Chapter 7

IF I was dead, everything would not smell like manure. This was my logic, so I figured I was still breathing. When I opened one eye, I heard a gasp.

“Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

My other eye opened, and I saw Everett. “Hey,” I said, but my voice sounded bad, scratchy and rough.

“Just lay there and don‘t move and try not to scare the shit out of me anymore for one day.” I nodded.

“Don‘t move!” he barked at me. “The ambulance is coming.”

“No, I don‘t wanna go to the hospital.”

“We‘ll see,” he said, hovering over me.

But I knew my body better than anyone else, so when he turned to look, for the paramedics or the ambulance or whoever he was expecting, I rolled sideways and got to my feet.

“What the fuck?” he yelled at me as a cheer went up from the stands and Dusty and Chris and Tom and Pierce and Chase joined us in the ring.

Dusty was all over me, and I put one arm across his shoulders and the other on Chase and let them help me from the middle of the arena. They walked me to a gate, lifted me off my feet and carried me through. On the other side, the paramedics were there on standby, and I was put on the back of their truck so they could check me over.

I told them my name and the name of my ranch, Dusty explained what had happened since apparently they had not seen my spectacular ride for themselves, and Chase told them how I had fallen and how hard and how fast. He was worried about my head.

Dusty was worried about my neck.

Chris was concerned about my ankle because I couldn‘t put any weight on it.

Everett was with Chase and worried about my head. He felt that my pupils were way too big.

“Did I win?” I asked Glenn Holloway as he reached us.

“Fuck no,” he growled at me. “You were only on the horse like two seconds.”

“Really? It felt like so much longer.”

“I expect so,” he said, reaching out and curling a stray lock of hair around my ear. “Jesus Christ, Stefan, my father said you didn‘t have to ride.”

“He was late.” I smiled at him as the nice lady paramedic shone a light in my eyes.

“Okay, Mr. Joss,” she said softly.

“Stef,” I corrected her.

“Stef.” She smiled, gesturing behind me. “We‘re gonna have you lie down, all right?”

“Why?”

“Because I think you have a concussion.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, really.”

“A bad one?”

“I‘m not sure, so we‘re going to take a trip to the hospital.” “I‘m coming with you,” Glenn told me.

My smile was wide. “Two trips in one day. How bright are we?”

“Oh, yeah,” the nice lady paramedic said sarcastically. “This whole rodeo thing is brilliant.”

“We‘ll follow,” Everett told me.

“No, no, no.” I grabbed his hand as I saw spots. “Stay here and pick up any trophies and make sure that the ranch participation and mine is recorded.”

“One of us needs to go with you,” he argued with me, and I noticed that his expression, usually twisted into a scowl, was really very concerned.

“Don‘t worry. Rand really isn‘t going to hurt you.”

“It‘s you I‘m worried about, Stef, not Rand.”

And I would have said something comforting, but I suddenly needed to throw up.

THE concussion was mild, my reaction to it, for whatever reason, was not. I was sensitive to light, I was nauseous, and my head was throbbing so hard that they gave me a shot of pain medication. After that, I was just fine. They wanted me to stay overnight, but I didn‘t want to. I had to be in a truck at four in the morning.

“I‘ll watch him,” Glenn promised the doctor, and I waved.

My ankle, as it turned out, was not the problem. I had broken my right fibula, which was better than breaking my tibia or my ankle, but which still hurt like crazy. I was given a second dose of pain medication after they put my leg, from knee to foot, in a cast.

“I‘m surprised you didn‘t break your neck the way you landed,” Glenn told me, and from the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice I was guessing that I had scared the crap out of him. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

I tipped my head at his cast. “Grazing rights, asshole, just like you.”

“But I‘ve ridden a bull before.”

“Which makes the fact that you got hurt just like I did that much funnier,” I laughed at him. “What time is it anyway?” “It‘s a little after six,” he told me.

“Well, are you driving me back to the rodeo, or are we walking?”

“I have a date,” he told me. “We‘re catching a cab.”

I agreed and asked for pain medication to go. The doctor, Norman Aust, did not want me to leave, but after I lied and said that Glenn would watch me like a hawk, he agreed to let me go.

“Sorry,” I told him as I hobbled out on my crutches, “I think doc thinks that you‘re my boyfriend.”

“That‘s alright,” Glenn grumbled, walking behind me.

