CHAPTER ONE
I chewed my lip nervously as I waited for Dwyllverys to finish her test. It had been a non-stop whirlwind from the moment that I had returned to reality. I had awoken only to bolt upright and demand to see the albino dragon. Gael has asked why, but I couldn’t tell him.
What if I was wrong?
What if Perin was trying yet again to play some sort of psychological game with me?
Thankfully Dwyllverys was quite speedy in her arrival, and upon one look at my panicked face, she ushered Gael out of the room and demanded privacy.
I hadn’t been sure what to expect when I had confessed to her what I feared. Disdain? Shock? Worry? But instead of any of those, the older dragon’s face had softened, and she caressed my hair comfortingly.
I’d felt a modicum better after that, and she had busied herself with getting whatever herbs and crystals she needed to tell if I was with child or not.
After what seemed like years, she returned to me, a carefully blank expression on her face.
“You’re pregnant.”
I gasped. The world opened up under me and I plummeted thousands of miles down, except I was still sitting right in the same room where I started. No. This couldn’t be. I had always been careful and proactive with my reproductive health; how could I allow myself to be so blindsided?
The pale dragon’s voice grew even softer, and her hand rested gently over mine. I could tell she was nervous, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I was the pregnant one, not her! “I apologize deeply, but is this from a willing union?”
“Willing unio- Oh!” Now it made sense. She had been afraid that Prince Julian or any one of his cronies had gotten their way with me. I was touched by her concern, but very happy to dismiss it. “Yes! Very willing. Enthusiastic even.”
Dwyllverys let out a deep breath and perked up almost immediately. “I am very glad to hear it. So, since that is settled, when was the last time you had your cycle?”
“I don’t know.” I murmured. “I have the implant so I generally don’t get my period.”
“Implant?” She parroted curiously.
Oh right. Ancient technology. “Um, it’s a medicine we have on the isle. Something that allows us to go to our studies without worrying about any… accidents. I suppose with everything that had happened, I forgot about it.” Now that I thought about it, I was supposed to make an appointment to replace mine. How long was I overdue? Even three or four months didn’t really seem like enough to get all those hormones out of my system.
“I see. Well, do you know who the father is?”
My mouth opened automatically. Of course, I knew who the father was! It was only after I started to say the Prince’s name that I realized there had been one other than I had made the beast with two backs with, so to speak.
“Actually, I don’t know that either.”
She raised one thick eyebrow but otherwise managed to keep her composure. “How popular. I might be jealous if it weren’t for the fact that you have almost died several times since you arrived.”
I smiled weakly. At least she was trying to cheer me up.
“Are you comfortable with telling me who they might be? You do not have to, but it could help in determining the age of the unborn.”
“Well…” I said slowly, weighing my options. “It could be Prince Gael.”
“I thought as much. With the way he looked at you there’s no doubt that he will be utterly elated. In fact, I don’t think there’s any happier news you could give him. Who’s the other possibility?”
“Myrik.”
She said nothing for a moment, but I saw her pupils enlarge, then shrink. “Myrik? As in the Advisor of the Court?”
“Yes.”
“Myrik, as in the Prince’s rival since practically birth?”
“Yes.”
“Myrik, as in-”
“Look, it’s Myrik, alright. It was one time and I’m sure he regrets it.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. Because he’s Myrik. He’s perpetually disappointed in me, so I’m sure this would follow the same pattern.”
“I think perhaps he feels differently towards you than you perceive, but I understand. So, my next question to you is, do you want to keep this child?”
Now it was my turn to be shocked. I looked up at her with saucer eyes. “Your species is facing extinction. Do I really have a choice here?”
The dragon squeezed my hands once more, her pinkish eyes conveying compassion and understanding that I had not expected to find. “I could be the very last of my kind, and you would always have a choice.”
“Oh.” Her words washed over me, and honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I had been so shocked by the revelation that I never had time to think about what I wanted. Giving birth to a child was one thing. Giving birth to a non-human in an ancient time where women’s number one cause of death was labor, was another thing entirely. “Do I have time to decide?”
“It is difficult to say. There is an herb that we women use, but it only works in early stages. If you are too far along, you will not be able to use it. Do you know how long ago you could have conceived?”
“Um, the first time would have been a couple of nights after I first arrived at your capitol. The second possibility would have been a bit after we came here. Or last night, but then it couldn’t already be registering on whatever you tested me with?”
“No, it would not.”
She looked at me thoroughly, as if she was trying to judge a before and after. “You do not seem like you have gained in size. Perhaps it is the latter rather than the earlier.”
