I shouldn’t have gone. I get that now, but all I could think at the time was, not him. When Conner told me he saw Addie talking with Aiden Harvey and he asked her out, I was pissed. I hated to think of her spending time with that asshole, but it also meant I’d let her into my thoughts too much. My whole clan knew her face now, knew my feelings for her, knew everything. More than I wanted them to know. But it was too late.

Conner had been out on some kind of work errand and had been shocked to see the woman whose face had consumed my thoughts lately. Then he’d heard Aiden talking and the two of them making plans. He’d told me about it, not so much because he wanted to or thought he should, but because he’d been bothered enough by it that his thoughts reflected something. I’d had to convince him to give me details, and as the Alpha, he didn’t have much room to disobey. As my friend, he wouldn’t have held back information, either, if he’d thought it would help me. He hadn’t been so sure it would be good for me to know this, however.

So, I’d gone to the party. I knew about these get togethers; they happened all the time. We never went, though. We liked to hang out and party in the woods, sure. Who didn’t? But we didn’t do it with a bunch of locals. Bear clans tended to be tight knit and kept to themselves. Crocs, on the other hand, loved to be around people, scamming them however they could, taking full advantage of the people passing through.

Even the airboat gig was somewhat of a scam. Sure, people got to tour the Everglades by water, but the Harvey family who ran it charged far too much, and most of the animals seen on the tour were staged. Either put there on purpose or faked. I’d even heard rumors that they had a baby alligator statue that they put in the water, then claimed it was a rare sight and that group was extra lucky for seeing such a “rare” occurrence. I came across baby gators all the time; you just had to know where to find them. And it certainly wasn’t in an area where loud airboats passed through all day.

The rivalry between the crocodiles and bears of the Everglades was long standing, going back more years than either clan knew. Both wanted complete control over the land, though for different reasons. Each despised the other, though again, for different reasons. The bears had had their grasp on the park for decades and the crocs were all around it, just hovering outside the borders, waiting for their moment to slither in and wreak havoc. The conclave, which consisted of delegates of shifters of all types, helped keep both sides in check and stepped in if one side went too far.

There had always been issues with the crocs—usually not enough to go to the conclave over, but annoying, nonetheless. The day Addie showed up had started with Ezra telling me about their run-in with them the night before at a local bar. I was about ready to tell my guys to not even go out in public locally, but I wouldn’t punish my guys for something the crocs did. I chose not to go out often because I didn’t want to deal with it. And until now, my dealings with them hadn’t been too personal. Of course, messing with the member of one clan is like messing with all the members, but none had ever gone after something so precious to me.

I didn’t know if Aiden had any idea who Addie was to me. I didn’t know how he could, but it didn’t really matter why he was going for her. It only mattered that he was, and that she’d gone for it. She’d gone to the party with her friends and wandered off to spend time alone with Aiden. It even looked like he kissed her. Maybe they had a second one planned. Maybe they’d fall in love and get married, and everything I ever wanted out of life would be his instead of mine. Maybe I’d lost my chance forever.

How about getting a bite to eat? I’m starved. Mason, third in the chain of command within the clan, thought to me.

Then go eat, I responded. I don’t need a babysitter.

When they realized what I was doing, I’d found myself surrounded by the thoughts of my clan. They wouldn’t come to where I was unless I needed them to. Even my guys didn’t love partying so much that they’d subject themselves to an event thrown by crocs. They were worried I’d do something stupid. And so Mason had been assigned—probably by Ezra and Conner—to keep an eye on me through the night and make sure I didn’t start something they’d have to finish.

I just want to know you’re okay.

I’m fine, thanks. I’m going home to sleep. I ran up to my cabin and stood out front to stretch. Just got home, actually.

And you’re staying there?

That’s the plan.

I’m heading off to bed, too. Hit me up in the morning. I’ll do a perimeter run before work if you want.

That’s not a bad idea. I shifted back to human form and dressed. But as I sat in my cabin, trying to concentrate on the piece of wood I was whittling, I couldn’t stop my mind.

Addie didn’t know Aiden. She didn’t know all these croc guys were bad news. Wouldn’t she want to know if she were getting herself mixed up with a bunch of assholes? The Addie I knew wouldn’t have wanted to be around people like that. I thought I should just go tell her. Just as a concerned friend. To let her know what the truth was.

