “If she's a stripper, why would the government care?”

“Because a lot of men from the army base down by the docks come into her club,” Horatio explained. “Soldiers are notorious for spending most of their pay on beer and women. She caters to the soldiers who go to the club during their time off. Gives them lap dances and a friendly ear to listen to all of their problems. Every now and then, one of them lets something slip. Nothing too big, to be sure. It's not like people are telling her classified national secrets. But a bit of information here and there can add up, if she delivers it to the right people who know how to interpret the information.”

“So that's what this is about?” Nicole shook her head, still having trouble putting the pieces together. “Those men who came to my apartment, they thought I was a stripper who was selling secrets to...who? Terrorists?”

“Russian agents,” Horatio said. “She has one client in particular, Igor Romanov. He's a suspected covert operative. We've been trying to pin him down for years. I did some snooping around when I got back into the country, and I think Igor has been collecting information from Nicole...the other Nicole, that is, and sending it back to his superiors in Russia. The agents who came to your home were trying to find a connection between you, or rather, between who they thought you were, and Igor.”

“But I'm just a nurse. I don't know anything about this sort of thing.”

“I tried to tell them that. I gave them all the information they needed, your social security number, your driver's license number, all of it. They should have been able to use that to realize you weren't the Nicole Willis they were looking for.”

“So that's what you were doing in my purse that night.” Nicole frowned at Horatio, though she had a hard time being angry with him over going through her purse, considering everything else she had to consider.

He looked away in shame. “I'm sorry about that. I was trying to protect you. To keep you off their radar. But they didn't want to listen, and they pushed ahead their investigation without me.”

“So you went to find this other Nicole...and she shot you?”

“Not her,” Horatio said. “A man at the club. A suspected associate of Igor's. Things got a bit out of hand. He must have realized what I was doing there, snooping around. He tried to slip out the back, and I followed him. And, well...” He looked down at his bandaged chest.

Nicole got up from her chair. “I need to think about this, Horatio. I need time to process all of this. To understand. I don't know...I don't even know who you are anymore.”

“I'm still the same man,” Horatio said. “I know this changes things, but I'm still the father of your child. I'm still the man who fell in love with you.”

She looked into his eyes. She saw pain there, and regret. But she still couldn't be sure if she even knew who Horatio was anymore. She needed time to sort through everything he'd said and figure things out.

“I need to go,” she said, picking up her purse. “I need time, Horatio.”

“I understand. When can I see you again?”

“I don't know.” She looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “Just give me some time.”

“All right.” He smiled at her, obviously trying to reassure her. “I love you, Nicole.”

Nicole turned and left without answering. She didn't know what to say to him anymore.

11

Nicole needed some time off to sort through everything she'd learned. She didn't even know if half of it was true, though she couldn't imagine Horatio making up such a story. Though on the other hand, she wouldn't have been able to imagine him being some kind of secret agent, either, before that day.

She requested some time off from work, using the vacation time she'd been planning to save for the holidays. She spent the next few days at home, trying to come to terms with what Horatio had told her. She had no way of confirming or denying anything he'd said. Searching online didn't reveal any useful information. There were news reports of the shooting at the strip club, but they didn't say anything at all about a Russian secret agent or an undercover international hitman. She tried searching whatever public records she could find about Horatio, looking for holes in his story. There wasn't much information to be found on him, either, other than some business articles about his work in overseas finance. She didn't know if the articles were forged as a part of his cover, or if he really did business overseas to keep a legitimate front on his activities. She supposed it made sense as a cover; as a businessman who regularly traveled to other countries to invest in disaster relief and community growth projects, especially in underdeveloped countries, no one would suspect that he was up to anything nefarious. He could easily make some public appearances, signing checks to fund various humanitarian projects, then when the press conferences were over, he could head off into the night to spy and assassinate, and whatever else he did in the name of national security.

She decided to try another route, doing some searches for news about the projects Horatio had funded, then comparing them to political events that had taken place in the same countries. She couldn't find anything concrete, but she found several examples of news reports of major political events that occurred within a week or two of one of Horatio's humanitarian projects. Once or twice there had been deaths under “suspicious circumstances” that occurred not far from a disaster relief project or a new hospital Horatio was funding. There was nothing at all to connect the events to Horatio, other than him being in the country at around the right time. She couldn't prove anything, and she wasn't sure if she wanted actual proof. But seeing the reports made it a bit easier for her to believe Horatio's story.

Horatio called her a few times while she was taking time off from work. She ignored the calls each time. Part of her wanted to talk to him. She missed him; she missed his touch and his voice. And she needed to talk to him in order to get more answers to the questions that plagued her. But at the same time, she knew she wasn't ready to speak to him. Not yet. She needed time to process everything on her own, before she could face him again.

After a few days of feeling stir crazy in her apartment, another thought occurred to her. She wanted to know something about this other Nicole Willis. The one who had somehow been mistaken for her.

She sat at her computer, searching for any information on the other woman. It proved almost impossible to find anything. There were several Facebook profiles of women named Nicole Willis, though most of them were listed as living in other states. She found a few news articles and other websites listing different people who shared her name: a photographer, a botanist, and a body builder, but nothing about a stripper. Even when she tried to google “Nicole Willis Stripper” and “Nicole Willis Exotic Dancer,” she couldn't find any information. And there were more than a dozen women with that name who didn't have anything listed about where they lived or worked, so the one she was looking for could have been any one of them.

She was about to give up, when she realized there was a much simpler way to learn about this other woman. She searched for the news article about the shooting, and found the name of the strip club where Horatio had been shot. The Violet Butterfly, a so-called “Gentlemen's Club” only a few miles from the hospital where Nicole worked. She had never been there herself—it simply wasn't the sort of place she would ever consider visiting—but she knew the general area. She realized she had driven past the place many times, though she had never really paid it any mind.

She stared at the computer screen, drumming her fingers on her desk. She needed some kind of answers. And foolish though it might be, she realized that this other Nicole Willis was one of the only people she could get her answers from. She needed to know if there was any truth behind Horatio's claims.

And in order to find out, she would have to go down to the club and meet this woman face to face.

12

Nicole arrived at the Violet Butterfly late on a Saturday night. She figured that getting there a bit later would make it easier for her to find time to talk to the other Nicole, since hopefully, she wouldn't be too busy with her actual customers. Though she was certainly hoping she could get a chance to talk to the woman without having to pay for a lap dance or something equally distasteful.

When she first walked into the gaudily decorated place, she found a board in the lobby with pictures of all of the dancers. They were all shown on stage, wearing next to nothing, though none of the pictures showed the girls completely nude. Probably because they wanted people to pay to get into the club before they got to see the “good stuff.”

She scanned the pictures on the board. All of the women were thin, though none were all that attractive, at least not by Nicole's standards. They had nice enough bodies, but it was clear even from the pictures that most of them had fake tits, badly dyed hair, and spray tans. Nicole had never understood women who altered their bodies like that. She herself was an all-natural woman, and while she knew she could have stood to lose some weight, she considered her natural curves to be a blessing. There was no way she would ever change her body just to be ogled at by random men.

The strippers all used stage names, many of them cheesy and over the top names like “Kitty Whiskers” and “Missy Storm.” None of their real names were listed. But there was one dancer whose stage name was simply “Nicky Aster.” She was a black woman who looked like she was in her mid to late twenties. Nicole studied the picture, wondering if this “Nicky” was really the other Nicole Willis.

She figured there was only one way to find out.

She paid the entry fee to get into the club. While he was handing her the change, the man behind the counter frowned at her and said, “You know we don't have dudes here.”

“Excuse me?” Nicole asked.

“I mean, there are no male strippers. Just so you know. But hey, if you're into the ladies, that's cool too.” He smirked at her, his eyes roaming up and down her body.

Nicole grimaced in disgust, taking her change and walking away. She didn't care what the man thought about her, but she hadn't come here to be leered at. Though considering the sort of place this was, she knew she shouldn't have been surprised.

She found a table near the back of the main room, away from the stage. She wasn't here for the show. She just needed to find out if Nicky Aster was Nicole Willis, and then find a way to talk to her in private. There were a few dozen other people in the club, nearly all of them men, though there were a few young pairs of men and women sitting together, apparently here on dates. Nicole didn't understand the mindset of a woman who brought her boyfriend to a strip club, especially when she saw some of them buying lap dances for their boyfriends. She supposed some girls got off on seeing their man with another girl, as long as he came home with them at the end of the night with his engine revved up from the show.

