Please Come Home for Christmas
I used to be a fan of Christmas.
I come from the small town of Blizzard, VA where Christmas is always white Christmas and the snow never leaves once it arrives. It’s a quaint old town in the middle of nowhere but I love it. It has so many good memories for me. I earned my college degree from Virginia State and came back here to open up a jewelry store because I couldn’t stand to be in the big city anymore. It reminded me too much of Callum. I’m Jessica Miles by the way. And although I’m only thirty-one I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime being an adult. Maybe it’s just me but sometimes it’s impossible to not feel overwhelmed for no apparent reason.
But that’s why I’m in Blizzard.
Because nothing in Blizzard is overwhelming and that’s liberating.
I guess you could say that I exist in a kind of a personal bubble; a fort no one can breach, a boundary no one can cross. Even if they tried they wouldn’t get anywhere because I won’t let them. All the doors that lead to me have been barricaded shut. Why, you ask? To tell you that story, would be to tell you everything that happened. Which is my intention here, but it’s not time for that story. Right now, it’s time for another. And somewhere along the way those two stories will come together, as most life-changing stories do.
As I was saying, I don’t allow anyone to get past that barrier, so imagine my surprise when one fateful day, I see him walking down a side street.
Callum Matheson.
He was there, and I wasn’t imagining things.
I knew I wasn’t making a mistake, because I knew it was him before he stopped and turned to look at me; I knew because of the way my heart stopped. I knew it was him when he barely smiled and seemed just as shocked to see me, as I was to see him. I knew it was him because even though he hadn’t formed that world-famous smile, I could see the beginnings of it. He was standing next to what used to be our favorite breakfast place.
But what was he doing here? The town of Blizzard had barely seen the sight of Callum since we broke up. He was supposed to be in New York, working for some ad firm as a copywriter. It was the only reason I could breathe while still living in this town. How could I continue to do so with him in such close proximity?
As he stepped onto the curb, his knee-length wool coat blew just a little and that same smile was there on his face once again, the one that used to melt away my fears as though they didn’t exist. Everything about him said perfect; from the blue-gray eyes that always seemed a shade lighter every time I gazed into them, to the wavy hair set in place by a healthy serving of hair product. Me, on the other hand, I must have looked hideous—my long brown hair was piled heavily on top of my head and I hadn’t even bothered to wear lipstick that morning because I was just too lazy. I mean, that’s the kind of moment you dread when you break up with someone; seeing them all flawless and happy while you’re nothing short of a mess. But maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on appearances. Aren’t people supposed to love you for you? When I fell in love with Callum he was a wiry kid with pimples. He wasn’t even the smartest or the most popular, in fact he was a bit of a nerd. But puberty hit and in high school, he changed.
Matheson became something of a legend because he could play the guitar and wear contacts. Women loved him. Which was great. And then, he started loving women. Which wasn’t that great. At the time, we weren’t dating, so it’s not as though he was cheating on me, but it still bothered me when I saw him with other girls in my school and some who I didn’t even know. I don’t quite know how he managed it. I guess he was experimenting at the time, and so was I, so we only dated casually this one time during sophomore year. I never told him this, but I lost my virginity to him. No matter who I was with, Callum never truly vacated my heart. Until we started dating again, in senior year, he was always there and I always felt envious of the girls he dated.
“Jess,” Callum said and all I could think, was how his voice was even more beautiful than him. He was standing right in front of me and I had no idea when that even happened. I had expected this moment, dreaded it, but it still seemed to have come without warning. I had speculated what I would say, prophesied how he would respond. But now my head was just blank. All I did was stare and that must have made me look like a crazy person. Fortunately, I was beyond caring. How could I worry about such trivial matters like the way I looked when all of this was happening? So close to Christmas nonetheless?
It was almost like a miracle. Now to figure out if it was a good one.
“Callum,” I said, when my heart finally remembered its beating rhythm.
He smiled properly this time, baring a set of perfect teeth. A dimple formed on the left side of his face and deepened as he continued to smile. “I was hoping I’d run into you.”
You were? “I mean,” he stammered, trying to get the words out. “I know this place is your favorite.” “Our favorite,” I corrected him. Did you say that out loud? What the hell is wrong with you! For a good ten minutes or so, we stood there looking at each other until he broke the trance by speaking first. “Can we go inside?” he asked. “That is, if you don’t mind. You still like coffee?”
I was still staring and needed to stop, so I forced myself to look at the café door. “Sure,” I said as my heart skipped yet another beat.