“Is this Palani Hightower?”

The beta’s voice on the other end of the line sounded timid. “It is. How can I help you?”

“I was told to call you.”

“By whom?”

“He asked me not to mention his name, said you would know once you heard what it was about.”

Palani leaned back in his chair, intrigued. “Okay, sounds mysterious, but go ahead. What are you calling about?”

The beta’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Excellon.”

Lidon had sent him. That was the only option since he was the only one who knew Palani was investigating this. “Not over the phone. Can you meet me somewhere? Somewhere where you hang out more often?”

“The coffee place on Saxton Avenue. I’ll be in the back corner table. Just tell me what time.”

Palani looked at his watch. “Half an hour?”

“Perfect.”

When he walked into the busy coffee shop, he ordered himself a cappuccino first and decided to throw in an apple fritter as well. Not that he was hungry. His appetite had been off for days. Maybe he had something simmering in his system? Some kind of stomach bug or something that hadn't manifested itself beyond a lack of appetite.

The worry about Vieno didn’t help either. Enar had refused to share about his visit, citing doctor-patient confidentiality, but he’d assured Palani he was monitoring carefully. Apparently, he’d also be present during Vieno’s heat, which was a day away. Funny how that calendar was still etched in Palani’s mind. It would be the first heat in three years he would miss. He sighed at the all-too familiar stab in his heart.

He made his way to the back, carrying his tray, when a dark-haired beta rose and waved at him as if they’d been friends for a long time. As soon as he put his tray down, the beta hugged him. “It’s so good to see you again,” he gushed.

The kid had skills, Palani had to admit. “You, too. So glad we could hang out.”

The beta sat down with his back toward everyone else, so only Palani could see his face. “I’m being watched,” he whispered.

“How’s your mom doing?” Palani asked, taking a sip from his cappuccino. If the beta was as smart as he’d given him credit for, he’d understand what Palani was doing.

The beta dropped his voice to a whisper only Palani could pick up. “My name is Lucan Whitefield and I’m a pharmacy tech… A couple months ago, I was arrested for unauthorized distribution of Excellon to patients who didn’t have the proper prescription.”

“That's great news,” Palani said, trying to keep up his end of the ruse. “And the rest of your family?”

“They interrogated me for an hour the next day, and at the end of that, I signed a statement. I didn’t have a lawyer present at the time because I couldn’t afford one…and the public ones often only get you into a deeper mess. They informed me they would contact me at a later time when they had investigated further. When two months later, I still hadn’t heard anything, I contacted the department. I feared I’d missed something, and I didn’t want to get into trouble. The lady I spoke with told me they had cleared me of all charges.”

Palani barely prevented his mouth from dropping open. “That’s amazing news,” he covered in the same tone he’d used before. “How did that happen?”

“I thought there had been a mistake, so I asked for a copy of my statement… Someone changed the statement I made and forged my signature. The statement on file is not what I signed. Hell, it’s a bogus story that’s not even about Excellon. It says I was witness to a suspicious drug delivery and shares details about what I reportedly witnessed, and that after review, I was cleared of all charges. That’s it. According to that document, I’m free to get my job back.”

Palani let his words sink in as he took another look around the place. “There’s no one else that’s been here as long as we have, so it doesn't seem you're being followed now. Unless they somehow wired you, in which case we’re fucked anyway. Lucan, why do you feel someone is watching you?”

Lucan sighed. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I promise you I'll take you seriously.”

“I found out about being cleared a week ago. It rattled me, you know? Things like that aren’t supposed to happen, and it got me wondering why someone would clear me when I committed a felony. What motive could someone have to do this…someone with access to police records and the knowledge to falsify them? I concluded it had to be a cop, someone who didn’t want me to blow the whistle on this case.”

“How did you reason there were briberies involved? It seemed far-fetched you would deduce that from fewer prescriptions in your pharmacy alone.”