I got up and paced the room. Would I come off as too…controlling? I had no right to tell her what to do. If I went to talk to her and warn her of her new boyfriend, it would seem like I was just being jealous, trying to keep her from being happy. I needed a way to tell her that wouldn’t make it seem like I just didn’t want her to date. Maybe I could fix her up with someone.

As soon as I had the thought, I shook it from my mind. Okay, so I was jealous. There was no denying it. That wasn’t the reason I didn’t want her around Aiden, though. Maybe admitting that to her would be enough, I thought. I could just say, “Yes, I know this comes off as a jealous ex-boyfriend thing, and I am jealous, but trust me, he’s bad news.” Maybe I could convince her.

Without thinking too much more about it, I found myself outside, walking. If I happened to be strolling in the direction of her tent, then okay. It wasn’t like it was close. If I went to her tent, there would have been many miles of ground to cover. But if I ran there…

I stepped out of the shorts I’d pulled on and shifted back into bear form. When my bones settled and muscles were ready, I leapt into the air, running fast until I was close. I slowed to a walk as I neared the camping area, though; I didn’t need to take calls all day about some bear running around the woods, scaring the campers. I kept my ears open and crouched as I moved in closer.

I really hadn’t thought this through. If my plan was to talk to her, I should have come in human form. Or at least carried a sack of clothing. Maybe it was better that way.

Just don’t break the ultimate command, whatever you do.

I almost rolled my eyes at Mason. There’s no chance of that. Like I would show her my animal form and break the rule that kept all shifters from telling humans of our existence. This one secret, this one universal command, was true of all shifters. Even if sometimes the crocs danced on the line, their way of life would be severely hindered if the world knew the truth about them. It would be for all of us.

Maybe telling Addie wouldn’t start some massive, riotous outbreak that would ruin all shifter life forever, but why take the chance? Even if I could tell her, I wouldn’t want to; it would scare the shit out of her and she’d think I was a freak. I didn’t really have a chance with her at the time, and it was my own fault, my own family and position that kept me from being with her. I still didn’t want to taint my image in her eyes. It was bad enough she probably hated me for ending things how I did; I didn’t want it to be any worse.

I froze when their tent unzipped and the three of them stepped out. I didn’t know these friends, but I thought she’d called the blonde Emma. Conner said the other one was Julie, who began to pull a bottle of orange juice from the cooler.

“We have plenty,” she said.

“Thank god,” Addie breathed, setting a large bottle of vodka onto the picnic table.

Emma came over with a few red plastic cups and held them in place as Julie poured.

“To friends only,” Addie said, raising her cup for a toast.

Emma sighed. “To friends, and good guys.”

“Like I said, friends only,” Addie countered.

Julie rolled her eyes. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Just be glad you walked away when you did,” Addie mumbled, taking a long sip of her drink. “You were spared his long tale of life as a tour guide. Even Sam wasn’t as arrogant as Aiden. He talked about himself the whole time!”

“It is quite a feat to be a bigger asshole than Sam,” Emma laughed.

I had no idea who this ‘Sam’ was. An ex of Addie’s, I assumed, by what they were saying. The jealous spark flickered. Think about what they’re saying, I reminded myself. Calling him an asshole. Obviously, Sam is not on their good side.

“Why is it always the cute ones?” Julie asked. “You either find a good guy or a good-looking guy, but never both.”

“That’s not true,” Addie pointed out. She looked off into the distance and sighed.

Emma groaned. “If you say Owen one more time, I’m going to scream.”

My heart jumped. What? Had they talked about me? Addie was talking about me? My ears twitched to hear more.

“Sorry,” Addie muttered.

“Hey, you know what?” Julie put both hands on Addie’s shoulders and looked her square in the eye. “You took a step. You met up with a guy and you talked to him. You had a date, Addie! A date! And so it didn’t go well. That happens. The point is, you did it. You’re moving on. You’re over Owen. You’re over Sam. Now we just need to find your Mr. Right.”

“I second that.” Emma held up her drink and they all tapped their cups to hers.

Addie took a sip and paused. “I just wonder sometimes…”

“Don’t do that,” Emma said.

