Chapter Sixteen
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Waking next to Logan was the way she wanted to start each day, but she understood he had a job that required him to leave at a moment’s notice. When his phone rang at four a.m., she could tell by his expression he knew what it was. The price of being a surgeon. You’re never really off work.
That meant her plans for today weren’t going to take place. At least, not on the schedule she’d hoped. She’d dreamt of cooking him breakfast and delivering it to him in bed. Maybe getting a little loving again before she told him she needed to talk to him.
Maybe this is better. I’ll have more time to think. With Logan around, especially naked, there certainly was no clear thinking taking place. Cori needed to choose the proper wording to deliver the blow. Logan had been so sweet and supportive when he thought she was here to write a story on the Hendersons. Telling him the truth, that she’d been using him and his family, wasn’t going paint a pretty picture.
Cori had taken a hot shower, hoping it would wake her brain enough to have a revelation as to how to proceed. Nothing. She was exactly where she’d been all morning, pacing the living room floor, riddled with guilt. I should’ve told him last night. Delaying only made the matter worse.
She could picture his eyes as he’d tenderly made love to her. Cori knew she should’ve stopped him and told him right then they needed to talk. Instead, she’d let her heart and body rule her head, and look where she was now. Having to explain that as well.
The walls of her apartment were starting to close in. Every room seemed to hold his musky scent. Fresh air was exactly what the doctor ordered. My sexy, sweet, and loving Dr. Henderson.
She couldn’t forget the last words he’d said to her as he kissed her goodbye. He’d told her it was going to be a spectacular day and to get out and enjoy it for both of them. Cori laughed to herself. That was a promise she wasn’t going to be able to keep as she couldn’t enjoy anything for herself, never mind for them both. But like a loving woman, she’d smiled, agreed, and sent him off believing all was well.
Cori grabbed her phone and walked out the door. Getting into her car, she drove without a destination. It really didn’t matter as long as she was out of the house. After an hour, she found herself parked in front of Sarah’s building. It was odd because she never stopped by out of the blue. Then again there were reasons for that. There was a fifty-fifty chance she’d find Sarah with some new guy, and Cori would be left feeling awkward.
Often she’d put the car in drive and leave without going in. Not today. She needed to talk to Sarah. It was important, and Cori needed her sister to be a sister. Not sure that’s possible. She’s always too busy, and when she isn’t, she’s too judgmental.
As she rode the elevator to Sarah’s apartment, she was mentally preparing for the I told you so comments. That was the best she could hope for. She loved her sister, but they were as opposite as could be.
As soon as Sarah opened the door, Cori knew she was in one of her moods. This wasn’t the way to start, but she wasn’t leaving. No matter what, they were family, and she should be able to lean on her at a time like this. I’ve had to be there for you so many times.
“Oh, am I glad to see you. I need a ride. My car is acting up, and I have to meet a . . . friend for lunch shortly.”
“I am here, actually, to talk to you.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “Really? Can’t this wait? I have plans.”
Cori had given up wondering if Sarah knew what a selfish bitch she sounded like, even on her decent days. It was always about her and what was important to her. She said she wanted Cori to be happy, but Sarah’s idea of happiness wasn’t hers and never would be.
Ignoring Sarah’s comment, Cori walked inside to the living room. Every time she came here she found it stuffy and unwelcoming. Maybe that’s because I’m not welcome. The room was white, from the couch to the décor, with only a splash of gold here and there. It looked more like a showroom than a living space. She was surprised Sarah didn’t have plastic runners and covers on everything.
“Cordelia, if you’re going to insist on visiting, why don’t you go and sit in the kitchen?”
Don’t want your pretty things getting ruined? It’s how she grew up, with Sarah telling her where to go, what to do, and even where to sit. That wasn’t happening anymore. She was tired of it all. Things were changing. She was changing. Cori sat back on the couch and said, “I’m comfortable here, thank you.”
Sarah stood with her hands on her hips and glared at her. “Don’t get too comfortable because you’re giving me a ride.”
“Sarah, can I ask you something?”
“If you can be quick about it, yes.”
Cori had so much built-up tension that it was about to bubble over, and Sarah was going to be the one getting burned. “How about we start over? Hi, Sarah. How are you doing? I really need someone to talk to. Do you mind if I come in?” Sarah just stared at her, so Cori continued. “This is where you would open the door and tell me I’m always welcome, and you’re always here for me.”