Lucan sighed. “My ex works for an insurance company…one that is involved in this. He dropped something about them systematically denying coverage of certain meds on the false grounds they’re still experimental. And then he mentioned that they did more than that to discourage doctors from prescribing them and winked at me… I broke up with him shortly after ‘cause he was a major ass, but I did a little digging and discovered he was right. I wouldn’t have said anything if I hadn’t gotten arrested.”

“Back to why you think you’re being followed…and I promise I will take you seriously, because everything you’ve told me so far makes total sense.”

Lucan bit his lip. “It’s…instinct. I don’t see anyone, but I know I’m being watched.”

Palani leaned forward. “How?”

“My father is a writer. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Grayson Whitefield.”

The name clicked. “He writes wolf-shifter books. I love those!”

Lucan nodded. “Exactly, that’s him. Much of what he writes is based on stories that've been told in my family for generations. To my father, those wolf-shifter legends aren’t legends. They’re our history. Ever since we were young, he taught my brothers and me to trust our instincts. My older brother Bray, for instance, he’s in security or private protection, whatever you wanna call it. He relies completely on his instincts, knows who to trust and who not to. It’s why I told that cop who arrested me in the first place, because I knew I could trust him.”

“Yeah,” Palani said without hesitation. “You can. He’s a good guy.”

“Coming from you, that’s high praise, considering how much dirt you’ve dug up on cops.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Palani said. “But explain to me what you mean by instincts.”

Lucan dragged a hand through his dark hair. He was cute, Palani mused. Not that he was interested in any way, but cute nonetheless. “There were times in the last week where I felt the hairs on my neck stand up, as a warning. My beta was restless, suspicious. I checked and didn’t see anyone, but the feeling wouldn’t let go. I can’t describe it better than that, but I trust my instincts. Hell, I even debated calling Bray, and if you have an older brother, you'll appreciate that’s not something I’d do lightly ‘cause he’s overprotective as shit.”

Palani smiled. “I do have an older brother, but he’s a beta like me, so that made it a little easier. My youngest brother is an alpha, though, and I wouldn’t call him for help until I was drowning.”

“You believe me, then?” Lucan asked.

“I do. I guess I’ve never labeled it as instincts the way you do, but I do trust my gut, especially when it comes to reading people. I believe you, so let’s order another coffee and you can tell me everything about Excellon.”

* * *

Vieno felt the familiar tingle in his body as he got up that morning. Lidon had already showered, the smell of his body wash still heavy in the air. He had to be in the kitchen, judging by the faint aroma of bacon drifting in. The tiredness and sleeping in was another sign it was almost time, as Vieno was usually up first. He’d always made breakfast for Palani, and he’d done the same for Lidon the last few days. But now his body was charging, knowing there would be little sleep in the days ahead.

He put on some underwear and a pair of jogging pants. His coming heat had always been a source of major stress. This was the first time that he had an alpha to take care of him, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Was it okay to feel relieved? That wasn’t very nice toward Palani, who had done everything he could to help Vieno over the years.

Vieno bit his lip as he pulled a shirt over his head. He was relieved, though. The knowledge that Lidon could provide what he needed made him fear his heat far less. He still worried about Lidon’s reaction about what would happen. When his heat hit hardest, he’d become bossy and vocal and demand…things. And no matter how much Lidon had assured him he was fine with it, Vieno wasn't convinced until he’d seen his reaction first hand. Well, that was about to happen. In thirty-six hours, give or take, judging by the state of his body.

At the same time, he was also strangely looking forward to it--another source of guilt toward Palani. Vieno had been so out of it during his previous heat that he could barely remember the details of the sex with Lidon. He remembered feeling sated, the glorious sensation of that knot, but little more. Being able to fully experience being taken by an alpha during his heat, yeah that did…excite him.

