Chapter 10

For three weeks, things went smoothly. It was as if the planets had aligned and things were going their way. Owen laughed at the metaphor because he knew the odds of that happening were slim to none, and he didn’t think it would affect whether he and Brooke had good fortune. But still, he’d heard the saying and felt like it fit.

Howard was home from the hospital, but he’d had to retire from the university. The entire astronomy department had thrown a big party for him, and Owen and Brooke had celebrated his career along with him. It was bittersweet.

This was a phase of life that Owen wasn’t sure how to deal with—waiting for someone to die. Just thinking it seemed bizarre, but it was exactly what they were doing. Sort of. The doctors gave him three more months. And that was being optimistic. The pancreatic cancer was extremely aggressive, and although Owen admired Howard’s stance on not taking treatment because of the quality of life it would cost him, he wasn’t sure he’d make the same decision if it were him.

In the meantime, they were trying to carry on with life as usual. Owen had spoken to numerous members of his family—Darcy being the most frequent caller. Not to talk to him but to Brooke. He finally just gave her Brooke’s number, and from what he could tell, they’d spoken several times. Darcy was suddenly interested in art and had all kinds of questions about it. Brooke loved talking to her and enjoyed sharing her knowledge with his sister. Owen found that he liked how his sister was reaching out—or that any member of his family was reaching out. Especially after the debacle on the day Kaitlyn was born.

He and Riley, however, had yet to have a conversation. They’d played phone tag, and it just seemed like there wasn’t enough time in the day to do all of the things he was trying to do. Same for Riley.

Looking at the calendar, Owen saw that he had five days before he left for Red Rock. He and Brooke hadn’t talked about it since that day in Howard’s hospital room, but he had a feeling that, if given the choice, she’d opt to stay home and look after her uncle. Riley was traveling a bit to try to nail down some plans for the reunion of his band. Owen hadn’t followed the drama too much, but it seemed now it was their drummer, Julian, who was holding out. Eventually, he knew they’d work it out, but the entertainment world was so foreign to him that he didn’t even try to understand it anymore.

Behind him, he heard the front door open and smiled when he turned and saw Brooke walking in with groceries. After the first night that Howard spent in the hospital, Owen had spent the majority of his time at Howard’s house with the two of them. At first, he had felt awkward about it, but once Howard was home, he expressed how grateful he was for Owen’s presence there. Howard didn’t want to be a burden to Brooke and thought Owen being there would be a great help to them all.

“Hey, beautiful,” Owen said, taking some of the bags from Brooke’s hands. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going shopping? I would have gone with you.”

She smiled and swatted him away playfully. “Oh, stop. I can easily do the food shopping. It was more important for you to be here with Uncle Howard.”

“We had some tea. Played some chess. The usual.” And that had been part of their daily routine. While Brooke ran errands or painted, he and Howard would play chess and talk—about life, science, and even death.

“Did we hear from hospice yet?”

Nodding, he told her all about the phone call and how someone would be visiting the next day. She looked relieved.

“Okay, good. That’s good.” Turning, she began putting groceries away. “So, um…I talked to my mother earlier today, and it looks like she’s going to come and spend a few days while we’re in Red Rock.”

He froze where he stood. “Really?”

Looking over her shoulder at him, Brooke nodded. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain that she was coming.”

For a minute, he didn’t know what to say. He had automatically assumed she wasn’t going to be with him—not that he didn’t want her with him. He did! But he had mentally prepared himself—sort of—to go alone.

“What’s wrong?” she said, turning to face him. “You don’t look happy. Do you want me to stay home?”

“No!” he said quickly and walked over to touch her. Reassure her. “That’s not it. I guess I just figured you wouldn’t go, and I didn’t want to push you about it. I resigned myself to going without you.”

Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him quickly on the lips. “Well, now you don’t have to accept it because I’ll be there with you to help.”

They worked together to put the food away while Brooke talked about all of her plans to help him with his group and the ways they could have some social time to help put everyone at ease.

“After Neal died, I learned to excel at that interaction. I worked at some of the local schools, volunteering with their art departments to reach out to kids who were having a tough time in school because they were quiet or shy or different. Some were victims of bullying or just had other social issues. I thought maybe we could do something artsy if that’s okay with you, perhaps during the day, before the shower starts.”

