Chapter 9
Viktor stood in the middle of Hayden’s kitchen, staring at the mess. There were boxes of food stacked in the garbage and dirty wine glasses on the counter. He cringed at the empty wine box placed beside the garbage, thinking that he’d have to stock her kitchen with good wine. He didn’t like thinking of her drinking that swill. Hayden should only have the best. Because she was the best.
Obviously, her friends had come over last night. While he’d been fighting his need to hold her, Hayden had been laughing and having a great time with her friends.
At that moment, she stepped into the kitchen and froze, her eyes drinking in his presence, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and hold her. Unfortunately, the look in her eyes told him not to. The message was loud and clear – he was not wanted here.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded, her throat scratchy and there were dark circles under her eyes. She’d lost weight and there was something…sad in her eyes. Obviously, she wasn’t as happy as the kitchen might imply.
He knew how she felt. It had been only three days, but he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind.
“I couldn’t stay away,” he admitted, his voice was just as rough.
Those pink lips opened and closed and he wanted to kiss them, to make her feel better.
“Why?”
He wasn’t sure what she was asking. “Because…”
“You don’t love me, Viktor. You don’t know how.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
“So…why are you here?”
He tried to figure that out himself. “I couldn’t stay away. I need you, Hayden. I can’t love you, but I can’t not love you either.”
Her eyes narrowed and he knew that he wasn’t making any sense. “I know. That doesn’t sound reasonable. But…” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just…need you, Hayden. I can’t sleep without you next to me anymore. I can’t…”
She threw herself into his arms.
For a long moment, he barely moved. She was soft and warm and beautiful and…his arms finally wrapped around her as he buried his face against her neck. “I will protect you,” he vowed.
She smiled gently up at him and he knew that she was trying to understand, to gauge why he was here. “That’s very sweet, but I don’t need your protection.” She slid her hands higher. A week ago, yesterday even, he would have put his arms around her and tried to make love to her. But at this particular moment, he stood stiffly against her, wanting to pull her closer again, but he only allowed himself that brief moment of weakness.
Lifting her head higher, she kissed his jawline, his neck, his chin, anywhere she could reach. And her fingers smoothed against his chest, feeling the power underneath the expensive material. “I’m just relieved that you came back to me.” She hiccupped slightly. “You love me, Viktor. I know you don’t want to admit it to me, or maybe even yourself, but that’s okay. I know you love me.” She kissed him again, pressing her body against his. “I love you too, Viktor. I love you and I’m going to protect your heart.” She rubbed her cheek against his chest, trying to get as close to him as she could. “I love you and I’m going to keep saying that until you believe me.”
He growled and his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her head backwards. “You left me that morning.”
She ignored the slight pain on her scalp as she reached up, her fingers skimming delicately along his cheek. “I know. I’m sorry. I wanted you to understand how I felt when you left me each morning.” Her gaze softened as she looked up at him. “Please don’t do that to me again, okay? And I won’t ever do it to you again.” She kissed his jaw again. “I know you are busy, and might need to get into the office very early some mornings, but if you could just kiss me goodbye, kiss me so that I know you’re leaving, that would help me feel less hurt, okay?”
He didn’t respond and they stood there, not moving, as he looked down at her, his hands not allowing her head to move in any way. Instead of agreeing to her request, he broke down and kissed her. And when Viktor kissed her now, it was with everything he was feeling inside of her – all the emotions he still couldn’t articulate. Gentleness, passion, desire, lust, and love…it was all surging through him in a confused, angry mess of emotions that she understood he didn’t know how to deal with.
So, she kissed him back, lifting her hand to gentle him. Trying to quiet the angry beast that was ripping him up inside. She loved this man. She couldn’t deny that any longer. Yes, he would protect her, and he also loved her, a whole lot more than he could handle right now. She didn’t understand why he’d become so angry over the declaration of her emotions, but she would. It had become clear to her over the past several days that she needed him just as deeply as he needed her.
She felt the world tilt, but hung onto his shoulders as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. He made love to her this time more gently, almost reverently. When she screamed his name, she added in that she loved him as her body trembled with the pleasure he gave to her every time they connected like this.
And before he left the bed, he kissed her.
Hayden felt like the world had just turned rosier.