“Never forget who you are.”

“I will forget and I’m nothing like you. I will live my life with integrity. With honesty. What you’ve done has destroyed everything.”

“You belong to me. Nothing will ever change the truth!” he exclaimed as he walked closer, wrapping his hands around…

Zach shifted, moaning as light filtered into the room. The dream had been so real. Gripping the light blanket, he wiped sweat from his brow and realized his entire body was clammy, the sheet soaked. Swallowing, he threw back the thin material and sat up, his head swimming, bile cresting in his throat. The bottle of gin was coming back to haunt him.

Stumbling to the bathroom, he gripped the edge of the sink, glaring at his wretched reflection. A few blotches remained from the car wreck, but his empty eyes drew him in, reminding him that he’d lost himself in lies and violence. He’d slept in his jeans and dear God, he looked like death warmed over. Issuing a long sigh, he started to turn on the water when his stomach lurched, forcing him to his knees.

As he hung over the toilet bowl, he could hear Mitchell’s voice, the words of condemnation as he handed Zach the picture. No, the words had been laced with utter disappointment. Well, take a number.

He vomited until he began to dry heave then curled on the cool tile, staring up at the ceiling. What he knew and what he’d been told were two entirely different things. He couldn’t retrace many of the steps, but the secret would be revealed at some point given the perpetrator’s vehemence.

Maybe he should allow the man to kill him. At least the years of torment would end. He lay still, curled on his side, a quiet settling into his system. He was a marked man. A few seconds later, he burst into laughter and struggled to get to his feet. He looked like shit. He felt like shit.

His life was absolute shit.

Splashing cool water in his face, he struggled to walk to the kitchen, managing to make a pot of coffee. He certainly had nowhere to go, including a job, and nothing to worry about.

Just your life. Just your sanity.

Madness…

He laughed again and stood with his arms folded over his naked chest. Pathetic. The word filtered through his mind. As the coffee began brewing, the strong smell sent another jolt of nausea into his stomach. The acid of the coffee might just do him in.

He glared at the picture Mitchell had given him, fingering the creases, the lines that had been ingrained in the folded photograph. He could barely stand looking at the group of men, the way they smiled for the camera as if life was fucking fantastic. They’d had the world by the balls, destroying anything and anyone getting in the way. Hissing, he pushed the picture to the side. What Mitchell actually knew was little of nothing, but his friend would continue to pry, find out answers that he hadn’t wanted anyone to learn. Then again, he no longer knew what to believe.

Jerking a glass from the cabinet, he decided on a Bloody Mary instead. What did they call this? Hair of the dog? After adding ice, he poured two shots of vodka, then a third before jerking the juice from the refrigerator. As he mixed the drink, he thought about the warning Cassandra had issued. They concept coincided with what little he remembered.

As well as his dreams. Vivid. Horrible. Fucking. Dreams.

The first gulp went down easily, the second left his head spinning. By the fourth, he was feeling much better. He walked back into the bedroom, determined to take a shower and face the day. Then he stopped, staring at the closet. He hadn’t bothered getting the box down from the top shelf since he’d moved into the house. There’d been no need. Now? No sense in the asshole having the single advantage.

Easing the drink onto the dresser, he turned on the light and tipped his head. The nasty olive-green metal box was exactly where he’d left it. He pulled it down and rubbing his hand across the thick dust covering the top. As he placed the storage bin onto the bed, he remembered the very last time he’d viewed the contents. A cold shiver shifted down the back of his legs. He was no longer that man. Or was he?

Opening the box, he studied the Glock 9mm, fingering the cold steel. This was his favorite piece, the others he’d used paling in comparison. He pulled the gun into his hand, enjoying the weight, the feel of the metal and the grip. Eyeing the box of ammo, he checked then loaded the clip, snapping the Glock back into place.

The gun would do just the right amount of damage as necessary. He left everything on the bed and walked toward the bathroom just as he heard a knock on his front door. Grabbing the gun and placing it just underneath his belt, he padded toward the door, looking through the small peep hole. Relief as well as concern rushed through him. Then he remembered that she’d been on a date. An odd sensation rushed into his system, creating a single vision. Cassandra was tied to the past. But how?

“Zach. Wow. You look… terrible,” Cassandra finally said as she tried to smile, her eyes darting back and forth, her face pensive. “Did something happen?”