“Oh yeah? It‘s okay my doc thinks you‘re a homo? Thinks you‘re queer?”

“God, you are fucked up. Get in the cab.”

I got in and kept up a steady, rambling dialogue for Glenn all the way back to the campgrounds. Once we were there, he was going to walk me back to my trailer, but I had called ahead, and Everett and Dusty were there to meet me.

“Hey!” I greeted them, and the looks I got of absolute horror were funny.

They talked while I hobbled, and halfway there I stopped and explained to them that the whole walking with crutches thing was exhausting.

“This really sucks.” I smiled at them. “And don‘t look at me like I‘m crazy. I‘m not crazy.”

Everett just shook his head as he took my crutches away, put my arm over his shoulder and waited while Dusty positioned himself under my other one. I moved a lot faster with them on either side of me.

My shower was an experience, and I wanted a nap when I was done. Wrapping my cast in garbage bags was a pain in the ass, but since I couldn‘t get it wet, I had no choice. And I was dirty and gritty and there was sand in my hair, so I had to get clean. Bella put her head in my lap when I was done and didn‘t even try and wrestle my socks from me like she normally did. I stretched one of my black socks over the outside of the bottom of the cast because otherwise, my toes would freeze off. I had no idea how I was going to drive or ride Ruby or do anything at Rayland‘s ranch. I was thrilled the rodeo was officially over.

Dusty and Everett and the others came to collect me, and you would have thought that all of them had broken their legs instead of me. I had to take some Vicodin, and because I hadn‘t eaten all day, it made me kind of loopy and a little queasy. I needed food.

They all stuck close to me through dinner, and then I was escorted to the bleachers. I sat there and clapped and cheered, whistled and yelled when every category was called. The only two events that another ranch won were the bull riding that Glenn Holloway had taken and the saddle bronc, which the Twin Oaks took. But my ride was not the worst, only second to the worst, which filled me with a small amount of pride. I was pleased to see Glenn walk up onto the stage and receive the appreciation of the crowd. Rachel Webber, his date for the evening, was glowing.

A different band took center stage the second night; this one was tame, all covers, no original music at all. But they were decent, and the dancing was in full swing as I was looking for Rayland Holloway. I wanted to find out where to meet him at four in the morning. I didn‘t see the man anywhere, but I saw Glenn, and even though I didn‘t want to interrupt his date with Rachel, I crossed to the table where they were.

“Stef,” Glenn greeted me with a warm smile, standing up to take my hand. “I never did thank you for earlier. Apparently that bull was gonna stomp all over me if you hadn‘t gotten there when you did. I guess a lot of people got it on their phones, and between last night and today, I think you‘re a hit on YouTube.”

And that was funny for like a second and a half.

Rand.

I was so dead if he saw it.

I forced a smile. “Well, you returned the favor when you went with me to the hospital, so thank you back.”

“You all right on those?” He gestured at the crutches.

“Sure.”

“Maybe you should rest, huh?”

“Maybe,” I agreed, looking at Rachel. “You look beautiful tonight.” She flushed beet red, and I bent and kissed her cheek.

“And you are very good for my ego, Mr. Joss.” She beamed up at me. “I‘m so glad you‘re all right. You gave us all quite a scare earlier.”

“Thank you, ma‘am.”

My eyes were back on Glenn and his on me. “Are you still coming home with us tomorrow?”

“I am if you tell me where to meet you.”

“I‘ll come by in the morning and get you and your horse and your damn dog,” he told me, his eyes glowing.

“She‘s a cute dog. You‘ll like her.”

“My dad says she‘s scary as hell.”

“She won‘t be scary to you.” “Good.” He nodded.

“I‘ll see you in the morning then.”

“In the morning.”

I left them and found a seat to watch the line dancing. It was a much smaller crowd than the previous night, and most people were leaving, as it was already Sunday night a little after nine and most people had to work the following day. I was enjoying watching Rand‘s men dancing and didn‘t even notice when Carly Landry took a seat beside me until she cleared her throat, and I turned my head.

“Hi,” I greeted her.

“I‘m so sorry about my brother, Stefan.”

“It‘s okay.” I went back to watching the dancers, using my crutch to move a chair over next to me so I could elevate my leg. “He loves you. I get it.”

“But it doesn‘t excuse him hitting you.”