“I don’t know what’s bugging you, Cordelia, but you’re picking a really bad time to play these games. Like I said I have—”
“No one. That’s what you have. You have me, and I have you. Whoever you’re going to meet might be here for a day, a month or heck even a year or two, but I’m always going to be your sister.” Cori’s tone held no sweetness. Judging by the look in Sarah’s eyes, she had her attention.
“Well, that’s . . . not . . . very nice to say. But I guess I can take a few minutes and listen to what’s bothering you this time.” Sarah sat across from Cori.
It was a start, not the one she wanted, but anything was better than giving in to Sarah again or avoiding her so she didn’t have to endure her lectures. “Thank you. I wanted to talk to you about Grandpa Joe.”
“Cordelia, he’s dead. Thirty years and you’re still harping on the same issue.”
“I am. One of us has to. But I’m here because I’m not sure I will ever get the answer. I’m close, but I’m afraid I don’t want to know any longer. Does that make any sense?”
Sarah shook her head. “Nothing you say ever does. But if you’re telling me you’ve finally giving up this foolish search, I agree.” Nothing you say ever does. Foolish search. Perhaps what was foolish was believing my sister would ever care about me.
“Giving up might not be the right word. It’s just that I don’t want the past to stand between me and the future.”
Sarah stood back up. “Good. That’s settled. Now can we go?” Cori didn’t move, and Sarah let out a heavy sigh and finally gave in.
“You told me I shouldn’t do this story on the Hendersons. You were right. And I’m not going to write it any longer.”
Sarah looked surprised. “Did you say I’m right? Because I told you—”
“I did. That story will not be written by me.”
“So why are you here?”
“Because . . . it’s complicated. I’ve gotten to know them.”
“Who?”
“The Henderson family. They are not anything like I thought they were. I mean they are kind and loving and . . . welcomed me in.” I feel wanted. If not for Sarah then for herself. It was possible Sarah wasn’t capable of such emotion.
“Well, now you’re talking. I mean they’re the real deal.”
“Meaning?”
“Hello. They are one of the most influential and powerful families. It’s like you walked into a pot of gold. So tell me all about them.”
It was like a punch in the gut. She was trying to share something important with her big sister, wanted to tell her she was in love, but Sarah only saw dollar signs. “I told you, they’re wonderful people.”
“Have you been in their homes? Are they as beautiful as I imagine?”
Cori stood and angrily said, “Sarah, I feel bad for you, do you know that?”
“Why?”
“Because I have the one thing I’m not sure you’d know if it hit you on the head.”
“Cordelia, you live in a small apartment, hardly able to make ends meet. Tell me what is it you think you have that I couldn’t buy in a second?”
For the first time, her heart ached for her sister. There wasn’t any anger left inside her. It was sad to admit, but Sarah knew nothing of love. She loved things, not people and maybe not even herself. Lashing out at her, trying to make her understand, wasn’t fair to either of them. What they had, this weird relationship, is what it had always been and always would be.
“Nothing, Sarah.” Getting up, Cori asked, “So where do you want me to drop you off?”
Sarah got up and grabbed her purse. “Finally. I mean this man I met is the one. I just know it.”
Of course, he is. She dropped Sarah off downtown and went to her apartment to wait for Logan. Seeing Sarah had done one thing: it opened her eyes to how lucky she was to have him in her life. Sarah might not have wanted to hear everything Cori had to say, but she knew Logan did. Even if it wasn’t going to be easy, or what he wanted to hear, she knew deep in her heart he’d sit and listen. That is more than Sarah had ever done.
Now all I have to do is tell him.
Logan knew it wasn’t good news when Bennett called him at such an early hour. He could tell Cori thought it’d been the hospital calling him in, but that wasn’t the case. Hearing that they had information on Logan’s mother shook him to the core.
“Is she alive?”
Bennett shook his head. “I’m sorry, she’s not. She died about five years ago.”
Although he knew she was gone, hearing it confirmed made it real. He wished he’d have known before. To have met her, spoken to her. But it was over. That would never take place.
“Why couldn’t you find her?”
“Because she didn’t want to be found. She was here in the US all this time. Hiding from your father I assume.”
That I can understand. “But each woman was taken right back to Tabiq after they delivered their baby. Why wasn’t she?”
“From what I’ve learned, you were a very sick baby, and they were concerned you might not live. Your mother was kept here to breastfeed you until you were well enough to go home with James.”
