Chapter Six
Over the next few weeks, Claudia came to know Archer pretty well. Beneath the fake arrogance, and kinky taste in the bedroom, Archer was actually a very laid back guy. He had a very inappropriate sense of humor at times, but he always managed to make her crack up. He was cultured, well read, and even though he practiced law, unlike a lot of lawyers, he actually did his best to get justice for his clients.
He was very charismatic and very persuasive which was why he managed to get to the top so quickly. He could probably convince you to sell your house without blinking if you weren’t comfortable. Claudia enjoyed talking to him, and sparring with him about many topics including music, movies and books.
Claudia had discovered a deep love for the classics with Elizabeth Taylor, Cary Grant, etc., and Archer was quite happy that he was able to introduce her to that whereas Claudia introduced him to the world of Jazz, and the likes of Miles Davis, and Nat King Cole. He was very reluctant at first, but soon, he began to seek them out on his own, and they’d listen together.
The only thing they couldn’t seem to agree on was books. Archer had a taste for the latest thrillers or horror stories. Claudia had a bit of a wider net considering she read anything she felt like reading, and it didn’t depend on the genre. It was a topic of endless debate for them, and one she very much enjoyed.
Her life in that mansion with Archer felt like it was suspended in time, away from everything that her real life had to offer. Sometimes, she wasn’t sure it was all real until she woke up in bed in the morning and rolled over on her side. Most times, she would find Archer there, sleeping next to her peacefully. Sometimes, he’d leave for work early, and she wouldn’t find him next to her, but she always enjoyed watching him sleep whenever she saw him next to her. He looked so peaceful, and she felt this unfamiliar and unexpected rush go through her whenever she watched him sleep.
She realized that she was beginning to care for Archer which was problematic to say that least. She told herself that she couldn’t get attached to him because the whole arrangement was about sex, but if she was being honest with herself, it had more to do with her past, and the reason she kept running away. She didn’t want to hurt him. That’s what scared her most of all. If she hurt him now right as she was starting to care for him, she’d never forgive herself.
She couldn’t seem to help herself though. The more time she spent with him, the more she began to feel her feelings grow. She tried not to get attached to him. She tried to stay away until night came, and she figured she could just go through the motions like she heard a lot of women do, but the second he touched her, her common sense went right out the window.
She discovered that Archer was right. She did quite enjoy a lot of things that fell under the category of BDSM. They had experimented a lot, and she found that she quite enjoyed light bondage, the many soft and hard materials he let trail over her body, kinky role-play, and a lot of other things that made her flush the second she began thinking about them.
She didn’t know how she had avoided it for so long, but she knew the reasons why. She wondered if Archer would think differently of her if he knew. She hoped he wouldn’t, not that she ever planned on telling him, but still. Sometimes, she pictured telling him, but what good would that do?
She knew Archer was fond of her, but she doubted that what he felt for her was as deep as what she felt for him. So, telling him wouldn’t do either of them any good. It would just create awkwardness and false expectations. Claudia headed towards the phone and hesitated.
She hadn’t called her sister in years, but she decided she had time on her hands before Archer came back, so she dialed the number and waited for her sister to pick up. Her sister sounded shocked to hear from her at first given that they hadn’t spoken in years except for the occasional letter.
A pregnant silence filled the space between them. “How’s Jenny?”
“She’s getting better, the money you sent covered all her expenses, and then some. How did you manage it?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got more if you need more.”
“No, no, I don’t. I know that Jenny would love to see her aunt though especially since she’s one of the main reasons she’s alive today.”
Claudia shut her eyes. “Lizzy, we talked about this already.”
Elizabeth sighed on the other end of the phone. “You talked, and I disagreed. I still don’t understand your decision to quit your job and all but drop off the face of the Earth. Bad things happen, Clo. You can’t blame yourself for them.”
“I do though. When mum got cancer, I couldn’t bear to see her in so much pain, so I was barely there when she began getting worse, and by the time I realized what I was doing it was too late. Dad followed her soon after, and for the longest time, I couldn’t look you in the eye.”
“I know.”
“Then Jacob, I—God, Lizzy. I couldn’t save him. I tried so hard to save him, but I couldn’t, and I began to think that I was being punished for not helping out with mum. Surely, that was it. I mean cancer had already taken away one person that I love, so it seemed like it was coming for the first guy I ever loved too.”
“Clo, you can’t blame yourself for how that turned out. It’s not karma. It’s just what was meant to happen.”