When Nicky came out to dance, Nicole started paying more attention. The show didn't do much of anything for her, though a lot of the men in the room hooted and hollered, waving dollar bills at her. Nicky teased them and let them shove money into her underwear. A few guys even copped a feel when she came close enough, though Nicole noticed that the woman kept her distance from those men afterward. At the end of her dance, Nicky blew a kiss to the crowd, and then walked off stage to make room for the next dancer.

A few minutes later, Nicky came out onto the main floor, dressed now in a tight top and skimpy shorts that left little to the imagination. She walked from table to table, flirting with the customers and trying to sell them lap dances. She didn't so much as glance Nicole's way, probably guessing that Nicole wasn't likely to pay for a lap dance. Nicole watched the woman, wracking her brain for a way to approach her and bring up what she needed to talk about.

Finally, desperation set in and she did the only thing she could think of. As Nicky started walking past her table on her way back to the dressing room, Nicole called out to her, “Are you Nicole Willis?”

Nicky stopped and looked at her, her eyes widening. “Who wants to know?” she asked.

Nicole got up from her table and approached Nicky, lowering her voice. “I need to talk to you. It's about Horatio Cameron.”

Nicky frowned at Nicole, planting a hand on her hip. “Never heard of him. Do you want a dance, or are you just wasting my time?”

Nicole's mind raced, trying to think of what else to say. She had no idea how to get information out of this woman. “What about Igor Romanov? Do you know him?”

Nicky's face blanched. She took a step away, waving her hands in front of her. “I don't know nothing. Leave me alone.”

She turned and hurried away before Nicole could say anything else. But the look on her face had been answering enough. Nicky had clearly recognized the name. The only problem was, it had scared her off.

Nicole hung around the club a little bit longer, hoping to run across Nicky again so she could try to get something more out of her than a cold shoulder. When it became clear that Nicky wasn't going to show her face again, Nicole sighed and gave up. She slung her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door, figuring the entire trip had been a complete waste of time. She would just have to talk to Horatio, try to accept that he was telling her the truth, and hope they could move on with their lives.

The parking lot was dark as she walked to her car. A single street light flickered nearby, casting a stuttering light over the area before going out again. Nicole watched the shadows as she walked, a shiver racing up her spine. She walked a bit faster, looking over her shoulder to see if any of the sleazy men from the club had followed her. She reached into her purse for her pepper spray, just in case.

Before she could find it, a hand reached out and snatched her wrist. She yelped in terror as a huge monster of a man twisted her to the side and pinned her back against a car. He glowered down at her, knocking her purse out of her hands and putting a hand on her throat.

“I heard you were looking for me,” he growled. “Who the fuck are you, huh? You don't look like no fed.”

“I...I'm...I...” Nicole trembled under the man's grip, her chest feeling tight. She choked back a sob. “Please, let me go.”

“Not until I get some answers, bitch,” he said. “Why are you asking questions about me? You think you can come snooping around here, bothering Nicky, and I won't know about it?”

“I don't...I don't know what you mean,” Nicole said. “I don't know you. Please, let me go.”

He squeezed her throat, almost cutting off her air supply. “Try again, lady. You asked Nicky about me, and I want to know why. Who do you work for?”

It took Nicole's frazzled mind a few moments to figure out what was going on. This man, she realized, had to be Igor Romanov. Nicky must have called him after she ran off, letting him know that someone was in the club, asking about him. And Igor must have thought she worked for the government. It was insane, and she had never thought that her snooping around would lead to something like this. She had just been trying to find out the truth about Horatio.

“Talk, bitch,” Igor said, pressing her tighter against the car. “Don't make me ask again. If you do, you and I are going to take a little ride, and have a chat someplace more private.”

He clenched a fist, making a silent promise about what their “private chat” would consist of.

“I don't know anything, I swear!” She struggled against his grip, but he was too strong. There was no chance she could possibly escape. Tears started streaming down her face. “Please, let me go. I won't tell anyone anything. I just want to go home. Please...”

“Wrong answer, bitch.”

Igor raised his fist.

A gunshot rang out across the parking lot.

Igor stumbled away from her, clutching at his side. His hand came away red with blood.

Igor raised his bloody hand, staring at it in shock. He looked up and met Nicole's eyes.

Then two more shots rang out. Bullets ripped into Igor's chest and he dropped to the ground. He shuddered for a moment, and then stopped moving.

Horatio appeared out of the darkness, holding a smoking gun in his hand. He rushed over to Nicole. “Nicole, dear, are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

Nicole shuddered, letting out a fierce sob of relief. She fell against Horatio's chest, clinging to him. He held her close and stroked her hair, whispering soothingly to her, and telling her that everything was going to be all right.

13

Horatio hurried Nicole to her car and they both got in. Horatio took the driver's seat, pulling Nicole's keys out of her purse and inserting them into the ignition. They were driving before Nicole could start thinking about what was going on.

“Wait,” she said. “Don't we need to wait for the police?” She looked over her shoulder at the parking lot as Horatio drove away. A crowd was already starting to gather outside, drawn by the sound of the gunshots.

“No,” Horatio said. “I can't risk blowing my cover. I might already be exposed after what happened the other day. But don't worry, I'll get my people on it.”

“Your 'people'?” She frowned at him. “What do you mean? And what are you doing out of bed? You should still be in the hospital recovering.”

“I'm fine,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road. “And I mean the government. They'll take care of this. Make Igor's death look like a mugging. Or possibly gang violence. Depends on what spin they decide to put on it.”

Nicole leaned back against the seat, covering her face with her hands. The situation was more than she could deal with. She had watched someone get shot. She had almost been killed. And now her boyfriend, the father of her child, was talking about a conspiracy to cover it up.

“Is that what you do?” she asked, unable to look at him. “Kill people, and then cover it up?”

“Nicole, that man was a monster. He was about to hurt you. Maybe even kill you. And we know he's been selling secrets to the Russians for a long time. Not just the information the stripper was giving him. We think he's been hacking government servers, bribing public officials, and using all kinds of other means to steal classified information. We never had enough evidence to bring him to trial, but after tonight that won't matter.”

“But you just killed him.” Nicole stared at Horatio in shock.

“Because it was the only way to protect you,” he said. “And to protect our child.”

Nicole looked out the window, unsure what else to say. If Igor was really as bad of a man as Horatio said, then there was no reason to mourn him. But at the same time, she wouldn't have wished for his death. Even knowing that he planned to hurt her, she wouldn't have wanted him dead. In jail, facing charges for his crimes, and able to stand trial, yes. But not dead.

But she knew Horatio was right. She had been in danger. Possibly mortal danger. And even if Igor hadn't planned on killing her, he would have hurt her, and that might have made her lose the baby.

She reached over and put a hand on Horatio's leg. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing,” he said.

“No, it was something. You saved my life.”

He smiled at her, putting a hand over hers. “I couldn't let him hurt you.”

They drove back to Nicole's apartment. When they got there, Nicole had to help Horatio out of the car. He had been ignoring the pain from his injuries when he needed to rush in to save her, but now that the moment had passed and his adrenaline had faded, his injuries were taking their toll on him. Nicole led him straight to her bed and laid him down, and then she took off his shirt so she could check his wounds. She changed the bandages for him, but she was worried that he had pushed himself so hard and had been back on his feet only a few days after being shot.

“You need to go back to the hospital,” she said.

“I'll be fine.” He gave her a forced smile.

“I'm not asking. I'm telling.” She gave him her sternest look, the one she reserved for stubborn patients who didn't want to listen to medical advice.

He let out a long sigh. “All right. But not a public hospital. I'll call my people. It would be better if I went to a private, secure facility.”

“I don't care where you go,” Nicole said. “As long as you go get checked out.”

Horatio made a few phone calls, sending some of his people to take care of the situation with the police back at the club. Not long after, the paramedics arrived to take Horatio to a secure medical facility. Nicole insisted on riding along with him. She ended up pacing in the waiting room of the medical facility while she was waiting for news about Horatio's condition. When the doctor eventually came out to speak with her, he told her that Horatio had torn out some stitches, but they had patched him up again and he was in stable condition, though he would need to remain in bed until the doctor was sure it was safe for him to move around again.