Owen couldn’t imagine what exactly would constitute artsy, but he nodded anyway. She was talking—he knew she was—and yet he couldn’t quite focus on what she was saying. Mainly because he couldn’t help but feel like this was all wrong. That what he believed about the two of them wasn’t true.

That she was out of his league.

And he was just one of her projects.

Damn it.

He knew he nodded when he should and even smiled when she did, but he wasn’t feeling it. He wasn’t…hell, he wasn’t feeling as confident about them as he should, and he hated how old insecurities were creeping back in.

Call Riley.

Maybe that was the issue. Maybe Owen needed to prove not only to himself but also to his twin that things were right. That they were okay. But he knew he couldn’t call Riley while he was here with Brooke. He needed some time to mentally prepare himself and this time, he would track his brother down—no matter how long it took—and they’d finally have the conversation they’d been needing to have for weeks.

“…I don’t know how easy it would be to have everyone bring canvas and paint, but maybe some sketch pads or something—”

“I have to go,” he interrupted her and immediately realized how awkward he sounded. “Sorry.”

Brooke looked at him oddly. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

He nodded. “I have some calls to make. Things I’ve been putting off, and…it would probably be better for me to do them back at the hotel.”

Her shoulders sagged, and her expression turned sad, and for the life of him, Owen wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t particularly good at reading situations like this, and right now, he was more focused on his own emotions than hers.

Probably not a good sign.

But rather than say what she was thinking, she looked up at him with a small smile. “Okay. Will you be back for dinner?”

Would he?

Clearing his throat, he said, “Probably not. Besides the calls, I have some work to do for the trip, and a night in alone will go a long way to getting it all done.”

She looked at the ground. “Oh.”

There were many thoughts swirling in his head of things he could say, but instead he went with “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Then he kissed the top of her head and left.

Maybe it was the coward’s way out, but it was what it was.

Better they both acknowledge what he was and what he wasn’t.

It might make her “project” a little bit clearer.

* * *

“Everything all right, Brookie?” Howard asked as he walked slowly into the kitchen.

Brooke forced a smile onto her face and noted how much her uncle had changed in the past several weeks. It was hard to believe she was looking at the same man. His gait was slower, and he looked like he had aged considerably. But still…she was glad she was here with him.

“I’m fine,” she said brightly. “I bought us some salmon to make for dinner. The one you like, with the pesto-dill butter.” She busied herself straightening the already-clean kitchen. “I’m thinking rice with it. What do you think?”

Before she knew it, he was beside her, and she recognized the look on his face—he wasn’t buying her cheery routine any more than she was.

“Owen just left.”

Howard nodded. “It’s all right, you know.”

Leaning against the granite countertop, she sighed. “I know. But…he just seemed… Something’s bothering him.”

“He’s getting ready for a trip he doesn’t want to go on, and he still hasn’t cleared the air with his brother. That’s a lot for anyone to deal with. Did he say where he was going?”

“Back to the hotel to do…well…all the things you just mentioned.”

Howard chuckled. “Don’t look for trouble, Brooke. The two of you have been inseparable for weeks. It’s not a bad thing to take a night off.”

“I know, I know, but…” She paused and looked at him. “I’m telling you, there’s something else wrong. He won’t tell me, but…it’s there. I can see it when we’re talking sometimes. He gets this look on his face, and it reminds me of how he looked when we first met. Like he’s uncomfortable with me or something.”

“I hardly think he’s uncomfortable with you. Not anymore.”

She wanted to believe him, she did. Unfortunately, she had spent so much time around Owen that she knew him better than he thought.

“I told him about my mom coming to stay with you while we’re in Red Rock, and he completely paled.”

That made Howard laugh again. “Your mother has that effect on people.”

Brooke laughed too. “Yes, on people who know her. Owen’s never met her, and it wasn’t so much the fact that Mom was coming here but that I was still going on the trip with him.”

“Have the two of you talked about it?”

“The trip?”

Howard nodded.

