Chapter 22
JESS
“I knew your mother,” Lorna Derringer said. “A beautiful woman, and you look so much like her.”
I blushed and thanked Cade’s mother, who smiled warmly and seemed sincere in the compliment.
“I remember you, too, when you were little,” she went on. “You used to wear your lovely dark hair in braids.” The tall, curvy, but extremely fit for her age woman slanted a glance at her son, who stood beside me near the entrance to the “compound,” as the pack called the Derringer ranch. “I believe my dreadful son used to tease you by pulling your hair.”
“I’m sure I’d have remembered if I’d ever done that,” the dreadful son protested.
His mom and I both laughed at him. “I remember.” I rubbed my head while tossing him a teasing smile. “I think my scalp’s still sore.”
Cade looked discomfited. “I know I was a hell-raiser as a kid, but please don’t tell me I was a bully, too.”
His mom patted him on the arm. “Not a bully, no. Just a mischief-maker. Come on in, you two. I hope you don’t mind, Jess, but everybody is eager to meet you. I know you saw a lot of us at Tom’s funeral, but that was such a sad way to welcome Cade’s new mate.”
I couldn’t help but respond to Lorna’s affability and kindness, but I shivered at the term “Cade’s new mate.” What had Cade told his mother and his friends about the marriage? Did they think it was a true mating? Didn’t they know it was simply a marriage of convenience that would be dissolved in a few months?
A true mating. I didn’t want to remember the sparks that had flashed around us when we’d touched on our wedding night. Surely that had been some kind of illusion? I’d felt the heat and the fizziness—like the best champagne—but if it was some sort of sign, it was elusive. It couldn’t actually be a true mating, could it? I still wasn’t even sure how much I liked the man!
But he was growing on me.
Cade’s mother led us into a sunny living room that was much more tastefully decorated than my grandfather’s place. Not a single rack of antlers in sight. I had some childhood memories of the Derringer ranch house. When Cade’s father had been the alpha leader, pack gatherings were held here.
The house seemed much bigger now. Since that was the opposite of what usually happened when one returned to a childhood haunt, I’d asked Cade about it. He explained that he’d built a new wing for his own use.
Cade had had to attend a pack Council meeting and his mom had invited us, along with a bunch of others from the pack, to come for snacks afterwards. I’d met many members of the wolf pack during Grandpa’s illness, but my head hadn’t been too clear at the time. I knew Dr. Jake Cartwright, of course, and Hector, whom everyone called Heck. He’d visited Grandpa multiple times.
Cade had filled me in last night about the others. Grizzly Pete, like Heck and Lorna, was a member of the old guard who had been Cade’s father’s lieutenants. Jake, Brandon, Suzanne and Marta, were of the younger generation. Marta was elegant but not overly feminine. She was a police officer in Whittier.
Suzanne was tall for a woman, several inches taller than me. She was thin and attractive, with long blond hair. She dressed down in jeans, flannel, and cowboy boots, but I noticed that she wore a lot of jewelry, including elaborate gold earrings and a large diamond on her ring finger. She and Brandon, her mate, were engaged. I’d learned that Brandon had been Cade’s chief rival for the role of pack alpha.
It was already clear that Suzanne didn’t like me. At the funeral, she had been polite but cool. I’d noticed her assessing me more than once, and shifting her gaze when I caught her eye.
When I’d asked Cade about her, he admitted that he and Suzanne had been together for a while: “I first hooked up with her in high school. Then—this was fucked up—she started seeing my brother. That was serious, I guess, but it didn’t work out. After Aaron died, I was lonely and depressed and shit, and so was she. We had another brief thing.”
“You dated her twice?”
“Yeah. Second time was even more casual than the first. I was in no mood to get serious and besides, it was clear she had feelings for Brandon. They got together and have been steady ever since.”
“So Suzanne slept with you, your brother, and Brandon?”
He shrugged. “It’s a small town.”
It sounded to me as if Suzanne had been after the alpha male of the pack. When neither Aaron nor his younger brother had worked out for her, she turned to Brandon and campaigned for him. But he’d lost out to Cade.
Since I was now married to the alpha, Suzanne was predisposed to resent me.
Whatever. I wasn’t going to be married to him for long, so she’d get over it.
I don’t usually have trouble making friends, but I guess I’d been more subdued than usual with Cade’s pack members when I’d first met them all. Grandpa’s death had left me numb. Now that I’d relaxed and started to feel more like my old self, it was easier to socialize. Having Cade hovering at my side, with his possessive hand touching my body, didn’t hurt, either. And his mom had gone out of her way to make me feel as if I belonged.
I joined in on several conversations and listened to several more. I was eager to learn as much as possible about Cade’s pack.
“Is that a British accent?” Suzanne asked me at one point. “Or Scottish? You’re Scottish, right?”
