I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth. I had gotten caught up in the heat of the moment again. Again, I wanted to take the words back, scooping them into my mouth and swallowing them like a magic trick. I didn’t babble over it this time. I just looked back at him.

I had shocked myself, and I could tell that my answer shocked him too. After the silence filled the air for a few moments, I saw a smile spread across his face. I became nervous. Had I used the right combination of words? Did I win him back?

I didn’t know what to say, and I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t saying anything either. I had laid all I had on the table. I drove over 5 hours to get here to apologize, and now I wasn’t sure he deserved or wanted an apology. I still wanted him. It was true. He was what I wanted.

If I could go back and time and change it so that I never went to the lobby to meet Tom, I would have. If I could have just stayed in bed and kept my eyes and mouth shut, I would have. It was too late now. I messed up again. He didn’t have to date me in the first place, he certainly wasn’t going to after I hurt him.

Grant had called it, though. I don’t know if he had a premonition or just experience, but he had known from the beginning we were going to have sex. Maybe it happened because he said it would. Maybe it happened because I actually wanted it to, too. Even when I looked at him now, I still wanted him.

I noticed the suitcases around the room. The furniture stayed here, but it looked like most of the things around here were being moved. The inside was just as fancy as the outside. His place was well furnished and finished, even when it was bare of all decorations. Was I too late? How long had he known he was going to be moving? He never mentioned it to me before. I guess we really never talked about much before.

I wanted to know him better, though. I wanted to be able to tell everyone his favorite movie, his pet peeves, and I wanted to know his birthday. I wanted to know if his family was as crazy as mine, and I wanted to know about what he has been doing the past 27 years. But I wasn’t going to be able to learn anything new because I blew it. Even when I didn’t do anything, I still messed things up. I was just a walking wreck. He was smarter for avoiding me. I saw that now.

A few more silent moments went by and I stood to leave. I didn’t want to stand here and be mocked by him. I had had enough damage in the past week to need to buy a new life. If he could be an escort, maybe I could too. It would get my parents off my back about money, for sure. It might even get Tom off my back for good. I clearly didn’t know what to say or do to win him back, so I was going to have to give up my dream. I turned and walked to the door. I had never done anything that soul baring before and it still didn’t work out for me.

“Wait.” I stopped and turned around. He was standing up, but wasn’t looking at me. He looked at his nails and began to pick them. That was my nervous habit, too. “I don’t know if you can have me.”

I looked at the boxes again. I wasn’t sure if he meant that in an escort way, or a timely since. Maybe neither. Maybe he thought he couldn’t handle me. He was starting to get on my nerves. “Is it because you don’t think I can take it?”

“No. It’s because I know I can’t.” He smiled at me when he said it. I felt my heart flutter. Was he beginning to flirt with me again, or was I just getting my hopes up?

“That’s too bad for you.” I flirted back, inching my way back into his apartment. “Because I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just wanted to have a little piece of you.”

“Just a little piece, huh?” He walked closer towards me too, moving as slowly as I was. He walked with meaning, but he was very playful when he did it. “How big of a piece is that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. If you can’t handle it then, I understand. All I really wanted from you was one measly date. That’s all.”

“That’s all?”

“Yep.”

“You aren’t going to tear me apart, or force me to go to another engagement party?”

I giggled. “Nope. I was just hoping to maybe go get some dinner with you. I have never been to Vegas before. But I see that that might be too much for your little heart.”

“My heart? So you aren’t using me as an escort Grant? You aren’t just trying to get me to chaperone you around the city?”

“Nope. Just trying to get you to go one a date, as date Grant and date April.”

“And there is no business arrangements? You won’t pay me for holding your hand or anything like that?”

“I won’t pay you a cent. I couldn’t if I wanted to.”

“Good.” He smiled and we were inches away. “Because you’re awful at business arrangements.”

“I know.” I was pressed up against his body and I could feel his abs through his shirt. “I’m no businessman like you.”

He quieted me with his lips. It had been too long since we had last kissed. I felt the butterflies be release more and more in my stomach, being sent out by the thousands. The way he moved his lips in mine made my legs turn to jelly. My heart was weak for him. I couldn’t have pushed him away if I had wanted to, and I knew I never would have.

He kissed me again and again, moving to my neck. He was beginning to make me gasp. I put my hands around his shoulders. He moved back up to my face and gave me one final kiss.

“So then how do you feel about sushi?”

“I love it.”

“Because,” his eyebrows perked and he looked mischievous, “we could just stay inside tonight, if you really want to.”

“As tempting as that offer is, I have never been to the city, and as soon as you said the word sushi my mouth began to water.”

“Sushi it is. But I’m paying this time.” He grabbed his billfold and stuffed it in his pocket.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

THE END