“And what did he do to her after that?”
“Well, you were there with her for about six months. He stayed with her all that time, refusing to leave without you. From what I’ve learned, when you were healthy enough, he had someone take her to the airport to be sent back. But she jumped from the car, and no one found her again.”
“But you did, how?”
“This isn’t going to be easy to hear, but you have a sister.”
“I know. You’re married to her, remember?” Logan snapped back.
“No. Zoey is your half-sister. This woman is less than a year younger than you. Guess your father figured since no other man had touched your mother, he would continue to.” Bastard.
Logan was both sickened by his father and elated to hear he had a sister. “You mean my father had . . . seven children?”
Bennett nodded. “That is the number after six.
“Lucky seven.”
Bennett arched a brow. “Why do you say that?”
“Because she didn’t have to grow up living with James.” Logan was sincere. He knew the effect it had on Zoey. That man hated women for some reason.
“I agree with you, Logan. But there’s something more. Remember I told you we believe your mother was related to both Alex and Zoey’s mother?” Logan nodded. “Well, I guess your mother died due to complications from a very rare cancer. What they thought was lupus wasn’t in Zoey. It’s the same thing your mother had, but Zoey is in the early stages. Because we know, she can be treated. Your mother fighting to survive despite everything has not just given you a new sister, but saved the one you’ve known all along.”
Logan thought pacing was the better option, but now he had to sit before he fell. This had been one hell of a twenty-four-hour period. Although what he was learning had its high points, there was still the fact that his mother was gone.
He felt so cheated. They all were getting to know their mothers, and he’d never have that. But he had something they didn’t. “I want to meet her. My sister. Arrange it for me.”
“Already in the process. Just so you know, she’s married and has four children. Your family is growing quickly.” But will she want to know me? Meet me? Her father was a man I hate. What if she wants nothing to do with me either?
He was speechless as he tried to process it all. So many questions flooded his mind that he felt elated and overwhelmed at the same time. Logan wanted to know what she looked like, if she was happy, their mother was like. The list was endless, and it was useless to ask Bennett. He would save them for the day he met her.
“You’re right, it is. Speaking of that, I have a problem I need to talk to Brice about.”
“Anything you need me for?” Bennett asked.
This was one thing Bennett couldn’t answer. Why our father was such an asshole. “Not this time.” Bennett nodded as Logan headed for the door. He turned back and said, “Bennett, I really appreciate what you did for me, for my family.”
“I’d like to think I’m included.”
Logan laughed. “Yeah, that’s a hard thing for us to ever accept.”
“What is?”
“That someone wants to be part of this fucked-up family.”
Bennett laughed. “I have to admit you guys do keep it interesting.”
Logan said, “If you don’t mind, I think we’re all due for a bit of boring for a while.”
“You and me both. Now if you don’t mind, I think I hear Zoey upstairs, and I’d rather not explain why you’re here so early.”
Logan headed off to see Brice. Once again someone who wasn’t expecting him, but at least he knew Brice would be in his office. He might be married, but old habits were hard to break.
Sure enough, Brice was sitting behind his desk deep in thought as he faced his laptop. “Did you sleep here?”
Brice looked up, startled. “Don’t you ever knock?”
Logan shook his head. “I’m not sure you’d have heard me anyway. I really need to discuss something with you.”
“About?”
“James.” He didn’t want to refer to him as a father any longer. If Brice had an issue with that, too bad. He was done.
Brice closed his laptop and leaned back in his high-back leather chair. “Take a seat. Let’s talk.”
Logan was going to cut right to the point. “You knew him better than any of us.”
“If you mean I caught more beatings, then yes.”
“I know you were with him when he was dying. I’ve seen enough death to know right before a person goes, they occasionally come clean and share things they’d held on to for years. I need to know if he did that with you.” Brice’s jaw twitched, and Logan had his answer. Now all he needed was what was said between the two of them. “I don’t care if you don’t think we should know, I need to. If I’m ever going to be able to move forward, I need to understand what made him who he was.”
“Why are you asking now? Does it really matter?”
Logan nodded. “I met someone who said our grandmother hated men. Not just disliked them but hated them. That’s a powerful word. James hated women. Do you see a pattern here or is it just me? I can’t risk bringing this into a relationship.” Cori doesn’t need it. Hell, no one does.
“You’re not like him, Logan, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Brice said, leaning forward. “If you were you wouldn’t care what you brought into a relationship. Hell, you wouldn’t be capable of one.”
