Still feeling unsettled when we got home that evening, I kissed Dylan goodbye at his flat and headed upstairs. Things only got worse when I walked into the kitchen and found Yvonne at the table doing budgets.

There weren’t many banks in our area, but Yvonne being Yvonne, had been to each one looking for the lowest interest, the best repayment structure and other financial necessities I had no idea about. I hadn’t said anything to her about my future, as there was no way I would voice my concerns. Not now. Not after so many interviews. But today she looked more excited than before, and my stomach twisted uncomfortably. I knew it was selfish, but I secretly wished for bad news.

I wasn’t ready to lose her. I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

“How did the meeting go today at the bank? This was the one with the lowest interest rates, right?”

“Yes. And it went great! I was approved for my loan.” She was smiling, and I hated myself a little that I wanted her to be looking a little more like I felt. Dismal.

As soon as she said it, there it was. Pain. Yvonne got her loan. What if she left before the school year was through?

I didn’t say anything as I took off my coat and set my bag down by the couch.

“There’s some chicken and rice on the stove,” she went on.

“I’m not really hungry,” I replied. Subdued, I went into my bedroom. I lay down on my bed and pressed my face into the pillow, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I picked up my phone, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like contacting Mam.

I didn’t know why.

Maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself.

I pulled her number and rubbed my finger over the call button. My throat tightened as I experimentally pressed ‘call’. It rang just once before I came to my senses and hit ‘end’. I threw my phone into the drawer on my bedside table and closed my eyes. A few minutes later my bedroom door opened. Yvonne stepped inside, her face a picture of concern.

“You feeling under the weather, Ev?”

I opened my eyes and shook my head. “Just tired.”

She came and sat next to me on the bed. Reaching out, she tucked some hair behind my ear. “You seem out of sorts.”

I bit my lip, feeling like a baby. I just wanted to cry and beg her not to go. I might look grown up, nearly an adult, but deep down I was still a little girl who needed her mammy. And Yvonne was the closest thing I had to a mother these days.

Tears sprang in my eyes, and I tried to push them back. It was no use. Yvonne saw them right away.

“Oh, Ev, what’s wrong?”

“Are you leaving?” I whispered past the tears.

She frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“The loan. You got approved, so you must be planning to go to New York soon.”

She stared at me for a second as understanding dawned, then vehemently shook her head. “Honey, no, the loan isn’t for New York. That’s what my savings are for. The loan is so I can buy us a second-hand car. I thought it’d be nice if we could take Mam out on day trips once a week. Plus, it’d be good to be able to drive to and from work without having to use the buses. I didn’t say anything because I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Embarrassment swallowed me whole. I felt so silly for jumping to conclusions. Yvonne studied me, her face sad. “I’d never plan to leave without telling you, Ev. You know I wouldn’t. The three-year plan is still in place. And I’ll make sure you’re well set up in your life before I go anywhere. If you aren’t, I’m liable to take you with me.”

I gave a watery laugh that was full of relief and she pulled me into her arms. “Love you,” she whispered and pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m not going to abandon you. Never, Ev. You hear me? You’re the best thing in my life, and my home will always be your home whenever you need it.”

I knew at that moment, that it wasn’t my mam I’d wanted to talk to a few moments ago. It was reassurance I needed. Hope. Home. And that home was Yvonne. I knew she wasn’t lying. I knew she’d never abandon me.”

I hugged her tight just as the doorbell rang. She wiped my tears away and got up to see who it was. A minute later Sam came into my room and flopped onto my bed. Yvonne returned and sat next to him.

“You been crying, Ev?” he asked, brow furrowed. I wasn’t the sort to have emotional outbursts. In fact, I rarely cried. I didn’t often have occasion for it.

“I took out a loan to buy a car, but Ev thought I wanted the money so I could move to New York early. It was a whole big mix-up,” Yvonne explained.

Sam poked me in the shoulder. “You silly billy. That’s not Vonny’s style.”

“That’s what I said,” Yvonne added and I thought she looked a little emotional herself. I knew she was feeling guilty that she hadn’t told me about the car.

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” I sniffed.

“It’s not your fault. Now that I think about it, your conclusion was the obvious one,” Yvonne replied and pulled me in for another hug. Sam joined in, because that was who he was, and we sat like that for a minute together.

“Well, do you know what I think? I think we should order Dominoes. Pizza makes everyone feel better,” Sam suggested cheekily.

“Hey! Stop exploiting the situation for your appetite’s gain,” I said with a chuckle.

Sam grinned. “What can I say? I’m a pizza opportunist.”

Yvonne laughed and dabbed at her eyes. “Dominoes actually sounds really good right now.”

Sam rubbed his hands together in glee. “Yes, and we can catch up on what those housewives on Wisteria Lane have been up to this week.”

How long had it been since we’d had a night with the three of us eating junk and binge-watching our favourite show? This was us. This was what we needed tonight.

“Sounds like a plan,” I said.

“Where would I be without you two, eh?” Yvonne asked fondly.

“A very horrible place. Best not to think of it,” Sam teased and pulled out his phone to order the food.