“What about you, Lizzy? When you got cancer too, I freaked, and I ran. I wanted to get as far away from it as possible, and I thought that if I stayed away, it would help. I called to check on you, sent money whenever I could, but I just couldn’t see you.”
“I know you did, Clo. I understand why. I was mad at you for so long, but I get why you did, but I’m better now, really. It’s in remission. I’ve been cancer free for years.”
“What about poor, Jenny?” Claudia whispered, afraid to voice her fear.
“We caught it early, Clo. That money you sent really did help save her life. Hopefully, this means she’s cancer free, and she won’t have to go through that.”
“I’m glad, Lizzy. I really am. I know it can’t even begin to make up for me running away from you, but I hope it’s a good start.”
“I think it could be.” She heard the smile in Elizabeth’s voice, and they chatted for another minute before Claudia hung up.
She felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she stared out the window.
“I’m really sorry, Claudia.”
***
She wheeled around, and saw Archer standing there, pain, sadness and concern etched onto his features as he gazed at her solemnly.
“How long have you been standing there?” She angrily wiped away the tears.
“Since the start of the phone call. I was looking for you to ask if you wanted to go for a walk or something then I heard your conversation, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have.” Claudia defiantly crossed her arms over chest and met his gaze squarely.
“I know I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry about that, but I’m even sorrier that you had to go through so much loss, but Claudia you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Claudia felt a spike of anger. “Don’t you dare. You don’t get to comment on my life, or what happened in it. I don’t want your sympathy, keep it.”
“It’s not sympathy, Claudia.” Archer strode towards her, and took her hand in his. “It’s called compassion. What happened to them isn’t on you. Yeah, you shouldn’t have run, but sometimes, when we’re hurt, or angry, we tend to lash out or run away from the things that matter to us the most.”
“And you think you’re some kind of expert on this?” She angrily snatched her hands away and turned her back on him.
She heard him sigh deeply. “I’m not an expert no, but I’ve also run away from the people that I loved. I thought they couldn’t accept me as I am, the kind of things I was into, and I ran. By the time, I realized that they actually did love me just as I am, they had already moved on.”
“I’m sorry.”
She felt Archer come to stand behind her, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay to make mistakes, Claudia. It doesn’t make you weak, or a horrible person. It makes you human, and mistakes are the only way we learn. You need to forgive yourself, and do better, Claudia. It’s okay to do that.”
“It’s not that simple, Archer.” She melted into his touch and reached for his hand. He let his fingers intertwine with hers. “I let my parents down. I let Jacob down. I wasn’t strong enough to be there for them when the cancer came, and then when Jacob got it, I freaked out. I started to believe that I was the reason they were getting it. I was the common factor after all, so I thought I was being punished for something that I did.”
Archer moved her hair back and laid his head on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Claudia. It’s time to let go now. The hardest part is forgiving yourself, but you can do it. I’ll help you do it.”
He said the last words with such infinite tenderness that Claudia felt something inside of her unlock and melt into a puddle on the ground. She turned in his arms, searched his eyes and pressed her lips to his. She allowed herself to stay there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of his arms resting on her shoulder, nestling her in a cocoon of warmth.
She pulled back, took his hand and led him up the stairs, down the hallway and to the bathtub in his bedroom. She wordlessly switched on the water, and as they waited for it to fill the tub, she slowly stripped, making sure to keep eye contact with him the entire time. He began to follow her lead till they were both facing each other buck naked.
Claudia slowly walked towards him and lifted his hands up, so they rested on her shoulders. She kissed him deeply and began to bite down on his lip. Once he opened his mouth to let her in, Claudia began to move backward pulling him towards her as they stepped into the water causing some of it to slosh over the side.
Archer opened his legs, and Claudia climbed in between them till they were pressed up against each other with not an inch of space between them. He let his fingers travel down till he reached her center, and he began to rub her furiously. She came a minute later, her quiet moaning filling the spacious bathroom.
He buried his head in her breasts and began to nuzzle them as Claudia pressed him closer. Her hand reached down and guided him into her, so he filled her up. Archer stilled for a moment before he lifted his eyes to hers and gave her a sweet kiss.
He began to move slowly inside of her as Claudia rode him up and down maintaining eye contact the whole time. The sound of their bodies moving against each other was like music to both their ears. Archer began to suck and bite on her breasts until Claudia tossed her head back and wrapped her arms around his shoulder.
Her fingers began to dig into his back leaving marks that she was sure would be visible in the morning, but in the moment, she didn’t care. All that mattered was the two of them caught in their own bubble, oblivious to anything that existed outside the bathroom, and the way their bodies moved in sync.