She shrugged. “Not so much. We’ve sort of been—”

“You’ve both been so wrapped up in worry about me that you’re not communicating,” Howard said and then frowned. “Okay, do you want some advice?”

She nodded. “Please.”

“Leave him be for tonight. Let him go and clear the air with Riley and get his work done. You should do the same.”

“I should clear the air with Riley?” she teased and then smiled when her uncle gave her a hearty laugh.

“Not exactly,” he said vaguely, pausing. But he didn’t expand on his thinking. “And then tomorrow I want you out of the house for the day. Go with Owen to a museum or lunch and then dinner and just… I don’t want to see you back here tomorrow night either.”

“Uncle Howard!” she cried. “I can’t do that! You shouldn’t be alone!”

He waved her off and walked to the refrigerator to grab something to drink. “I won’t be. A few of my buddies from the university are coming over tomorrow night for a game of poker and some pizza. I’ll ask one of them to come early and another to stay the night.”

“Pizza isn’t very healthy for you right now,” she reminded him.

Howard turned and gave her a sad smile before cupping her cheek in his hand. “All the healthy eating in the world isn’t going to change what is, sweetheart. I might as well indulge without the guilt.”

And for the second time in less than an hour, she was kissed on the head and had to watch a man she loved walk away from her.

* * *

“I was just getting ready to call you.”

Riley laughed out loud. “Because we’re twins! I told you, it’s totally a thing! We’re completely in tune with one another.”

Owen rolled his eyes and settled in. “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Oh, lighten up. You’re just upset because you can’t disprove this. We’re freakishly in sync with one another.”

“Then how come it’s been three weeks and we haven’t synced up? Explain that.”

“Simple. We both wanted to talk. We both tried to get in touch with the other, but sometimes things get in the way. I can’t explain how the universe works—that’s your deal.”

“Being busy has nothing to do with the universe,” Owen argued, but his heart wasn’t into it, and he let the rest of his argument go unsaid.

Riley was silent for a moment too. “I did want to talk to you before now, you know.”

“I know.”

“You never did that before.”

“Did what?”

“Stood up to me and then walked away. It felt… I didn’t like it.”

Owen smirked. “Yeah, it wasn’t quite as satisfying as I thought it would be.”

“Then let’s not do that again.”

“Riley—”

“Okay, look. I get it. I was…I was a complete ass and completely out of line. I was a little bent out of shape, and…I took it out on you.”

“What were you… What did you call it? Bent out of shape? Why?”

“You and I talk all the time. All. The. Time. Even when I was on tour or you were traveling and lecturing, we made the time. We tell each other everything. And then you didn’t.”

Damn. Owen didn’t need his brother to clarify. He knew exactly what he was referring to. “It wasn’t intentional.”

“I know. I get that now. But at the time, it wasn’t quite so clear.”

There were so many questions in Owen’s mind that he wanted to ask, things he needed to know, but all that came out was “You hurt me, Riley.”

Silence, then, “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t have an excuse—I wish I did.”

“Do you think so little of me that it’s inconceivable that a beautiful woman would want to date me?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“It kind of is. You said she was out of my league.”

Riley muttered a curse. “Dude, she’s…she was… You’ve never dated anyone like her. I was just surprised.”

“No, you were rude and insulting,” Owen corrected. “Not that it matters.”

“Why? What happened? Are you still dating?”

“For now.”

“Okay, it’s a good thing I have the rest of the day free because we’re not getting off the phone until you tell me everything. And I’m serious. I have nothing else to do. Savannah’s out shopping with her parents, and I’ve got a fully stocked refrigerator to keep me going. The ball’s in your court.”

“Well, damn.”

Riley burst out laughing. “Did you just curse?”

“I do that from time to time.”

“Maybe Brooke isn’t so wrong for you.”

And then it was as if the dam broke. Owen started talking, and no matter how much he wanted to stop—to let Riley comment or say something—he couldn’t. He shared about her brother’s suicide, her fear of the dark, and her “projects” with helping socially awkward kids and how he was feeling like he was now one of those projects.

When Owen finally finished, he was breathless. He rested his head on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, feeling like he’d run a marathon.

“Wow.”

Owen couldn’t muster a response.

