NINETEEN
Mercy parked in front of the Coffee Café.
Is this a bad idea?
Her conversation with Rose had made her certain she needed to talk to Levi. She needed to know that the man who’d attacked her and Rose was dead.
The image of the man’s bleeding body on her parents’ kitchen floor clogged her mind. She shuddered. The murder had always clung to her like a bad scent she couldn’t wash away. She knew no one else could smell it, but it always felt acutely evident. Some days it faded. She’d spend a few weeks without stress, and life would plod forward. She got up, she went to work, she came home.
But she still felt its stain.
Especially at work when her coworkers searched for a killer.
She was a killer.
Bile burned in the back of her throat. She climbed out of her vehicle, putting all thoughts of that night out of her head, and strode toward the cheery building. She hoped Levi was covering the shop and not Kaylie. If he wasn’t alone, she’d order a coffee and leave. She’d managed to talk to Rose and Pearl; she could handle Levi.
She entered, not surprised to find the coffee shop empty in the middle of the afternoon. Mornings were the time for refueling.
Levi stepped out of the back room at the sound of her footsteps and froze as he spotted her.
“Are we alone?” she asked before he could tell her to get lost.
“No.” Levi looked over his shoulder. “Hey, Owen?”
Mercy wanted to dash back out the door. She’d been mentally prepared for one brother, not two.
Owen appeared in the doorway, his eyebrows raised in question. “Yeah, Levi . . .” His voice trailed off as he focused on Mercy.
Her oldest brother looked like her old recollections of her dad. Lean, but ready to explode with power when provoked. She met his gaze, startled to see her own eyes in someone else’s face. Even though she’d lived with him for most of her childhood, today it felt brand new.
“Crap,” her oldest brother said. He looked from her to Levi. “You two look like you have something to talk about. I don’t want any part of it.” He ducked back through the doorway and then reappeared with his hat in his hand. He strode around the counter, his attention focused on the front door, his boot steps ringing with determination.
“Owen,” Mercy started.
“Don’t talk to me, Mercy. You nearly ripped this family apart. I hope you’re not back to finish the job.” He shoved his hat on his head without a glance in her direction. The door slammed behind him.
She wanted to melt into the floor. She looked at Levi, prepared to see condemnation. Instead there was sympathy.
“Ignore him.”
She grasped the thin olive branch. “I don’t have a choice.”
“I mean don’t let his words and actions affect you.”
“Easier said than done,” she whispered. “Was what I did that bad? Seriously? After fifteen years, no one is ready to forgive me for making a personal choice?”
Levi didn’t answer. He picked up a cloth and started to wipe down the espresso machine, averting his eyes. “It’s water under the bridge. For me.”
“Then why wouldn’t you talk to me on Monday? You acted like you’d never met me.”
His hand halted midwipe and his gaze flew to hers. “I was following your lead. You didn’t say a word when I appeared. I didn’t know who you were with or what he knew about you. When you didn’t acknowledge me, I figured it was for a good reason.”
Mercy pressed a hand against her forehead. “Oh shit. I was following your lead. I assumed you didn’t want Kaylie to know who I was. Plus I was floored to find you in here. We only stopped because we wanted coffee.”
Levi snorted. “I guess we both screwed up.”
She blew out a huge breath and summoned her courage. “Can we start over? Levi, I’m so happy to see you.” She stared at him, leaving the ball in his court, her heart in his hands. Will he shoot me down?
He tossed the cloth on the counter and came out from behind the coffee bar. Before she could move, he’d wrapped both his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, spinning in a circle. “Baby Mercy, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”
“Don’t call me baby,” she choked out. Her heart felt like the Grinch’s as it expanded to three times its size and relief shot through her.
In a way, reconnecting with Levi was better than with her sisters. Part of her had always known her sisters would take her back. But men were a different story.
He set her down and his eyes glistened.
“What about Owen?” she whispered.
“Fuck him. If he wants to hold a grudge the rest of his life, let him. He can grow old and sour like Dad.” He paused. “It’s the only way he knows how to behave.”
She knew that. Owen had always been a follower, unable to make his own decisions. He was more comfortable doing what other people dictated, and apparently nothing had changed.
“We need to talk about that night,” she said in a low voice.
He took a half step back and looked her in the eye. “Why? It’s in the past. It’s over.”
She bit her lip as she wondered how much to share with him. “He’s dead, right?”