“Should I move faster?” she panted.
He brought his hands around her ass and squeezed hard. “Yes.”
She nodded and began to lift herself up slowly then sit back down. She did it slowly at first, but then faster and faster till she set a pace where they were both pulling each other closer and moaning alongside each other.
“Oh, God, Archer I –”
He pressed his finger to her lips. “Shhh, it’s okay. Me too. I love how you feel pressed against me like this while I’m buried deep inside you, feeling every inch of your delicious pussy.”
“I think I’m close.”
Archer sank his teeth into her neck and brought his hand up to the front to rub her while he was inside of her. She sucked in a harsh breath as she felt her orgasm building it up to a crescendo. “Come on, baby.”
He began to play with her breasts until they felt like pebbles. He lowered his lips to the nipple and murmured. “Come for me, babe.”
He sank his teeth into her nipples, and with that Claudia went tumbling over the edge, her entire body spasming in pleasure as her own orgasm pushed Archer over the edge. He grunted as he came, and they both sat there, breathing heavily, and their bodies shining with sweat.
Archer slowly pulled out of her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He scooped her into his arms, and they sat there for a while, letting the water slosh all over them, the only sounds being heard was that of their quiet breathing, and two hearts that were slowly opening up to each other. Archer pulled back and began to scoop up the water and place it over her.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m washing you. Shhh, just close your eyes and relax.”
Claudia eyed him skeptically for a moment before she closed her eyes and leaned into him. She felt him shift, and next thing she knew, he was running a loofah all over her body, gently scrubbing every inch of skin he could find. She tingled at his touch, and she sighed in contentment as he began to wash her off after that. He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently massaged her hair while he washed it.
When he was finished, Claudia’s eyes flew open, and she turned around to face him as she began to do the same to him. She made sure to kiss every inch of skin available as she washed him all the while feeling her heart ache at the tender look on his face.
She didn’t dare let herself hope.
When she was done, she took his hand in hers and gently placed a kiss on it, letting her lips linger a second too long. He responded by doing the same, the emotion between them unspoken.
She leaned forward and placed her head in the crook of his shoulder and breathed deeply as his arm came up around her. “Archer, what’s going to happen now?”
He kissed her shoulder. “I don’t know, Claudia. I’ve never been here before.”
She swallowed as she gazed up at him. “Me neither.”
They lapsed into silence once more. “I’m not afraid with you, Archer. You make me feel safe. I know you said there’s a darkness inside of you, but there’s a darkness inside of me too. Everyone has both light and dark. It’s important to find the people who can accept both.”
Archer kissed the top of her head. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Claudia wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed deeply letting his scent washing over her, and allowing herself a brief moment where she could actually enjoy being with a man without worrying.
She knew there were always risks in her life, but losing her mum, and then the first guy she ever loved had made her cautious in a way that almost hardened her heart. She didn’t like that it had done that to her, but she knew that at the time, it was what she needed to do to survive. She shouldn’t have taken things so far, for so long. She definitely shouldn’t have run away when Elizabeth got sick, but the second she felt that ugly monster rear its head at her, she felt her flight instinct kick in, and without thinking twice, she bolted.
She traveled to the end of the world to forget about the life she left behind, wanting nothing more than to shed her old life like one would shed old skin, but she knew she couldn’t do that anymore than you could change your DNA. The only thing she could do is forget, make life changes that were so far from where anyone ever thought she could be, and follow through it. The most important thing was maintaining a healthy amount of distance between herself and anybody she could get too close to. She didn’t think she could bear to go through that kind of pain, so she simply took herself out.
The memory of her parents, and Jacob ached too much, in places she never even knew she could ache, so she stood there, watching, and waiting for something. A sign that that she could lay down her armor and drink.
Being in Archer’s arms right now with him trailing meaningless patterns up and down her arms, this was the closest she’d come to ever feeling safe in such a long time. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this much peace, that much hope probably since she was little, but it all came rushing back.
She wasn’t sure what that meant for them especially given the nature of their relationship. She wasn’t under any illusions, and she wasn’t looking for false pretenses. However, somewhere in her heart of hearts, she wondered if maybe he could feel more than affection for her. She already knew that he was fond of her. That much was obvious, especially given how tender he was today.
There was something in the way he held her right now, lightly, and softly as if he were afraid she would break.
“Archer?”
“Hmm?” He was drawing patterns on her back in the water causing her entire body to shiver in delight.
“Should we get out of the water? It’s starting to get cold.”