“Why is that? What made him that way?”
Brice let out a long exhale. “I’m telling you, Logan, it’s not something I wanted to know. Why should we both have to carry this secret?”
So you do know. “It’s my right and because I’m asking. Don’t make me find out for myself.”
“I’ll tell you, but I don’t want the others to know. It won’t help. Trust me.” Logan agreed, and Brice continued, “I’m not sure why our grandmother hated men so much, but James told me she was vicious. She physically and mentally abused him all of his life.”
“How bad?”
Brice opened his desk drawer and pulled out two glasses and poured them each a generous shot of bourbon.
“I don’t need a drink. I need answers,” Logan barked.
Brice handed him a glass anyway. “You’ll need it. I did after he told me.”
Logan took the glass but didn’t even take a sip. He wasn’t a child. What really could be worse than everything else he’d already learned?
“You know she hated men, but she thought men were nasty, disgusting creatures that only used women for sex.”
“What does that have to do with Da—James?”
“When he entered puberty, he faced what all of us do. With no man in the house to explain things, he learned on his own. He told me his mother walked in on him in his bedroom one day when he was . . . masturbating.”
Logan took a sip of bourbon. Maybe I do need this.
“She beat the hell out of him, calling him a dirty little boy. That day she had all the doors removed from every room but hers. Even his bathroom didn’t have a door or a shower liner. He never had any privacy at all. And she’d go in and check on him while he was in bed. If she caught him with an erection, she would beat him again and again until his mind made it no longer possible.”
Fuck, that’s sick. Cruel. “You’re telling me that she tortured him.”
“I am.”
“But he had us. So he obviously wasn’t so scarred he wasn’t able to have sex.”
Brice nodded. “That’s why he went to Tabiq. It was far away where he could hide his dirty little secret. He needed the women to be innocent, so they didn’t know he wasn’t . . . experienced.”
Logan downed his drink and handed Brice the glass for a refill. “But what he started there was because of—”
“Greed. And because he hated women. It was a way of always having control of them. If not here, then at least there.”
“He told you all this, and you didn’t share it with us?”
Brice arched a brow. “Do you feel any better knowing?”
He had his answer, but Brice was right, it didn’t help. If anything a very small piece of him felt bad for his father. “This is two generations of some fucking serious abuse issues. Don’t you worry about what you might do?”
“Every fucking day. Then I look at Lena and my children, and I remind myself that I am not and never will be James Henderson.”
“Brice, I don’t get it. He hated us. Why have us?” It was something that had always haunted him. Never being loved, but never let go of either. It was more of a prison than a home.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but he wanted us. He just didn’t know any other way. And he didn’t have anyone to show him. We’re the lucky ones, believe it or not. We have people in our lives who love us unconditionally. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without Lena and my children. I don’t even want to think about it.”
Logan understood that. He’d wondered that for years but without a woman or family by his side to fight for. Now he had Cori. She didn’t need to know this new development. Brice was right, no one did. “I won’t tell anyone. But there’s something you need to know.”
“Go on.”
“Our father killed Cori’s grandfather years ago.”
“Damn it. Does she know?” Brice asked.
Logan shrugged. “I haven’t brought it up yet, but I need to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Brice, I love this woman. I can’t ask her to . . . I won’t live a lie with her. That’s not the relationship I want with her.” He couldn’t believe he almost said ask her to marry him. Was that his intention? He knew he loved her but were they ready for that? I know I am.
“Are you willing to risk losing her?”
“I’m not willing to risk her finding out and hating me for it later. I’m done paying the price for James. I’m . . . just done.” He downed the second glass and got up, heading to the door. Then he turned and said, “Did Bennett tell you about my mother?” Brice nodded. “And my sister?” Brice nodded a second time. “Then I guess there’s nothing left for us to discuss.”
He walked out of the office, feeling like shit for many reasons. He normally would be pissed that Bennett shared information with Brice that he shouldn’t have, but right now none of that mattered. All Logan wanted to do was see Cori tonight and tell her where he was when she thought he was sick in bed. I won’t lose her. She loves me.
He got into the limo and leaned back, resting his head against the seat. His head was spinning, and his stomach was churning. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d had anything to eat or drink, and those two glasses of bourbon were catching up with him. Pressing the intercom, he told the driver to take him home. I need to pull myself together first. Then see Cori.