“Am I allowed to say something now?”

“Sure,” Owen replied quietly.

“First off, you’re an idiot.”

That had him sitting straight up. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’re an idiot. For a guy with such a high IQ, it’s a bit shocking how your brain works sometimes.”

Raking a hand through his hair, Owen struggled for a quick comeback. But he wasn’t fast enough because Riley started talking again.

“So this beautiful woman who, according to you and the girls, is also incredibly sweet and humble—”

“Wait. What girls?”

“Our girls,” Riley said. “Zoe, Aubrey, Anna, Darcy, and Savannah. I got an earful from all of them after you left Quinn’s that day.”

“Oh.”

“As I was saying…you think the way she deals with her grief over losing her brother is somehow related to her relationship with you. Do I have that right?”

“Maybe…” When worded like that, Owen was no longer sure.

“Can I say something without coming off as being a complete womanizing jackass?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Ha-ha. Very funny. You’re getting a bit of a snarky sense of humor,” Riley quipped. “I like it.”

“Riley…”

“Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve met a lot of women in my life. I’ve been involved with a lot of women in my life.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it,” Owen murmured.

“No, you don’t,” Riley quickly corrected. “I’ve met all kinds of women, Bro. I’ve dated women who were with me because they liked me and ones who liked the persona and the fame of who I am. They’re fairly easy to spot—especially to the people around you. I’ll admit that I got hurt a time or two because I didn’t want to see the signs, and believe me, everyone was pointing them out to me.”

“So…”

Riley growled a little with frustration. “Look, maybe I’m not making sense here, but…bottom line? Brooke’s clearly not that kind of woman. The girls all figured that out, and the more I thought about it, I knew they were right. And after everything you just told me, it all fits.”

“What fits?”

“Dude, you’re seriously not this clueless, are you?”

“I don’t—”

“I can’t say with any great certainty because I’m not there and I don’t know Brooke like you do. But here’s the thing—maybe her heart was in that place when her uncle mentioned working with you. Maybe she did see it as a chance to do something helpful for someone who shared some common traits with her brother. But as for her turning that into a romantic relationship—a sexual one—for the sake of being a good Samaritan? No way. You’re wrong.”

“But what if—”

“You’re wrong,” Riley said firmly. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“And say what? That I hope I’m not just one of her projects? That I applaud her dedication to the cause of helping socially awkward nerds everywhere?”

“Nerds? Did you just use that word? What are you, twelve?”

“What else would you call me?”

“Um…brilliant. Genius. Loyal. Amazing. Talented. Gifted.” Riley paused. “Was that enough, or do you want more?”

“Be serious.”

“I am serious, and you’ve got to get over this complex you have.”

“It’s not a complex. Not really.”

“Okay, then you need to get over this insecurity. You’re not that shy kid anymore. You’re a successful and well-respected scientist. It’s time you owned it.”

Own it? Owen wasn’t even sure what that meant. “I know who I am, Riley.”

“I don’t think you do.”

Owen sighed wearily. Sometimes talking to his brother was beyond frustrating. “Believe me, I do. I know my strengths, and I know my shortcomings. There are far more shortcomings.”

“Then you don’t know who you are,” Riley stated. “Because from where I’m sitting, you’re pretty freaking impressive. You speak to students all over the country.”

“So? You perform in front of tens of thousands of people.”

“It’s not the same thing. I stand on a stage, and I have the band right up there with me. I’m not engaging one-on-one. I’m singing to the masses. I’m playing a part. But what you do? You go up and stand in front of these classes—sometimes a hundred or more students at a time, right?—and you engage them. Sometimes one-on-one. You make a difference in their lives.”

“So do you, Ry. Everyone knows who you are. Everyone sings along with you.”

“You know what, yes. People know me, and they sing my songs, but you? You change lives. What you do every single day helps the next generation of scientists. Right now some kid is looking through his telescope and wondering about why the stars are shining in the sky, and it’s because of you he’ll be able to learn that.”

“Not exactly.”