“I‘ll live,” I told her, adjusting my ankle on the chair to take the weight of the cast.

“I think that….”

I waited a second before I looked back at her. “You think what?”

Her face was pinched with pain. “I‘m sorry, but I think just like my brother does, that this is a phase for Rand. He‘s going to come out of this, and when he does, he‘s going to come looking for me.”

She was holding on to that hope so hard, so tight. I was going to say something when my phone rang. Seeing the number, his number, on my display, my heart sank.

“Excuse me,” I said, slowly getting to my feet, the crutches hard to maneuver while I was trying to answer my phone.

“Oh no, Stef, please stay.”

“I have to take this. My….” I hesitated. I didn‘t want to hurt her feelings. “Best friend wants to talk to me.”

“Oh, of course.” She smiled at me. “But please do come back.”

“Do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

I left one crutch leaning on the table. “Will you ask my friend Everett to bring this back to the trailer for me? You remember him from the awards, right?”

“Sure.” She smiled at me.

I nodded, and started walking away with one crutch as I hit the answer button on my phone. “Hi, I missed you.”

“Did you? I don‘t know how. You‘ve been so busy saving people from fuckin‘ bulls!”

“Wait—”

“Jesus Christ, Stef, you must‘ve taken ten years off my life with that shit!”

Oh, he was mad, and he didn‘t even know the best part yet. “See—”

“Your ass better be in the truck headed for home right fucking now!”

I laughed at him. “That‘s actually not possible.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Well, I promised—”

“And what the fuck were you doing parading around in those jeans and that shirt last—”

“Parading?”

“You are not allowed to put on your fuck-me clothes if I ain‘t there to do the fucking!”

And for whatever reason, I could not stop smiling. “Is that right?” The growl of frustration made my smile nuclear.

“Did you think I was hot?”

“Stefan, so help me God, I am going to beat the living—”

“Who sent it to you?”

“Stef—”

“Who?” I laughed, wondering if it was Everett or Chris or Dusty.

“Pierce.”

“That little narc,” I chuckled. “It‘s always the quiet ones.”

“You are in so much trouble.”

“Why? I came to save the grazing rights, Rand. How can I be in the wrong?”

“Did it ever occur to you that I own a very successful business and that one of the marks of a good businessman is being organized? What makes you think I didn‘t know the damn rodeo was this weekend?”

“You had no idea,” I told him, “until someone told you—I‘m thinking Zach.”

He grunted.

“Don‘t get all self-righteous on me. That‘s bullshit.”

“Fine, I didn‘t know, but I wouldn‘t have wanted you there alone.”

“I‘m not alone. I have half the ranch with me!”

“But I‘m not there!”

“So what? You‘re where you needed to be, and I‘m where I needed to be. It all worked out for the best.”

“Why didn‘t you tell me where you were going?”

“Why didn‘t you tell me you missed this rodeo for the last two years?”

“Because it had nothing to do with you or us, so why would I mention it?”

“Rand, I don‘t just wanna know about stuff that affects you and me. I wanna know about everything. And I definitely want to know everything about your family.”

There was a long silence, and I had to stop and lean on the fence. I really needed to lie down.

“Rand?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you need to know everything?”

“Because if I‘m really your partner and you want me to stick around, then your family is my family.”

“You know I want you to stick around.”

“Then?”

He took a breath. “Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay my family is your family, asshole.”

I laughed at him. “I appreciate it.”

“I want you to come home.”

“I will.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“God, what a mess.”

I was about to give the man heart palpitations, so I decided to change the subject while I still could. “You know, all the guys have been worried about what you were gonna do to them when you found out they came with me.”

“They‘re your men as much as mine. That all made sense to me.” God, I loved him.

“And I understand since I didn‘t tell you, why you raced off to protect my rights, your rights to—”

“I did it for you, Rand. I mean I know that the ranch is half mine, and I used that this weekend to my benefit, but when I think of it, I think of you.”

He was quiet.

“Rand?”

“I used to think of the ranch and think of my father.” He took a breath. “You saying that you think of me––that might be the best thing you‘ve ever said, after you love me and you were gonna stay.” My throat hurt.

“But you should have told me what you were doing, where you were going.”

“Yes, I should have.”

“I‘m sorry, did you say I was right?”

“Don‘t be an ass.”

“According to you, I already am one.”

