I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror wearing my Soft Serves softball uniform. To me, it was a sexy uniform, but I still didn’t know whether I deserved to wear it. The baseball pants were slightly tight, but I had to admit they made my body looked good. I never dreamed I would be a competitive athlete. After my fumbling attempts at playing sports in gym class, I rejected joining in official school teams. Now, for the first time, I was taking the leap to play a team sport in public. It was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.

After pulling in to the parking lot at the baseball field, I climbed out of the car to see more than half of my team already hanging out and warming up. Antonio jogged over to the side of the car and proclaimed, “You’re first game, Sven! Let me step back and take a look at you.”

I blushed, but I stood in place with my softball glove on my right hand. I said, “Honestly, I’m a little nervous, Antonio.”

He shook his head and said, “Oh, don’t be nervous at all.” Then he stepped from one side to the other letting his eyes roam from head to foot. “And you look so good. All that muscle. Yum!”

I hoped that Lowell thought I looked as good, too. Just as I started to follow Antonio to the field, Lowell drove up and parked beside my car. He climbed out in his uniform, and my heartbeat skipped. He looked perfect. The jersey was stretched across his broad chest, and a huge smile spread across his face when he saw me.

I said to Antonio, “I’ll be there in just a second.”

Antonio turned around and saw Lowell. He grinned and gave me a swat on the ass. He growled and said, “Go get him, Tiger.”

I gave Lowell a big hug and a quick kiss. He asked, “Are you ready for this, Sven?”

I laughed and said, “No, but I don’t think I have any choice.”

We headed toward the field, and he said, “You’re right. You don’t. It’s too late to turn back now.”

When we reached the field, I received generous greetings from my teammates. Ian gave me a big hug, and Reggie proclaimed, “It’s our all-star rookie!”

Blake gave me a firm handshake, and three other teammates swatted me on the ass with their gloves. Lowell asked, “Is Sven starting?”

Reggie answered, “Yep, I’ve got him in right field, and he’ll bat seventh just after Antonio.”

Antonio said, “That’s perfect! I’ll get on base with my blazing speed, and then the big man will drive me home.”

“Blazing speed?” asked Blake.

Antonio held his glove up to Blake’s face and said, “Ssshhh, we’re pretending.”

I laughed and self-consciously slapped my left hand into the padding of my glove.

For most of the game, my performance was a mixed bag. I didn’t miss any easy balls in the outfield, but when I tried to make an impressive catch, the ball tipped the end of my glove and rolled to the fence. The batter ended up with a stand-up triple.

Batting was a mixed bag, too. My first time at bat, I hit a slow rolling ball toward the first baseman. He ran a few steps forward and tossed the ball to the pitcher who was covering first base.

Fortunately, my teammates made the game a close one. Our first three batters went down to bring a quick close to the first inning, but Blake led off the second by launching a ball over the fence in center field. I don’t think I saw anybody hit a ball nearly that far in practice. Our opponents just stood and watched in awe as the ball sailed out to the parking lot on the other side of the center field fence.

After our opponents took the lead by two runs in the fourth inning, Marshall drove home two runners with a double into right field. It was a tough ball to field, and I was secretly pleased that their right fielder didn’t play it any better than I would have.

I reached first base my second time at bat with a little bloop single over the head of the second baseman, but we failed to score in that inning. I met Lowell on the field as he jogged out to take his position in center field. He gave me a little swat with his glove and said, “You’re doing great, Sven! Now we just need to figure out how to win this game.”

I was the first batter up in the final inning, the seventh. We were down by one run, and our prospects were looking a little bit bleak. The first three batters up were the bottom of our batting order.

After swinging at the first two pitches and missing them completely, I dug my back foot even further into the batter’s box. I tried to shut out everything around me and narrow my concentration to my bat and the ball in the pitcher’s right hand. As suggested by Ian, I just wanted to greet the ball with the bat. I didn’t need to slug it in the gut.

I was considering just taking the third pitch, but then I could tell that it was going to be a strike. I swung at it, and the bat connected. The ball headed somewhere between second and third base, but I focused only on getting to first base as fast as my feet could carry me. Just after my foot hit the base, a ball arrived in the first baseman’s glove. I was safe!

My teammates roared in the dugout. I rubbed my sweaty hands against the pants of my uniform and then readied myself for the next batter. Unfortunately, it was a strikeout, but then the next guy snaked a ground ball between first and second base. I literally had to stretch out my stride to miss the rolling ball as I headed for second base. It wasn’t a big hit, but we were both safe on first and second base.

