Cannon is still in the office when I sneak out to head home. I want to beat him there, because I feel like I need time. Time to steel myself for what's about to happen.

I knew this would happen eventually. It was inevitable. We were getting so close over the last couple of weeks, and then the last few times we've had sex, now that I'm ovulating, it feels... different. More intense. Too intense. I told myself that I knew Cannon would want to break it off. He'd sense how I was feeling, know that I'd broken our NSA plan.

But knowing something intellectually is one thing. Hearing him say “we need to talk” in that tone, right after Chris and Lacy's ill-advised ambush, was quite another. It turned my insides into knots, and made me feel sick for the rest of the afternoon.

It's better this way, I tell my reflection in the mirror. I'll get over this eventually. Time heals all wounds. I just have to get through tonight, then it will all be okay.

The hard part, of course, is actually getting through the next few hours. I wipe my cheeks again, check my eyes. They're a little red around the edges, but not puffy. I managed not to cry, despite the hormones surging through my body, urging me to break down. I'm not going to do that, not yet. I'm going to stay strong through this conversation. And later tonight, after it's all said and done, after Cannon inevitably tells me we can't keep doing this anymore, then, and only then, will I let myself cry. Alone, locked in the bathroom, the way I should have the day I came home from the clinic in a panic.

If I'd done that, maybe none of this would have ever happened. Maybe Cannon would never have found out why I was upset, maybe I never would have cottoned onto this harebrained idea of asking him to help me. Maybe I'd still be living here blissfully unaware of how fucking perfect my roommate would be—in bed, on date nights, everywhere. Maybe I could have just gone on in ignorance of how compatible me and Cannon are for the rest of my life.

And yet.

Despite everything. Despite how I already sense tonight will end things... I don't regret any of it. I don't regret getting to know this hidden side of Cannon. I don't regret our time together, even if it has to come to an end. It was worth it to realize that I could feel this way about somebody. That I'm capable of more than just casual flings or hookups. I could actually see myself falling in love with somebody. With Cannon. Even if he doesn't reciprocate those feelings, I can't bring myself to wish I never discovered them.

The elevator dings, the up button illuminating. My nerves jangle right along with it, simultaneously making me feel nauseous with anticipation and thrilled with excitement at the prospect of seeing him. I guess my body hasn't quite gotten the memo that my brain has, about what tonight will mean for us. My stupid heart still thinks that things will go the same as always—that he'll sweep in here and kiss me, lift me off my feet and carry me into the bedroom to fuck me senseless.

I step into the living room just as the elevator doors open to reveal Cannon, in the same suit he wore to work today, now slightly rumpled around the collar from a long day of tugging at it in the way that he always does, yanking on the collar when he's distracted by some work problem he's thinking through in his head. I wonder what's been distracting him today.

Probably trying to figure out the most diplomatic way to break up with me.

Ha. Break up? He can't break up with me; we haven't even been dating. It hits me all over again how ridiculous this whole thing is, just as Cannon strides across the apartment toward me.

I don't know what I expected, but it's not this. It's not for him to grab me by both arms and pull me toward him. Our lips collide, and he's kissing me with an urgent hunger that I've never seen from him before. The kiss takes my breath away, sends my stomach flying around my ears, as though I've just gone over the top of a particularly steep roller coaster. When we break apart, we're both breathless, eyes glazed.

"I'm sorry," Cannon starts in right away, and I brace myself for it. Here it comes. "Rina, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I just... I've been thinking all day—for the last few days, weeks, really, and I..." He shakes his head, grimaces.

I want to embrace him, tell him it's all right. I've never seen him look this upset, this agitated. But I hold myself back, because I know that won't help right now. I know what he has to say.

"I just... I can't do this anymore," he breathes. He opens his mouth to say more, to carry on, but I lift a finger to his lips and stop him right there.

"It's okay, Cannon." My heart is breaking; it feels like my chest is going to explode, and my nerves are going to set me on fire from the inside out. But I owe him this much. This was my mistake, not his. "Cannon, I understand why you can't do this anymore. I'm sorry, I know it was too much to ask. The sex, the baby, and now I'm sure you've realized what happened, that I can't do this stupid NSA thing, because I started to feel for you, so I get it. We're done, don't worry."

But as I speed through that speech, the one I carefully rehearsed all day, so that I'd be able to say it to his face without breaking down in tears, Cannon's expression shifts.

His eyebrows shoot up, his lips parts, and by the time I finish, he's staring at me like I'm an alien who just spouted a second head. "What are you talking about, Rina?" he blurts.

My brows contract. "You said you don't want to do this anymore. I'm just saying that I understand..."