Levi stared at her. “Why are you asking that now?”
“Because something’s come up that’s made me question it.”
“He’s dead.”
“How do you know?”
He seemed to shrink in front of her eyes. “Because I’ve checked,” he said quietly. “Three times I’ve gone back to see if he’d been found. No one has disturbed him.”
“Where is he?”
His face drained. “I think it’s best only I know that information. You need to take my word for it. I found a good place to stash the body. It’s just bones now.”
Some of her stress drained away, and she swayed slightly in her boots.
One down. What about the second man?
Levi scowled. “You need coffee.” He directed her to a tall stool at a close table. “What can I make you?”
“Americano. Heavy cream.”
He clanked some things behind the counter, and the machine started to hiss as the water was pressed through the grounds. “I need to know why you’re asking if he’s dead,” he said without looking up from his task.
“Remember the mirrors?”
His gaze shot to hers. “Yes.”
“They’re happening again. Here.”
“Women?”
“No, older men. The preppers.”
He frowned as he worked on her drink. “It’s a coincidence. It’s clearly different.”
“It is and it isn’t. That’s why I had to ask if he was still dead.”
Levi brought her the drink in a bright-turquoise cup with matching saucer. He settled himself on a stool next to her. “He wasn’t alone that night.”
Mercy’s anxiety came back. “Rose is having doubts about whether she heard a second voice that night.”
“Well, no one came looking for the dead man and no one reported the shooting at our place. I expected the police to show up the next day. And then when that didn’t happen, I expected it every day after,” said Levi. Stress lined his face, and he appeared older than when she’d first entered the shop.
“I remember. For years I’ve waited for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say they know what happened that night.”
They sat in silence for a moment as Mercy sipped at her drink.
“How come no one ever came looking for him?” she whispered. “People don’t disappear without questions being asked.”
Levi took a deep breath and blew it out. “I didn’t recognize him. None of us did. I don’t think he was from around here.”
“And the second person didn’t report it—”
“Because he knew he was just as guilty. It would have been like calling the police to complain that your heroin was stolen.”
The two of them and Rose had often repeated this logic to calm their nerves when stress and guilt from the murder threatened to overtake their lives.
“We ended the cycle of attacks back then,” Levi pointed out, leaning toward her across the table. “You or Rose were going to be next. We stopped him.”
“Did we? Because someone is breaking mirrors and killing again.” Mercy stared at him.
“They aren’t after young women. It has to be someone different.”
“I think it’s the second guy. The one who got away,” she whispered.
“You’re jumping to conclusions.”
“Did you know weapons were stolen in the Sanders and Vargas murders? It didn’t stand out back then, but it seems relevant now with the weapons missing from the current three murders.”
Levi rubbed at his beard. “Anyone would have stolen the weapons back then. Have you traced sales of the current weapons?”
“No.” Her shoulders sagged. “We have an analyst working on it. It’s hard when the weapons were probably bought illegally to start with. And I bet some of the purchases go back forty years.”
“Back then it was no big deal to sell a rifle to your neighbor. No one cared. So we’re back to the same question we’ve asked for fifteen years. Who’s the second guy?”
The background music of the café filled the silence between her and Levi. Nancy Wilson’s powerful voice asked in song if she was so afraid of one who was so afraid of her.
“We don’t know how to find him, and he’s afraid of being found.” She stated the obvious.
“Did Rose say more about who she thinks it was?” Levi asked.
“Not when I talked with her yesterday. Most of the town was at the Bevins barbecue the day she thought she heard the voice for the first time. There’s no guarantee she’s remembering that part correctly.” Mercy’s brain started to spin. “She could have heard it in a store . . . or maybe even mixed it up with something on TV . . . we don’t know that was where she heard it.” Anxiety started as a small bud in her chest and quickly bloomed. Rose’s early certainty about where she’d heard the second voice was the catalyst that’d pitted Mercy against her father.
She’d defended her sister’s belief and wanted to go to the Bevins ranch and find the source of the voice. They’d made up a lie, telling her father that Rose had heard a man outside their home and thought someone was about to break in, never revealing to him or the rest of the family that someone had broken in and attacked his daughters.
Her father had declared Rose was mistaken about the voice and refused to allow Mercy to rock his fragile relationship with the powerful rancher. He’d told Mercy to stay silent. When she’d rebelled against the silence, it’d enhanced the problems she already had with her father’s views on the roles of women. At home. In public. For the future. Mercy knew she couldn’t live in the shadow of a man for the rest of her life. Their fights came to a head, and he told her to accept his ways or leave for good.