“Yeah, but this is also a cross-species pregnancy. Do you have any idea of how long it took Lady Ashlynne to show?”
“No, actually. That is an excellent question. I was at one of our nesting grounds for the past several years. I can ask though, if you are curious.”
“No!” I said, probably a bit too loudly. “I would like it if you kept this between us for now. I need… some time to think.”
“I absolutely understand.” She patted my head twice before standing and gathering her things. When she spoke again, her voice was much louder. “Much of the exhaustion you feel is no doubt a part of your recovery. Take this medicine in the mornings to settle your stomach, and ease what pains might come. I also am leaving this tea, which you can have should the stress from your confinement make it difficult for you to stomach food. I will be back in a day or two to check on you, but feel free to send a raven whenever you have need of my care.” I nodded, gratefully mouthing the words ‘thank you’ before she opened the door and let Gael in.
“Lady Mercedes just needs rest and more water. She had been through much.”
The dark look of concern on the Prince’s face lifted, and he let out a joyful sound before striding over to me and pulling me into a strong hug. “You have my thanks, Dwyllverys. I will see you on the morrow.”
“Of course, your Highness. Rest well, Lady Mercedes.”
And then she shut the door and I was alone with my golden lover.
He looked so… so… happy to see me. As if waking up to a screaming Latina and being kicked out of bed was everything he ever wanted in life. Laughing, he swung me around the room, and I couldn’t help but share in his mirth.
For a moment, I was so tempted to tell him. I knew he would practically combust with joy. But the chance that it could be Meyrick who stilled my tongue. I didn’t want to even think of the fight that would cause.
“You truly are a miracle, you know that?” He said, grinning from ear to ear.
“You’re just saying that because I saved your life that one time.”
“Hah, yes. ‘That one time’.” Suddenly he was setting me down and his face grew quite serious. “I would be dead if you were not here. I’m tired of all the hate, and petulance. I’m going to have you be accepted as a dragon.”
“Uh, Gael, we’ve been through this dance. It doesn’t turn out well.”
“Yes, but that was before, when I needed to sponsor you. But you have proven far and beyond any voucher my word could provide that you are here to help -- maybe even save -- my people from the extinction we have made for ourselves. I will petition the Queen tomorrow to allow you the right of Dragonfire again!”
I thought of the possible life that was within me. “I’m not sure I want to risk a temple falling down on me again.”
He shook his head. “I will ensure that will not happen. We will have it in the Queen’s chambers herself if we need it. But I’m sure, after the rescue you have just pulled off, no one would be mad enough to doubt your intentions.”
“Eh, you’d be surprised the grudges that some people hold.”
“Nevertheless, it will be done.”
I still wasn’t quite sold on it, but one look into the Prince’s lavender eyes, and I knew that this meant so much to him. How could I say no to a face like that?
“If it means so much to you, then of course.”
The resulting grin across his face was so full of hope it was impossible not to be dragged into his levity with him. For a moment, I was able to forget the secret I was withholding and just enjoy the moment.
Who knew when we would have another like it.
*
It was two more days before Dwyllverys gave me permission to be up and about to my normal levels of activity. Gael was nearly a constant at my bedside, but Myrik was strangely absent. When I inquired of his whereabouts from my healer, she only knew that he was dealing with any attempted repercussions by the humans from what essentially was a terrible loss.
It was pretty fun to daydream about Prince Julian, red faced and stomping through his empty dungeon. In no short order, he had lost a dragon royal, and island seer, and his tailor -or cook, I never had figured that part out. That had to sting his pride almost as much as Carva had stung the Duke.
Speaking of the dark-haired woman, she often dropped in for quick visits and delivered all of the best gossip. She was assimilating well with the dragons, and even seemed to have her eyes on none other than Jayne. I was a bit surprised, but I couldn’t exactly throw stones seeing as I was definitely encased in a glass house of my own making.
In fact, it was my own dalliances with the shapeshifting men that had me whispering to my twice-savior in confidence, asking her for a simple favor that seemed like anything but.
I really did appreciate Gael’s constant vigilance at my side, but I needed to get away for a moment and see Myrik face to face. I could possibly have his child…dragonling…egg??? inside of me, and I needed to see him before I decided anything. I didn’t feel like I could explain to him why I wanted to go out alone, nor would he probably let me out of concern for my safety. However, he couldn’t refuse me a nice, slow stroll with the woman responsible for saving our lives with no provocation.
Carva did not disappoint. As soon as Gael turned to my room, she turned to him with a gentle flush to her pleasantly rounded features. “Your Highness! You have been here for so many days, surely you want to return to your own home and settle in.”
