CHAPTER FORTY
My heart collapses in on itself. I put my hands on Rama’s chest and feel the wound there. I touch his still, dearly loved face with bloody hands. A howl locks in my throat.
Around me, noise and chaos erupts. Vale guards, who were stationed to keep the crowds in line, now herd them away. Sybilla has her hands pressed over her mouth and tears flood her eyes. Max is on Rama’s other side. He gently closes my friend’s eyes and reaches for one of my bloody hands, holding it so tight it almost reminds me that I’m still anchored to the world. Almost.
Then Max lets go of my hand and stands. I hear his voice, cracked down the middle, genuinely and truly shocked: “I never really believed you’d go this far. How could you, Alex?”
“It had to be done,” he says. His voice is unyielding, defiant.
The sound of it splinters the howl of grief stuck in my throat, stilling my hands’ frantic attempts to wake Rama from a sleep there’s no coming back from, punching a hole in the chaos and the rage and the unbearable guilt. This is my fault, all my fault. And not just because I planted the seed of the idea in Amba’s mind, saving myself and sealing Rama’s death instead, but because none of this would have ever happened if I hadn’t fired an arrow at a fish.
Watch, Esmae. Watch the forest burn.
I rise and face Alexi. This is not the golden hero of the star system. This is not the brother I’ve come to know and love over the past few months. That brother was a lie; here is reality, this hard, stony boy who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.
“You killed him,” I say.
“I didn’t mean to kill the prince. I’m sorry for that.”
“No, you didn’t mean to kill him.” My voice breaks. “You just meant to kill me. I’m your sister. You tricked me into a duel just so you could break the rules and murder me.”
“I’m sorry.” It has a false, hollow ring to it.
“No, you’re not. Not yet. But you will be.”
“Esmae,” Max says.
I step so close to Alexi that we’re scarcely a foot apart. The air turns white between us.
“People will remember today,” I say. “They’ll remember it as the day Alexi Rey abandoned his honor and fell from glory.” I touch his face, my thumb leaving a bloody streak across his cheek, saying good-bye to the brother I never really had. “You will have the war you wanted so badly, Alex. Elvar and Max have held back on Kali; they’ve watched and waited to see if you would ever rise against them, but that’s over now.”
“Don’t,” says Max. His voice is raw, as if he can see the future unfolding in front of us. As if he can see what fate I’m about to seal into stone for myself. “Esmae, don’t.”
I was such a fool. The girl who stood in front of a war council and pleaded for a truce. I cared about Kali, about peace, about saving everyone, and let my best friend die instead.
They say the gods’ favorites can wreak havoc with their words. I am one of those favorites. Beloved by gods.
And so I wreak havoc.
“People will remember today, because today is the day we start a war. It will be fierce and bitter and I will repay every betrayal, every lie, and every drop of Rama’s blood a thousand times over. I won’t stop until the world is on fire. I will win. And I swear this, Alexi: I swear I will break you before the end.”