FIVE
Seren was angry with herself. She knew it was a ridiculous thing to cry about; it wasn't as if he had rejected her forever. It was only that, after the tumult and confusion of the past few days, it had been nice to feel like she was in control, that something was going well. He had been responding to her as if he wanted her. She was sure that he did, and so she couldn't understand why he'd suddenly pulled away. The more logical parts of her brain could come up with all sorts of reasons, but her heart only felt frustration and rejection. The fact that Meirion wouldn’t even looked at her made it hurt all the more. Having a good cry in the shower let out most of her tension, and at least she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her sobbing over the sound of the water. The downside was that by the time she got out, what she really wanted was a nap.
Once she was dressed, she emerged from the bathroom to find that Meirion had pushed the bed against the wall, revealing a greater circle already carved into the floorboards. It wasn’t the basic one they were taught in textbooks either, but something he had obviously developed himself, using his own personal style. There was a flowing elegance to the arrangement of the lines and symbols, and Seren might have complimented him on it if she had trusted herself to speak.
As for the man himself, he had been bent over on the floor adding elements to the circle with a piece of blue-green chalk, but he straightened up at her approach. He had already removed his glamour, and she found herself caught in the hypnotic gaze of his ocean-colored eyes. She could almost feel his relief and regret, but her own emotions were too raw to allow her to process it. She looked away and heard him sigh.
“It will only be a few minutes,’ he said in a tight voice. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Not quite, but it will only take a second,” she managed to say, and she strode over to the chair where she’d left her bag and threw the last few things inside. He had explained yesterday that she wouldn’t really need anything, once she was in the Otherworld. Material goods were plentiful in the world of magic, and furthermore, they’d look rather out of place wearing mortal clothes.
So, everything in her bag was something personal, photos of her family, journals and books, a ragged stuffed animal, some jewelry and a few favorite articles of clothing. The bag was heavy, but she didn’t care. She knew she’d appreciate the reminders of home later.
When she turned back around, Meirion was pushing himself up to standing and brushing chalk dust from his shirt. He wasn’t dressed any differently than he normally did, a buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up and jeans that were straddling the line between artfully worn and worn-out. It made her feel better about her own clothing choices, though she couldn’t help but notice that his feet were bare.
Blue, green, and white candles flickered around the edges of the gate spell, but the sigil was dull and unpowered. He turned to her, his eyes shadowed, and reached out to her, gesturing to her necklace. “May I? A planar gate is a complex spell. The less active magic we take through, the better.”
She nodded, and he picked up the pendant in his hands, being, she thought, especially careful not to touch her. Her skin tingled as the glamour fell away, and she couldn’t help but wonder what he saw when he looked at her “true” self. Did he find her more attractive? Less? Did it not matter at all? It was too painful to think about, and she looked down at her feet. He cleared his throat. “Are you ready to go?”
Seren took a deep breath. Yesterday she’d been so nervous about the trip to the Otherworld, meeting her family, and being thrust into a political situation she didn’t entirely understand, but now she was only hoping it would prove to be a distraction from her tumultuous emotions. “Yes, I’m ready.”
“Since I’ll be the one casting the spell, you’ll find it less disorienting if you hold on to me,” he said in an apologetic tone of voice, offering his arm. The words confused her. Did he truly think she was so angry that she wouldn’t even want to touch him? But now wasn’t the time to question him about it; she linked her arm with his and looked up into his eyes. There were too many emotions there to name. “Let us step into the circle,” he said, and she realized that was why he was barefoot.
It was more efficient to channel the spell through his skin. As soon they stepped inside, the lines of the sigil came to life, glowing with power, and she could hear him chanting under his breath. A portal seemed to spin itself out of the very air. It looked wrong to her eyes, a tear in the fabric of her reality, leading into nothing, but after a moment, an image did appear, a mountain range against a clear blue sky. “Here we go,” he said, and they stepped forward into the void.