The family had supported his decision, leaving Mercy ostracized and standing alone with her beliefs.
She made the difficult choice and left Eagle’s Nest, her family, and the only way of life she’d ever known, but her attacker was never far from her thoughts. Memories of him persisted.
His smell.
His hands.
His hot breath. And sharp nails. And stinging punches. And—
She shut it down.
Not now.
Mercy had felt abandoned.
She’d been nearly raped and murdered and had kept it a secret.
And her family had stood up against her.
“How did you get your job?” Levi abruptly asked.
She embraced the change of subject and directed her brain back from the edge of an abyss. She knew Levi wasn’t asking about her educational requirements. He wanted to know how she could have killed someone and become an FBI agent. “Lies of omission. It was easy for me to say I’ve never been convicted of a crime. And I passed all their psychological testing without problems.”
“That’s because it was justified,” Levi said firmly. “In your heart you know you did what was right. We both did. Do you like your job?”
“I love it,” she admitted. “My brain is engaged every day. I spend a lot of time staring at a computer screen, but I love assembling the puzzle pieces once I find them.”
“Sounds dull,” said Levi. “But you were always the one asking questions and looking deeper into stuff. I can remember you digging in the dirt for hours, fascinated with every layer you uncovered.”
“It changed colors and textures. I wanted to know why.” It was true. She would pick apart a piece of nature, break it into the smallest elements she could see, and then pester her siblings with her questions.
“I always figured you for some sort of scientist,” he said gruffly.
“I like what I’m doing better.”
“You’re lucky you left.”
His tone stabbed her heart. “You can’t mean that.” His gaze focused on her coffee, and she wished he’d look at her.
“For a long time I didn’t think you were lucky. I was pissed at you and I was glad that the fighting in the family stopped once you left, but then I resented you for escaping.”
If he’d slapped her, she couldn’t have been more shocked. “Nothing’s keeping you here. Why resent me?”
“I was stuck. I had Kaylie and her mom to deal with. I didn’t have the open road that you did.”
“Open road?” Anger flew up her throat. “I was shoved out the door and told to not come back. My father told me I was wrong. My choice was to live under his rules or leave. That’s no fucking open road!”
He cringed, but he looked her in the eye. “I know that. I can see it now. But back then I just wanted out too. This isn’t how I pictured my life.”
Mercy scanned the coffee shop. “It looks like a pretty damned fine life to me. You’ve got a beautiful daughter and a great business supplying crack to your buyers.” She met his gaze. “It appears peaceful.”
Levi looked at the room with pride. “Kaylie did most of it. She’s got a knack for making something sort of awesome out of a pile of junk.” He glanced at Mercy. “She’s a lot like you.”
Mercy didn’t know what to say. She’s obsessive? She can’t turn her brain off?
“Dad was wrong to put you in such a hard place.” His Adam’s apple moved up and down. “I told him he’d fucked up. But I told him too late. You were long gone. He has his pride. He’ll never admit he made a mistake.”
Mercy sat silently. It was probably the closest she’d ever feel to being vindicated.
It felt empty. Pointless.
For years she’d wanted to tell her family, “You’re making a mistake,” and Levi had just admitted it.
It didn’t heal her soul-deep ache.
She sipped her drink, not tasting it, dumbfounded that Levi’s words hadn’t healed her years of guilt.
Nothing’s changed.
I’m still estranged from half my family. I’ve lost years I’ll never get back.
“It’s a delicate balance here, Mercy,” Levi said. He rubbed a cuticle with his thumbnail and she noticed all his cuticles were red and swollen. “Everything is about status and power. The fact that Dad and Joziah Bevins can exist in the same town is due to a lot of hard work and careful words.”
She thought of Daisy the cow.
Levi didn’t look her in the eye as he picked at the cuticle. The ugly undercurrents that she’d felt as a teenager in Eagle’s Nest were still here. Nothing had changed. People cared only about protecting their own asses.
Bells jingled and she felt a rush of cool air from outdoors hit her back. She tensed, realizing her back was exposed to whoever had walked in, but Levi stood and instantly transformed into Happy Coffee Dude. “Hey, guys, how’s it going?”
He glanced at Mercy and raised a questioning brow.