“You bet. A huge bottle of gin, some tonic and I think three limes.” He left the door open and turned around, remembering his drink. She certainly didn’t need to see him like this.

“A gun? Why? Were you threatened again?”

“Just a matter of time. A man has to be protected. I thought you’d be waking up in the arms of that new guy.” He regretted the snarky remark the moment he mumbled the words. “That was shitty of me.”

“Yeah, it was.” She narrowed her eyes and closed the door. “Are you talking about last night, at the bar?” As she walked closer, she held a frown.

“Honestly, I had a feeling both men had a thing for you.” He stormed into the bedroom, grabbing his drink.

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Zach, especially since you’ve told me more than once that you don’t want me to hang around.”

The words hit exactly where he needed them. He inched closer, inhaling her amazing perfume, the scent more than invigorating. He reached out then clutched his fist, pulling away. “I’m an asshole and I’m sorry.”

Huffing, she shook her head and hesitated then rubbed her hand through his disheveled hair. “Don’t do this, Zach. I work with both men and quite honestly, could never be interested, however… They are very interested in Rush.”

“Really? Do you have a sense of why?” He could tell her mind was reeling.

“Honestly, no. They had some very pointed questions, but I couldn’t tell them much of anything. My gut tells me there’s more behind their connection with New Horizons.”

He contemplated the idea. “Maybe. It’s good business for one thing. Rush doesn’t mind paying for quality.”

“What about for blood?”

The words hung in the air.

“Whatever you think you know, leave it,” he stated, his concerns increasing.

“And you know I can’t do that. I don’t know why or how, but I’m guessing you do.” She cocked her head as if waiting for a direct answer.

Zach didn’t have one to give. “I wish I did.” Taking her hand into his, he fingered her palm.

“Why are you drinking at nine-thirty in the morning?”

“Seemed like a good thing to do. Not often you’re suspended from your job and been told you’re going to die in the same day.”

Cassandra grimaced. “What are you talking about suspended from your job? Rush? Did Mitchell take you to the club merely to give you the news? I don’t know much about the man, but that surprises me. Besides, he’s your friend.”

He took a sip of his drink then kissed her forehead. “Mitchell has every reason to be concerned. Rush Enterprises has experienced a difficult year. Any additional scandal and it could ruin us.”

“Scandal? What are you hiding?”

“I just…” Exhaling, he closed his eyes. If only he could confide in her.

“You mean add whatever it is you’re hiding to the list of what you aren’t going to tell me. Right?”

Laughing, the sound nervous, he kissed her hand before letting go. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Maybe I need one of those Bloody Marys.” She followed him into the kitchen. “You promised me a ride. Remember?”

Nodding, he eased the glass onto the counter and studied her face. “I’m glad you came. I shouldn’t want you here, but I can’t stay away from you. You’re right about hiding. I’ve been doing nothing but that for years, running away from the past. Now, I know I was wrong.”

“Talk to me,” she whispered, her voice full of angst. “I can’t comprehend entirely what’s happening between us, but we can’t deny that we’ve been pushed together for a reason.”

“A damning reason,” he said under his breath and gripped the counter. “There are some things you need to hear, aspects I hope you can understand.”

Her eyes darted back and forth, her smile pinched. “You’re right. I need to hear them. We must be honest with each other. There’s danger all around us, Zach, and whether you embrace the spiritual side of you or not, I do.” Her voice was almost shrill.

Zach held his breath. “I no longer have a choice about accepting the visions. They are with me, feeding away at my soul.”

“Then you have to let me help you.”

Honesty. She certainly deserved no less. Could she help, or would he be the reason for her death? “Let me grab a quick shower, then let’s take a ride. There’s a little area that allows me solitude.” As if he could ever regain moments of peace.

“I’d like that.”

Zach slid the gun down onto the counter, fingering the barrel. He’d use it if necessary, especially to protect her. He groaned as he peeled off his jeans then turned on the shower. His entire body ached, and he had no idea why. He peered at his reflection again before stepping into the shower. If only things could change, if he could go back to years before, becoming the hero he’d always thought he was.

There was no more time for regurgitation of the past or any level of remorse. He’d take the time to find out who continued to haunt him and deal with the asshole once and for all, something he should have done the moment the motherfucker came into his life. Certain aspects of his life were starting to make sense. The odd phone calls starting almost six months before. The single picture sent weeks ago, then the group of them. The perpetrator wanted clear and direct torment. Fuck him. Fuck all of them.