“Half Scottish.” Did I really have an accent? If so, it wasn’t strong. I’d spent some time in Scotland, but not long enough to acquire an accent like my mother’s. “My father was Tom MacLeish’s son.” Surely she must know that. “After he died, we went to my mother’s family in the Highlands, but I spent my childhood here.”
“Really? I don’t remember you.”
“You probably wouldn’t. Cade didn’t either.”
I didn’t remember Suzanne, either, but I thought she might have been part of the cliquey “mean girl” group at the high school when I’d been in junior high. High school and junior high were on the same campus, and the older girls had tormented the younger ones whenever they had the chance. I’d been awkward and shy at the time, so I didn’t have pleasant memories of those bitches. “I’m a few years younger.”
She must have taken offense at that because she gave me a haughty once-over and shot back, “And a few pounds heavier.”
I almost laughed. Did she think I could be embarrassed by the reminder that I didn’t have a stick-skinny figure like hers? On the contrary. My darkling form, which I so disliked, was tall and bony. I’d take my curvy self over that aspect any day.
I was happy with the way I looked and I knew Cade was happy too.
Suzanne’s mate smoothly filled the silence that followed her remark. “I love a Scottish brogue,” he said. “How long did you live in the Highlands?”
I really didn’t want to discuss that. “Not that long. I went to college here in the U.S. You have a faint accent, too,” I said to Brandon. “Are you from somewhere down south?”
“That’s my Texas drawl you’re hearing.”
“He moved here when he was a teenager. He was the new kid in town, but he quickly made friends.” Suzanne touched his hand and gazed at him adoringly, but she was the type of woman who would gaze at any man if she wanted to flatter him. I was willing to bet that her adoring gaze had charmed many a man.
“It can be difficult to find one’s place in a new pack,” Brandon said. “So many traditions in local packs are carried down from one generation to the next.” He assessed me with cool gray eyes. “You must have found that when you moved to Scotland.”
I shrugged. I couldn’t tell if he was hinting at something or just making conversation. I didn’t think it likely that Brandon knew anything about my time in Scotland, but I could be wrong. Cade had managed to find out that I’d been kidnapped.
I wasn’t sure what to make of Brandon. He seemed friendly on the surface, but there was a relentless expression in his eyes. The only time I saw his guard relax was when he and Suzanne were together in a corner of the room, talking animatedly. When he smiled at his mate, the smile seemed genuine.
“I’ve never been to the British Isles,” Suzanne said. “I’d love to go if only to take part in a traditional fox hunt. Do you hunt, Jessica?”
“Please call me Jess. Everyone else does. And no, I don’t hunt.”
“But you must! You’re the alpha’s mate now, and Cade is a fine hunter. He and Brandon and I frequently hunt together. You could join us.”
I kept trying to be courteous. “Thanks, but I’m really no good at hunting.”
“We’ll just have to teach you, then.” Suzanne had a sly gleam in her eyes. Did she think she’d found a weakness she could exploit? “Here in Whittier, everybody hunts. In fact, why don’t we ask Cade if he’d like to lead us on a short hunt, since we’re all here together? We could shift and race into the woods for some feasting and exercise.”
I felt myself go stiff. There were certain things I was willing to do in terms of socializing with his friends now that Cade and I were together, but shifting and running into the woods with them was not one.
“Great idea,” Brandon said. I could feel him staring at me, taking my measure. He would be searching for my weaknesses, too. They all were. They were gauging where in the pack hierarchy I would fit. “What a good way to help our new member feel part of the pack.”
Others must have heard Suzanne’s suggestion because within moments everyone was agreeing that a run in the nearby woods would be just the thing. Marta, the cop, smiled pleasantly at me and said, “I can’t wait to meet your wolf.”
Cade, who was discussing weekend football scores with Heck and Jake, got the word and shot me a glance over the heads of several of his pack mates who were starting to move toward the back door. He must have been able to tell that I was panicking, because he made his way to my side and slid one arm around me. “Sorry. A group run wasn’t on the agenda,” he said low. “I’d love you to join us, though.”
“You go. I’ll stay here.”
A flash of irritation crossed his face. We’d been married for a couple of weeks, but Cade still hadn’t seen me shift. He’d asked me several times to tell him why I was reluctant to do so, but I’d always put him off.
Now I was cursing myself. I hadn’t figured on Suzanne, but I ought to have realized that the other people in the wolf pack would expect me, as Cade’s wife, to hang out with them in my animal form.
I needed to practice shifting to my wolf. I felt fine as a wolf, and in truth I missed running with a pack, but I didn’t trust myself to be able to bring out the wolf without awakening the darkling.
“You should be the alpha female,” Cade reminded me. “Come with me and show them all what you’ve got.”
I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his pack, but I was also damned if I was going to let Suzanne manipulate me. So I smiled brightly and improvised, loudly enough for everyone to hear, “I’d love to, but one of our Scottish customs is to abstain from shifting while we’re in mourning. I hope you’ll all allow me to limit my social activities for a few more weeks.”