“The research you do and the lectures you give? That helps, Owen. Don’t second-guess yourself. And don’t second-guess yourself with Brooke. Talk to her about what you’re feeling. Communication is key in any relationship but especially in a romantic one. I chose to walk away from Savannah rather than talk to her if you remember correctly. And what good did it do? We were both miserable, and it was time together that we lost.”

“Even if I talk to her, knowing Brooke she’ll downplay the whole thing. And then I’ll let it go because I won’t want to argue with her about it. But in the back of my mind, it’s always going to be there. I’m always going to wonder if…”

“If you’re nothing more to her than a project?”

“Exactly.”

“Then don’t be one.”

“What?”

Riley sighed loudly and spoke more succinctly. “You don’t want to be a project, then stop. Acting. Like. One.”

“Okay, repeating the words louder and slower isn’t helping. And I’m not acting like a project.”

“You kind of are. You’re insecure about this trip, and that tells people you lack confidence and therefore need help.”

“That’s not what I’m—”

“It’s exactly what you’re doing. You can deny it all you want, but it’s how people see it. I don’t agree with it, and I don’t like it for you, but…it is what it is.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Just stop being insecure?”

“Yup.”

Owen jumped to his feet and began to pace. “Don’t you think if it was that easy I would have done it already? Do you think I enjoy being like this?”

“You must, or you would have made some attempt at changing,” Riley said.

“I have!” Owen cried out. “I went to Vegas, rode in a helicopter, camped out, and made love in a tent under the stars! I gambled, and I stood up for Darcy against this giant of a man who could have snapped me like a twig! Believe me, I have made more than my share of attempts to change! And you know what? Why should I? For my entire life, you’ve all told me there’s nothing wrong with me. And yet now you’re sitting here telling me I need to change? Which is it, Riley? What the hell am I supposed to do? Which guy am I supposed to be?”

“You’re supposed to be you. Just…you with some confidence. Believe in who you are. You’re a rock star, Bro. No different than me—just in a different field.”

Owen gave a mirthless laugh and collapsed back down on the couch. “Hardly.”

“It’s true. Or don’t you remember what Mom used to call us?”

The quick squeeze of his heart almost made him gasp as he began to smile. “Superman and Clark Kent,” he replied.

“We’re the same, Owen. You’re just my mild-mannered alter ego.”

“I wouldn’t have minded wearing the cape a time or two.”

Riley laughed. “Nah…too much pressure. Trust me. It’s not so great to have the eyes of the world on you. I’d love to be behind the scenes and just be able to live my life. Especially now, with a baby on the way.”

And just like that, the subject changed, and Owen felt good about it. This was who they were and how it was supposed to be. They talked about anything and everything, and it was always comforting when his mega-famous brother was able to show his more human and down-to-earth side. It was special to him mainly because it was something Riley didn’t show to many people.

They talked so long that Owen had room service bring up his dinner while Riley prepared his own, and then they switched to Skype and ate dinner together. They talked about their family and all of the babies and how their brothers were all handling fatherhood. Conversation flowed from one topic to another, and through it all, they laughed and encouraged, and more importantly…they forgave.

* * *

It was after eleven when they finally hung up, and Owen felt completely at peace. He knew what he had to do, and although it didn’t make him happy, he knew it was the only way he could move forward.

Standing, he collected his dinner tray, put it outside in the hall for housekeeping to pick up, and then quietly closed the door. There was paperwork he needed to do, but he was too relaxed to do it. He moved around the room—closing the curtains, turning down the bed—and then stripped down to his boxers and turned off all but one light before grabbing his iPad and sitting on the bed.

He contemplated calling Brooke, but it was late, and even though he knew she would be awake, he had been talking for hours and was relishing the quiet.

It was probably better for them not to talk. Not tonight. Besides being completely talked out, he felt…raw. His emotions had been put through the ringer during his conversation with Riley. Not that it was a bad thing—they had cleared the air, and Owen felt good about it. All of the other topics—especially their family and specifically their mother—were doing Owen in at the moment.

He swiped the tablet screen, tapped on the photo app, and immediately pulled up a picture of Lillian Shaughnessy. So young. So happy. So beautiful. Closing his eyes, Owen inhaled deeply and swore he could smell her perfume. Leaning back against the pillows, he swallowed hard, telling himself not to cry.

