She frowns. “I’m not really sure what to say to all of that.”

I’m kind of surprised that she hasn’t run off screaming. Most would. Adults, in general, stop believing and therefore are less willing to acknowledge that I’m real. Even if they feel wonder and joy in my presence they still deny me.

She rubs her forehead, like it’s hurting. Maybe it is.

“I didn’t fall, did I? This isn’t a brain injury or a hallucination?”

“No. This is very real.”

She nods. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

She gets up and begins pacing. The color is returning to her pale face, which makes me feel better.

“Okay. So, you’re Santa or whatever?”

I nod.

“Married to Mrs. Claus?”

“We were never married. Just together for a long time.”

“And you live…”

“At the North Pole,” I finish.

“So, not local then.” She shakes her head. “And because some magic level is low you can’t see me anymore?”

I nod. “Otherwise I won’t be able to deliver toys on Christmas Eve.”

“Of course.”

“Is there anything else you would like to ask?”

Might as well get it all out now.

She nods. “I have a ton of questions, but it sounds like you’re running out of time.”

“I am.”

“You mentioned I’m on the Naughty List. Can’t you tell how I ended up there? It’s your list, after all.”

She’s really taking this quite well.

I reply, “When a person stops believing in me I lose the ability to see why they are on a certain list.”

“Then why does it matter?”

“Because I would like you to come with me to the North Pole. Tonight. And that can’t happen while you’re on the Naughty List.”

* * *

I sit on the couch again. Am I being pranked? I’m still not sure. He’s pulling this off without a hint of laughter and there’s something in his eyes that makes me think he’s telling the truth.

“Well, I could be on the Naughty List for several reasons. I’m guessing it’s because of Jingle Belles. Not exactly a wholesome job, now is it?”

Nick shakes his head. “No, it’s not the job.”

“I like to go barhopping and let men buy me drinks with no intention of hanging around to talk to them.”

His lips twitch. “Still not a reason to land on the list.”

My stomach churns. I have a fairly good idea what put me on the Naughty List, but am I ready to tell him?

He touches my arm. “Candy, I promise it will be okay, whatever it is.”

“You asked when we met in person how I came to work at Jingle Belles.”

“I remember.”

I inhale and say, “Well, I think the events leading up to my career change is what put me on the Naughty List. I used to work at a hospital. One of my patients accused me of taking his pain pills and everything just kind of spun out of control from there.”

I cringe as I say the words. I loved being a nurse – absolutely loved it. But when the patient accused me of taking his medicine my supervisor didn’t stand up for me, instead she reported me to the nursing board. And then the rumors started. I was a druggie. I was sleeping with patients for drugs. I was sleeping with other employees for drugs.

I couldn’t even walk down the hallways without hearing whispers. When I was called into the HR office I knew what was coming. I felt numb as they said the dreaded words. I was fired. And then the nursing board finished their review on me – I was officially on probation. Of course no one would hire me with such a tainted record.

Had I taken the patient’s pain pills? No. Did it matter? No. It was his word over mine.

Nick touches my hand and I jump.

“I’m sorry that happened.”

I shrug. “I couldn’t get a job, so I started running around with a group of people who did nothing but party.”

And we partied hard. Drugs. Sex. Anything debauched.

I was falling down a dark hole when I randomly met Vixen at a club. She took one look at me and asked me what in the fuck I was doing. It was like someone threw cold water over my head. From that moment on I worked on bettering myself.

Some might look at Jingle Belles and ask how I can degrade myself like that. I see it quite differently. Working at Jingle Belles is empowering and freeing. Because of that job, I actually found myself.