Several weeks passed before Horatio was given a completely clean bill of health. He was allowed to leave the medical facility at the end of the first week, and Nicole did everything she could to care for him at home, in between regular checkups with his doctor. They spent a lot of the time making plans for the baby that would be on its way in a few months. And while Nicole was happy now that Horatio was healing and safe, and she was overjoyed that they had a baby on the way, there was still one last looming issue that weighed on her mind.

She fought with herself for days about how to bring it up. She didn't even know what to say. But she knew that if things between her and Horatio were going to work out, she needed to speak her mind.

One morning, when she couldn't keep it in any longer, she looked at him across the breakfast table and said, “Horatio...we need to talk.”

14

Horatio set down his knife and fork. He folded his hands on the table and looked her in the eye. “All right,” he said. “What do we need to talk about?”

Nicole took a deep breath. Now that she had worked up the courage to talk about this, she didn't know where to begin. “Our lives have changed a lot in the last few months. My life has changed a lot.”

“For the better, I hope?” Horatio smiled at her, his eyes filled with his love and adoration for her.

“Yes,” Nicole said. “Of course. I love you, and I want us to raise this child together. But that means being together.”

Horatio lowered his eyes. “I think I know where this is going.”

“If it was just that you travel a lot, I'd be okay with it. I mean, lots of people have jobs where their work takes them overseas for weeks at a time. And I'd be fine with that, because I know you'd be coming home to me at the end. But I need to know that you are coming home.”

“Coming home alive, you mean,” he said, giving her a grave look.

She pressed her lips together in a thin line. It took her a few moments to sort through her thoughts so she could talk about this rationally, instead of letting her emotions take over. “You were shot, Horatio. You almost died. I saw it. You don't know what that was like. Seeing you there, covered in blood. And I don't think I could live like that. Seeing you off at the airport, knowing you were going off into danger. Knowing that you might not come back.”

“People married to soldiers in the military, or to police officers or firefighters, face that risk all the time,” Horatio said. “But it's for a good cause. It's to save lives. I made a decision a long time ago that I would be willing to risk my life, if it meant saving others.”

“That was before you became a father.”

He looked away, toying nervously with his napkin. “I know. I know that changes things. But I don't know if...”

“If you could give up that life?” She reached across the table and took his hand, squeezing it tight. “For me? For us, and our child? I know it might seem like a lot to ask. But you can't ask me to face the possibility of your death, not when I'd be left here alone, raising our child without you. Haven't you done enough already? Protected enough people?”

“Is this what you want?” he asked, his tone quiet and serious. “Is this what you need? For me to give up that life?”

“We don't need the money. You've got more than enough to take care of our baby without risking your life to earn a living. And while I know you believe in what you do, I have to hope you can believe in something else, too. In a life with me. In our family. You have to believe that we're worth it.”

“This is really important to you, isn't it?”

“More important than almost anything else,” Nicole said.

Horatio looked off into the distance for a moment. Then he sighed. “Very well. If this is what you need, if this is the best path for our family, I'll do it. I'll quit.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course, I do.”

He got up and circled around the table. He took her hands in his. She rose to her feet, looking into his eyes. “You, and our child,” he said, “are my biggest priorities. Nothing else matters. I'll do whatever it takes to give you the best life possible. And to make sure that our child grows up strong, healthy, and loved.”

Nicole stepped into Horatio's arms and held him tight. The tension that had filled her for days started to fade away. He rubbed her back, offering her silent comfort and support. He kissed her cheek, then her neck, sending little shivers running through her skin. His lips found hers, and they kissed deeply and passionately. They hadn't made love in weeks while Horatio was recovering. But he was fully healed now, and Nicole felt a deep need for him building up inside of her.

She took his hands, smiling coyly at him, and led him towards the bedroom. She pushed him down onto the bed, and then she stood over him, slowly unbuttoning her blouse, taking her time and teasing him with little glimpses of flesh. She wanted to take her time, to work him up real good, and to savor every moment of the experience, especially considering how long it had been.

Horatio took off his clothes while he watched her, then he reached down and started touching himself, his eyes locked on her the entire time. She licked her lips, feeling the heat rising in her body. Her clothes dropped to the floor, she ran her hands slowly, and sensually along her curves, her eyes locked on Horatio's. Then she slowly stepped forward, crawling onto the bed and climbing on top of him.

He held her by her hips as she mounted him. Her back arched and she started riding him slowly, rocking her hips back and forth while he thrust up into her. He sat up and she pulled his face close to her chest, holding him tight while she rode him. He kissed her soft skin and moaned in pleasure as they made love long into the afternoon.

Afterward, she laid in bed with Horatio, her head cradled against his shoulder, holding him close. She put a hand down over her belly, smiling in contentment. She hadn't expected her life to turn out like this, and she was sure there were still more things she needed to learn about the man she had fallen in love with. But she knew now that they were sharing the same path together, and it was a path she was grateful to be on. She didn't know what twists and turns life would bring her in the coming months, but she knew that she had found a great man, a man who would give anything for her and do whatever it took to protect her and keep their child safe. And who would provide a wonderful life for them.

And, if she was lucky, she might just get a chance to visit all of the wonderful places around the world that Horatio could take her, knowing they were there simply on vacation, and not as part of a crazy international espionage scheme.

SCANDALOUS

Megan

Megan Brown found herself faced with yet another dilemma. She could pay all of her bills and not have enough money to feed herself, or she could pay some of the bills and lose something equally important like… power. She put her head in her hands once more, sighing as she glanced over the pile of bills on the table in front of her. She worked too hard to have nothing to show for it. Every single day at the diner she put in hour after hour to try and make it all come together, but she was failing miserably, with no light in the trees.

As usual, she grimaced when she heard the loud clank of tires outside her apartment building. She wasn’t in the best of neighborhoods, but she could afford it and it was home. There had to be more to life than this, had to be more she could do than to wait tables in a shabby bar where all she seemed to be in place for but to be hit on by men, who assumed she was an easy option since she just so happened to be a big girl.

Being a big girl didn’t define her, in fact being big and beautiful was part of what she loved about herself. Sure, she could focus on losing the weight eventually, but in order to do that she had to love who she was now. She walked now, over towards the one window in her efficiency apartment, looking down over the riff raff in the parking lot. Yes, she loved herself, and one day she would be out from under this mess once and for all.

She walked carefully to the bathroom, looking closely at her reflection. Her skin was a shade of honey and chocolate. Not dark, but not light. Her skin was flawless, something she got from a long line of women in the family. She took care of herself, her make up light, never really enjoying the weight of it on her face. Her body wasn’t like the typical women most men would find attractive, no instead she was curvy and full. Her hips were very clearly defined in her outfit, but she loved it.

Sadly, everyone couldn’t hang. That was obvious when her boyfriend Raymond had been caught red-handed with one of her friends. There was something about having a friend that was model thin, and a blonde to boot, that made men act stupid. Her friend Leslie had been around for years, but she was swayed by Raymond, and the two of them had been caught red handed the day she came home early from work. The reality of the situation is that he probably had cheated on her more than once, and this was simply the straw that had pushed her over the edge, once and for all.

Sadly, she had lost a friend as well, but no real friend would sleep with her man. Of course, when she had confronted him, all the while calmly waiting for him to get the rest of his things out of her apartment, he had blamed her weight. Vaguely she remembered him telling her something about how she didn’t take care of herself enough etc. But deep down, though it had stung for a moment she knew that wasn’t true at all.

Sitting down once more she glanced over at the newspaper, hoping to see something new and exciting she may be able to do to earn some extra money. An ad caught her eye, and she had to smile slightly as she read it.

Do you have free time on your hands? If so, we may be able to pay you

For your precious time. Fun and exotic locations, meeting, fun and new people.

Seeking women for dating site, all sizes, ethnicity and ages.

Whatever they were selling, it certainly was worth a shot. After all it did say all sizes. She dialed the number, and was given a time to come in and meet with someone. All she could do now was see what this was all about.