Was this a watcher, someone who was contemplating blackmail or something else? He had his suspicions, but he certainly wouldn’t be able to confirm unless confronted. And he would be. There was no doubt. Just a matter of time.

The water was hot, steam filtering into the small space. He stood under the showerhead, watching the way the water flowed into the drain. Contemplating the future had limitations. Contemplating his life with Cassandra was a beautiful dream, but after she heard what he had to say, there was no way she’d stay with him. How could she?

He grabbed the soap, allowing his mind to shift to the damning life before, and shivered the entire time.

“What are you doing here?” Zach demanded as he glared at the intruder.

“I came to take what’s mine.” The answer was calculated, said with a lurid tone.

“Get out or I’ll kick you out!”

“I don’t think so. You forget who you are. You forget your place.”

“My place is right here, protecting my family from assholes like you.” Zach held his ground, clenching his fists, ready to take a swing.

The laugh was laced with evil. “I don’t think so. You know what I can do. What I will do. Now, get out of the way or things are going to become difficult.”

Zach swam his way up from the nightmare, his chest heaving as he tried to breathe. Difficult. Everything had been ruined on that very cold, winter day. Everything in his life, ruined. From that day forward, he was forever changed. He scrubbed his skin as if to wash away the ugliness, the dirt and damnation he’d created. He would never be clean again.

He shook away the memory as he dried off and threw on a pair of fresh jeans and a shirt. At least the monster from his past would never come back again. Of that, he’d made certain. He grabbed his socks and boots, taking them into the kitchen.

Cassandra was nowhere to be seen.

Panic rushed into every cell, giving him an intense wall of fear. “Cassandra?” There was no answer, no sound. He could see the coffee cup on the counter, half the liquid still inside. Panting, he raced back to grab his gun, shoving it under his waistband then stalked toward the front door, throwing it open. Her car was still outside. Think. The fucker knew where he lived. What a fool to allow her to be here.

Had someone seen Cassandra’s arrival, abducting her while he was in the shower? Anger furrowed into his muscles until his chest was tight. He struggled into his boots and raced outside, searching the grounds. There was no sight of her. “Cassandra!” The call seemed to echo, bouncing off the tree line. He listened as the wind whistled, creating an eerie sound. Still, nothing.

Where could she have gone? He turned in a full circle then checked the front of the house. Nothing. No sign of her. Dear God. Not again. I can’t…

Whhhaaa…

The single noise drew his attention. One of his horses was whinnying, the sound filled with joy. He headed toward the corral and couldn’t help but smile. If only things could be different. As he walked into the barn, petting his prized Thoroughbred, he stood watching her, a brush in her hand, a look of utter awe on her face. The beautiful Andalusian seemed to be basking in her attention, his head bobbing up and down as she continued brushing his coat, using her other hand to touch and caress. He could tell she was whispering to him, no doubt her words soothing.

Zach walked closer, but remained quiet. The joy in watching her savor the moment, the lilt of her voice, her soft words almost in a song, was priceless. He swelled with pride and something else, an unexpected emotion. Love. He couldn’t imagine life without her.

“His name is Luther,” Zach said quietly as he leaned against the wall, folding his arms. He’d worked so hard to create the perfect world, filled with his beloved horses. His money had afforded him anything he’d ever dreamed of owning and today, at this very moment, very little mattered.

“Luther. A name fit for a king, eh, baby?” she cooed as she pressed her face against his neck.

Whhhaaa!

Luther snorted and kicked one hoof, scratching the dirt floor.

She kissed his nose and sighed before swiveling in his direction. “They are magnificent creatures. So beautiful.”

“Yes, you are.”

Blushing, she turned her attention back to the horse, brushing with gentle strokes. “I’ve only been on a horse twice and both times were… Let’s just say I didn’t win any points with either horse. They were both ready to toss me to kingdom come.”

He inched closer until he could see the way her skin was glistening, her mouth pursing as she continued making cooing sounds. “Luther finds you particularly amazing, just like his owner does.”

She darted a smile. “He’s just trying to win me over. Aren’t you, big fella?”

Luther eased his head in her direction.

“Well, he knows you’re very special to me. I kinda told him I’d take away his supply of apples if he wasn’t nice to you.”

The comment made her laugh, her eyes twinkling. “I have a feeling Luther can fend for himself. Can’t you, baby?”

