I wrap my hands around the mug of coffee Hanna gives me and close my eyes for a moment, still trying to shut out the pictures that will forever torment my mind. It doesn’t help. To distract myself I gaze into the hot liquid, studying the surface for images which aren’t there.

I look back up at Hanna, who had not been able to sit still since handing me the coffee. She’s moving around the room, wringing her hands and pushing the curtain back several times. Her lips are moving as though she’s saying something no one should hear.

I want to say something to her but I can’t find the words. So I wait for her to start the conversation. She comes to a stop and stands for a few seconds in the middle of the room before settling next to me. She raises her hand and touches the Band-Aid on my cheek with the tip of her fingers.

“I’m ashamed.” She purses her lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t see what he was doing to you. I . . . Perhaps I didn’t want to.”

I’m surprised that she’s focusing on what Damien had done to me instead of his much more evil brother’s crimes. But I don’t stop her as she continues to talk. She needs to say whatever’s laying heavy on her chest and I need the distraction.

“I’ll never forgive myself for choosing to be blind.” She brings her hands together in her lap and clutches them. “He wasn’t always bad, you know. He—He did some good things in his life. Maybe that’s why I overlooked his sins.” She pulls an embroidered handkerchief from the pocket of her nightgown and blows her nose. “If it weren’t for Damien, Adrian would not be alive today. Five years ago, Adrian needed a liver to save his life. Damien didn’t even think twice. He gave him the gift of life. After that, our loyalty was to him. We had no idea how to repay him otherwise.”

“I didn’t know you and Adrian are married?” I ask, saying my first words in what seems like hours. My swollen lips throb with pain.

“We like to keep things professional at work.” She pauses. “Fifteen years last month. He was my first love. We both worked for Damien and Judson’s stepfather.” She purses her lips. “That man was pure evil. The things he put those boys through . . . despicable. And the mother was never around to set them on the straight path after he corrupted them. As the help, we had no choice but to turn the other way, to pretend we didn’t see. Judson suffered less only because he became like him sooner. He became the favorite son.”

“And Damien resisted?”

“The poor boy paid dearly for it. It was only a matter of time before he, too, turned into the monster his stepfather was.”

My heart aches as I recall Damien telling me about how his stepfather had forced him to do things small boys should never be subjected to. An uncomfortable thought niggles at the back of my mind. I wet my dry lips and put it into words. “How was he punished when he misbehaved?” I’m unable to raise my voice above a whisper.

Hanna shifts her gaze away from me.

“Hanna, how was he punished?” I ask again, my voice stronger.

“He was locked up for days on end, sometimes longer. The man did to Damien what Damien did to you.” She exhales. “But instead of being locked up in a room, he got the dark basement. And he was sometimes tied to a pole.” Hanna blows her nose again, her hands trembling. “To this day I still remember the sounds of his screams.”

No wonder Damien built that tunnel. His childhood fears had followed him into adulthood. My heart bleeds for him, for the broken years of his life. But as much as my mind wants to dwell on his pain, I can’t think about his life or his death. Not now. The only person who should matter now is me. The splinters from his broken life have pierced me too.

I raise the mug of coffee to my lips and sip the sweet, hot liquid, following its journey over my tongue and down my throat, enjoying its comforting warmth. As soon as I drain the mug, Hanna springs to her feet and brings me more, glad to have something to occupy her. When she returns from the kitchen, she finds me with my hand over my cheek.

“Don’t worry. The cut wasn’t too deep. I’m sure it won’t take long before it heals.”

I lift my gaze to her face and give her a bittersweet smile. My physical wounds are the least of my problems. The pain and the scars do not concern me. The wounds that matter, the ones that won’t stop bleeding, are the ones hidden within.

In our momentary silence, we hear the distant sound of a police siren blaring. Hanna gets up and goes to the window, pushes aside the green printed curtain.

She gazes out for a moment. “It’s been over an hour. What’s taking Adrian so long?” She allows the curtain to fall back in place.