Nicolai

There were days when he thought his responsibilities would never end. To make matters worse, he was stuck in the United States looking for his brother, who would manage to get the family name drug through the mud in more ways than one. He glanced down at his watch, frowning. The flight was delayed, undoubtedly giving cause for concern from his mother. Everything about this plan, she had helped him concoct felt wrong, and it would likely backfire on all of them.

Roman, his brother was the heir to the family fortune, to the inheritance, well… to damn near everything. He was 2 minutes older than him, and about 10 years younger in his maturity level. On more than once occasion Nicolai had to step in for a function and pretend to be Roman. Serving on the board for the business, escorting one lovely lady after another to functions. Even once he had met an ambassador from the Ukraine, presenting business options on how to strengthen the supply of their family holdings. All the while he did his work, he received no recognition for any of it.

He loved his brother, there was never any doubt about that. He simply wanted him to stand up and lead the way the family expected him to. Instead, he left a trail of wounded widows, and debts behind him as he enjoyed the luxuries the family name allowed him.

Soon, he would let it all go, especially if this plan worked. Then Roman would be firmly settled down with a wife, and Nicolai could set out to figure out his own life. Fortunately for Roman they were identical, in almost every way. A full head of wavy honey brown hair and deep brown eyes, they were both tall and muscular. Genetics played a part in that, it wasn’t from working hard at it, at least in Romans case. They both had an easy smile, and at the moment they both sported a full beard. He had adapted it from his brother, and even now the blasted thing was driving him crazy.

He made his way down the walkway towards the plane, finally boarding. He had more than a couple meetings, and then there was the wife hunting to take care of. Surely he could pull this off, perhaps she would be a sweet girl. He frowned, it was doubtful. Money did the talking, and she would do whatever they told her to fit a particular fit for the family. Nothing more, nothing less. He had two days to find a woman, and give her the part. Surely that was plenty of time in a city like Washington D.C.

He settled into the plane for his flight. Within the next year he would be his own man, and his blasted brother would be forced to settle down once and for all. He picked up the phone to have a car waiting for him in the city, the sooner he locked in the girl the sooner he could start looking for Roman.

As he stepped out into the city he made his way to the agency he had procured a month before. Today he could review the tapes, and find the right one. She would have to be attractive, and have some spirit. She would have to be able to be the epitome of etiquette. Most of all she would have to learn when to be quiet, and when to talk. He made his way inside to see the woman he had to choose from.

Blonde, blonde, blonde. Petite, fragile, full of… With a sigh he sat back in the chair. They were all beautiful girls; he wouldn’t take that from them. The fact of the matter was that here in the states this is what “top of the line” was. He knew if he debuted a fiancé with blond hair the media would have a frenzy with it. His brother’s tastes were very different, and in particular he disliked blondes. As he waited for his coffee, he clicked on one profile after another. He scrolled through them all and passed her at first. He moved backwards and waited.

She wasn’t typical in any way at all. She had skin the color of dark caramel, and green eyes. Her body was what caught his eye initially. Curvy, and feminine, she was in fact, quite beautiful. She spoke with intelligence, asking as many questions to the interviewer as they asked her, which caused him to smile. She was certainly not the quiet type. Soon the interview was over and she stood, smiling and shaking the interviewers’ hand. He watched her as she walked, her head held high, obviously she had been offended by something she had been asked.

Yes, there was something special about her, and he couldn’t wait to meet her.

Megan

“Wait, wait let me get this straight. I came in for an interview last week, was put on reserve and now you’re telling me you need me? She sat back, frowning. Something was definitely wrong.

The entire premise of the ad had been misleading. She wasn’t sure she could even go out with any of these people, not if they expected something from her she wasn’t willing to give. Now, they had called her in to talk about a potential offer.

The petite blonde was red faced as she glanced down at her. Megan found herself mildly amused at her actions. She cleared her throat.

“Well, it seems there was a client who scanned through the women, and he uh… he chose you. I can assure you the offer is a good one, very good actually.”

She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “Ok then, what’s the offer?”

The blond jumped into action, obviously motivated by her commission.

“His name is Roman Gregorio. He is Russian, very handsome actually. He needs an escort to a few functions over a three-day period starting Friday. There are a few catches’, however you would have to be able to conform to.”

“Hmm, a catch? Imagine that.” Megan methodically tapped her foot as she waited for the blond to finish.

“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “He would need you to appear to be his fiancé, publicly, and stay with him for the duration of your assignment.”

“What? Ok sweetheart, I don’t think so. But, thank you for the offer.” Megan couldn’t believe it was really, any of it. She stood to go and approached the door.

“Wait! The pay is $500,000 dollars.” The blond was overly eager now.

She paused, turning slowly. “I’ll do it.”

She made her way to the car lost in her own thoughts. That was a lot of money to pretend to be the fiancé to some rich guy. It would fix all of her problems at least for the time being and possibly set her up for a more productive future. It would certainly pay for college. She smiled to herself. This was certainly starting to sound like an amazing adventure.

She found herself at home, looking through her closet. She lived in the rural area of Virginia, but close enough to Washington. When she had gone locally to apply for this crazy “job” in the first place she’d had no idea her information would be sent out to surrounding counties. Now, she had one day to pack everything she thought she would need and at Dulles International Airport by Friday morning.

There were various things in her closet, a little bit of everything really. She knew that she needed to look nice, presentable for the events she was going to. She had to wonder why he had chosen her, over all the women in the place. It was obvious that she stood out a little different than the others. With a shrug, she decided to not think about it, or care. No matter what happened, she would be 500 thousand dollars richer in a few days. There was still some apprehension in her deep down as she loaded up her things and made her way to the car the next morning. She took a deep breath, smoothing down her dark silky hair as she made her way to the airport.

She found the counter and picked up her information. As promised everything had been taken care of and she soon found herself in a luxurious seat sipping champagne. Whoever she was working for certainly did have taste. The flight was relatively short, as she exited the plane she felt herself a little more excited than before. He was going to meet her here, and take her back to the hotel as a couple. Her role in this assignment was going to start very soon indeed.

She glanced around until she saw a sign with her name on it. She had to swallow hard, as she looked at the man holding it. He was short, a good two inches shorter than she was, balding with a slight grey smattering of hair on his otherwise shiny head, and he was frowning at her as she approached him. She knew this was going to be much harder than she thought. She decided to do her best, after all he had chosen her. She thrust her hand out to him, which he simply looked at.

“I am Megan.” She said it calmly as she waited. He gave her a once over and gave her a slight bow, before turning to have her follow him.

He was a rude little negative thing, but she followed along, determined to make it through the next three days with some sense of dignity. She watched him as he made it to the car and helped her inside, never once smiling at her or saying a word. It would be very difficult indeed to pull off being his fiancé if he was going to be so difficult to talk to. She settled into the plush seats, thinking about her situation once more, letting it roll around in her brain. The truth of the matter east that she didn’t even know this guy, and here she was sitting in his car. He could be a serial killer or something. Who knew?

It may be a good idea to take in her surroundings so that if something bad did happen, she could make it home safely after her escape. She decided to jot down a few notes, stresses and intersections just in case. She slipped the paper and pen back in her bag just as they pulled up in front of a massive and elegant hotel. She gulped hard as she watched him open the door for her. At the very least he had some manners, and was still holding on to chivalry.

She turned to face him, waiting on him to say something, but he simply made his way up the grand staircase and to the front lobby. She followed along, amused as he sent a few young men scurrying out to the waiting car to get her bags. He was a hard-ass, and liked getting his way. Whoever he did have to marry was a poor girl. They rode the elevator and finally she’d had enough.

“I know we don’t know each other, but in order for this to work don’t you think we have to at least look like we like each other. I mean you are stone cold.” She glanced at him waiting on a response. When he didn’t say anything, but simply cleared his throat, she felt herself getting irritated. It was just rude.

“Well, whatever, I mean it’s your money. If you don’t want to talk to me then that’s just fine with me. I’ll just settle in with a good book, and make your appearances. I was just trying to be nice. It’s obvious you don’t feel as though you should do the same.” She snapped at him, and yet she couldn’t stop herself when she did it.