Luther snorted his answer.

“See?” she whispered as Zach placed his hand on her back. She shivered and licked her lips.

“Luther has very good tastes. Then again, I think I do too.” Taking her into his arms, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into the heat of his body. She fell against him, molding her body into his. He allowed the kiss to remain gentle, a sweet reminder that there was so much desire between them, but there was also adoration.

Cassandra eased her arms around his neck, her fingers intertwining with his hair. She moaned into the kiss until he filled her mouth with his tongue.

Arching her back, he wanted the intimacy, the intense longing to last forever. Their tongues moved back and forth, moving together as he eased his hand down, cupping and squeezing her ass. The taste of her was sinful, sweet as well as scintillating and he contemplated taking her right here.

When she broke the kiss, she exhaled and placed her hand on his chest, kneading him through his shirt. “I like being here.”

“I like you being here. I’ve never wanted another woman in my space, my house. This is special to me, the only place I can truly be myself.” The words came easily, whispered as if she was always meant to be here.

“I’m glad and thank you for sharing.”

Whinnying, Luther moved his head, dropping his nose in between them.

Zach groaned and gave Luther a look before caressing him on the nose. “I think my boy wants to take you out on a ride. Are you game?”

She bit her lip. “I’ll give it a try. Just don’t make fun of me.”

Smack!

Swatting her on the ass, he wagged his finger. “I’ll never make fun of you and you don’t have to worry. He’s a very good teacher. Let me saddle up the horses. Then I’ll grab some refreshments for the journey.”

“Journey. That sounds amazing.”

“You’ll understand.” He kissed her lips then squeezed her arm. “Never forget how much you mean to me.”

“I know,” she whispered.

He inched away, angst grabbing at his heart.

“Wait.” Cassandra grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “I found a picture on your counter. I wasn’t trying to pry. Who are those men?”

Did he hear a catch in her voice? He froze, half expecting her to launch into a heated conversation. “You weren’t prying. Mitchell handed me the picture last night. Long story but at least two of the men were involved with New Horizons from the early days. Mitchell couldn’t provide much information, but he believes there is a back story to the reason the development company wants to sell to Rush.”

“And you think he’s right.”

“The timing is too coincidental, but without any additional details, I’m just guessing at what and why.”

She nodded, her eyes darting back and forth. “I’ve seen another picture of one of the men from somewhere. I can’t remember when, but it was recent, and I swear to God, whoever this man is, he’s important. I feel it.”

“They’re all criminals and very bad men.” Unprepared to give her any additional details, he grabbed a saddle. Very bad men indeed.

* * *

Cassandra couldn’t help but watch as he saddled up the horses. She continued to try and figure out where she’d seen the gruff looking man, but at this point, her mind remained muddled. He wasn’t from a painting. She was certain of that. Rubbing her eyes, her head was aching, as if another vision was right around the corner. They’d left her exhausted, her mind unable to comprehend what she was seeing. Even the conversation with the Chief had left her shaken, uncertain of who he was warning her against. She’d decided that she’d allow the day to play out, and try and enjoy her time with Zach. Whatever was going to occur, she had a terrible feeling there was no way of stopping the inevitable.

Very bad men.

If what Chief Whitehorse said was true, both she and Zach would soon face horrific danger.

“I think we’re ready. Going to take you on some beautiful land.” Grinning, he held out Luther’s reins. “Mitchell helped me find this place. The man has a knack of locating the most pristine land in all of Texas. Pretty good nose for oil too.”

“You guys are good friends.”

“He’s seen me through a hell of a lot in my life, but he has had a difficult life himself. I would die for him.”

“For what it’s worth, I can tell Mitchell cares about you.” She could see such confusion in Zach’s eyes, soul searching as well as fear.

Zach nodded. “He’s a great man, an honest friend, but he’s pushy.”

“Pushy can also mean caring.”

“I suppose.”

She took the reins and looked into Luther’s eyes. “Be good to me, boy.” Leaning against his nose, she rubbed between his eyes, brushing the tips of her fingers up and down as she hummed.

“You have that boy’s heart. I doubt I’m going to be able to ride him again. Let me help you up.”

His strong arms lifted her, helping her over the massive horse and she swallowed hard. “This is… terrifying.”

“The key is to stay loose. Ride with the horse, moving with him. He’ll be easy going for you.”