She didn’t know what her brother wanted. He headed behind the coffee bar, asking the men who’d entered what they would like to drink. Four men in heavy boots plodded past her, their coats dotted with misting rain. The smells of wet dirt and fresh air followed in their wake. Mercy studied their backs and listened to her brother’s patter. He called them all by name. Craig, Mike, Ray, Chuck. Between coffee orders, Levi continued to shoot her the same questioning look.
One of the men turned and gazed at her over his shoulder. It took her a full two seconds to recognize him.
Mike Bevins.
Levi was asking if I want them to know who I am.
Mike broke off from the group and strode toward her with his hand outstretched. “You’re one of the FBI agents in town, aren’t you? We appreciate you taking a look into these murders. Our whole town has been rattled.” She stood and shook his hand.
No recognition in his eyes.
Relief flowed through her, along with a bit of annoyance. Mike had hung out with Owen in his youth. Apparently the youngest Kilpatrick sibling had been beneath his notice.
She gave an automatic smile. “We’re doing what we can.” Behind him she saw the other three men turn to note the exchange. She recognized Craig Rafferty but couldn’t place the other two men.
The one named Chuck strolled over with his huge coffee cup. His dark eyes studied her over the lid as he took a sip. “Cops in coffee shops. How’s that for a stereotype?”
She wanted to kick him in the side of the kneecap. Hard.
“Just like ranch hands in Wranglers and boots,” she replied. She touched her upper lip. “You’ve got foam on your moustache. I guess you ranching guys don’t drink your coffee black anymore.” She winked at him with a sly grin. “I like hazelnut syrup too.” Gag.
Mike grinned and elbowed the other man. “Watch out, Chuck. She’s onto you.”
Anger flashed in Chuck’s eyes and he turned his back.
“Ignore him.” Mike Bevins was still smiling.
“I will.” She sat back down and sipped her own drink, hoping he’d see she was done with the encounter. Mike Bevins reminded her too much of his father, Joziah. Same build, same eyes. At least Mike felt genuinely friendly. Joziah’s attitude had always felt forced.
“If you need someone to show you around town, I’m more than happy to.” His blue eyes shone with speculation.
Uh-oh.
“Thank you. I’m good. GPS, you know.”
“That doesn’t tell you where to find a great dinner,” he pressed. He leaned closer and rested a booted foot on a stool. “I liked the way you handled Chuck.”
She wanted to sigh. “Thank you. But really . . . I’m good.” She could be polite for only so long.
He held her gaze for another long moment, a puzzled look crossing his face.
Not used to being turned down?
She forced a smile to take out the sting, showing her teeth. Why can’t women simply say no and men leave it at that? “I’m working,” she added, kicking herself for feeling the need to let him down easy and protect his ego.
Mike nodded. “As you wish. Enjoy Eagle’s Nest.” He turned and went back to where the last of the guys was paying for his drink. The men tromped out, giving her polite nods or touching their hat brims. Chuck looked straight ahead.
Levi sank back into the seat across from her. “Mike recognized you?”
“Nope. He knew I was one of the agents in town, so I assume that much has made the gossip rounds. My name will eventually follow.” How will he feel when he realizes he hit on Owen’s little sister?
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to introduce you.”
“Not yet.”
“What’d you say to Chuck?”
“I complimented his drink.”
“He’s an ass. Hasn’t been in town that long.”
“I recognized Craig Rafferty. I had a bit of a crush on him way back when.”
“No way! You were a child.”
“Old enough to be interested in my brother’s cute friends. I liked them tall and moody.”
“He’s gone nowhere in fifteen years. Has worked at the same job all this time. Good thing you didn’t hook up back then, because you’d be the wife of a ranch hand. How’s that sound, Special Agent Kilpatrick?”
“Some days that sounds good.”
“I don’t believe that. That coat you’re wearing probably costs two weeks of his salary.”
Her coat was an investment. A quality that’d last forever. “Your fashion knowledge has greatly expanded.”
“I have a teenage daughter.”
“Touché.”
Studying her sibling, Mercy finally relaxed. A bridge had spanned their fifteen years of silence, and the enormity of the long years faded away. His face was again familiar; the crinkles at the corners of his eyes felt normal. He was her brother.
Optimism filled her. She wanted to know everything about her brother and Kaylie.
His teeth flashed in a big grin. “What are you thinking?” he asked.
“For the first time, I’m glad I’m back.”