There was a level of frustration in the way he simply walked out of the elevator as it opened, never once saying a word to her. She would have to be careful with this guy. For whatever reason he wanted her to be pissed off, or he was just a jerk. Either way, she needed to keep her cool before she lost this job entirely. They walked up to a room and he produced a gold key swiping it across the front of the door which unlocked it for them. He pushed open the door, allowing her to walk inside and he quickly followed her. Standing by the door, he cleared his throat once more.

“Paulson is that you? I can’t believe you made it back so quickly. I had that ridiculous conference call and now I am stuck…” He trailed off as he walked into the foyer.

It was a rare occasion in her 25 years that Megan had ever been speechless, and this was one of those occasions. He took long strides into the room, his upper body thick and full. His hair fell over his eyes perfectly accenting them, giving her a hint of the chocolate brown there. He had a beard, just enough to give him an edge, and he was beautiful to look at. She felt her body react to him the moment he walked in.

He turned his attention to her, one eyebrow shot up as he gave her a one over and moved to stand in front of her. He smiled then, making her heart beat faster as he took her hand in his, delicately planting a soft kiss on the juncture between her forefinger and thumb. An odd place to be kissed, but it sent a shiver up her spine nonetheless.

“You must be Megan?” He gave her a lazy smile. “I am Roman; I see you met Paulson.”

“Uh, yes, I mean you’re Roman? He didn’t tell me that. In fact, he didn’t say a word.” She looked over and happened to catch a glimpse of what looked like a grin on Paulson’s face before he bowed and left the apartments.

He let her hand go, and there was a slight disappointment in that. “Ah yes Paulson is a man of few words, don’t take it personally sweetheart that is just who he is.” He walked over to the bar, sauntering and he poured a drink, handing it to her before he took a long sip of his.

“Thank you but, I’m fine for now. I don’t like to drink too much.” She gave him a slight smile.

“Well, let me show you your room for the next few days.” He walked ahead of her which suited her just fine as she was able to look at him more closely. He had the most adorable mole under his left ear. Something she hadn’t noticed before. She was still looking at him when he opened the door to her room.

She had never seen a room like this before, all in patters of blue which suited her. There were flowers and fluffy pillows spread around the room accenting the massive bed in the center. She smiled.

“This is a beautiful room, thank you.” She glanced up at him, noting the puzzled look in his eye.

“You’re a beautiful girl, you should sleep on nothing less.” He gave her an exaggerated bow, which caused her to laugh slightly.

“I suppose that means you’ve begun the facade then?” Very well, thank you dear, I can’t imagine anything less.” She blinked her eyes at him and he smiled at her.

“We should probably go over the details of what we need to do while you are here, that’s true enough. I’ll let you settle in and when you’re ready just come out and meet me in the dining hall. I’ll be waiting. He turned and whistled slightly as he made his way out of her room.

Once he was gone she let her body relax, slumping down in a plush white overstuffed chair by a vanity. This job was much more complicated now that she had met the employer. He was too good looking for his own good. With a shrug she slipped into some soft sweats and a t-shirt and pulled her hair up high on her head. She refused to be someone she wasn’t, and her job was to play the role of his fiancé when they were out. As long as she was indoors, she would be herself.

Nicolai

He paused, waiting to hear her moving around in the room. He had been a little taken aback when he had come around the corner and she was standing there. Her video had made her attractive, true, but seeing her standing in front of him had been like a punch in the gut. She was beautiful. He kissed her hand, something Roman would likely never have done. He was doing his best to stay in character as his brother, but he had already slipped once, and he would have to work hard to not do it again. Roman wouldn’t have laughed at her jokes, or smiled at her like some stupid school boy.

He would have to try and stay focused, and not let her under his skin any more than she already was with her smoky eyes and curvy frame. The one thing both he and Roman did have in common was control. He was always in control, as it should be and he liked it that way. It wasn’t just business, no he controlled all areas of his life, unless he was somewhere pretending to be his brother. In his 32 years Nicolai had never let a woman get too close to him. They were there for sport, and for fun, but he had no intention of getting serious about one. Eventually he would have to marry, and continue on the family name. It was something that had been important to his father before he had died, leaving the family fortune in Romans very incapable hands. For now, he could focus on luring Roman home with the latest debacle he was creating with the lovely Megan on his arm. If word got out Roman was engaged, the media would have a field day, thus pulling Roman home to confront his brother, and ultimately settling him down once and for all. Before the family fortune was lost and the business a failure. He thought about Megan and Roman together, and he smiled. She was his type in some ways, but her personality would certainly drive him crazy. He could tell by the way she raised her chin a notch from time to time, and did her best to take in every detail about her surroundings that she had a very distinct personality, not one for being told what to do.

He turned on one heel flicking the phone in his pocket onto the screen that would allow him to get the ball rolling on the events to come. Yes, Roman would have quite a few opinions about this entire situation when he got the news. He moved into the kitchen once more thinking about the lovely lady in the room next door. He would have to be very careful to not slip up and be himself… again.

He heard the door open behind him, and he turned to face her again. He took in her appearance and wanted to smile, his immediate reaction to her physical being. She was relaxed, and comfortable. He couldn’t help but notice the sway of her hips as she entered the room and settled herself at the table where everything had been laid out. No Roman wouldn’t smile, in fact, he would likely order her back in the room to find something more suitable to wear. The thought went against everything he had he put a frown on his face.

“I trust you are relaxed?” He smiled at her, careful to keep it from making it to his eyes.

“Yes, I am fine. I assumed since we weren’t going to be seen until tomorrow I had the freedom to wear whatever I wanted. If this is a problem, just tell me.” He felt the heat of her eyes on him, and he cleared his throat. Yes, she definitely had some fire in her. He watched her face relax.

“I’m sorry, I suppose the flight was a little more than I thought.” She said it nicely enough, planting a simple smile on her face, but he knew better. She was offended by his offhanded remark, but she needed the money.

“You are fine Megan, now let’s get to the logistics….”

They talked about everything they would be doing, and attending. He showed her layouts of every event and who they would meet. He watched as she marveled over the events and what was expected of her. But she visibly squared her shoulders, determined to get everything done.

“Do you have any questions?” He sat back in his chair watching her.

“Only one… why do you need a fake fiancé?” She leaned forward, asking him bluntly.

“Ah, that… I have a few things in my business that I need to have rectified. I don’t have time to be engaged, but I need every viable businessman in the country to take me seriously. The only way to not appear as a childish dolt, is to establish some roots. Thus, a fiancé.”

“I see; you’re not worried about after the weekend?” She frowned, scrunching up her brow and she was adorable.

“No, on the contrary, if things go well, I’d like to do this again over the next year or so, until I get everything I need… and want.” He let his eyes roam slightly, something Roman always did to women, especially ones with perfect breasts like this one.

She blushed the heat rising up in her cheeks, and he stopped.

“I can do that.” She whispered.

“So Megan tell me about you. We will need to have some foundation in case someone asks. Obviously there will be some fiction mixed in, but I do want to know some things about you.”

She sighed, glancing out of the window before she turned to face him once more. “I am an only child to a single mother, my father left when I was 4. I don’t even remember him. I live in the northern part of Virginia, so it’s not the best areas, a lot of crime, though I am tough and managed to stay out of trouble most of my life. I am 25, I love who I am and I want to go back to school. That’s all there is to me really.”

She was tapping her fingers on the table her manicured nails obviously done by herself.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Megan… one who would come blow our cover?” He asked her simply enough, but the tension between them was undeniable.

“No, I don’t do boyfriends.” She raised her eyes to his, never wavering.

He felt something stir deep down inside him. He wanted her, there was no way around it. She bit back, had an opinion of her own and everything about that usually sent him running, but not with her. He ran everything, and yet here she was meeting him word for word. Perhaps he was amused, but what he was sure of was that he wanted the delectable Megan in his bed. They wrapped up the discussion and dinner arrived. He could tell she wasn’t sure what to do, and despite his reservations he taught her a few things about the multitude of cutlery on her table. She listed and was eager to learn what he was showing her. He moved closer to show her, his hands grazing hers, causing an electric shock that coursed through him. Subconsciously he moved his hands down, brushing the tender curls that had escaped the pile of hair on top of her head. He let his fingers slide down to graze over the smoothness of her shoulders, smiling as he heard her intake of breath. Yes, she was affected by him too.