“But the thing is,” Addie continued, “the only reason Owen ended things was to go to school. And, okay, so we were many hours apart, and that would have been hard to manage. I get it. But we’re out of school now. He works here in the park and I live an hour away. That’s not exactly long distance anymore—”

“To be honest, Ad,” Julie interrupted, “I don’t know if that was the real reason. He might have said that. He might even have thought it at the time, but guys don’t want to be stuck with the same woman forever. Not right out of high school. They like to sleep around and explore, try new things—”

“And new women,” Emma added.

“Exactly.” Julie set down her empty cup. “He had oats to sow, and he used that as an excuse to break things off. Any guy who does that isn’t worth it. It was more important to him to date other women than it was to make things work with you. And that’s the truth.”

I wanted to scream. My claws dug into the earth, tearing grass and breaking twigs. I could have stood up and roared. I could have charged at them and showed my fury. But it was no use.

You okay, Boss?

Not now, Ezra.

I tried to calm down. The last thing I needed was Ezra chirping in my ear.

I knew, on some level, it wasn’t Julie’s fault. Or Emma’s. They didn’t know me, and they were going by what tabloid magazines and Hollywood told them about men. I’d even guess, based on my friends at the time, that what they said was true in many cases. It just wasn’t true for me.

I’d had my eyes set on a great school, just a few minutes’ drive from where Addie had been accepted. I knew I wanted to work in the park, and I had an easy in with so many of my clan working in and around the area. I was never going to leave for good. And I didn’t want to. I had my family and clan, I had my career picked out and was excited about it. And most of all, I had a woman I adored, who was everything I could have imagined in a mate.

I’d also had my eyes on a shiny ring I thought she’d like.

I had a plan. We’d take a midnight stroll through the park, sneaking into the area closed at night. There was a certain spot I loved. In the middle of one of the rope bridges, if you paused, you could look both directions on either side of you and see over the water to the horizon. I’d tell her that one side was our past, full of joy and happiness, and one side was our future, stretched long ahead of us. Sometime between proposing and our wedding day, I’d sit her down and tell her the truth about me. That was the only time most of us made an exception and told a pure human—when wedding bells were ringing. Or, in the event that a child was created out of wedlock. Obviously, the mother would have to be told that her baby had a 50% chance of becoming shifter. Addie would have understood and accepted me, I just knew it.

My plan was perfect. I was so excited the day I told my parents about it over dinner, how I was going to talk to Addie’s dad the next day and ask for his permission. Then, my parents dropped the news on me. I hadn’t known about the marriage rules in our clan. Why would I? Other clans were allowed to marry non-shifters. Even within my own clan there were mixed marriages. But in our clan, the Alpha rule stood on some ancient desire for purity or some bullshit. My father felt strongly about it; he didn’t want to upset the ancestors.

I’d been heartbroken—and angry. I tried to think of ways to get around it. I’d gone as far as packing my bags, planning to leave my family or the area, or the clan altogether, if that’s what it took. But my mother must’ve sensed it in me and came to talk to me, sitting beside the packed duffle bag on my bed.

We talked for hours, and by the end of it, I saw my duty. I understood my dad’s reasoning, and though I didn’t agree with any part of it, I felt compelled to go along with it. I wished I could tell Addie the truth, that I hadn’t wanted to sow my wild oats as Julie had suggested. That I missed her every day.

That I still loved her.

As I listened, watching Addie and wanting to be close to her, she said something that made me completely unravel. I walked away, heading back to my cabin, her words still ringing in my ears.

“The truth is,” she’d said to her friends, “I’m not over Owen, and I don’t know if I ever will be. I want to talk to him and see if there’s any chance of us trying to make this work.”

I hadn’t stayed after that; I didn’t want to hear her friends convince her it was a bad idea. She still had feelings for me. She wanted to get back together. If anyone had been there, they might have expected me to be ecstatic over this.

But sadness weighed me down. It took a long time to get back home, and when I did, I crawled into bed, still naked, and wiped away a tear. It didn’t matter that she still wanted me. The rules hadn’t changed; there was no way I could be with her.

The day before, I would have said that was the best news I could have ever heard, but in that moment, it felt like a dagger to the heart. It was easy to want something when it seemed far out of reach. Having her there, knowing what I knew, meant that I’d have to do the hard part. If she did come to talk to me, I had to be the one to send her away. I had to reject her. Again. I had to watch her walk away, knowing we wanted each other more than anything.

I’d have to break her heart.

Again.