She heard his mischievous laughter as he climbed onto his horse, another beautiful specimen.

“This is my baby. Jackson has been with me from the beginning of my adventure in Texas.” Zach patted his horse.

“Jackson. Interesting name.”

He winked. “One day I might just tell you how he got his name. Let’s go.”

She followed his lead, allowing Luther to guide her out of the corral and onto a trail, heading for a patch of woods. The morning was beautiful, the sun a perfect gold, fluffy clouds and a clear view of the area surrounding them. “I could do this every day.”

“Then, why don’t you?” He grinned as he stayed by her side, walking as they headed for the trees.

Shrugging, she realized her knuckles were almost white. “The owner of this fine establishment is a total prick. Or so I hear.” When she saw the look on his face, she burst into laughter. “Teasing. Don’t spank me.”

“I just might have to,” he growled then gave her an admonishing look. “You’re one feisty troublemaker. That’s for certain. You need someone to discipline you every day.”

“That’s what you keep telling me.” When he winked, she offered a mischievous smile.

“And I mean it!” Zach grinned as he pressed his heel into Jackson’s side. “Let’s go a little faster. There’s somewhere I’d like to take you.”

“Okay. If you trust in my abilities.” She held her breath as he took off at a gallop. Leaning over, she patted Luther’s mane and whispered, “You and me, baby.”

Luther took off, galloping as he followed his master, his head held high.

She breathed in the air, more than enjoying the ride and after a few minutes, was no longer tense. The patch of trees was beautiful, almost unexpected given the flat terrain. As they entered the forest, the path became winding and Zach slowed his horse to a walk. She rode closer, until they were side by side. “This is gorgeous.”

“The land actually connects to Mitchell’s,” Zach stated as he pointed to the left. “His house is about five miles that way.” He grinned as he looked in her direction. “But he’s not a nosy neighbor by any stretch of the imagination.”

“Boys club. That’s what it reminds me of,” she said without inflection and looked up at the trees. “This is very similar to where I lived for most of my life.”

“Where is that? If you don’t mind me asking.”

She hesitated and wasn’t certain why. “Colorado. I moved here a year ago to start a new life, create a world of my own.”

“Did you find the world you anticipated?”

The question had been in her mind for some time. “Maybe. I realized something important after moving here. I don’t need things and never wanted to be rich, but I do want to be happy. That is, if I can.”

He nodded as they rode for a few seconds. “What does happy mean to you?”

“Finding a soul mate, a man I can truly be myself with. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am in business, but what do I have to come home to at the end of every day? An empty house and my paintings.”

“Your paintings are beautiful.”

She gave him a half smile. “But I’m not painting them for recreation. I can only paint when I’m guided into doing them and I never know what to expect when I’m finished. They mean nothing to me but fuel for nightmares.”

“How long have you experienced these visions?” Zach asked, a lilt in his voice.

“As long as I can remember, but I pushed away my gift for years, doing everything I could to shut down my abilities. I haven’t been able to do that lately.” She shivered at the thought. “You have them. Don’t you?”

Zach shrugged. “On and off since I was a little boy, but I was like you and pushed them away. Mine are usually seconds of images that fade until I no longer remember.”

“I wish I could remember them. Perhaps I could help solve some mysteries,” she whispered, accepting the truth. If only she could remember.

“And the discipline?” He shot her a look.

She exhaled and leaned forward, rubbing Luther’s neck. If she wanted him to open up, she was going to have to lead the way. “I think I’ve always appreciated a strong man, but I had no idea what I was looking for.”

Zach remained quiet.

“I was involved with a man for almost three years. He was wonderful and so attentive. We met by accident and hit it off. He was an engineer, a quiet and very reserved man. I was so young, very inexperienced in almost every aspect of a relationship, let alone anything having to do with kinky sex. Michael was older and taught me so much about how to become a woman, indulging in my fantasies. We were only friends at first, talking about desires and he helped me understand aspects of Domination and submission, punishment. I was fascinated, and our discussions became so open. He shared everything about his experiences. Then one night, he took me to his home for dinner.”

Zach looked in her direction. “And?”

“We’d been intimate, but very vanilla up to that point. He had a feeling I was a submissive and explained what his true desires were, which at the time, I thought insane and very kinky. Still, he was so kind and loving, allowing me to understand what his needs had become that I was more than interested in learning, sharing with him.”

“He was a dominant?”