“We should probably keep things professional, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I wanted to kiss you Megan. But only with your permission.”

He waited, watching her face as she ran through more emotions at one time. She let her eyes meet his.

“I don’t even know you…” The words were whispered, but as she bit her lower lip, her eyes found his.

“Actually, my dear, for all intents and purposes, we are engaged. We will be holding hands and dancing among other things sweetheart, but I won’t push.”

An hour later she excused herself to bed, still shaken by his words. He bid her goodnight, having gone over the money aspect of the arrangement, and what she was allowed to say or not. He sat there lost in thought for a good long while. Part of him was confused about his reaction to her. She was just a girl, not even the most beautiful. But there was something about her that made his fingers itch to go rip open the door to her room and bury himself deep inside her, feeling her curvy frame beneath him. Even thinking about it made him squirm. He would have to work twice as hard tomorrow, and as they faced the evening dinner.

Megan

She sat down on the bed carefully, every nerve ending in her body was on fire. He was too much, too much heat and too much power. She had always thought of herself as a strong woman, but when Roman was around she became unhinged. He said he wanted to kiss her, and for a moment she had contemplated it. She must be slowly going crazy. If it had been anyone else she would have welcomed his advance on her with a sound slap on the face. But not with him, he was dangerous and sexy to boot.

She shed her clothes and slid into a gown, wrapping her hair up for the night. He wasn’t even her type, and she knew she wasn’t his. Yet they sized each other up often enough and now she was tossing and turning in her room, knowing he was somewhere down the hall undressing and climbing into his own bed… With a sigh of frustration she rolled over and finally willed herself to fall asleep.

The next morning came early and she woke up early, as usual. She loved facing the morning sun and bringing in a new day. It was a part of her routine and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She tiptoed out of her room and down the hall into the living area to do some stretches. She glanced down at the city below her from the floor to ceiling glass windows. It was almost too much to take in at once. She was still stretching when she heard him behind her.

“It’s a beautiful view isn’t it?”

She spun around to face him, her cheeks flaming. He had likely seen her stretching before she had even walked over to the window.

“Yes, it is! I rarely get to come into the city.” She smiled at him, now and it came easy to her.

She gave him a once over. Everything about him was perfectly in place. His hair, still damp from an early shower curled slightly at the nape of his neck. He was holding a cup of coffee and he was dressed casually, his khakis and button down shirt completed the picture.

“You like to rise early I see.” He glanced at her once more as he spun to walk back into the kitchen area.

“Yes, I hate to waste time.” She felt the heat rise up in her face as she faced the city once more.

He was driving her crazy, there was no easy way to put it. She barely got any sleep last night and he had started early today, giving her looks and watching her do stretches. She felt the heat rise to her face once more thinking about it. He was in the kitchen humming as he cooked, which surprised her really. She was under the impression he rarely did anything for himself. She padded her way into the kitchen watching him. She didn’t mean to watch him so intently, but he was cooking, happily humming as he did so. He was beautiful to watch, every movement flowed with grace and when he turned to face her, his easy smile, focusing a moment too long on her bottom lip before he handed her a plate of food. She joined him at the bar, both casually taking in the other.

“So Roman, tell me about you. You had no problem asking me questions now your turn.” She settled into the chair, amused as a myriad of emotions crossed his face.

With a sigh, he took a drink of coffee. “I have a brother, Nicolai, and my mother. My father died a few years ago. There is not much else to tell.”

“Is your brother married? Or does he hire fake brides like his brother?” She giggled as she methodically ate the food in front of her.

“Nicolai is not like me Megan, he is a good man, thoughtful and caring. No, he isn’t married nor will he ever be. I am the only one being pushed into marriage for the family.”

“I see.” She didn’t ask anything else, he obviously wasn’t willing to share any more than he already had.

As they finished there was a sharp knock on the door, startling her into action as she jumped up.

He chuckled as he swung open the large door and a team of people scurried in. She watched them set up different equipment in the living room and she frowned as she glanced over at him. What in the world? She rolled her eyes as she watched one woman in particular slink over to him, running her fingers up his jacket. He said hello, but didn’t give her any more attention than that which Megan found amusing. Eventually the woman turned to look at her, giving her a hard look as she looked her over.

“So this is what I have to work with?” She whispered it, only loud enough for Megan to hear.

Before she could say anything in return the team rushed over, and began making measurements of every inch of her. Her eyes found Romans, and he gave her a smile before walking over to her.

“Have a wonderful day, dear, enjoy this it’s one of the perks. I’ll pick you up for the dinner at 7.” He dropped a kiss on her mouth, which lingered for a mere second before he made his way out of the room entirely.

By the time night came, Megan was transfixed, staring at her reflection in the mirror in front of her. Gone was her long silky hair and sweat pants and instead she was now something out of a magazine. Her sleek bob was angled contrasting with her caramel skin. Her black dress hugged her curves, just enough to make her appear thinner, without being too tight. She couldn’t believe how the team had turned her into this. She glanced at the clock, having been given instructions to be ready at 7. As the time came, she made her way into the living room here he was waiting.

Nicolai

He wasn’t ready for her, had yet to slip back into his alter ego. No as she came out of the room, he felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. Some part of him knew he was playing with fire with her. He wanted to strip her down right now and put her in his bed, for hours. Instead, he had to go out, parade around as though they were engaged all the while wanting to make love to her.

He did his best to recover, but he knew she needed to be reassured. The confident and strong woman she had been yesterday, seemingly had disappeared and now this person was apprehensive, almost scared. She had been recreated and had no idea just how beautiful she was. He took a step in her direction, taking her hand in his.

“Megan you look beautiful.” He raised her hand to his mouth kissing her lightly.

“Thank you, not my usual attire obviously.” She glanced down at her dress, her ample bosom threatening to spill out of her dress.

There was a moment of silence before he pulled a box out of his jacket, opening it and handing the tiny object inside to her.

“We can’t forget the most important part of this.” There was something that shifted in the room as he slid the diamond on her left hand, ensuring the gossip would love to see the ring. He watched her stare at it for a moment before facing him again.

“It’s beautiful, even if it is fake.” She gave him an impish grin.

He swallowed hard, his fingers itching to rip her clothes off altogether and make love to her. She gave him a half smile and it was his undoing. He did his best to do it gently but instead his mouth crushed hers in a searing kiss, his mouth kissing her simply at first and then deeper, until he tasted of her honey depths. He was careful, not wanting to scare her but wanting her to know what he wanted in a single kiss. He felt her respond to him, even subconsciously. The kiss depends even more, both lost in a moment. Finally, there was a knock on the door and he ripped away from her slightly, his face mere inches from hers.

“We will finish this conversation later.”

Before she could recover, she felt herself being pulled behind him, pulled along until they were safely seated in the long car waiting for them. She settled into the plush seats and he sat across from her. He didn’t say anything; he could tell she was flustered still. He let his eyes roam all over her, his body betraying him more than he could ever remember. After a moment he let his thoughts drift to his plan. He had made the steps to assure that Roman would hear about this outing tonight, and would likely call him soon. He could only imagine the look on his face once he heard the news.

Even his mother had called saying that there was some buzz already about the “engagement between Roman and a mystery woman. Everything was right on schedule, and would time out perfectly, if he had his way. He looked over at her once more, she was obviously composed now. He would have to avoid her, especially now that she had kissed him back. It would do no good to complicate things, especially since Roman would likely show up soon. He felt a slight twinge of guilt in how he had lied to her, but it had been the only option. He just had to get through this blasted weekend and maybe he could go home, and get the situation, and her off his mind once and for all.

Megan

Something had shifted, had changed within her. She stared at her reflection in the mirror once more. The dinner party last night had been a success, everyone had greeted her with a smile and stared long and hard at the ring on her finger. Roman had been avoiding her since the party, and since the kiss. Even now she could still feel the pressure of his mouth on hers. She had kissed him back, it seeming like the most natural thing in the world. She blinked at her reflection, thinking about the way things had happened. He had kissed her because she was all decorated in the high fashion, they had draped her in. More than likely he had kissed her because they had to play a part, what better way to do that than to break the ice beforehand?