Then again, thinking of Palani dimmed that excitement. God, he was a fucked-up mess. Enar has assured him it would take time to get over Palani and Vieno wanted to believe him, but fuck, it hurt. He wasn’t sure how long he could pretend everything was fine toward Lidon since he already seemed to sense something was off. He gave Vieno these long stares with a tortured look in his eyes.

The door opened softly and Lidon stuck his head around the corner. “Oh, you’re awake.”

“I’m sorry I overslept,” Vieno apologized.

“You need all the sleep you can get today,” Lidon said, his voice warm, affirming to Vieno that he knew it was almost time. He stepped close to Vieno. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired and hyper at the same time, if that makes sense. I need to cook today, if that’s okay with you? To prepare meals for us for…”

Lidon’s arms came around him from the back and he kissed the top of his head. “I’d counted on it. I picked up all the groceries you put on the list yesterday, so you’re all set.”

Vieno relaxed against the broad chest behind him, letting his head rest against Lidon’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I’m off for the next three days and I can take a fourth if necessary.”

“Your boss didn’t give you a hard time?”

“Nah. Newlyweds and all that. Plus, they know I claimed you, so he knows you need me during your heat.” With slight pressure, Lidon coaxed Vieno into turning around and facing him. “Enar will stop by tonight, and he’ll stay here for the first twenty-four hours as a precaution.”

“Precaution for what?”

“I’m not sure what to expect now that you’re in better shape than last time, and I want him there in case we need medical assistance. Plus, you need those shots to prevent a pregnancy.”

Vieno’s eyes grew big. “Medical assistance? You’re scared of what I will do?” His heart dropped.

“No, sweetheart. I’m scared of what I will do. I could smell you from the kitchen, even over the bacon and everything. I’ve been hard since we went to bed last night. I’ve never experienced anything like this, and I’m terrified I won’t be able to control myself.”

Vieno couldn’t bear to see Lidon’s face. The man had to regret the hell out of marrying him already, let alone claiming him. He was nothing but trouble, an endless nuisance, for everyone around him. “I understand,” he said, his throat constricted.

“I’m sorry,” Lidon said.

“You’re sorry? For what?”

Lidon lifted his chin up with a single finger. “I should have asked you if you were okay with Enar being present instead of assuming you were.”

“You’re the alpha. It’s your right to make those decisions for me.”

“Did Palani decide for you like that?”

Unexpected pain stabbed through Vieno’s heart and his shoulders dropped. His gaze dropped to the floor. “No. We did everything together.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” He cupped Vieno’s cheek. “I’ll try, okay? It doesn’t come natural to me, but I’ll try.”

Vieno nodded, his head still down.

“Are you okay with Enar being there?”

Lidon had made a good argument for why Enar’s assistance could be needed. Vieno had no idea how his alpha would react, truth be told. After his disastrous first heat, the only one who’d even been with him had been Palani, and he seemed somewhat immune to the pheromones Vieno was throwing off. Having a backup in case things went pear shaped wasn’t the worst idea. Besides, it was Enar. The man had already seen everything anyway.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Will Palani be there? The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. Of course, he wouldn’t be there. Lidon would never allow it, and even if he did, Palani wouldn’t want to be forced to watch Vieno be taken by his alpha. Again. It had to be torture for him, and Vieno couldn’t ask that of his best friend, no matter how much he missed him. No matter how much he wanted him there, if only because he’d be the one person Vieno could count on who wouldn’t judge him.

The thought filled him with guilt all over again, because here he was, standing inches away from a super hot alpha, and his heart longed for another man. Maybe it was for the better that Palani wouldn’t be there. Maybe if he didn’t see him, at some point he’d stop missing him.

“Thank you,” he added for good measure, finally daring to meet Lidon’s eyes again. “I’ll start cooking now.”

Lidon’s eyes narrowed for a second before his face relaxed again. “Have breakfast with me first?”