“Yes, but I honestly think he was a sadist. I didn’t know this at first because he never acted that way around me. He was doting, adoring and showered me with gifts. He introduced me to discipline after a few months and I was enthralled.” Cassandra laughed as she kept her gaze pointed ahead. “He was a very good punisher.”

“Interesting choice of words.”

“Well, meaning once I knew what he wanted from me, he expected, no he demanded that I succumb and obey every command. Or the punishment would be much worse. I’d work a long day but was expected to come to his house or his office for my almost daily round of discipline. I began to think this was normal, but as I was advancing in my career, I couldn’t make every day happen. When I became disobedient, he’d get so angry with me. I used to think his bouts of anger were more about jealousy than anything else. Then he changed, becoming even more demanding and I gave in to keep the peace. I sacrificed friendships and even a promotion to be with him, to follow his rules.”

“That’s not a sadist. That’s a monster,” Zach whispered as he pointed toward the clearing. “Being a sadist is about enjoying the infliction of pain, but not in the manner you describe.”

“Are you a sadist?” she asked, unsure of hearing the answer.

Zach’s face pinched and he hesitated before answering. “I’ve always been dominant. Always, and yet, I enjoy the concept of being in total control, inflicting pain and pleasure as methods of my desire for domination, but I’ve never wanted to harm anyone I’ve spent time with. I enjoy the act.”

“But you need more.”

“Yeah. We both do,” he whispered. “Come. We can relax and talk.”

She nodded as her thoughts drifted to Michael. She hadn’t wanted to think about him during her time with Zach, but memories of the relationship and the horrid ending rushed into her mind. As he guided the horses through the line of trees and onto a grassy knoll, she opened her mouth and whistled. “This is gorgeous.”

“Respite away from the rest of the world. The day Mitchell showed the property to me, I put a down payment on the house. I knew this was a place I could call home. I haven’t been to this particular spot in at least two months. Work has been so busy and I just…”

“Never found the right reason?”

“Exactly,” he said as he nodded and slipped off the horse, allowing the reins to remain free. “They’ll be fine here.” His eyes never leaving her, he walked around Jackson and eased her off Luther, holding her waist as he gave her a single smile. “I also never wanted to share this with anyone else, including aspects of my past. You’ve changed me, Cassandra. I can’t imagine not having you in my life, which is why I’m scared to death. I can’t risk having you hurt because of me.”

She placed her finger over his lips. “Don’t. Not now. Let’s just enjoy the morning. Okay?”

He nodded as he grabbed a saddlebag. “I have some lemonade and a blanket. I want to hear more about this jerk.”

She patted Luther then walked closer to the small stream, the water flowing over a series of rocks. “I don’t think Michael ever intended to become a jerk. He was enthralled, so dominant that he had to have me and no matter what else I had in my life, he was supposed to be the center of attention. He was lost in his own fears of losing me. I didn’t understand how unraveled he’d become.”

Growling, he eased the blanket down onto the ground and stood by her side. “Domination isn’t about smothering anyone. It’s about allowing the submissive to grow, to find what is most important in their lives and to guide them along the way. I would never want to take away your identity. I would never try and compete with your career or your friends. They are what makes you the incredible woman you are. I learned that the hard way.”

She tilted her head, looking into his eyes. “You have so many demons inside of you. I wish you could trust me enough to let go.”

He grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb across her palm. “You have allowed me to be the man I always wanted to be more than you know. Just realize that I am flawed. Terribly flawed.” When his words died off, he tried to pull away.

She refused to let him. Wrapping her other hand around his wrist, she turned to face him. “I care about you so much. I know you might think my strong feelings are all about this spiritual tether we have, but there’s so much more. I want to know every inch of your mind, your body and your soul. Don’t be afraid. We’ve all done things that we aren’t proud of. We’ve all shared or experienced horrors. I know them well.”

Leaning down, he pressed his lips against her forehead. “You are very special.” When he swatted her on the ass, he pulled away, his eyes twinkling. “What happened with Michael?”

Dropping to her knees, she studied the stream, allowing the mesmerizing sound of the rippling water to soothe the nasty thoughts, the vivid images. “He became more and more demanding, his punishments harsher until there was nothing I could do that was right or obedient enough. He was angry all the time, checking up on me at work, even when I was sleeping. Call after call until I was losing my mind. Then he demanded I move in. I actually did. I was so stupid. I thought that when he knew I was coming home that it would help, but I was wrong, so very wrong.” Shivering, she closed her eyes, allowing the light breeze to waft across her nose. She could smell the scent of wild flowers and for a few seconds was relaxed, free of the remaining angst from the life before.