Either way, he wasn’t even talking to her now. She was left to her own defenses most of the day, thinking about this assignment and how nice it would be to go back to school. She flipped open the laptop in her room and started making a plan of everything she wanted to take, and how long the process would be. She missed him, truth be told. He had an easy smile and made her laugh when he was around. She held no fantasy about anything serious, she knew better than that, but she did like the way he would challenge her, and asked her opinion on things even if it went against his normal nature, which seemed to be all of the time.

As lunch was delivered she was surprised to see two settings, perhaps he was making an appearance today after all. She quickly changed into a simple yellow sundress and as she came back into the main room, she saw him there, in a suit and tie, everything about him perfect. He glanced up at her and then again, giving her a once over.

He smiled at her. “I thought maybe we could have lunch, and go over the dance tonight.”

“That’s fine.” She settled into her chair, waiting.

“It’s an important affair, lots of conglomerates and organizations will be there. We may have to answer a lot of questions, so I thought it best we get the story straight.”

She nodded and they enjoyed a simple lunch, both settling on a story of how they met, and how long. He jokingly told her the story of how his parents were betrothed at a young age and neither wanted the other until they met. She smiled as he spoke, enjoying the moments when he did let his guard down. Soon they found themselves practicing the dances they would enjoy together later. Laughing came easily to both of them as she did her best to step on all of his toes. Time passed, neither of them ready to stop the fun they were having.

As it got later she found herself wondering who Roman would marry one day. She felt something then, something stir within her. She had no right to even care really, but part of her was concerned about him. She made her way to the room to dress for the event. Tonight she wore a simple cream colored dress, with lace and inlays. She loved how the color complimented her skin and she styled her hair in a way to give her an air of mystery. As she let the room to meet him she saw him once more in a tux, and perfect.

He paused as she made her way over to him and he gave her an elbow to escort her out of the rooms and into the night air. The ride this time was far more relaxed, both adjusting to the personality of the other. He handed her another black box this time long and slender.

“What is this?” She frowned as she opened it to a brilliant necklace with a string of diamonds that cascaded down her neckline.

“For you.” He gave her a smile.

“Ah, I see, must appear to be the good fiancé.” She gave him a wink. “I’ll take good care of them Roman no worries.”

They went into the gala, both enjoying the dancing, something she had always loved all of her life. He escorted her around the room, introducing her to everyone and everything was perfect. As they made their way home, she felt the effects of the bubbly champagne on her stomach, and she giggled. No, she was not herself tonight. She saw him watching her, silently, something he actually did quite often. As they made their way up to his rooms she felt his hand touch hers in the elevator, slipping in to interwine with hers. She felt the tension mount as they exited the elevator and made their way down the hall. Even then she was unprepared for what was to come when he opened the door.

Something between them shifted then, developing into something fuller, more aching. She felt the tempo of her heartbeat quicken as he ran his hand up to cup her face, his thumb tracing her full lower lip. She barely inhaled before she felt the hard fullness of his mouth on hers. He kissed her deeply, drinking of her. She felt his hand in her hair, winding and twisting until he held her mouth to his with a fist full of hair. She no longer cared about the what … she wanted him to kiss her, all she wanted was him.

“I’m going to make love to you Megan. Here. Now.” He whispered against her mouth. She nodded and he let her go. Only long enough to lead her to his bedroom, and carefully start to undress her, never letting his mouth leave hers for a moment.

He moved slowly, his hands moving around to cup both of her full breasts in his hands. She felt them harden to attention as he moved the hardened nubs between his forefinger and thumb. She gasped loudly as he pulled on them both gently. He kissed her mouth once more, his tongue delving into the sweetness of her mouth. He stopped then, trailing warm kisses back down her body, until he focused his hot mouth on first one crested peak and then the other. Instinctively she put her hands in his hair urging him on as he left a trail of fire with his mouth.

Her body was on fire. Her hands pulling his head up and back to her waiting mouth. He did as she asked and gave her a passionate kiss, drinking from her mouth. She wanted this, wanted him. She knew she was playing with fire, but she couldn’t stop it.

She followed his lead, lifting her hips slightly as he slid his fingers under the tiny strap of her panties, pulling them off her in one swoop. She loved the feel of his hands as they ran over her, and she never once felt self-conscious about her body. Suddenly he was standing above her looking down. She felt more vulnerable than ever before.

“Megan you are beautiful.”

She blushed, slightly frowning.

“I mean it. Look at me.” She looked deep into his eyes before reaching up for him and his mouth found hers again.

He moved above her then, she felt the pressure of him there, between her thighs and she welcomed it. He shed his clothing quickly and she moved to accommodate him eagerly. The joining of their bodies rushed through her like a tidal wave.

He felt the heat of her envelop him and he stopped, waiting and feeling her. She was full of him, he moved delicately until he was fully encased within her. Pushing her knew back closer to her head, pushing in further still. There was and urgency between them, a need to cling to one another. He moved slowly, savoring every second of it, and she was lost in it, just as he.

“Megan.” He managed to grit out her name as he moved within her.

He moved faster and faster then, finding a rhythm that suited them both. She wrapped her legs around him, urging him on, pulling him into her, helping him along the way, towards a goal for them both.

She looked at him now as he moved and he never broke stride once as he laid his chest against hers and kissed her deeply. She moaned loudly, driving him more and he his pace became quicker, more demanding. Both unwilling to let go of what they felt they had moved frantically exploring and enjoying the other. She was lost in a swirling of color and heat. She felt the familiar stirrings deep down and her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him. She moved her hands up to his face holding him close to hers as he pushed her higher and higher. She felt her climax begin deep down, her moans escaping her mouth. She was staring into his eyes, both of them finding release. She moaned his name as it ripped through her and she felt it shoot through even her fingers and toes. She sighed his name after they both lay there.

They lay that way for a long time, both feeling and thinking. He trailed his fingers over the curve of her hip as she lay there. Neither of them wanting to move. She drifted off to sleep at some point, a combination of champagne and his touch

Nicolai

He felt so many things at once, he wasn’t sure where to begin from. First, he had sworn off her, but she had been so beautiful, so happy. He had wanted her with a passion he had never felt. What’s worse is he wanted her to be fulfilled, and content. He cared about her, more than he wanted to admit to himself. Secondly, she had called him by his brother’s name, thankfully after it was over or it may have ruined the lovemaking entirely. She wasn’t just some person he hired, no she was more than that and he should have told her the truth.

She deserved it, deserved more than this. He looked down at her, still curled up next to him. She had changed him, made him better in a matter of days. He had never lost control of anything and yet here he was with a woman curled up in his bed, something he never did. What’s worse is that he wanted her there, liked her there. She ran a finger down over her face as he watched her sleep. What was he going to do when the time was over, how could he let her go now?

Sleep came eventually for him, and he never felt better the next morning. As she slept, he made coffee, waiting for her to come join him. He wasn’t sure what would happen, but he would tell her truth today, before anything happened to change her mind about him. He glanced at his watch and decided to run over to the other office to get some paperwork, so that he could show her everything. He smiled as he left.

Megan

She felt him slide into bed with her, slipping an arm under her body and pulling her closer to him. She smiled to herself as she reflected sleepily, but the night before. She should have gone to her own room, but instead she had stayed here with him. She felt the heat of him against her, and she curled up into him. As she did, she felt his hands slide up her hips and rest there.

“You are a curvy one aren’t you?” He whispered against her ear.

Her eyes fluttered open and she frowned. Something wasn’t right, not at all. She felt his grip tighten as he held her there when she tried to move. Panic set in as she couldn’t move, her breath coming in shallow gasps. Eventually he laughed and let her go, watching her scramble to stand beside the bed, taking a sheet with her.

“Roman?” He wasn’t himself, not even a little. There was something different about him, his eyes a little more sinister, with his gaze leering at her.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am Roman. What game are you playing with my brother lady, and what the hell are you getting out of it?”

As the day went on Megan piled her things into her car and wasn’t able to relax until she was far from the hotel for good. It wasn’t until she was on the highway that she let the tears fall, her heart in pieces. Roman… or Nicolai had lied to her, had made her believe something, and then played with her emotions… and her body. She left right after Romans explanation, right after her heart had shattered. She didn’t want the money anymore, didn’t want anything but to go home where she belonged.