* * *

He’d been stupidly ignorant in assuming that once he’d alpha-claim Vieno, the bond between Vieno and Palani would be broken. Lidon had figured that’d be the end of it, at least for Vieno. Palani would need some time to get over Vieno for sure and Lidon would graciously allow him that, but he’d counted on Vieno’s feelings for Palani to disappear after the claim. After all, they were mates now, right?

He’d been so wrong.

It hadn’t been hard to read Vieno’s mind and see the longing in his eyes, on his face for Palani. His omega hurt and Lidon couldn't help him or make it better. Well, he could invite Palani over, but that would be catastrophically moronic. If anything, he needed to keep those two apart, not give them any more opportunity to spend time together.

The pain on Vieno’s face had been hard for Lidon to stomach, though. His first instinct was to take care of his omega, his mate, and he wanted nothing more than to take that pain away. But how could he when the short term solution would bring more pain in the long run—for both of them?

And the fated mates thing made it even more complicated. If he and Vieno were fated mates—and Lidon had done a little research into it and what he experienced sounded a hell of a lot like the old days—how could Vieno miss Palani so much? Lidon didn't understand and that frustrated him to no end.

He watched from the breakfast counter in the kitchen as Vieno sliced chicken breast into small chunks for a pasta Alfredo he was making. Carb loading, he’d told Lidon with a shy smile. They’d both need the calories, that was for sure. It endeared him, this instinctual urge of Vieno’s to take care of him.

His house already looked different, even after a few days. Every day when he’d come home after shift, the lemon scent of cleaner had been strong. Vieno had attacked the kitchen first, then their bathroom and bedroom. It had been long overdue, but Vieno hadn’t complained once. On the contrary, he seemed to derive joy from bringing order into chaos. In that aspect, they matched well.

“Can I get you anything? More coffee? Or I could bake you some cookies, if you like?”

Guilt. It manifested in many ways and with Vieno, his urge to compensate by taking care of Lidon became even stronger, apparently. “I’m good, thank you.”

Vieno barely looked at him as he said, “Let me know when I can get you anything.”

His alpha grumbled inside him, sensing something was wrong with his mate. “Can you come here for a sec?” he asked.

Vieno washed his hands, then stood before him. The slight tic in his eye betrayed his nerves. Lidon’s heart went out to him, even despite his own frustrations. He pulled him in his arms for a hug, relieved when Vieno gave in after a slight hesitation and hugged him back. “Do you regret it, marrying me?” Lidon asked before he could think better of asking a question like that.

“No.” The answer came swift. “I’m so grateful you saved me.”

“But if that threat of marrying your ex hadn’t been hanging over your head, would you still have married me?”

Vieno was quiet for a long time. “I don’t know,” he said. “I want to say yes because it’s what you want to hear, but I don’t know.”

Lidon arms tightened around him. The answer didn’t hurt, strangely enough. It confirmed what he’d already known. “It’s okay,” he said, meaning it. “Brutal honesty, remember?”

Vieno exhaled, his body relaxing. “I wouldn’t have married you this quickly, that’s for certain.”

“What would you have needed to make that decision?”

“A few heats with you, to see how you’d respond.”

“Are you scared of how I’ll react? That I won’t be able to control myself?”

“No, not that.” It took a while before Vieno spoke again. “Of how you’ll look at me after.”

“But I…”

“You assured me up and down you like filthy,” Vieno interrupted him. “And I believe you. But knowing with my mind and believing your words enough to trust myself with you are two different things.”

Lidon wanted to ask him what he’d need to feel safe this heat, but he knew the answer. Palani. That’s what it came down to, didn’t it? What a mess they’d gotten themselves into.

He tucked Vieno closer against his chest, letting his hands wander over his arms, his back, his curves. How could he make sure his mate felt safe and happy while at the same time protecting their union? Palani had no self-preservation instinct, too little experience with alpha sensibilities to cater to him. Though maybe with Enar there it would be different? Especially now that those two had fucked. Maybe Enar’s alpha, subdued as it was compared to Lidon, would prevent Palani from being stupid and encroaching on Lidon’s territory?