“It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair, sweetheart?”

“Just once I want to wear the cape,” Owen said with a pout. “All the time Riley gets to wear it, and he doesn’t share. You always tell us to share.”

Lillian looked at her far-too-serious child and smiled, smoothing a hand over his hair. “Why do you want to wear the cape so bad?”

“Because that would make me Superman. I want to be Superman! Why can’t Riley be Clark Kent for once?”

She stood, walked over to the pantry, pulled out a plastic container, and placed it on the kitchen table in front of Owen before taking the lid off. Oatmeal raisin cookies. Then she poured him a glass of milk and placed it next to him before taking her seat.

“Do you know why Superman is so great?” she asked, taking a cookie and breaking it in half. She handed one half to Owen and then took a small bite of her own half.

“Of course,” Owen replied, examining the cookie in his hand. “His superpowers. He has superhuman strength and speed, X-ray vision, superhuman hearing, heat vision, he can fly, and he has superbreath! Did you know that? It’s like freeze breath!”

With a smile, Lillian said, “Wow! That is a lot!”

Owen put the cookie down and rested his face in his hand. “Exactly. And Riley gets to do all of it.”

“Does he?” Lillian asked lightly. “I don’t see him flying around the house, and he certainly doesn’t have superhuman hearing or he’d be in here trying to get some of these cookies.”

He looked at her and seemed to consider her words. At age seven, he knew he put a lot of pressure on himself to think things through before acting on them. No one else did, but it made him feel better. “But he has the cape—”

“It’s just part of the costume. You and I both know Riley can’t fly. He can sing like an angel, but he can’t fly, baby.” She gently ruffled his hair. “Now you, my sweet boy, you have superpowers that no one else has and you don’t need a costume to bring out.”

His eyes went wide as he turned in his seat to look at her. “I do?”

She nodded. “You sure do!”

“What? What is it? What’s my superpower?”

She studied him for a moment. “You have the ability to see into the sky and talk to the stars,” she said softly. “They twinkle just for you, you know.”

He blushed but couldn’t help but smile. “Mom—”

Lillian nodded, and her expression sobered. “It’s true. You are the smartest boy I know, and when you put your mind to something, you can make it happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, the planets all lined up just because you told them to.”

“I don’t think so. But I wouldn’t mind seeing a bunch of shooting stars or a meteor shower,” he said with wonder. “That would be cool.”

“Ooh…I would like that too. We’ll have to do some research and find out where and when we can see them.”

“You can’t get a schedule for shooting stars, Mom,” he said with a giggle and then picked up his cookie and took a bite. “But maybe we can see about a meteor shower.” He paused. “We’d probably have to stay up all night and camp out.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Really? You promise?”

She nodded. “And I’ll tell you what, not only will we stay up all night and camp out, but I’ll get you your very own superhero cape.”

“You will?”

She nodded again. “Even though I think you are the perfect Clark Kent, especially when you wear your glasses. You’re very handsome.”

He blushed again. “Mom—”

“Come on,” she whispered, leaning in close and kissing his cheek. “Let’s sneak a few more cookies before anyone else realizes we have them.”

No one made oatmeal raisin cookies like his mom.

And they never did get to camp out and see a meteor shower. Life had always gotten in the way, and there’d never been the time.

Slowly, reverently, he touched the screen, as if touching her face. “I miss you, Mom,” he said quietly. “Every day.”

So many times he wondered what she would think of him now—had he grown into the kind of adult she would be proud of? Would she be tired of listening to him spout scientific facts and statistics? Or would she feel sad to see how he was still struggling with being social? Or disappointed because he was so different from his siblings?

He knew the answer to all of those questions.

She’d be proud of him. She’d love listening to him, and she’d encourage him every chance she got and tell him that she would never be disappointed in him.

Because she loved him and accepted him. Always.

And at that moment, he wished there was another woman who would do the same.

* * *

“I…I don’t understand,” Brooke said, staring at Owen with wide eyes.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t go to Red Rock with me.”

“But…why?” She was completely confused. They had been having an amazing day—they’d gone to the museum in the morning and enjoyed the smaller crowds since it was a Thursday, and then they’d gone out for lunch. Afterward they had gone to the planetarium, and Brooke was enjoying the cosmic wonder show they were watching.