"No, Rina, no. I can't do this, meaning this bullshit No Strings Attached crap—I can't do that, because I don't want that anymore. Rina..." He reaches for my hands. Cups them gently, then runs his hands up my arms to grip my shoulders, holding me upright. Which is a good thing, because I've started to sway in place, thrown by this roller coaster of emotions. "I want you," he says.

Now it's my turn to look comically surprised, I'm sure. "What?" I manage.

But Cannon is stepping closer, running a hand through my hair, his eyes fixed on mine, and there's a sea of depth in those eyes of his that I've never seen before—a depth of feeling I never could have seen coming. Looking into his eyes, I can feel my pulse race and my heart skip a beat. "I don't know exactly when it happened," he's saying. "I tried not to. I tried to stick to what we agreed. But I couldn't help it, Rina. Being with you... It's not like any other girl I've ever been with. I fell in love with you, Rina."

"Cannon," I breathe.

"I love you, Rina. It's more than just the sex—it's everything. The way you chase what you want, no matter the obstacles—like trying for a baby even when you have to do it like this. And the way you always beat me at darts, and the way you're so damn confident in bed, which by the way, is sexy as hell too." He tightens his grip on my arms. But I can't tear my gaze from his face. My eyes brim with tears, but not the kind of tears I expected I would be shedding tonight.

Instead, they're happy tears. More than happy. Borderline blissful.

"I love everything about you. I love making you smile, I love exchanging those secretive glances with you in the office. Hell, I even love the way you plotted to set up Chris and Lacy." He half-laughs. "You're so selfless, you always put your friends first, and me, and I just..." He grimaces a little bit, now. "I understand if you're angry. I broke the rules we agreed to."

I burst into laughter, then unable to help myself. "Cannon, stop." I hold his eyes, smiling. "I broke them too. You're right. We're so goddamn compatible—and I didn't even see it, I had no idea, until we started doing this thing, and then I realized... Shit. I can't do No Strings Attached. I don't want that either. I love you, too. I want all the strings, dammit."

With a grin, he pulls me forward into another long, slow kiss. This time, the desperation is gone, replaced by something softer, sweeter. I part my lips, let his tongue slip past mine to explore my mouth, and I wrap my arms around his neck, losing myself in this embrace.

But then another thought occurs to me. I draw back slightly, just enough that we both sigh at parting. But I rest my forehead against his and force myself to hold his eye for another long moment. "Cannon, listen... Are you sure about this? Wait, hear me out," I add, when he inhales a breath to reply immediately. "Because there's a chance that you could have gotten me pregnant. After all, we've been trying, and this time, I'm right on cycle, so..." I shake my head a little, still holding his face to mine. "I mean, dating is one thing. But a baby? That's a whole other level of commitment. I understand if it's too much for you right now. I get if you want something simpler, with someone simpler."

"Don't," he says. His finger brushes along my lips, tracing them. "Don't say another word, Rina. I told you—I know what I want now. It took me time to see it, and even longer to understand what it was I was feeling, but I want you. I want you, baby and all." He slides his hand down my chest, down the center of my breasts, until his fingertip comes to rest on my stomach. He flattens his palm against my stomach, and I smile a little, leaning toward him.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" I ask finally, tilting my head as I consider him.

He half-laughs, shaking his head. "I didn't feel like I could tell you, because we'd agreed to that stupid NSA thing. I thought that was what you wanted. Just a sperm donor, nothing more, no emotions attached. I figured if I told you my feelings, you would be freaked out and want to back away from the whole thing. After all, it wasn't what we agreed on. And you kept asking me to keep things quiet at work, so I figured you were still on the same page."

I can't help it. I laugh again, shaking my head in sync with him. "God, we're such idiots." I smile at him, sheepish. "I was doing the same thing. I didn't say anything, because I thought it would freak you out—you agreed to fuck me and impregnate me, not get into some... relationship with me. I figured if I told you, you'd want out as soon as possible, and I couldn't imagine going on without you—"

"Neither can I, Rina. I can't picture my life without you in it. Hell." He gestures around us, and we both take in our apartment for a second. Our apartment that, for years now, has felt like a home to both of us. I guess I just never realized why it felt so homey. I never knew that it was Cannon and his friendship that kept me going through so much crap over the years. "You're already such a huge part of my life. It only makes sense that we fit so well together."

"Who knew we'd been staring at the right person all along, every day?" I laugh, and he grins, cupping my cheek in one hand to pull me into a deep kiss.

"You know," he murmurs against my mouth. "We were doing the exact same thing as Chris and Lacy."

I snort and rest my forehead against his shoulder. "God. We totally were. Both of us feeling for one another but neither one being willing to admit it first, because we thought the other didn't want the same thing..."

He grins and tilts my chin up toward his. "I'm glad we finally got over ourselves," he whispers. "Because this... This feels much better now, knowing we're both on the same page."