I laughed at him. “Hey, I know this is gonna sound stupid since I came here and everything, but I was thinking that maybe you should give

Rayland the grazing rights?”

It took him a minute to respond. “What are you talking about?”

“You don‘t really need to graze the cattle here, do you?” Nothing.

“Rand?”

“No, I don‘t.”

“You have other land, but Rayland only has this and his ranch.”

“What‘s your point?”

“I just think that there‘s a lot of bad blood between you and him, and I think it would go a long way to making peace.”

“And why do I care about that?”

“Because we‘re talking about your family.”

“Lemme understand. You want me to just give the man my share of thousands of acres of land just because you think it would be a nice gesture?”

“I think it would be an olive branch.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Rand—”

“After what he just did to me? Are you kidding?”

“I just want you to think about it.”

“I‘m thinking about a lot of things, Stef, but I‘m not ready to do anything with that land right this second, all right?”

That was fair. “All right.”

“Okay, so my cousin Zach is gonna sell his ranch.” He exhaled deeply.

“Really.”

“Yeah, he‘s done. He‘s not sure what he wants to do, but he‘s tired of ranching, and from seeing his men this weekend, they‘re tired of being there with him. I offered a few of them jobs, and two of them are taking me up on it.”

“And the others?”

“The others don‘t wanna work for a gay man.”

“I‘m sorry, Rand.”

He grunted. “It‘s their loss, Stef. It‘s a privilege to work on the Red Diamond. I won‘t ever beg anyone to take my hand.”

His pride made me smile. I loved the confidence in the man‘s voice.

“Except for you, that is,” he laughed softly. “You, I will beg.”

“It‘s not necessary.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Okay then, Stef, please come home.”

“Not yet.”

“See, it ain‘t workin‘ not to beg.”

“I have things to do first.”

“Like what?”

“Like getting you to give the grazing rights to Rayland.”

“We just put that conversation to bed.”

“Let‘s wake it up.”

“So you‘re saying if I agree to give the grazing rights to my uncle right now, you would come home?” It was my one card to play.

“Yes.”

“Done,” he said without pause.

“Great,” I sighed. “So I‘ll meet you on the White Ash, and you can give Rayland the grazing rights.”

“Oh fuck no!”

“Oh fuck no, what?”

“Oh fuck no, you are not going out to the White Ash!” I smiled into the phone. “Why don‘t you meet me there?” “Stef.” His voice lowered in warning.

“Or wait for me at home.”

“Stef.”

“I need you to see Rayland.”

“Why?”

It was not my place to say. “I just do, and Glenn needs our help.”

“Glenn? Since when do you care about Glenn?”

“Because your family should be together, Rand, not apart,” I told him. “The grazing rights will smooth the way with Rayland, and Glenn likes me so—”

“Likes you?”

“Yeah, we‘re friends.”

“You and my cousin are friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?”

Since the hospital two times, but I didn‘t want to say that, so I went with the other. “He saved me from Gil Landry.”

Beats of time passed. “I‘m sorry?”

“You know, Glenn really wants to start a restaurant, and I want to help him with that, and I really think he needs a friend, and he held my hand so tight today at the hospital that I think—”

“Held your hand?”

“Glenn is on the verge of either taking a left turn to greatness or making a right into mediocrity and loneliness.”

“That‘s very dramatic.”

I was still hopped up on pain medication. “He could be just like you if we help him.”

“Like me?”

“Yeah. Happy. You‘re happy, aren‘t you?” Silence.

“Aren‘t you?”

“Not right this second,” he groused at me.

Just thinking about him scowling on the other end made me smile.

“Yes, Stef, I‘m happy,” he admitted grudgingly. “Well then, come pick me up at the White Ash, okay?” He was silent and so was I.

“You talked to my mother, didn‘t you?”

It was lucky that I was still holding on to the corral fence. “Yes.”

He made a noise of understanding, and suddenly the light came on for me as well.

“Your dad,” I sighed.

“Of course,” he said irritably. “James Holloway never backed down from anything, least of all the truth. He told me a long time ago that

Rayland was my biological father.”

I coughed. “Your mother doesn‘t know, you know.” “Yeah, I know. Rayland doesn‘t know I know either.” Longest damn weekend of my life.

“Who told you?”

“I figured it out and then made your mother tell me.”

“How did you figure it out when no one else can?”