“I don’t know.” The knot inside my stomach is tightening with every second as I wonder if Judson had escaped the mansion after all and got to Adrian. I can’t imagine what he’d do to the man that destroyed his plans.

“Do you know what he went to get from the office?” Hanna sinks into the couch. “I can’t imagine what can be so important.”

“I—No.” I place a hand on my belly, guilt gnawing at my stomach lining. Damien had asked Adrian to go to the office for me, to get something for me. Perhaps something that will aid in my escape. I can’t possibly admit to Hanna that Adrian went out there because of me, that if something happens to her husband it will be my fault.

Swallowing my guilt, I do the only thing I can do. I pray for Adrian’s safe return to his wife and life.

Adrian walks through the door at 3:00 a.m., carrying a vintage leather briefcase. He finds both Hanna and I fast asleep on the couch, exhausted from waiting so long for his return.

“Where in God’s name were you?” Hanna almost trips on the blanket draped over her legs as she stands and rushes to Adrian. She throws herself into his arms, both relieved and furious. She pulls back and places shaking hands on both sides of his cheeks. “You weren’t answering your phone. Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I should have called. I passed by the police station to ask if they had any new information. If they arrested the son of a bitch. The place was packed and loud. It took ages to get someone to talk to me.”

“And?” My heart jams into my throat. I unclasp my hands and lift my lethargic body from the couch “Did they get him?”

Adrian turns his weary face toward me. “I’m afraid they were not very generous with their information. They wouldn’t quit telling me to return in a couple of hours.”

“Did they at least mention . . . is Damien dead?”

Adrian nods and lowers his gaze, hiding his pain at the loss of his boss or perhaps avoiding seeing my emotions. “They refused to say. But I read between the lines.”

He says something more but due to the rush in my ears, the words that reach me are nothing but gibberish. My stomach hurts so much, as though there’s a hand in there wringing my intestines. But allowing myself to crumble now is not on the cards. I can’t let myself go until I’m sure of where I’ll go from here. I bite back tears as I watch Hanna sink into a nearby armchair and bury her head into her hands, crying softly.

Even if I refuse for it to show, I grieve for the man who has transformed my heart in so many different ways, the man who had done terrible things but also opened the window to a part of his heart that was flooded with light instead of darkness.

The person who deserved to die was Judson, the man with a stone for a heart, the person who started the engine of the train to hell that we all ended up on. A man with no flicker of light inside his soul. The murderer.

Adrian lowers himself onto the couch next to me, balancing the briefcase on his lap. He flips it open and gazes into it for a while.

“What did you have to get that was so urgent?” Hanna asks.

“A few things to help Ivy get back home.” Adrian looks up at me. “Damien wanted to give this to you before you left for the US.” He pauses. “He had come to his senses in the end and did plan on letting you go … doing the right thing.”

My breath catches inside my throat at the sight of the crisp dollar bills on one side of the briefcase. While I’m struggling to get my mouth to close, Adrian shifts around the other contents of the briefcase before giving up and handing me the whole thing. It’s heavier than it looks.

“Everything you need is in there. I’m sorry you had to go through . . . all that.” Adrian stands and goes to stand next to Hanna’s armchair, a hand on top of her head.

I lift a passport from the case and flip it open. It’s mine. My identity. Damien must have snuck into my dorm room to steal it before kidnapping me.

I study it in silence. Will I even be able to travel with it seeing that I’m believed to be dead? I guess I’ll just have to get to the US Consulate to see what they say and ask for their help. I need to get back to the States before Judson finds me. Then I have to find a place to hide until I’m one hundred percent convinced that Judson is behind bars again, for good this time. Before that, it would be a terrible idea for me to reveal myself to anyone who knows me or to the press.

“The money?” I ask, touching a top note with the tip of my finger.

“It’s to keep you afloat for a while, wherever you decide to go.” Adrian returns to the couch and lifts the notes to reveal a white envelope with the Steel Enterprises logo in one corner. “That’s for you too. A letter from him.”