This time, the kiss shifts. His hands run down my sides to my top, and I mirror him, running my hands along the hem of the work shirt he's wearing. Before long, we're peeling the clothes off one another, our hands hungry, moving over every inch of each other's bodies. I tilt my head to grant him better access, and he takes it, his tongue twining with mine as his hands wrestle my shirt off, then my skirt. He tugs my bra down my arms and tosses it aside, and from the corner of my eye, I see it land on the lampshade on the far side of the room. It reminds me all over again of the bra I found discarded by one of his one-night stands, and I have to smile at the way everything has come full circle. Back then, I never would have imagined hooking up with Cannon. I figured he only ever was the way he was with those girls in relationships—he never was going to want more.

Who knew he would? And who knew he'd want it with me, the same way I do with him?

We don't make it to the bedroom. By the time I'm unzipping his pants and pushing them down his legs, Cannon has that impatient, hungry expression in his eye. He sweeps me off my feet, swings me straight onto the couch, where he falls on top of me, his perfectly chiseled abs on perfect display as he leans back for a moment and hooks both thumbs through my panties. He eases them off me, and I arch my hips up to let him pull them the rest of the way off.

But once he tosses them aside, he keeps my hips in the air. Spreads my legs and kneels between them, leaning down to lick and bite and nibble his way up my inner thighs. I gasp when he reaches the sensitive skin right where my leg meets my hip bone, but he just bites down harder, hard enough to leave a mark, and to make me gasp and squirm.

But I love it. I love knowing that I'll wake up tomorrow morning with his marks on my skin, marks of how much he wants me.

I reach for his shoulders, trace my hands over his pecs, his abs. I dig my nails in a little, just hard enough that I'll leave marks of my own, and my grin widens when he groans in appreciation, eyes glazing over with desire. Then, before I can react, he flips my legs over his shoulders. Balances me in front of him, my hips around his shoulders and my back arched up to meet him. At this angle, my pussy is positioned directly in front of his mouth, and he takes full advantage of that fact. He licks each of my lips, from the outside in, tonguing me so my whole pussy gets wetter than I already am from his touches.

"God you taste so fucking good, Rina," he murmurs.

Then he starts to slide the very tip of his tongue along my slit. He works his way from back to front, all the way up to my clit, which he presses on gently with that dexterous tongue of his for an instant before he goes back to licking between my lips. Finally, after what feels like a maddeningly long time, he pushes the tip of his tongue between my folds, into my pussy.

I groan and arch against him. He just keeps going, spearing his tongue deeper and deeper, until he curls it to circle along each of my inner walls in turn. Finally, he flattens out his tongue and starts to thrust in and out of me, all the while cupping my ass with his hands to hold my pussy against his face.

The view, I have to say, makes this even sexier, as I watch him eagerly, hungrily eat me out. I reach down to run my hands through his hair, gripping tighter every time he glides that tongue over a particularly sensitive spot. But whenever I start to buck, rising toward a peak, he slows down, grinning, and those dark eyes of his where they catch mine say not yet.

He takes his time. Enjoys taunting and teasing me, working me up to a frenzy and then slowing down to leave me aching with desire.

Finally, I can't take it anymore. "Cannon, I need to come."

He chuckles faintly against my pussy, and the vibration makes me twist against him again, gasping. "Ask nicely," he says, before returning to licking my pussy in slow strokes.

"Please," I gasp. "Please, make me come."

"Beg me," he whispers, and his hot breath on my soaked pussy makes me even hotter, more desperate to get what I want.

"Please, Cannon. I need to come." My breath comes faster, as he starts to lick me a little faster, a little harder. But the moment I stop speaking, he stops again, and I groan through my gritted teeth in sheer frustration. "Please. Cannon. Make. Me. Fucking. Come."

He smirks, and starts to lick again, faster this time, his tongue pressing harder against my clit every time he slides it out of me.

"I love the way your tongue feels," I gasp, knowing that I need to keep talking to make him finish me. "I love feeling you eating me out, watching your face as you go down me..."

He flicks his tongue harder, faster. It gets harder to talk, as my breath starts to come in gasps.

"I... fuck... I can't... even think... when you... do that," I finish with a sigh as he finally flattens his tongue into a blade and starts to lick my clit directly, over and over, hard and fast.

"Fuck," I pant, rising quickly toward the climax. "God, right there, Cannon..." My voice rises to a shout as I finish, and the orgasm hits me with the force of a tsunami. It washes through my body, through every single nerve ending, and I feel like I'm on fire. My vision flicks in and out for a moment, and my head falls back against the couch, my body shaking, my pussy twitching and convulsing as Cannon draws back to watch me.

When I open my eyes again, I find him gazing down at me with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "I fucking love making you do that," he murmurs. He slides my legs off his shoulders and lies down alongside me, grinning. "I love knowing the effect I have on you."