Territory.

There was another word he’d better not use around Vieno. Something told him his little omega wouldn’t appreciate being labeled like property. Again. That was one thing he had to respect Palani for, he’d treated Vieno as his complete equal. Even with how dependent Vieno had been on him, he’d managed to make him a true partner. Lidon still had a lot of learning to do there.

“Would you be happier if Palani came over, too?” he asked before he could talk himself out of it.

Vieno gasped against his chest. “Would you…would you allow that?”

Oy. That word allow made painfully clear how Vieno saw his position. Lidon deserved it, but it stung.

“Do you miss him, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry… It’s not fair to you, and I wished it were different, but I miss him so much. He’s…for the last three years, he’s been my everything and he’s been my safe place, you know? Without him, I'm lost. I’m so sorry, Lidon. I wish…I wish I could change how I feel, how I am.”

The abject misery in Vieno’s voice hit Lidon deep. He’d known Vieno and Palani were close, but he hadn’t grasped how much Vieno needed him until now. My safe place, Vieno had called him. It made total sense, now that Lidon considered it, but he’d never considered what the separation from Palani would do to Vieno’s mental state.

In this too, he’d been woefully naive and ignorant, like in assuming that whatever had kept Vieno inside for three years would be solved by their marriage. He wanted to knock himself over the head for not thinking this through, since it was clear that Vieno needed Palani for far more than just sex and practical shit. His safe place. That’s what Palani was. It should be Lidon, his alpha, his mate, but it wasn’t.

And none of it was Vieno’s fault. If anyone was to blame, it was Lidon for his rash decision to alpha-claim him. Then again, if he hadn’t, they would’ve had a much bigger problem at the courthouse when Vieno’s parents had shown up. What a fucking mess.

“Don’t ever apologize for who you are, sweetheart,” he said, noting the emotion in his own voice. “I’ll ask Enar to bring Palani, okay?”

“I hate doing this to you. And to him. Hell, to Enar as well. I hate that you all have to make sacrifices for me. I’m not worth all that…”

“Palani doesn't see it as a sacrifice, I'm sure. I don’t.”

Vieno looked up at him from between his lashes, and he was so cute it made Lidon’s heart skip a beat. “You don’t?”

“I chose this, remember? You didn’t force me or coerce me. I married you willingly, and as a matter of fact, it was my idea to claim you.”

“I don’t understand why… I’m super grateful, but I still don’t understand why you agreed.”

“You can’t think of a reason?”

“Not a compelling one, no. You’re an alpha cop, you’re hot as fuck, so if you wanted to get married, you’d have omegas lining up out the door. Why me?”

Lidon wanted to be a bit more comfortable when they continued this conversation, but he wasn’t ready to let go of Vieno yet. “Wanna join me on the couch while we talk?”

Vieno nodded, then followed him to the living room. As soon as Lidon sat down, Vieno snuggled close to him. It was contradicting, this physical closeness despite the legitimate questions he was asking.

“I need to be close to you,” he apologized.

“It’s okay. I feel the same way. I’m reluctant to even break touch.”

Relief painted Vieno’s face as he put his head against Lidon’s biceps. “Same here.”

“Is that normal for you during your heat?”

“No. The day before I’m usually way too restless to sit still. It drove Palani nuts.”

And here they were again, back to the topic they couldn’t seem to stay away from. Maybe Vieno deserved a bit more of an explanation, insofar as Lidon even understood it himself.

“You asked me why I did it, why I agreed to marry you. I wasn’t planning on it when Enar approached me. Hell, I was gonna say no when he asked me to help you through your heat the first time.”

“What changed your mind?”

“You did. You were in bad shape, but still so gorgeous, so beautiful…and you were starting to undress Enar. My alpha didn’t like that. He wanted you for himself and that’s why I agreed.”