“Because I really look at you, and I will notice anyone else who looks like you,” I told him. “I always thought of you and Charlotte as having the exact same color eyes, but even Charlotte‘s are darker than yours. She‘s got that violet color, and Glenn‘s are cobalt, but yours are all your own except for—”

“Rayland.”

“Yeah.”

“And so, were you gonna say something to me?”

“You know I was. How could I not?”

“Even though it wasn‘t your secret to tell?”

“There can‘t be anything between us, Rand, or we won‘t make it.”

“I agree, and so you know, that means something to me. The fact that you would take my side before anyone else, that you would tell me even if you thought I wouldn‘t believe you—that‘s a big deal, Stef.”

“But I had no doubt that you would believe me.”

“What? You think I would take your word over anyone else‘s, even my mother‘s?”

“Of course,” I said matter-of-factly. I had been worried about how hurt Rand would be. It never even crossed my mind to think that I would need to convince him that I was telling the truth. “I know you trust me.”

He took a long breath. “I wanna see you real bad.”

The ache in his voice twisted me up inside. “Rand, let‘s just get everything out in the open, all right? Come to the ranch, talk to Rayland, talk to Glenn. Let‘s have a good old-fashioned knock-down, drag-out fight. Bring Tyler, bring Zach. I‘ll call Charlotte. It‘s time. Secrets have a way of festering. Aren‘t you sick of it?”

“I don‘t think on it much, but I would like my mother to know that I know. It might let her sleep better, and Charlotte should know that I‘m only half her brother.”

“I doubt it will change anything.”

“We‘ll see.”

He sounded sad, and it hurt to hear, but I knew that Charlotte loved him, and I knew, too, that nothing would ever change that.

“Call your mother, will you?”

“Yessir, I will.”

“And then come to the ranch and talk to Rayland.”

“All right.”

“And pick me up while you‘re at it.”

“Anything else while you‘re barking out orders?” “No, that‘s it,” I sighed happily.

“So,” he said softly. “Why did Glenn have to save you from Gil Landry?”

Amazing. After everything, all the talking we‘d done, all the revelations of the past few minutes, the man had still retained that tiny piece of information.

“Who cares?”

“Oh, I fuckin‘ care.” His voice lowered ominously. “What happened?”

“It‘s no big deal. Gil Landry took a swing at me, and Glenn stopped him from doing anything more than put me on the ground.”

There was no sound at all, like he wasn‘t even breathing.

“Rand?”

He coughed. “I‘m sorry, what?”

“You heard me,” I chuckled. “My buddy Gil really wants you to marry his sister.”

“I see.”

“So, when are you coming to Rayland‘s ranch?”

“When are you leaving?”

“At some horrible hour of the morning,” I groaned. “Jesus, Rand, four is not a time decent people wake up.”

“It‘s the time ranchers get up,” he assured me, and he was trying to sound playful, but his tone was stilted and cold.

“Rand?”

“Just let it be, all right? I‘ll see you at the ranch tomorrow.”

“I can‘t wait to see you.”

“Me too, baby.” His voice rumbled, and my heart leaped in my chest.

“I really enjoyed the rodeo, you know.”

“Next time we‘ll go together.”

“It‘s a deal,” I sighed, but my leg throbbed, and so I winced without even meaning to.

“What hurts?” he asked gently.

“Nothing.”

He chuckled, “Has anyone ever told you that you‘re a really shitty

liar.”

“Really? I think it‘s more the opposite actually.”

“Then maybe it‘s just me.”

“Could be.” I smiled into my phone.

“Tell me what‘s wrong.”

I cleared my throat. “I‘m fine. Just got a little banged up today.”

“When? I watched the video with the bull on the website, and it didn‘t look like you got hurt.”

This was news. “The rodeo has a website?”

“Yeah, it‘s what Pierce sent me the link for. They put highlights from the rodeo up to get people to come next year, you know?”

“That makes sense.”

“I‘m on the website right now.”

The warning buzzer went off in my head. “Well, shouldn‘t you—”

“Stef.”

“Yes?”

“There seems to be a…. How did you get hurt, Stef?”

I coughed. “What are you looking at?”

“I‘m waiting for something with your name on it to load.”

“It‘s probably more of me auctioning off bachelors.”

“I don‘t think so.”

“You should watch Everett and Chris doing the team roping. It was really some—”

“What is this?” he asked, talking to himself.