*****************************
Seren had only been through a teleport twice, that she had been conscious of. It was too powerful and draining a spell to cast casually. And she’d certainly never been through a planar teleport, except, she presumed, as an infant. She was prepared for the mild sense of vertigo and nausea that usually accompanied magical travel, but that was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. Her body felt as if it was being stretched in every direction, and her mind was a kaleidoscope of color and sound. There was an intense rushing sensation, like she was poised at the crest of a wave that was about to crash over the shore. The only constant that seemed to anchor her to reality was the steadiness of Meirion’s arm under her hand.
Then everything came to a lurching stop and she fell, landing hard on her hands and knees. The ground was solid, but her insides were heaving. There was a warm hand on her back, holding her hair back as she vomited the remains of last night’s dinner onto the ground. She was barely capable of forming a coherent thought, except to internally bemoan what was surely a horrible first impression. Finally, her stomach was settled enough for her to sit up. They were outside, in some sort of high mountain meadow, and Meirion handed her a a glass of water and a damp washcloth that he had to have literally conjured.
“Thanks,” she rasped out, wiping her face and washing out her mouth. Thankfully, she’d managed not to get anything on her clothes. “Where are we?”
“About a half mile outside the gates of your family’s estate. Traveling by portal can be difficult if you aren’t used to it. I thought you might need time to recover,” he said, his tone nonchalant in contradiction to the expression of concern on his face. Even though things were tense between them, she was struck by the simple gesture of thoughtfulness.
“Oh. Thank you. I think I’m all right now,” she said, pushing herself to her feet. “I thought the Court of Heavens had some sort of palace in the clouds.”
Meirion offered his arm again, and she didn’t hesitate to take it. For the first time, she noticed the sunlight bringing out hints of red in his hair, which, in her opinion, only added to his charm. “Lord Aidan runs his Court a bit differently than his father did. My understanding is that they split their time between the palace and this place, which is their family home.” As he talked, he led them to a road, smoothly paved in blue-white stone. “I don’t think the Lord and Lady wanted to be reunited with you in front of all of their courtiers, much to their disappointment, I’m sure.”
Seren felt a little relieved by that news, and she allowed herself the luxury of looking at the scenery. The air was crisp and cool, and purple wildflowers lined the edge of the roadway. It could have been the mortal world, except that the colors were almost too bright and clear, the birdsong too beautiful, the sky too blue. Yet there was also a feeling, deep within her, of rightness and belonging. It was disconcerting.
They walked for several minutes in silence, lost in their own thoughts and saving their breath for walking. Even at a fairly easy pace, the going was steep. But then, the house came into view. “House” wasn’t really the proper word to describe what was something in between a medieval castle and an Italian villa. The walls were built of cream-colored stone and the roofs were tiled in dark brown.
One tower soared high into the air beside the front gate, topped with a banner bearing a silver star on a deep blue field, and snow-capped mountain peaks marched off in the distance behind it. A trumpet sounded at their approach, but the gate was already open.
Meirion slowed his steps. “Do you need a moment?” he asked. Seren took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, but keeping a tight grip on his arm. He covered her hand with his own, hesitantly, squeezing her fingers when she did not pull away.
She offered him a somewhat tremulous smile. “I’m ready.” He nodded and they walked through the gate together, toward a small knot of people waiting on the other side. Seren would never forget her first sight of Lord Aidan and Lady Rowan standing side by side, their arms linked. Seren’s mother was smiling, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears. Her face was familiar because it was so similar to the one Seren saw in the mirror every day. Meanwhile, the man who could only be her father, judging by his long, shadowy hair, had a thin face with sharp, elegant features. His expression betrayed little, but she could tell by his tightly clasped hands that he was anxious. There were other people behind the Lord and Lady, but for the moment they held back as Meirion and Seren stepped forward.
“My Lord and Lady,” he said, bowing his head, and Seren, not wanting to be rude, followed suit. But before she could raise her eyes, she was nearly bowled over by a fierce embrace. It was so warm and inviting that she found herself returning it.
“Please, dear. You never need to bow to us,” Lady Rowan said, pulling back to take Seren’s hands in her own, her smile brilliant. “I know you don’t remember us, but we haven’t forgotten you.”
“Yes, no more formalities from either of you,” Lord Aidan agreed, grasping Meirion firmly by the wrist. “You are family. I know you did not want to return here, Meirion, so we are grateful that you brought Seren back to us, anyway.”