“I can understand that, you know. What alpha would say no when an omega in heat presents himself and you get a fuck-for-free card?”

Lidon frowned. “You make it sound…cheap.”

“Wasn’t it? It was simple biology, nothing else. Hormones and lots of ‘em and once we fucked them out of our system, we went our separate ways.”

That last sentence made Lidon sit up and pay attention. “Had you expected me to stay in touch?” he asked. “Or maybe hoped I would?”

Vieno avoided his gaze. “It would’ve been nice…” he mumbled. “To know that I was more than a hole for you to use…”

“You were so much more than that and you know it. We connected, even then.”

“Not enough for you to keep in contact. I wasn’t even sure if I could reach out to you again for my next heat.”

“Because you were Palani’s! I didn’t want to come between you two since you were his.”

Vieno shot up straight to look at Lidon, his mouth open. “Is that true?”

“It was already hell for him to ask for help, then have to watch another man take what was his. I wasn’t gonna make it even harder on him, on both of you, by trying to build on the connection we had. I’m not the type that breaks up couples just because I can, as an alpha.”

“It had nothing to do with me?”

“Was that what you concluded?”

Vieno nodded. “I figured I’d turned you off with my behavior…by being too…eager.”

“Oh, sweetheart, not at all. I was trying to respect your relationship. I liked you, hell, I still do. You’re…you’re gorgeous and sweet and I like that you have opinions and aren’t afraid to state them. Plus, the sex we had three months ago was seriously hot.”

“Is that why you married me, for the sex?” Vieno sighed. “No, of course it isn’t. Because you can get sex anywhere. Even seriously hot sex, as you called it.”

“Sweetheart, you don't understand. That sex…” Lidon stopped talking, horrified by what he was about to say. Did he want to open that can of worms?

“What?”

Yeah, he did. Because Vieno needed it and he’d promised him the brutal truth. “It was the best sex I ever experienced,” he said quietly.

Vieno’s eyes grew big. “But…but you were engaged, and you almost proposed to your other boyfriend. How…?”

Lidon rubbed his eyes, then decided he needed Vieno even closer for this particular conversation. He lifted him up and dragged him onto his lap, letting out a content sigh when Vieno relaxed against his chest. “Matteo and I were super young when we met. We were sexually active, but I was his first and we hadn’t figured out how to make it satisfying for us both. We never got that chance because he died. And Rodrick… I told you before, he didn’t like experimenting, or anything outside of the standard missionary stuff. In hindsight, I don't even understand why I considered marrying him. I guess because I figured it was time to start a family. I’m so glad it didn’t happen. It would have been a big mistake. There you have it, my sexual past… Nothing has been as good as the sex with you, Vieno. Nothing has even come close.”

Vieno nestled deeper against him. He put his hand on Lidon’s chest, reveling in his strong heartbeat under his hand. “I loved the sex with you,” he said softly. “You made me feel sated for the first time ever. When you knotted me that last time, it was… I can't even describe it. Almost magical sounds like a hyperbole, but it isn’t. I’ve never felt like that.”

“And you experience guilt toward Palani for feeling this way,” Lidon guessed.

Vieno studiously avoided his eyes. “It’s not his fault I need something he can’t give me.”

“It’s not your fault either, sweetheart.”

“You don’t know what I put him through…” Vieno’s voice was barely audible. “How I screamed at him, begged him to…do more. To fulfill me. And he couldn’t. Every heat we experienced together hurt us both a little more.”

Vieno’s voice broke at the last words and so did Lidon’s heart. He hadn’t fully appreciated what Palani had endured all those years. What had that done to his self-esteem, he wondered?

“If his presence helps you in any way, he is welcome to be here when your heat starts,” he said.

Vieno sat up, meeting his eyes. “Are you sure?”

Lidon saw a sparkle he hadn’t seen in days. How could he say no if his mate needed this? “Absolutely.”