“Rand.”

“Man, this is taking forever.”

There was no getting around it. “Rand, you know that every rancher has to compete in the rodeo, right? I mean actually compete himself or herself to secure the grazing rights?” “Sure,” he told me.

I waited because my beautiful, sexy cowboy would work it out in a minute.

“What‘re you… wait.” I braced for an explosion.

“Oh, fuck,” he breathed out.

“I‘m fine.”

“Whah… Stef—what‘d you do?”

I took a breath. “I can‘t ride a bull like you, and after I got back from the hospital with Glenn, the only event left was the saddle bronc.” There was a catch of breath but nothing else.

“Rand?” I said after a minute because a slow feeling of dread was starting to sink into me.

“No.” He sounded like he was going to throw up. “What is—no.”

“Don‘t watch anything.”

“Why not?”

“Because it‘ll just upset you, and I‘m fine,” I told him. “I just broke my leg.”

He sucked in his breath.

“And just the lower part of my leg. It‘s no big deal.”

The phone was muffled, and I was pretty sure that the man I loved was in all possibility, coughing up a lung. When he hung up, I was confident that it was to spare me the sounds of him retching. I took the opportunity to continue my limp toward the trailer. I sighed deeply when it was in sight. My phone went off, and I saw Rand‘s number pop back up on the display.

“You all right?”

“No.” He sounded sick and mad at the same time.

“I‘m all in one piece.”

“Looks like a lot of people took video of you.” “Because I‘m pretty,” I teased him.

“Stef—”

“Did you watch one yet?”

“Not yet… it‘s still loading.”

Which meant the file was huge either because it was really long or in really high definition. Either way, I did not want him seeing it. “Don‘t watch it.”

“Why not?”

“Because you got sick just think—” “Here it is,” he said.

“Are you home? Where are you?”

“I‘m at Zach‘s. The guests are gone, and I‘m in his study. I‘m gonna leave in the morn…. I‘m… I‘m… oh my God.” He exhaled.

“But you should see me. I‘m fine. You‘re talking to me. You can tell from my voice that I‘m fine.”

He was quiet. I couldn‘t even hear him breathing, or not breathing.

“Rand?”

“Wait.”

“Rand, just—”

“I said wait!”

He sounded really bad, and it was heart-wrenching to hear him so worried about me. I was quiet for long minutes.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “Do you have a concussion?”

“I—”

“It‘s a simple question, Stef. Do you or do you not have a concussion?”

“What even makes you ask that question?”

“Because of how hard you hit the dirt.”

“Oh.”

“Stef.”

“Yeah, I have a slight concussion.”

“And you broke your leg?”

“Just my fibula, the small bone, not the big one,” I told him.

“I know what a fibula is.”

“Okay,” I said because he was scaring me with how calm he sounded.

“You know, concussions are tricky. Somebody‘s supposed to either keep you awake or watch you all night long. You got someone there to do that?”

“No, Rand, I—”

“Is there someone there I don‘t know about who‘s fixin‘ to take care of you like I could take care of you?” His voice was rising.

“No, Rand, you—”

“And you‘re planning to go to the White Ash tomorrow?” “Yes,” I said, not even sounding like me.

“So since you and Glenn are so close now, may—”

“There‘s no way you‘re jealous of your cousin,” I told him.

“No?”

“Knock it off,” I told him. “My head hurts, and you‘re screwing with me. It‘s not nice.”

He sucked in his breath. “Okay, here‘s what‘s gonna happen. I‘m gonna leave for the airport right now, and you are gonna stay right there and wait for me. Do you understand?”

“I can‘t. The rodeo‘s over, Rand. I can‘t stay here. The guys need to get back to the ranch, and I made a promise to Rayland and Glenn to get out to White Ash. I won‘t break my promise after I spent the weekend getting both of them to trust me. I—”

“You can wait for me. No one will throw you out of that trailer. No one‘s expected to leave until noon tomorrow.”

“People are leaving already.”

“Not the people who brought stock and horses, Stef. None of the ranchers or their men are leaving until tomorrow.”

“Glenn and Rayland are leaving at like—”

“You‘re not. You‘re staying right there and waiting for me.”

“Rand—”

“Stefan Joss! Do you understand?” he shouted.