Zach eased down beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “He became more of a monster.”

“Yeah, he did, right before my eyes but I allowed it to happen. I became the slave, waiting for his approval for everything from my clothes to the people I could talk to on the phone or online. I lost everything that was dear to me and I just had no idea what I’d become. I had no one to pull me out because I’d boxed myself in. Not a single person knew how involved I was in the D/s world.”

“Then you found yourself again.” He made the statement, his voice soothing.

“I did. Took me almost eighteen months of daily beatings and being berated constantly. When he started drinking, I’d had enough. I packed my bags and left one night. I have no idea how I found the courage, but I knew the man would kill me one day during one of his rages.”

Taking her hand, he clenched and remained quiet.

Sighing, she tried to shove away the nasty memory. “I was free, although I had no idea how to fend for myself, but I managed a day at a time.”

“What did he do?”

“Michael was a mess after that. I never knew how much he depended on me, or at least on his ability to control me until I was gone. I blocked him from everything. I changed my phone number. I found a place to stay on the other side of town. I even found a new job.”

Squeezing her hand, he shuddered. “Did you ever learn what happened to him?”

She hesitated before answering and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears. “He killed himself.” The words hung in the air. “He couldn’t live without me. I was shocked, mortified that I’d been responsible for—”

“You weren’t responsible for his death.” Zach turned to face her, taking her other hand. “You cared for him and he took advantage of your love. That’s not normal in any book or any regard. You have to know that.” Taking the tip of his index finger, he wiped the tears as they began to fall.

The moment he slipped his tear laden finger into his mouth, she dropped her head, allowing herself to cry. “No one knows this. I never told a soul. The worst part is that he left everything to me. Everything. His money. His house and all his belongings. I didn’t want anything. I gave it all to charity, even the money from the sale of the house. I just didn’t want a thing to remind me of the horrible time.”

“Baby. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. You loved him, and you obeyed his sick needs. I’m not like that. I promise you.”

“But you enjoy the darkness, the sadistic kink.”

He nodded several times. “Yes, I do, but not like that. A woman I cared for introduced me to the lifestyle. She was older, a beautiful creature who enjoyed teaching. And what I learned created a desire unlike anything I’d ever known.”

“What happened to her?”

Zach chuckled. “Nothing dramatic. She left me. She grew bored with a young man who’d become far too devoted. I was devastated, lost in a vacuum for far too long, avoiding the needs that had been introduced. No relationship after that could compare. When I moved here, the cravings began, forcing me to accept who I was. What I am. I can no longer hide behind the vanilla laced curtain. There will be no white picket fences, no perfect relationship. I have no idea how to be that kind of man.”

The words were difficult to hear, but she had no doubt what kind of man he was. “Do you want this lifestyle, shared with someone like me? Discipline, submission?” The question was almost inaudible.

“Not with just any woman. With you and the answer is yes. You awakened the real man inside. You allow me to share my darkest needs, my almost angry desires without fear. You trust me.” He rubbed his hand across her face, a smile curling in the corner of his mouth.

“I do trust you and I’m falling in love with you.” The words slipped from her mouth and she was horrified that he’d pull away.

Instead, he exhaled and closed his eyes. “I’m already in love with you, lady. You are my life and I don’t know how to deal with this.”

She cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb back and forth. “Day at a time. That’s all we can do.”

Nodding, he opened his eyes, allowing his gaze to linger. “You trust me.”

“More than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Breaking the connection, he dropped his head into his hands. “Then I need to tell you details about my past and if after you hear what I have to say you need to leave, to never see me again, I’ll understand.”

“There’s nothing you can tell me that will push me away. Nothing.” Her whisper was almost inaudible, but she meant the promise.

Zach inhaled and looked up toward the sky. “Ten years ago, my life was different. My mother tried to protect me from a monster, a man who’d done everything in his willpower to destroy us. When the monster found us, hunting us down like dogs, I did the only thing I could do.”

She held her breath as he tilted his head until he could see her eyes and she his expression. “What did you do?”

Swallowing hard, his entire body began to shake. “I murdered my father in cold blood.”