Meirion’s cheeks had gone slightly pink. “Of course. It was my honor to do so. Besides, as much as I might have liked to, I can’t ignore the situation in the Court of Waves.”
“I would not have blamed you for staying away, but I am glad that you’re here. Although I would prefer to spend time with my daughter and let you both rest and acclimate yourselves, I’m afraid the matter will not wait,” Aidan said, sighing. “I thought we might speak more about it while Seren takes tea with her mother and siblings.”
Meirion glanced at her questioningly, and she gave him a small nod. She couldn't say she was totally comfortable with the idea but she didn’t doubt that she would be safe, and she knew the situation in the Court of Waves was important. He nodded back and allowed himself to be led away by Lord Aidan with one last anxious look in her direction.
“I need to have a word with him later,” Rowan said, pursing her lips. “I can’t believe he never told me that he was the prince.”
Seren couldn’t help but laugh. “He did tell me that he taught you at Oxford, and that he helped you to come back here once.”
“He was my favorite professor,” Rowan agreed with a smile. “Mostly because he spoke about the Aos Si in an unbiased way, which was unusual in that time. My father was the most influential magician in Britain and he hated the fae with a passion. It wasn’t until later that I found out why.” She shook her head. “In any case, he is a good man. How are things going between you? I suppose it was not the most ideal start to a lifelong relationship.” Seren grimaced.
“That well, huh?” said the young woman who’d been standing behind Lady Rowan. She had golden hair bound in a thick braid, and a cheerful, open face. “I’m Rhosyn, your sister, since Mother doesn’t seem like she plans on introducing us.”
Rowan frowned at her older daughter and shook her head. “I am sorry. Too many things going on at once,” she said, taking a step back. “This is Rhosyn, as you’ve heard, and this is Oisin,” she said, indicating a young man with curly brown hair and eyes full of starlight. He waved shyly. “Your other brother, Idris, wanted to be here, but matters in the Court of Bones are fractious as usual.
He didn’t want to leave Maeve and their son alone, but neither could they leave on such short notice, especially with the Court of Waves so unstable at present. I expect them to visit in a week or so,” she finished with a sigh. “Now, let’s go into the garden. We can have lunch, and then we can discuss other matters.”
****************************
It was a beautiful garden. Not like the precise and stuffy things that Seren had seen in pictures of England’s royal palaces, but something fragrant and wild. Flowers spilled over their beds, growing in a joyous cacophony of color among the meandering paths. A stream wound throughout, its hidden pools and waterfalls filling the air with the sound of falling water, accompanied by the buzzing of honeybees and chirping of birds. A round table was set in the midst of all this, right next to the largest of the pools. The most colorful duck Seren had ever seen was washing its feathers with splashing enthusiasm as she took a seat between her mother and sister.
At first, they did not press her to speak, but allowed her to eat, drink, and gaze at the garden while they discussed trivial matters at court, but finally, Rhosyn turned to her with an eager expression. “So, what is going on with Meirion? You two seemed to be getting on well enough, based on what I could tell from those few minutes, but your reaction to Mother’s question wasn't so enthusiastic.”
Seren winced. She wanted to tell them because, in all honesty, she could use the advice, but she also felt that it was a little embarrassing. “It’s not that things are… bad. But it was going really well, and then he kind of… withdrew, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Rowan raised her eyebrows. “I suspect it might have something to do with what happened to him before. Has Meirion spoken to you about why he left the Otherworld?”
“Only a little,” Seren said, shrugging. “He said he lost someone close to him.” The memory of his sorrowful expression came back to her, pulling at her heart, adding to the feeling of discomfort caused by his absence.
“That’s true,” Rowan said, “If a vast oversimplification. He was young, for an Aos Si, older than you are now, but not by much, when he met her. Isabel was a half-mortal, a third or fourth cousin of his, and they were smitten with each other immediately. According to Aidan, Meirion would have married her, but Lady Aine, who was skeptical of marriage by that time anyway, thought he was much too young for such a decision. She brought Isabel to Court as one of her handmaidens, but then sent him away for a few years on some errand, having promised him that if they were serious about their engagement when he returned, that she would consider it.” Even without hearing the rest of the story, Seren grasped that it was much worse than she had anticipated. It wasn’t just someone he had cared about, but a woman he had loved enough to marry.