“I want to see the White—”

“You don‘t, Stef, not really. I know you. You wanna come home. What you want is for me to sign over the grazing rights. What you want is for me to clear things up with Rayland and my mother, and you want me to find out from Glenn how serious he is about the damn restaurant.” And I did. I wanted all of that.

“I‘ll talk to everyone, I swear I will, but I will do it on my terms on my ranch. If they wanna talk to me, they come see me, not the other way around. Do you understand?”

Rand had his pride, and it was not my place to try and strip that from him. “Yes.”

“I am coming there to fetch you home, and that‘s all. Maybe before you got hurt, I would have followed you out to my uncle‘s ranch, but not now.”

I really wanted to go home.

“Now you come home, Stef, end of discussion.”

There was no fight left in me. I needed him, needed to see him. “Okay.”

“You‘re supposed to teach class on Tuesday, or have you

forgotten?”

Crap. I had, actually.

“You‘re lucky tomorrow‘s Columbus Day, or you‘d really be screwed.”

He was right. “Come get me.”

“Do not fuckin‘ move. Where‘s the goddamn trailer?”

“I have the last one before the open range.”

“Fuck!”

He was still very upset. “But, Rand, I‘m—”

“If you say you‘re fine one more goddamn time, I will fuckin‘ lose it. Do you understand me? Are you fuckin‘ kidding me?”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Not put your life on the line for a piece of land I don‘t give a fuck about!”

“I didn‘t know that!”

“But you want me to give the land to Rayland!”

“Because he‘s your family!”

“You‘re my family, not him! Jesus Christ, Stef, you could‘ve been killed, and what the fuck does that do for me, huh? That fucks me for the rest of my life ‘cause I get to be without you, you selfish son of a bitch!”

“I was thinking of you!”

“If you were thinkin‘ about me, you would have never gotten on the horse!”

“Rand—”

“And Everett and Dusty and Chase and—”

“Rand—”

“They‘re all fired, Stef. Do you understand how fired they are?”

No. “Rand, you can‘t do that!”

“Oh no? Fuckin‘ watch me! How dare they let you get up on that—”

“Stop yelling!” I yelled at him, which was funny, but not at the moment because I was livid. “You don‘t get to fire men from my ranch because you‘re pissed. They all came with me, they‘ve been here for me, and yeah they didn‘t want me to ride the crazy horse, but I did it for you and for the ranch, and yeah I got hurt, but so the fuck what? And Rayland should have the land because he didn‘t take it. We give it on our terms because we want to, not because he‘s a conniving piece of crap who got one over on us. The guys and me, we did this, Rand. We told him and all the rest of the homophobic assholes around here to go fuck themselves.

And Gil Landry and his sister, who thinks that you‘ll get over me, can go screw themselves, too, ‘cause you will never be over me.” It was quiet on the other end.

“Are you done?”

“Yeah, I‘m done.”

“Stay there and wait for me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand.” I sucked in my breath suddenly, shivering with a cramp in my leg, the pain of it and from being outside in the cold. “You should get off your leg.” “Yes, I should,” I agreed.

“Did you even for a second think about the worst thing that would happen when you got up on the horse?”

“No, I only wanted to protect you.”

“Where are you now?”

“Now I‘m looking at my trailer and Bella in the window.”

“You took your dog?”

“Why does everybody keep saying that like it‘s weird? Yeah, I like my dog. So what?”

His laughter sounded so good.

“Rand—”

“You‘re right.”

“About what?”

“That I won‘t be gettin‘ over you.” “Oh yeah?” I sighed.

“Yeah. I do better when you‘re around.” It was suddenly hard to breathe.

“So I can stay in this trailer until tomorrow? They‘re not going to come throw me out of it after the guys go?”

“The guys ain‘t goin‘ nowhere neither. Everyone waits there for me. You tell them.”

“You‘re sure?”

“I‘m sure.”

“Okay. If Rayland and Glenn stay here, will you talk to them about the grazing rights?”

“I will invite them to the Red, Stef, that‘s it.”

Which was better than nothing. “Thank you, Rand.”

“Don‘t fall asleep.”

“I won‘t.”

“Did the doctor give you something for the pain?”

“Yes.”

“I don‘t want you to take something that‘s gonna knock you out.”

“I‘ll be all right.”

“You keep saying that, and you keep getting hurt.” “Hurry up,” I grumbled at him playfully.

“I am!”

I really couldn‘t wait to see him.