She climbed the stairs to her apartment and sighed as she fell onto her bed finally. Nothing could take away from what they had, but she would have to work hard to forget all about him if she ever wanted to move on. She fell back into her routine, calling work and getting herself back on schedule at the diner. The routine fell into place and after three days she finally was able to go to bed without crying at night.

She glanced around the diner, taking in the two customers left to care for before her shift ended at 11pm. The door chimed letting in another one and she made her way over to take his order. She never even looked at him until he didn’t respond. He looked up at her, and she felt ice, pour over her. She spun around to leave, but he followed her.

“Megan. Please. Just let me explain.” He grabbed her hand in his stopping her.

“You don’t have to explain Nicolai, Roman filled me in on what you were up to.”

“I’m sure he did, but I also know he didn’t tell you everything. Just give me five minutes.”

She looked at him, obviously hurting and she relented. They sat in a booth and he told her everything. She waited, watching him as he spoke, missing his touch more and more with every word.

“I’m sorry Megan, for everything that led up to making love to you. That I’m not sorry for.”

He gave her a once over, and then glanced around the room. “You don’t belong here anymore, Megan, I never gave you the money and the necklace was for you. Not for the part you were playing, but from me to you. Why didn’t you care enough to let me explain?”

She felt anger rise up, though she tried not to let it show. “I left because I woke up to feeling your brother groping me. He pretended to be you. Then he told me everything. What was I supposed to do?”

“Son of a…” He grabbed her hand pulling her behind him.

“Where are we going?” She felt herself being pulled outside and into his car.

“First, we are going to get back to my rooms, where I will then proceed to kill my asinine brother for touching you. Then we are going to have some people go pack your stuff away from that shabby place you live that terrified even me. He pulled the ring she had once worn and slipped it back on her finger.

“Wait, I am not playing the game anymore. It’s over Nicolai, Roman won’t stand for it. I did my best, but just take me home.” She glanced out the window, wiping furiously at the tears that seemed to slip from her eyes despite her efforts to hold them at bay.

He moved to sit next to her, holding her hand in his as he pushed the ring back up. “I don’t want to play a game Megan. I want you to marry me. I want to love you and I want to be with you.” He whispered it and stared into her eyes as he spoke the words.

“Really?” She let the tears fall freely now.

“I swore to never get married, but you have changed me Megan, and after I came back and you were gone I almost lost my mind I was so scared. I even had to contact the agency that hired you to get your personal address.”

She giggled then, and smiled as he kissed her deeply.

“I love you Megan.”

“I love you too Roman… err, well”

He pulled her close. “Not funny young lady, not funny at all.” But he said it with a smile.

*****THE END*****

SEALED BY DESIRE

CHAPTER 1

Blake

When I stormed out of the office, I was still livid at my commanding officers. I knew that I had left in a rush of anger and emotions, but they probably expected that.

They wanted me to get some therapy. Therapy? Me? I was a Navy Seal and was taught to handle situations on my own. I didn’t ask for help. Working was everything to me, and it was bad enough that I was home in Maryland now due to an atrocious mess that happened back in Afghanistan. Sure, it was great to take my bike around on rides here and there, but I had been home for two weeks now. I was starting to get restless.

I found the shiny Harley in the parking lot and started the engine with a roar before I veered out into the street.

The accident still played through my mind. Accident wasn’t even the proper word. We were out in a small village over there in Afghanistan looking for a missing soldier and practicing the same safe techniques that we always did. It was supposed to be quick and thorough and quite honestly, something we did a lot.

I loved being a Seal. I knew back in Senior year in high school that I wanted to join the military and get out there. I wanted to derive my country as the other men in my family had done and do it well, just as they had. I chose the Navy with the hopes that I would be selected to train as a Seal, and I was just after I finished boot camp.

That was ten years ago, and I had never looked back, even though I was thrown off a little. Just a little and not needing therapy like they suggested back there. Fucking therapy. That was for really crazy people, and I had never made a move like that in my life. I lived very methodically, and all of my training was always in my mind, and I lived my life by all of those rules since joining the Navy. Hell, even before that I had a plan for my life watching my grandfather work his way through twenty years as well as my father in the Navy.

I remembered my mother accepting that is what her husband chose, and she did a great job raising me. I also knew that she was lonely a lot despite having my brother and me around, as well as visiting with other military wives on the various bases that we lived on over the years. I had made a pact that I wouldn’t do that to a woman, that I would just focus on my job and the chaos that I would be surrounded by. There wasn’t room for a wife and a family in my life plan. I spent the night with a girl every so often to get my growing needs met and feel the warmth of a body, but they never stuck after the evening was over. They barely stayed the night most of the time.

I saw one of the most popular bars that the guys frequented and pulled into the lot to park by the door. I needed some bourbon to clear my head so I could argue with my bosses tomorrow and not be angry and uncommunicative as I had been today. It might be a good night to find a woman and work out some of my frustrations on her. That would do the trick.

I remembered the incident as I started to walk through the thick door. We were in the middle of our search around the village when suddenly I saw movement up ahead, and shots were fired. I dropped to the ground while preparing my gun to shoot back and watched as several others joined me behind the small hill and did the same.

It was a mess of gunfire and voices as we responded to the attack and ended up killing off the group of men that had opened fire first. Once it was all said and done, we stood up and took a good look around. First, we made sure that all threats seemed to be down, and then I trudged around to see who didn’t get up with us to do the same.

I found seven men down and checked pulses as I moved along. It killed me as I had to do this but my training told me to keep calm and pay attention to my surroundings.

The newest guy on our team was first, just a young twenty-year-old. His head was blown open, and I choked down my anger as I looked at him and contained it within my body.

The others helped me, and I heard someone call my name as I left one of the older men dead on the ground of a gunshot to the chest. “Brandon?”

“Yeah?” I asked as I glanced over to see my Lieutenant Commander James looking at me with an intense gaze and I frowned.

“Come over here.” His voice was sad as he spoke and I took a substantial step forward. I knew that I hadn’t heard Roger’s voice in this madness, and I prayed silently for my best friend to be alive. If anything, I wanted my best friend since grade school to be one of the ones that didn’t make it.

I found myself at the bar as I blinked and was forced back into the present. I slid into the nearest barstool and rested my hands on the smooth wood as I took a deep breath, “What can I get for you?” Matt asked me with a grin as I stared back at him. He was well-known by all of us, but I couldn’t make myself smile back.

“The best bourbon you have,” I said as he raised an eyebrow and nodded. “I’m on a break, man. I’m not working today.”

“Coming right up.” He turned and got a thick glass and reached up to get the nearly full bottle on the shelf as I became lost in my thoughts again.

We had all come back from the mission immediately, though I didn’t remember most of the last two weeks since I saw Roger’s broken body on the ground. I was home recovering from the mild bumps and bruises that I had received and the loss of Roger as well as the other men on my team. We spent so much time together that they were all like family to me. My commanding officers were looking into the details of the attack and giving us all a breather, but that also meant that I had a series of funerals to attend.

They were all awful, but Roger’s would be forever in my mind. I could still see his parents weeping in the front row with his two younger brothers and older sister staring stoically at the pristine white coffin with the flag covering it. A picture of him looked at all of us mourning his loss as I felt tears slide down my cheeks. My parents sat beside me as Mom wept and Dad comforted her with his arm around her tightly while I sat still and silent.

His wife sat across the row from his family with her three kids as she clutched a tissue in her hands. Her parents were sitting with all of them for support, the kind I should be giving her instead of hiding in this row like a stranger I glanced at her for a moment as she bent her head forward to cry harder. I didn’t need to see her swollen stomach to be reminded that their newest daughter would never meet her father now. His wife would be raising her alone along with her other children, apart from any help from her family, as well as Roger’s. It just would never be her Dad.

I would never have a family that way, one that I might only ultimately abandon in my job. I couldn’t live with the idea.

I slammed down the drink and took a deep breath as I signaled for another. Matt gave me a long look but brought the bottle over to refill my glass. I liked a man that sensed my need, and I drank that one back as well.

The words of my mentor Michael rang through my ears as I let the alcohol slide down my throat. He had always assured me to do the job the way that I knew I could and that bad things would happen along the way. Losing him five years ago in his mission had hit me hard but his words filled me with strength, and I just hoped that they could now.