1

CARLY

I get out of the cab, grateful I can finally breathe something other than a potpourri of body odor, garlic, and onions. I take in some San Diego air and look up at the architecturally impressive building in front of me. My new home; for at least the next three months, anyway.

I fumble for the envelope in my carry-on and pull out a key as the cab driver rounds the car to open the trunk.

The key was sent to me in interoffice mail two days before by the CEO’s admin. It’s a key is to my corporate apartment. I’ll share it with another new employee named Ally and I’m told she’s arriving tomorrow.

I’ll be here for three months, minimum. If I have my way, I’ll be living in this city for the foreseeable future. I’ve been here less than an hour and I already love it.

I feel a little like the twirling Mary Tyler Moore in the opening credits of her show, in the big city, looking around me and wanting to toss my hat up in the air.

I’m not wearing a hat, so I opt for a big smile pointed at the sky. I’ve lived in a big city all my life, but this one? This feels like the fresh start I need.

I am stoked about starting my new job on Monday. I’ll be an online marketing strategist for a business consultancy firm. It feels like I’m finally getting paid my due.

I’ve worked my ass off since graduating college; interning and working as a peon for a marketing agency (now a subsidiary of this company) for almost three years. And now I’m here, in sunny San Diego, working at the new parent company’s head office, and making bank for three months, hoping it’ll turn permanent. 

If it doesn’t, and I have to go back to Buffalo…

I can’t think that way, and I can already tell that I’m going to work my patootie off to make sure that doesn’t happen.

The list of perks is good. Free taxis to and from work. I get to live rent-free for the duration of my contract. If I’m offered a full-time job after that, I’m sure I’ll need to find my own place.

I’ll likely work fewer hours than what I worked back home and at almost three times the salary with more autonomy, and a whole new life.

I wanted this new life. After all I’d been through lately? Heck, I needed it and cautiously told myself that I even deserved it.

I needed to get away from Jon (ex). Away from Caitlin (sister). Away from Stephanie (ex-bestie). Just away.

Before I arrived, I decided that this was gonna be great. I was gonna be a whole new Carly.   The old Carly let people walk on her. The old Carly didn’t stand up for herself nearly enough.

Now that I’ve arrived, I hereby declare myself Carly 2.0.

No one but me needs to know that this new and improved version of me isn’t who I’ve always been.

 

***

 

The cab driver gets my giant rolling suitcase from the trunk and as he hands it to me, I thank him, not at all thankful I’m getting caught in the eau du garbage can cologne cloud again. Whether he is making the car smell bad or the car is making him smell bad, I don’t know, but it isn’t pleasant.

He hasn’t spoken on the drive from the airport; I’ve got no clue what his nationality is, but the tall and thin, nearly gaunt, olive-skinned 40-something man with the dark eyes has been stoic.

I give him a smile. “Have a great day. Thank you again!” I hand him a crisp ten-dollar bill on top of the signed taxi slip that the company sent me, and he eyes the cash in his hand and then smiles back and his eyes are aimed at my mouth, then they move down to my toes and then back up to my head again.  Eek. I hope he’s not about to ask me out.

He hasn’t said a word, just driven, but now he’s standing there smiling at me. Creepily.

I reach for the handle on my suitcase, pull it up and lock it into that position, heft my carry-on and my purse over each shoulder, and head to the revolving doors of the glass façade building.

The cabbie is still oddly standing there, smiling at me. I wave and head inside, feeling a little unnerved at his friendliness.

That’s the thing about me. I’m too friendly. Too trusting. Too nice. Or, that’s been me thus far. And that’s why I’ve gotten walked on, screwed over, and treated like a doormat. Repeatedly.

I’ve come here with a plan to turn over a new leaf. No more bullshit-eating Doormat Carly. After the storm I’ve just weathered, I’ve hit my limit. I’m done. That’s why I’m here. New Carly. New life. Bullshit-free.

Hopefully.

If someone pushes, I’ll find a way to push back. If someone gets in my way, no more rolling over and playing dead.  Forgive and forget are now F-words in my vocabulary.

I had a newly ex-boyfriend that took and rarely gave. For two years I was the giver, bending over backwards and doing backflips for him while he barely flexed a muscle.

I have a sister who constantly takes advantage of me. No. Took. Past tense.

Because, it’s over now. I’m not having it any longer. No more borrowing money and never paying it back.  No more borrowing my clothes and ruining them without replacing them.  She expects me to drop everything for her 24/7 whenever she needs me, but never giving me that back, not even when Jon broke my heart when he blindsided me and dumped me.

Cait went to a concert instead. For a band she didn’t even care about. Yep. She left me crying into my ice cream tub because she’d already bought tickets. 

‘Sorry, baby sis. I’ll be back in a few hours and we’ll burn all the pictures you have of him. Okay?’

She came back to my place at four o’clock in the morning, only because she’s been evicted, so I’ve been letting her stay with me. She comes back wasted, and I put her to bed and she sprawled so much that I had to sleep on my couch.

I’d dealt with garbage as an intern, then peon, where people took credit for my work and constantly dumped grunt-work on me. Come in early. Stay late. No credit for all my hard work and given the dirty work constantly.

And I had a now ex best friend I’d caught talking shit about me when I’d thought she was my person the way Cristina Yang was Meredith Grey’s person.

I was done. At least being a peon for the company was finally, finally paying off.

I’d stumbled into the opportunity in an impromptu interview with the CEO of the new parent company who’d recently acquired us.

He happened to be in our office the day after my bullshit meter had hit the limit. I’d considered calling in sick that day, but thankfully the trooper that I was, it paid off. Perfect timing getting this transfer.  The only people I told I was going, beyond my coworkers, was my parents and three days later… I was g-o-n-e gone. The rest of them would figure it out.

I had gone to a stylist and used my savings to get a makeover and new wardrobe so that I could be Carly 2.0 in San Diego. I hired some help and put my stuff in storage so that it wouldn’t be left at my apartment, sending an email to Stephanie right before I left, advising her that she had to be out at the end of the month, that I’d given notice.

 

Stephanie Formerly-Dearest,

This letter is to inform you that I’ve moved out. I’ve given notice and you’ll need to vacate by the end of the month. As my rent is paid until then, my sister can continue to sleep in my room, should she wish, though I’ve removed all furniture.  Unless you want to attempt to ask her to leave. As much as she might be a junkie ho-bag, she’s also angry with you on my behalf so good luck with that.

No-longer-dearest-doormat-Carly.

 

The ‘junkie ho-bag’ and doormat comments would tip Steph off to the fact that I’d overheard her conversation where she trash-talked me.

This had happened the same day Jon dumped me, the same day Caitlin had jetted off to her concert. But, it was true that she’d expressed outrage at Steph and would likely inform her of that.

We called one another Dearest for years. Stephiedearest, Carlydearest. It was done now.