“What happened to her?” she forced herself to ask, although she was afraid to hear the answer.
“Aine was a good ruler, but not the most… attentive to the social aspects of her Court. Despite her own tolerance, and even encouragement, of children between Aos Si and mortals, some of the nobles were incensed that she would even consider wedding her heir, her only full-blooded child, to a half-blood. They bullied Isabel, hoping to drive her away from court, and they were successful, in the worst way possible.”
Rowan sighed, her face drawn. “Isabel committed suicide. Or, at least, her death appeared to be self-inflicted, and there was no proof otherwise, as far as anyone knows. Meirion was angry with his mother for not protecting her, and for not punishing those who had driven the woman he loved to such a desperate choice. He left the Court of Waves very publicly, although Aine made some attempts to cover that up.”
“He blames himself,” Seren said, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “I suppose he thinks if he had defied Aine, Isabel would still be alive.”
Lady Rowan reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “That may be true, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for you. When he spoke to Aidan before the ritual, he indicated as much. You are fated to be together, and though that may seem rather overwhelming now, I believe it indicates a hopeful future. I didn’t tell you of his past to depress you, but to enlighten you. If Meirion is distant, I suspect it is out of fear, not out of disdain. The last woman he loved died tragically. I’m sure he is wary of exposing himself to such pain again.”
Seren hadn’t considered things from that angle, and she had to admit that it made a certain amount of sense. However, she wasn’t sure it made her feel… hopeful. More like small and helpless against the weight of his past grief. Maybe they were meant to be together, but that didn’t necessarily mean they would be happy. She tried to put it out of her mind for the rest of the meal. As much as it made her uncomfortable to admit, she found she genuinely liked her mother and siblings.
Oisin was shy, but he was intelligent and intuitive. Though he didn’t speak often, all of his comments displayed startling emotional depth and wisdom beyond his years. Rhosyn was sharp and bright, charging straight to the heart of things, but never cruel. And her mother… it had been difficult, when Seren had first heard the news, to imagine that Lady Rowan was her mother, but even after a few hours in her presence, it felt almost natural. She was warm and gentle, but not in a retiring way. When she spoke, it was clear that she considered herself the equal of her husband, and everyone around her accorded her the appropriate respect as a matter of course. She never raised her voice, but there was power behind her words, and Seren felt keenly that Rowan would do whatever it took to protect her family. With everything she had ahead of her, Seren felt suddenly glad to be included under the shield of the Lady’s affection.
But, as the plates of food emptied and the tea that was not drank went cold, she started to feel anxious. That same headache pulsed behind her eyes as the bond between herself and Meirion was pulled taut. She was about to ask about him when she felt a hand on her shoulder, a touch that sent warm tendrils of relief straight to her heart. “Meirion,” she said, turning to look at him. He gave her a tight smile, but she knew without being told that, this time, his tension was unrelated to her.
That aside, it was his outfit that really got her attention. His hair was pulled up high on his head in a multitude of small braids, decorated with crystal and shiny seashells, and topped with a coronet made of coral and opals. As for his clothes, well, he was hardly wearing any. A necklace of shark’s teeth and abalone rested on his collarbone, golden bands fashioned in the shape of fish looped around each bicep, and a length of fabric, beautifully dyed to match his eyes, was cinched at one hip. It left very little to the imagination, and Seren found herself enraptured. His eyes caught hers, sparkling with a hint of humor, and she looked away, her face on fire.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your time together, but Lord Aidan believes we should leave for the Court of Waves as soon as possible,” he said.
“I understand,” Lady Rowan replied with a gentle smile. “We’ll have plenty of time for socializing later. But if you haven’t eaten, perhaps you’d like to have lunch while Rhosyn helps Seren find some appropriate clothes.” He nodded, though he seemed as reluctant as she felt to be parted again.
Seren wished she could assume that he missed her for herself and not just because of the link between their souls, but she supposed she’d take what she could get. His hand lingered on her shoulder as he took a seat beside her, and she would have liked to reach up and take it in her own, but Rhosyn had already latched on to her other arm. She let herself be pulled away, giving a quick wave to everyone at the table before she was dragged through an archway and down a nearby corridor.