“I am fine.” He answered matter-of-factly. “I will return home when Lady Mercedes is cleared by Dwyllverys.”
“What, to a dark and drafty house that hasn’t been lived in over fifty years?” She clicked her tongue. “If you’re worried so much, I’ll take her on a walk and you can go about making sure things are prepared.”
“I would rather not.”
“Silliness!” It was actually pretty amusing to see the rotund woman stand up to the Prince who had nearly a foot on her. “She needs to be out of this room and so do you, and I want to spend time with my friend where we can talk about all the womanly things we’ve had to put to the side in the face of all this planning, escaping and not dying.
So why don’t you do something productive that’ll put that princely sparkle back into your eye, and we’ll be off to gossip to our hearts content.”
Gael’s lavender eyes flicked to me, clearly unsure of the situation. “Is this what you would like?”
I shrugged sheepishly. “It would be nice to have a little girl time about nothing important.”
He nodded resolutely. “Whatever you wish then. Can I at least escort you lovely ladies to the door?”
“Of course!” Carva said. “I am not one to object to such a handsome fellow’s company.”
He laughed and the mood lifted. Not that it had been particularly dreary to begin with, but I could read the Prince’s apprehension at letting me out of his sight from across the room. I supposed it assuaged his trepidation that the woman who was strolling with me had single handedly sprung me from the royal’s dungeon.
I felt fairly fine, except for a faint echo of exhaustion hovering at the edge of my mind, but we had to keep up the pretenses for why I had demanded Dwyllverys’ attention and what she was treating me for. So, I played weak and fragile, leaning heavily on my human companion.
It was much more awkward than I thought it would be to walk through the building. I wasn’t quite sure of its usual purpose, just that it was where they had chosen to treat the Prince for whatever reason. I suppose I should be asking more questions about my surroundings, but I was just happy that he was safe. Besides, it was private enough for us to have had our roll in the sack without an audience.
Then we were at the door, and the Prince was holding it open for us with a bow. It was hard to imagine that just a few days earlier he had been completely unconscious, battered within an inch of his life. I could certainly use some of that dragon-healing mojo; I still had bruises and cuts riddling my body.
Then again, it did give something for Gael to kiss and make better.
I felt my face flush but quickly tromped that down and hastily said goodbye to the golden prince, Carva snickering the whole while.
“You certainly have him wrapped around your little finger, don’t you?”
I shushed her, as we were still only a few feet from him, and for a moment I felt just like a girl back in high school, discussing my most recent crush with a bff. Except instead of Adrian on the wrestling team, it was a Prince who could shapeshift into a massive, golden beast.
Carva had the decency to wait until we were farther away before continuing her gossip.
“So, nabbed you a royal, huh? Not bad for a foreigner with a terrible accent.”
“My accent is not terrible!”
The dark-haired woman gave me a loving pat on the arm. “Of course, it’s not. Anyways, Prince! Impressive. Are you two making it official, or are you playing at the beautiful consort angle?”
“I…just…” I fumbled over my words. “We’re not really in a rush to label anything. Whatever’s between us is whatever’s between us.”
“Fair enough. So, why exactly did I need to whisk you away from the arms of your gilded lover?”
“There’s someone I need to talk to.”
“Hmm, ye I figured that, lass. Thought you’d be willing to tell me seeing as you basically owe me yer entire life, yea?”
“Now who’s the one with the strange accent?”
“I go northern when I’m trying to be funny. Stop trying to change the subject.”
I sighed. I supposed getting anything around Carva as she was literally leading me to my destination was a lost cause. “I need to speak to Myrik.”
“Who’s that?”
Oh right, the other human had spent all of her times either in the pens or in Jayne’s care after our return. She probably didn’t know more than a handful of dragons at best, and might be even fuzzier on their names.
“The black dragon. Dresses in fancy robes a lot.”
“Oh!” She said with realization. “Why do you need to see him?”
“It’s… personal.”
“That’s fine then.” We got maybe a few more feet before she drew in a sharp intake of breath. “By the gods! You’re dallying with him too, aren’t you?”
“What? Why would you say that?” Now my cheeks were burning.
It was funny, none of my trysts had seemed that scandalous while they were happening, but looking back, they certainly had a bit of salaciousness to them.
“Because I’m not an idiot. Sneaking out from the loving care of the dragon golden boy to see the dark dragon that he doesn’t seem too chummy with can only mean one thing. How should I interpret it?”
“Fine. You have a point. But don’t tell anybody.”
“Who am I going to tell? I know jack all people here and pissing off the woman I went through such lengths to save would be a terrible choice.”