Until now.

“I just feel it’s something I need to do on my own,” he said, but his eyes were on the screen.

She wanted to scream and demand to know why and why he had chosen right now—in the middle of a movie!—to tell her this. Her first instinct was to get up and storm out, but she wouldn’t. For starters, she hated to make a scene. And second, she wasn’t going to let him ignore her input. She’d make him explain himself—to her face—when the film was over.

So she sat and silently fumed. No matter how hard she tried, Brooke couldn’t get back into the movie, and her mind raced trying to come up with why he was doing this. What had changed? What had she done wrong to make him want to push her away?

Was she too clingy because of her uncle’s illness?

Was she making too many demands on his time?

Or pushing him for more of a commitment?

Hell no, to all of them! If anything, he had been the one pushing for their time together! Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but in the beginning it had all been him. He had wanted her to go home to meet his family, and he was the one who insisted on staying with her when her uncle had gotten out of the hospital. So then why turn her away now?

She looked around and wondered when the hell this movie was going to end, glaring at Owen out of the corner of her eye. He seemed completely unfazed. Like he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on her.

When the lights finally came on, Brooke calmly picked up her purse and walked out of the theater a few feet ahead of Owen. They walked in silence until they were outside the planetarium, and then she quickly made her way to one of the benches before she turned and faced him.

“What the hell, Owen?” she demanded and felt a kick of satisfaction when he paled slightly. “What’s going on with you? Why would you say something like that to me in the middle of a movie?”

“I…um…” He began to nervously look around. “Can we… Let’s find someplace else to talk.”

“Like another movie theater? No, thank you.”

“Look, you know I tend to say exactly what I’m thinking. I’m sorry I did it the way I did. That was wrong.”

Well…at least he knows it, she thought.

“Can we go someplace where it’s more private?” he asked, taking her hands in his.

And there it was again—something in his eyes, and she heard it in his voice. Something was going on, and she wanted to deny it. Ignore it. Pretend she didn’t notice. Without answering, she tugged him toward the sidewalk and quickly hailed a cab. Once inside, she gave the driver the name of Owen’s hotel.

Owen looked at her quizzically but said nothing. Their fingers were still entwined, and she gave him a sexy smile. And that seemed to confuse him even more.

They drove in silence.

They walked through the hotel lobby in silence.

They rode up in the elevator in silence.

When they were in Owen’s room, he said her name, but she quickly put her finger over his lips to silence him.

“I don’t want to talk,” she said, leaning in close so when she moved her fingers, their lips were almost touching. “I missed you last night. And right now, I need you.”

Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was a little manipulative. But it was also the truth. She had missed him—missed the warmth of him sleeping beside her, the feel of his arms around her. And she had a feeling that if they started talking, she wasn’t going to like what he had to say. So she was stalling. Avoiding. But that didn’t for one minute minimize that she truly needed this right now.

Him.

Owen swallowed hard, his gaze dark and serious. “Brooke—”

“Please,” she whispered. “Just…please.”

All hell broke loose after that. She loved this about him—loved to make him lose control. While she loved it when he was tender and sweet with her—when their lovemaking was tender and sweet—she loved unleashing the beast in him even more.

His hand fisted in her hair, and he tugged, her head falling back to expose the slender column of her neck. Then his mouth was there, and she couldn’t help but moan. When Owen’s other arm banded around her waist and she was pressed up against him from head to toe, she knew she’d made the right decision.

This wouldn’t solve anything.

It certainly didn’t mean she had forgotten what he’d said earlier.

But right now it was everything she wanted.

He was everything she wanted.

* * *

Owen held her close as they both tried to catch their breath.

Brooke was exhausted and sweaty, her heart was racing, and she felt completely boneless. And she couldn’t help the smile on her face.

He kissed the top of her head before he rolled away from her and sat up. She was about to question what he was doing, but she watched as he stood, walked over to the mini-fridge, and pulled out two bottles of water. Handing one to her, he climbed back onto the bed and under the sheet with her—but he didn’t touch her.

