AN AMBULANCE ARRIVED SHORTLY after the first police car. Holly sat on the sofa with an ignored mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her. A detective sat on Fiona’s chair. Another was standing in the hallway, watching the paramedics working on Joseph. He went outside when they did, watching them carry the body out on a stretcher. She heard his question as he went. “Any hope?” and the paramedic’s reply, “Think this one’s going to be DOA.”

Holly’s tea grew colder. She stared at the far wall, a looped video playing over and over again in her head. Joseph tearing her pyjama top open, the buttons scattering. Then his arms as they spun in circles, trying to stop him from falling down the stairs. Buttons. Stairs. Buttons. Scatter. The sound of them landing all over the bedroom. They’d be up there. She’d need to find them. Arms spinning. Buttons. Arms.

The detective flicked back to the first page of his notes. “I think I’ve got everything for now,” he said, his voice penetrating the looping video from a great distance. Holly looked up at him, surprised to see him still there.

“Is he dead?” she asked.

“They need confirmation but between me and you I don’t think he’s coming back. Strictly off the record of course.”

Holly’s bottom lip stung from where she’d bitten it. She sat wrapped up in her dressing gown, given to her by the constable who’d first walked in. She’d still been sat on the top step, naked, shivering, her skin covered in goosebumps. Two of them had come in. The woman had come upstairs, stepping over the body, leaving her colleague downstairs while she stood on the step below Holly. “Are you all right?” she asked, clicking her fingers to try and get Holly’s attention as she continued to stare into space.

She hadn’t answered. The constable had gone past her into her room, bringing the dressing gown back out with her and wrapping it around Holly’s shoulders. “Here,” she said, passing her a tissue from a packet in her trouser pocket. “Come and sit downstairs.”

Holly had to step over Joseph, wincing as she did so, expecting him to reach up and grab her at any moment. The officer stayed with her until the two detectives arrived a minute later. One of them came to her, the other joined the constables in the hallway, talking quietly to them both before dismissing them.

“If I can just run over it one more time,” the detective said as more people walked into the hallway from outside. “You met online, is that right?”

“Match Up,” Holly said, wondering who they were. “It was on Match Up.”

“And your profile name is Spongebob lover.”

Holly nodded, too tired to feel embarrassed. “What’s going on out there?”

“Forensic’s just having a look.”

“What for?”

“Anything relevant that might corroborate or contradict your story. Anything you want to tell me before they get started?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

“I’m not suggesting you have. We just have to follow all the correct procedures. Now, the date you went on. He took you to a derelict house where he threatened you in an attempt to coerce you into sex.”

Holly nodded again.

“You were driven home by him, feigning illness. You blocked his phone number and then around midnight, he broke in and assaulted you. There was a struggle and during that struggle he fell down the stairs.”

“It was an accident.”

“Of course it was. And if he’s the guy we’ve been looking for then it was an accident that did the world a favour.”

“Sorry, what?”

“There’s been someone targeting online daters, did you not read about it in the papers? They’re calling him the Matchmaker.”

“I guess I must have missed that one.”

“Well, I get the feeling we might have closed that case with this accident. Now I have to ask, how far did his attempt to assault you go?”

“He stripped me.”

“I can wait until a female colleague is available to ask the next question if you prefer?”

“I’m fine. What do you need to know?”

“Did he penetrate you in any way?”

“No, nothing like that. I ran before he had chance.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Good?”

“It means you don’t need to have a physical. Now, have you got anyone who can look after you tonight? We can’t leave you here alone.”

“My housemate. She’s on her way back from Scarborough. She shouldn’t be much longer.”

“How long?”

“About ten minutes according to her last message.”

“Well, we’ll stay until she arrives, make sure you’re okay.”

The other detective stuck his head in from the hallway. “Done out here, boss. Looks like he came in the kitchen window, it was hanging open.”

“Locked it?”

“Will do.”

“Forensics?”

“Already outside.”

“I’ll be out in a minute.” He turned back to Holly. “I’ll stay until your housemate gets back.”

“I’ll be fine. Please, I just want to get some rest. You don’t have to worry..”

It took a few minutes but she was finally able to persuade him to leave. He stood on the doorstep, still looking reticent about leaving her alone. “I’ll be all right,” she said, forcing a smile onto her lips, a cramp hitting her stomach. She felt like she was going to be sick any moment. “Fiona’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll check on you personally tomorrow,” he said, pointing a finger at her. “Deal?”

“Deal.”

He nodded, satisfied at last. Another cramp hit Holly as he walked away and she had to run to the bathroom, sinking to her knees by the toilet and throwing up until her throat burned and her stomach hurt. The cramps continued long after she leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. She groped for the flush with her eyes closed, hitting it firmly, the sound of the water draining loud but not loud enough to drown out the video that began looping again in her head. Buttons. Arms. Buttons. Arms. In the background, the echoing question, did he penetrate you?

Getting slowly to her feet ten minutes later, she made her way through the kitchen, stopping to look at the photo on the fridge. “I’m sorry,” she said out loud to her family. “I’m so sorry.” She ran her finger over the picture, touching each of her family members in turn. Then with fresh tears forming on her cheeks she went through to the living room. She couldn’t bring herself to go upstairs. The rug would be rucked up and it would need straightening. Her bed would be a mess, her pyjama trousers on the floor, the buttons scattered across the carpet.

Lying on her side on the sofa, she curled her legs up under her, closing her eyes and trying anything to make the video stop. You had to do it, she told herself.

The detective had warned her she might need to give a more formal statement. She could understand why. They might suspect she’d killed him. No, if they had, they wouldn’t have left her at home. She’d seen enough crime shows to know what would have happened. Her nails would have been scraped for DNA, she’d have been interviewed at the station. They didn’t suspect her. It would be all right.

That might have been true but it didn’t stop the waves of guilt washing over her. He was dead. She had pushed him. Buttons. Arms. Buttons. Arms.

She was still awake when Fiona arrived the next day. She hadn’t messaged her. She hadn’t wanted to ruin her date. She’d only told the detective that to make him leave. What was his name? He’d told her when he first arrived but it had gone from her mind. The only thing in her mind were buttons and arms. When the front door opened, she shot up, not sure at first where she was. Then it came back to her.

She must have slept, not much sleep though, enough to make her headachy and groggy as she bolted upright, somehow sure it was him, he’d come back for her.

When Fiona appeared in the doorway, Holly didn’t say a thing, she just burst into tears once more, unable to even start telling her housemate what had happened. Fiona sat next to her, holding her, waiting.