“It’s a pity Fenella isn’t here at the moment,” Rhosyn said as they passed through a doorway and into a spacious bedroom. “She’s much better at this than I am.”
“Fenella?” Seren questioned, wondering if it was another relative she had yet to meet. Rhosyn had made her way to the armoire and was poking through it with a thoughtful expression.
“She’s Mother’s best friend, a nature spirit who used to be an information broker and intelligence operative and one of the main reasons why our parents managed to get together in the first place. But during the trouble with the Court of Bones, just before you were born, she ended up falling in love with Maeve’s brother, Conall. They got married a few years ago, and have a little cottage outside Serenalis. Anyway, Fenella is a genius with fashion; she always picks the perfect thing.”
It took several tries for Rhosyn to be satisfied, but finally she stood back with a smile and led her over to the mirror. “What do you think?” Seren bit her lip; she’d certainly never dared to dress this way before. The rich purple cloth wrapped over her breasts left her midriff bare and the matching skirt was more like a loincloth, exposing almost the whole length of her leg every time she took a step.
However, judging by Meirion’s attire, that seemed to be the style in the Court of Waves. It may have even been for practical reasons, if half the Court was underwater. And she had to admit, with her hair done up in braids and accented with crystal and silver stars, with silver jewelry to match, she very much looked the part of a princess of the Heavens.
“I’m not sure what to say. I hardly recognize myself. I certainly won’t look out of place next to Meirion.” Rhosyn laughed at her halting praise.
“I suppose you aren’t used to Otherworld fashion. If it makes you feel any better, Mother had it much worse. In her time, showing any skin was scandalous in the mortal world, and when she came to our Court, transparent gowns were all the rage. Father couldn’t figure out why she always looked like she was freezing to death.”
Seren snorted at that, and it dissipated some of her tension, as it was meant to. “Oh! I almost forgot,” Rhosyn said suddenly, turning and taking something out of the top shelf. “This one is mine, but it’s a too delicate for my tastes. Feel free to wear it until you find something you like better,” she said, setting an insubstantial silver tiara into her hair. It was little more than the setting for an enormous star sapphire, accented with curls of tooled silver. “Now it will be clear that you are Meirion’s equal.”
Seren grimaced. “Somehow, I doubt that a crown is going to make that much of a difference,” she said, sighing heavily. “I know I’m hardly prepared for this, and I imagine everyone else at Court will know that too, soon enough.”
Rhosyn put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. The nobility likes to give themselves airs, but from what I’ve seen, most of them haven’t got an ounce of common sense. If you act like you know what you’re doing, they won’t know any better. And we don’t care whether you use the right fork, or whatever,” she added with a grin.
“Nor, I think, does Prince Meirion. I don’t know him, but I feel that Mother is right. He does care about you, but so much has happened in the past few days, I don’t think he knows what to do with himself.”
“I hope you’re right,” Seren said. “I suppose I ought to cut him some slack. He’s been through almost as much as I have, this week, and he’s managed to hold himself together.” Of course, it was all well and good to tell herself that, but it didn’t stop her from wanting more.
Rhosyn pursed her lips, appearing to consider something carefully. “I was researching the soul bonding ceremony in the library yesterday. I thought it was interesting that I’d never heard of it before. Anyway, I discovered something that I thought you should know.”
“What is it?” Seren said, feeling a knot of dread coalescing in her stomach.
“Nothing bad, per se,” Rhosyn assured her. “It’s only that, since it was originally designed as a marriage ceremony, the bond isn’t complete until the relationship is… consummated. If that never happened, it’s likely that the connection between you would fade with time, though I have no idea how long it might take. I couldn’t find an instance of that ever happening; it was just something I noticed from the design of the spell. I don’t think it’s common knowledge.”
Seren nodded mutely, but her mind was spinning. What would Meirion say if he knew? Did he know already? She felt she ought to tell him, but she was afraid. For herself, it wouldn’t have mattered. The bond did not frighten or inconvenience her; if there was not so much else going on, she would have considered it a blessing. But if he knew there was a way out, wouldn’t he jump at the chance?