They drank in silence, and Brooke knew—she just knew—this was it.

She hadn’t changed anything.

She had simply delayed the inevitable.

“Brooke…”

Straightening, she took a steadying breath and braced herself for whatever it was he had to say.

“How do you feel about me?” he asked, but he wasn’t looking at her, he was studying the bottle of water in his hands.

“Seriously? After what we just shared, you have to ask?” she said teasingly.

But he didn’t laugh.

Didn’t even crack a smile.

“I’m serious. How do you feel about me? Us? This relationship?”

Reaching over, Brooke took one of his hands in hers and kissed it. “I’m crazy about you, Owen. I love being with you and I miss you when we’re not together. What’s going on? What’s this all about?”

She wanted to tell him she was in love with him—had been practically since the beginning—but she didn’t want to scare him off. She had a feeling he was a flight risk at this point.

Turning his head, he looked at her. His expression was sad. “When you were doing your volunteer work in the schools, did you ever meet anyone like me?”

That was an unexpected turn. “Like you?”

He nodded. “You know…quiet. Shy. Socially awkward.”

She made a face at him. “You keep using that phrase, and I don’t believe it applies to you. Shy, yes. Awkward, no. You do just fine in social situations, Owen.”

He slowly pulled his hand away. “So…did you?”

As much as she couldn’t understand why, she knew he wasn’t going to let this go. “Of course. That was my goal—I told you that. I worked with the kids who were quiet and having trouble fitting in. They were all great kids who just needed a little encouragement.”

“And what did you do to encourage them?” he asked quietly.

Her back stiffened a little. What exactly was he implying? “I taught them how to draw and paint. I encouraged them to use their creativity to speak to others.”

Owen nodded. “Did you date any of them?”

Ah… Now she got it.

And it pissed her off.

Jumping from the bed, Brooke stalked naked across the room and began getting dressed. As soon as her panties were on and her bra was in place, she looked at him. “Most of them were under the age of fifteen,” she snapped. “I was twenty-three. So no, Owen, I didn’t date any of them.”

She quickly finished dressing and noticed he hadn’t moved from the bed. And it just angered her more.

“Is that what this is all about? You think I’m looking at you as a way to ease my guilt over how I treated my brother? That’s just sick, Owen. You know that, right?” she cried, and when he didn’t answer, she wanted to scream. “For your information, I haven’t done volunteer work in a couple of years. It was very emotional for me, and the hoops I had to jump through with the school systems made it nearly impossible to do any good. And it occurred to me I was doing it for the wrong reasons. As much as I knew I wanted to do it to show these kids that they were special and it didn’t matter if the popular kids liked them or if they had a ton of friends, the truth was I was doing it to try to redeem myself! I was the mean girl! I was that bitch everyone looks back on and says how much they hated! And no matter how many kids I taught to draw and like themselves, I couldn’t change what I’d done, and I couldn’t bring my brother back!”

She scooped up her purse and slid on her shoes before she faced him again.

“I never saw you as anything except a man I wanted to know, a man I wanted to spend time with. You were never a scientist to me or a project or a way to assuage my guilt—you were always Owen. I love that you’re shy! I love that you blush when I smile at you! Damn it, Owen, I love you!” Then she snorted with disgust. “But the joke’s on me because it was all one-sided. Talk about reverse snobbery.”

“Brooke,” he began, but there was little behind his voice.

“No,” she interrupted. “It’s true. You can sit here in judgment of me for who I am—or who I was. And I get it because I still do it to myself all the damn time. But at the same time that you’re judging me, you’re doing the exact same thing you claim others did to you.” She took a step toward the bed, her hand over her rapidly beating heart. “I know the things I did, and I have to live with them every day for the rest of my life. I don’t need you sitting here waiting for me to do it to you.”

Owen went to stand, but she put a hand out to stop him.

“Don’t!” she snapped and willed her tears that were starting to blind her not to fall. “Just…don’t. You don’t have to worry, Owen. I won’t be at Red Rock. I won’t bother you. You don’t have to worry about me trying to fix you.” Then she turned and walked toward the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she looked at him one last time. “There was never anything wrong with you that needed to be fixed.”