“Of course we will,” said the cheerful voice of Cade’s mother, who had come up behind us. She put a friendly arm around my shoulders. “Come, my dear.” She led me back toward the large, airy kitchen. “I’m not in the mood for a run now, either. Let’s sit down and relax.”
“Thanks.”
“That Suzanne is a troublemaker,” she said in a no-nonsense tone. “She hides her claws around all the men in the pack, but has no qualms about scratching the women. Cade’ll have to go, though, as pack leader. But I’m sure he’ll keep the run short.”
The kitchen windows were open, and from the table where we were sitting, I could see the members of the pack milling around in the back garden. They shed their shoes and clothing in that casual manner of shifters everywhere.
Cade was among them, looking more relaxed and carefree than he seemed when he was stuck at his desk, running numbers and analyzing stock market fluctuations. As he stripped down, revealing his magnificent naked form, he looked truly happy and at home.
I felt a pang. The sight and sound of many people shifting at once was startling to me, since I’d rarely witnessed it. The air seemed to coalesce around them. Bones cracked and magic hummed.
In unison, the pack mates lost their human forms and reshaped themselves into large shifter wolves—long and sleek, strong and agile. They were mostly grey or brown or mottled in color, but they were all beautiful. And Cade, the only white wolf among them, was the biggest and strongest of them all.
They dodged playfully around one another, growling and giving low friendly barks. I noted the position of their tails, which varied according to their rank in the pack. Cade with his stiff, erect tail was clearly the dominant, but Jake, Heck and Brandon exhibited some alpha-type behavior, too. Among the women, Suzanne appeared to have the dominant edge. But of course, Lorna was in here with me.
You should be out there with him.
For the first time in a long while, I yearned to shift. I must have revealed that to Lorna, since she reached over the table and patted my hand.
“You could set aside your Scottish mourning custom. Tom wouldn’t have minded. Go with Cade if that is your desire. He needs a strong woman by his side.”
I snapped out of it. I smiled at her and shook my head. “Maybe so, but he doesn’t need me.”
She was wise enough not to ask me any questions.
* * *
When Cade returned, he found me in the kitchen where his mother was sharing some of her recipes. He had shifted back, but he was only half dressed—wearing trousers, but barefoot and bare-chested. He stroked my shoulders and, as usual, his touch was electric. My body bent toward him as if magnetized. “Gonna steal my bride away from you, Ma. I wanna show her my part of the house.”
I said goodbye and thanked her as my husband clamped a hand around my wrist and led me down a hallway and through a door leading to another part of the building.
Another short hallway led into an area of newer construction. The aged wood of the original house was replaced with a newer, fresher scent, and the oils of more recent paints. It wasn’t something a human would notice, but it was obvious to me.
A human would notice the cathedral ceilings and the two-story windows that let in vibrant light. Because the addition was on the west side of the house, the view through those windows was of woodland and hills rising up toward the Rocky Mountains. The other side of the house looked out on plains, fields and grazing lands for the family’s herd of bison.
“This is great!” The huge open space was comfortable, elegant and tasteful all at the same time. “Did you decorate it yourself?”
“Nah. I hired someone.” His voice was clipped and there was an edge to him that I hadn't seen before. Was he angry about my refusal to shift with the pack? “I did tell the architect what I wanted, though. I usually know what I want. I usually get it, too.”
I didn’t doubt that.
He walked over to a huge empty wall. “I’d love some art in here. My decorator made suggestions, but none of them appealed to me. Now that I’ve seen your work, I’m considering giving you a commission.”
Whoa, I hadn't expected that. I could almost see it, though. Something about the space was already making my creative juices flow. I’d love to paint a piece to hang in this magnificent room. Maybe I could do a mural.
He didn't let me dwell on it, though. “There’s more to see.” He tugged me along through the rest of the wing. All the rooms were on one floor, but the area stretched out so much that I guessed he had more than doubled the square footage of the original ranch house.
“Where’re we going?”
He laughed. “There’s only one place I’m interested in showing you now.” He swooped down and swept me off my feet. One of my fancy shoes fell off as he carried me down to the end of the hall and shouldered open the last door. We entered a huge, modern bedroom. He tossed me down in the middle of his king-size bed. “Slide out of those clothes, babe. I don’t see you naked anywhere near as often as I’d like.”
I laughed. “You see me naked every night.” But I obliged, tearing off my top and unzipping my jeans while watching him subject his own clothing to the same treatment. Just being near him made me want him inside me.
“Yeah, well, that ain’t often enough for me.”
It didn’t take long for us both to be naked. As I lay back among the thick pillows, he crawled up over me, holding his weight on his outstretched arms in a way that made his biceps flex beautifully.
“So,” he said, as I stroked his sculpted chest, “I think it’s time you explained to me why you keep refusing to shift.”