Next up was Ian, our leadoff man. I could almost hear my entire team in the dugout inhale simultaneously. Staring in toward home plate, I thought Ian looked very confident. He pounded the end of the bat on the plate and then wound it back up against his shoulder. With a slight crouch, he was ready.

Everyone sighed at the first strike, but then, on the second pitch, Ian connected. The ball went soaring, and I knew that it was another home run. This time the ball cleared the left field wall. I had an easy jog to finish rounding the bases and jumped on home plate with both feet. It was a walk off winning hit for Ian. Our first game of the season was a victory.

Reggie gave me a high-five, and then we all gathered to greet our conquering hero. Just before Ian landed in the middle of the crowd, I felt strong arms reach around my waist from behind. It was Lowell, and he kissed the side of my neck.

---

At Reggie’s suggestion, at least half of the team headed to the Toolbox to celebrate our victory. Antonio walked in with his husband Lex at his side. I got to shake hands with Lex for the first time. As everyone else mentioned in the past, Lex was as straight-laced as Antonio was off-the-wall flamboyant. He was dressed in crisp blue jeans, a lavender dress shirt, and a charcoal grey jacket.

“Great to meet you, Sven,” said Lex. “Antonio says you’re a great player.”

I smiled as I shook his hand and said, “I’ll be satisfied to be an average player on this team.”

A roar went up in the bar when Ian and Blake arrived. They were crushed in a group hug, and then Reggie pushed beer glasses into their hands so that we could all enjoy a toast to the Soft Serves’ victory.

I whispered to Lowell, “This will be an amazing season if we celebrate every victory like this.”

He laughed softly and whispered back in my ear, “Since Blake works here, I think Reggie, Ian, and Blake sort of consider it their home bar. It will calm down once the season wears on, but if we are champions at the end of the season, look out!”

I wrapped one arm around Lowell’s waist with my beer in the opposite hand. We clinked our glasses together and drank. He said, “You got a key hit, Sven. No need to be worried about your performance anymore.”

“It did feel good. You got on base, too. I think we both did fine.”

Nodding, Lowell said, “I’ll take it. Can we find a table somewhere in the back? I’m still not crazy about the tight crowd. It’s good for a quick celebration, but then I start feeling like all the air is being sucked out of the room.”

We settled in at a small round table near the back pool table. I was still watching the cheers and group of revelers swaying back and forth. The jukebox blared “We Are the Champions” and they all sang along.

I pointed at the group and said, “Isn’t that great?”

Lowell said, “It really is, and I’m happy for everyone. I guess I’m just a little bit crowd-phobic.”

I looked him in the eye and asked, “Seriously? You feel uncomfortable in big crowds?”

“Yeah, I do. I used to think it was because I worried that everyone was watching me, or I thought I was afraid someone might pick my pocket. It turns out that I just don’t like the crowd for some reason. It makes me uncomfortable, and if I stick around too long, my heart starts to race, and I feel a little dizzy.”

I asked, “Are we far enough away now?”

He reached out and gripped my hand. “Yeah, I’m fine now. I’m just happy to be with you.” He leaned forward across the table, and I followed suit resulting in a quick kiss.

He continued talking about the crowd. He said, “I guess it might date to a couple of experiences when I was a child. Once I got lost at a little festival where they have all the rides and fried food. I wandered for what felt like hours to me, and then finally a nice older woman asked if I was lost. When I said, ‘Yes,’ she took me to some sort of office, and they sent out a message about a lost little boy over the loudspeakers.”

I said, “Wow, that’s crazy.”

“About ten minutes later I was wrapped in my mom’s arms, and she was telling me to never wander off like that again. I liked her hugs, but the only problem with what she said was that I couldn’t remember wandering off. One minute they were there, and the second minute they were gone. For a long time after that I thought it was the crowd’s fault, and I thought it took me away somehow on its own…like some sort of giant monster.”

Blake walked up to our table just as Lowell finished the last word of his story. I held my beer glass aloft and said, “Hail the conquering hero!”

Blake grinned and said, “Thank you so much. I was just doing what I do. Fortunately, I really caught the ball on the meat of the bat. Then it was Ian that was the really big hero. I’m just basking in his reflection.”

Lowell said, “Modesty is always a good policy, Blake. It looks good on you.”

Blake rested a hand on the table and said, “Hey, guys, speaking of what looks good. Are the two of you an item now? I think I saw a kiss…”

I looked at Lowell, and he looked back at me. I felt something grip tight in my stomach, and before I could stop myself from saying anything different, I shook my head and said, “No, we’re just good friends. Just…” I saw the frown on Lowell’s face, and my voice trailed off.