"What, driving me crazy?" I lift my eyebrows, grin, and lean in to kiss him. I savor the taste of myself on his mouth. It gives me an idea. "Something like this?" I ask, levering myself up onto one elbow. Then, without waiting for a response, I begin to kiss my way down his chest. Over his pecs, his abs, toward the perfect V-cut of his groin.

"Hmm. Maybe something like that," he murmurs in the back of his throat, and the sound makes me grin wickedly up at him, even as I push up to my feet. I extend a hand, and he accepts it, and I drag him up off the couch.

"Stand against the door," I say, and grab a pillow from the couch at the same time.

"You'll have to ask nicely," he replies, one eyebrow lifted as he watches me saunter over to grab the pillow and walk back. "Otherwise I'm liable to get ideas of my own. Ideas like grabbing you and dragging you into that bedroom right now..."

I tsk, shaking my head, and plant a finger over his lips to quiet him. "My turn first. Don't get greedy."

His eyes flash, and for a moment I think he's going to ignore me and drag me into the bedroom anyway. But finally, he shakes his head with a sigh and leans back against the door, doing what I asked. "What am I going to do with you, Rina? So naughty."

"I'm sure you'll think of something..." I comment as I position the pillow in front of him, then drop to my knees.

I do the same thing he did to me. I take my time, licking and biting at his inner thighs before I even reach up to pull his cock out of his boxers.

When he springs free, I sigh all over again in appreciation. He truly has a perfect dick. I trace it with both hands, lightly, barely even grazing him with my fingertips as I take my time, sliding my head between his legs to lick and suck at his balls. I suck one into my mouth at a time, rolling it along my tongue, then slide over to the next to repeat the motion.

"Fuck, Rina," he murmurs. "You have such a talented dirty mouth..."

All the while, I keep stroking him, tightening my grip with each stroke, until I'm finally actually gripping his cock between my hands.

"That's right. Take my cock into your mouth, Rina," he groans.

I press my lips to his spongy tip, feeling and tasting the drops of precum that have already gathered there, savoring this hint of his flavor. I slowly let him pierce my mouth, pushing him deeper inch by inch. I feel his hands slide into my hair and tighten, and I grin around him as I keep going. By now, I've learned that I can take him all the way into my throat—a feat that I have to admit I'm proud of. I never knew I could do that before.

There are a lot of things I never knew I could do before I met Cannon.

"Fuck yes," he moans.

When the tip of his cock touches the back of my throat, I suck in a deep breath and relax my jaw, continue pressing forward until I feel him slide past my resistance. I groan a little as he slides into my throat, and he does, his groan deep and guttural, makes my belly tighten with want. Because I want to hear him groan like that again. I want to make him lose control the same way I did.

I pull back, and start to rock back and forth in front of him, on my knees, sliding his cock in and out of my mouth. All the while, I work his balls with my hands, tugging them gently away from his body until he moans again.

"Keep up this teasing," he murmurs, his voice half-joking, half-serious, "And I won't be to blame for what I do to you afterward..."

I grin up at him, my mouth curling around his cock. I hope he can read what the expression in my eyes says right now. I hope that's a promise.

He grins down at me, and tightens his fists in my hair, starting to move my head back and forth according to his pace, beginning to resume control.

I let him, rocking back and forth in front of him, breathing in his scent and swirling my tongue along the underside of his cock with every stroke. But then his hands still, and he tries to stop me. I mewl in protest and tighten my lips around him, trying to keep moving.

"Do that," he says through gritted teeth, "and I won't be able to try to put a baby in you tonight."

I pause, halfway through sliding his cock back between my lips again. I glance up at him, eyebrows rising.

"You still want a baby, don't you? And we still don't know if you're pregnant, but you're ovulating now, so..." He lifts an eyebrow.

I can't help it. Much as I want to continue tormenting him right now, I see his point. I release his cock, pull back to laugh faintly. "I didn't know you still wanted to..."

"To try? Rina." He reaches down to cup my chin in one hand. Using that, he gently draws me back to my feet until I'm standing in front of him, his thick, erect cock between us. When he pulls me in to kiss him, his cock presses against my stomach, still wet from my mouth. "I told you," he says when we break apart again, just a breath apart, "I want all of this. I want you, I want you to achieve what you want, and... I want this baby too. I want to make a baby." He rests a hand on my stomach. "With you."

I swallow hard. Part of me is still convinced this must be some kind of fever dream. Tomorrow I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal. But if it's not, if this really is happening... Then hell. I'm going to make the most of it.

I curl my fingers through his where they rest on my stomach. "Okay," I murmur. "If you're sure you still want this, Cannon, then do it." I lift my chin and grin up at him. "Put a baby in me."