Halston

This has got to be some kind of joke.

I’m wandering the halls of Cecily and Roger Hawthorne’s Sag Harbor estate completely lost and disoriented. All I did was come inside to use the restroom five minutes ago, and now I’m in the west wing of the beast’s castle. I’m pretty sure the candelabra is going to start singing to me if I don’t get the hell out of here soon.

A wall of family portraits seems vaguely familiar … maybe we passed that on the way to the dining room earlier?

Stopping, I linger in front of them, studying the black and white photos displayed in museum quality arrangements. A large photo on the end catches my eye after a minute. A man who looks exactly like Ford with his dark hair, square, chiseled jaw, and hooded eyes stands in front of an old car, his arms crossed and the ocean in the background.

“That was my father.”

His voice startles me, and I take a step back.

“Ford.” I release a breath, my palm resting over my frenzied heart. “Hi.”

He moves toward me but keeps a safe distance, studying me, taking me in like it’s the first time all over again.

“It’s good to see you again,” I say. “You look … amazing.”

And he does. The tanned skin, the longer hair, the look in his eyes like he wants to devour me … it’s working quite nicely for him.

My attention falls to his hands, which are hooked at his sides. I can’t help but to wonder how they’d feel in my hair, under my clothes, tracing my mouth, sliding inside me.

He glances past my shoulder before tightening his mouth into a hard line, and then he pushes past me.

“Wait, so you’re just going to walk away?” I ask.

Ford stops, releasing a hard breath before turning to me. “Yeah. I am.”

I wince, refusing to accept that I’ve come this far only to be disregarded by the only man I’ve ever loved.

“I’m really glad you were able to move on so easily,” I say. “Really glad life just went on for you.”

Lines spread across his forehead. “Yeah, looks like we both moved on just fine. Good job landing my stepbrother. Real winner you got there.”

“You’re jealous.” I smirk.

“More like disappointed. Thought you had better standards than that. Guess people change.”

“I’m not with him, Ford.” I step closer, taking my time and approaching him like a handler would approach a stray dog in an alley. “We work together. I do his PR. He asked me to come as his wedding date.”

Ford doesn’t flinch. “That’s not what he’s telling everyone.”

“I know. And we’ve had that talk. Many, many times.” I shake my head. “He has a hard time taking ‘no’ for an answer, and he’s having an even harder time accepting the fact that nice houses and fast cars don’t really do it for me. He likes me, Ford. But I don’t like him. Unfortunately, I’m still hung up on somebody that I used to know.”

“That ship’s sailed, Halston.” His words sting, but I refuse to take them at face value. There’s something else going on here, something I’ve yet to pinpoint.

“Are you still working in education?” I ask.

He scoffs. “Seriously?”

“I’ll take that as a no …”

His hand drags through his hair, his head tilting back as he groans.

“What are you doing now?” I ask.

Ford contemplates his answer, or maybe he contemplates whether or not he wants to give me one at all. “I’ve been traveling. Internationally. Doing contract work.”

“Makes sense. I tried to find you a few years ago,” I admit. “Trail went cold in New York. Assumed you left the country, but I never really knew for sure.”

He nods, his silence indicative of the fact that he doesn’t want to be here, having small talk with me.

“I think about you all the time,” I tell him before he walks away and I never get the chance again.

He says nothing, just stands there staring at me.

“You’re not going to say anything?” I chuckle, half nervous and half hurt.

“What do you want me to say?”

Shrugging, I blink away the threat of tears before it becomes noticeable from where he stands. “I don’t know. Say something.”

His palm rubs his jaw as he peers at the floor.

“I don’t understand,” I say.

His gaze flicks onto mine. “What don’t you understand?”

“We had a connection,” I say. “Something I’ve never had with anybody else, something I’ll probably never have with anybody else. We couldn’t be together then, but now? I’m almost twenty-four. I’m no longer your student. All the barriers have been removed, and you won’t even give me the time of day without acting like I disgust you.”

“Yeah, well, pretending like nothing happened has never been my strong suit.”

“I’m not asking you to pretend like nothing happened. I’m asking you to treat me like a goddamned human being. One, might I remind you, that you once claimed to love.” I step closer, invading his space, my finger pressed against his chest, which at this point is nothing more than a hollow cavity, heartless. “Oh my god. I get it. I get it now. You only wanted me when you couldn’t have me. Wow.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. You’re just like the rest of them.” I step back, jaw slack. “How the hell did I not see that?”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth.” He moves toward me this time. “Wanting you had nothing to do with whether or not I could or couldn’t have you.”

“Then why don’t you want me now? Now that you can have me?” I ask.

He pauses, his presence imposing and daunting, yet I can’t leave. Not until I get my answer.

“I waited for you,” I say, voice breaking. “You asked me to wait for you. You said you loved me. So, I waited. I waited five fucking years.”

I try to say more, but the words get stuck. My eyes burn, but I won’t cry. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me because clearly that’s what he wants.

“Halston.”

Placing my hand up, I pull in a ragged breath, gather myself, and walk away.

Lila was right.

I was an idiot for waiting.