“You may have a point.”
“Ye bet yer damn skirts I have a point. I’m in the habit of makin’ em.”
As always, it was hard not to laugh at her very frank and assured way of saying things. I had been like that… hadn’t I? Before all the visions and dragon political things and then the human political things. There had been a time where I didn’t mince my words and think three times before saying something I meant, right?
Being rhetorical in nature, my question didn’t get answered before we arrived at a door in the craggy walls of the mountain that looked remarkably similar to Myrik’s previous residence, just smaller. Carva let out a low whistle as she appraised the architecture.
“You’ve certainly got a taste for a certain class of man, don’t you?”
“Shh!” I urged. She held up her hands in mock surrender before closing her mouth into a thin line. Once I was sure she would behave, I knocked on the door.
I knew there was no physically possible way that the sound of my knock could travel all the way down the hall -assuming it was as long as the one from his old home- and yet a few seconds later, Myrik was opening the door.
“Lady Mercedes.” He said flatly, his face betraying absolutely no emotion. I admired that ability, even if it was incredibly infuriating given the situation. “Was there something you needed?”
“Yes. To talk. Now.”
“I don’t believe-”
“That wasn’t a question,” I continued, pushing past him and into the house. Unlike his previous shelter, this one did not have the long, unnecessarily creepy tunnel leading into the main part of the house.
“And what of your friend?”
“Oh, I’ll be just fine waiting out here.” Carva said.
Myrik’s gaze shifted from me to her and then back before he signed. “Who am I to refuse a lady?” He intoned before closing the door and gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs sprawled about.
Unsurprisingly, his new living arrangements were filled to the brim with books and scrolls. I’m sure that after everything that had happened, his thirst to uncover some miniscule fact about the humans that could put his people on top was greater than ever.
“What do you need?”
His expression was so cold, so foreign that it almost intimidated me out of answering entirely, but I forced myself to keep going.
“I think we should probably talk about whatever happened between us.”
“What do you mean?”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on! You know exactly what I mean! We slept together and I need to know where that puts us.”
“Why does it have to put us anywhere?” He said with a shrug. “We had a roll while your precious prince was missing. He’s back now, so you can run to him without any detriment to whatever moralistic debate is going on inside that insane thought process of yours.”
Now I was just getting irritated. “So that’s it? I was just a night’s occupation then? Nothing mattered about it?”
He raised an eyebrow, looking only mildly surprised. “Did it matter to you?”
“Of course, it did!” I shot back, much more bite in my word than actual syllables. “I have trust issues and don’t just fall into bed with every Tom, Dick and Dragon that falls into my path. Obviously, I was mistaken that you might feel the same.”
This was not how I had expected this conversation to go. I thought it would be awkward, sure, having to explain how I still wanted both men in my life and felt connections to either of the pair, but I never imagined this stone-cold dismissal of what I thought had been a pretty amazing experience.
“Merced-”
“It’s fine.” I snapped, storming out and throwing open the door. Carva nearly jumped out of her skin, but quickly adapted a softer expression when she saw my red, almost-watering eyes. “Good day, Myrik.”
I slammed the door shut after me and linked my arm through my friend’s. We didn’t say anything for a moment, and I was caught between sniffling in anger and waffling in embarrassment at my emotional reaction.
“I take it that it didn’t go well?”
I shrugged. “I suppose that was the best outcome. Now I don’t have to worry about breaking the heart of two men, but it’s not what I was hoping for.”
“What were ya planning? Some sort of trio arrangement?”
“I’m not sure.” I answered honestly. “I feel very strongly for both of them. One is my best friend and confidant, who supports everything I do. The other is a mentor who challenges me and always pushes me to be more. When he looks at me, I can tell that he’s seeing all that I could be, instead of just what I am now.”
“Oy. And here I’d just like a fellow to not look at me like I’m a piece o’ ass.” That almost made me choke on sudden laughter and the rounder woman patted my hand. “Don’t worry about it, darling. These things solve themselves more often than not.”
“Really? Because I definitely think that’s the exact opposite of being true.”
“Probably because it is, but I’m trying to be a comfort here. Why do you have to poke a hole in everything?”
“I suppose it’s in my nature.”
“Ay, well I guess I can’t complain. You’re the reason we’re both standing here free instead of in the breeding pens or the castle.”
I nodded and let her lead me back to where we had started. For once it was nice not to be on the run, or desperately planning some life or death Hail Mary. To rest, relax, and ponder things like ‘did I love him’ or if I even wanted him to love me.
But despite the smiles, gossip and banter, I couldn’t help but expect that this couldn’t last much longer.