Sucking in a breath, I pick up Damien’s last letter to me. I expel the breath through my mouth and open it.

Ivy my love,

If you’re reading this, our time together has come to an end. You have left me and I’m to blame. In my attempts to love you, I’ve hurt you in unforgivable ways. The words bleeding onto this paper are not enough to express how sorry I am for being cruel, for breaking your heart with my love for you. Maybe I’m naïve but I dare to hold the hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me for destroying your heart and your life. I wish I could turn back the clock and do everything differently.

I wish I’d realized sooner that loving you too much is the surest way of losing you. Holding you tight has only suffocated you and pushed you further away. This goodbye is inevitable and it’s my bloody fault. Nothing will ever be able to repair the parts of you I damaged, but I’m hoping that the little I’m offering you will make it easier for you to get back into your life. I hope you find someplace safe and far away from me, where you can rebuild your life and find happiness.

I hope you get your life back, that you’ll find your laughter again. I’m such a fool for making everyone believe you’re dead, even though you are the most vibrant person I have ever met. I never told you this, but you gave me my life back.

It may be selfish of me to say this but I have to say it. The truth remains that my love for you is real. It hurts to think I’ll never see your sweet face again, but that’s a punishment I deserve and have to live with.

Goodbye, Rosebud, forever if that’s your wish.

D.S.

A teardrop hits the page as I fold up the letter. Damien is not the man I’d fallen for in Oaklow, the man who had arrested me with his words. The man who wormed his way into my heart is Judson, the devil. Having seen Judson’s true colors, perhaps I should be grateful it was Damien who showed up first. If it had been Judson who had kidnapped me, I’d probably be dead by now, or lost to the point I’m be unable to recognize myself.

I slide the letter back underneath the cash and close the briefcase, but hold on to my passport. I change my mind and reopen it, removing a handful of cash. Without counting the bills, I press them into Adrian’s hand. If I didn’t need the money to get out of Mexico, I’d have given them everything.

Adrian pushes the money back into my hand and curls my fingers around it. “This is too much. We can’t take it.”

Hanna comes to sit on the other side of me. “He’s right. We’re not worthy of your generosity. Not after what we did. We buried our heads in the sand while you endured so much suffering.”

“You did nothing wrong.” I sigh. “Damien was your boss. You did what you thought was right. And you’re here now. You stepped up for me when it mattered most.” I hand the money to Hanna this time. “Please take it.”

Hanna nods and takes the money. She squeezes my hand.

“Will you return to Oaklow?” Adrian shifts in his seat. “I don’t mean to pry. You deserve to live your life how and where you please. It’s just that I promised Damien I’d make sure you’re safe.”

“I have no idea. So much has changed. I’m not sure I still have a life where I left it.” I chew a corner of my nail. “Oaklow is the last place I felt at home. I don’t know where else to go.”

“If Judson escapes, Oaklow would be the first place he looks for you.”

I suck in a breath before I release it through my nose. The thought of Judson still roaming free is one I do not want to entertain. “How about both of you? What are your plans? You rescued me, Adrian. You could be in as much danger as I am. Judson saw you.”

“True.” Adrian runs a hand over his mustache. “That’s why we’re moving out of Mexico as well. It holds too many dark memories.”

Hanna clasps her hands in her lap, over the money I gave her. “We’ve been considering returning to the US for a while now. Now that Damien is . . . dead, there’s nothing keeping us here.”

“Where will you go?”

“Have you heard of Misty Cove, Florida? It’s a small beach town I used to spend most of my summers as a child, visiting my grandparents.” Adrian leans back and gazes into space. “They’re long gone now, but their cottage is still there.”

I close the briefcase and set it on the floor. “I need a place to hide out for a while. Is Misty Cove big enough for one more person?”

“Absolutely.” Adrian leans forward. “You might even find you like it enough to stay longer than a few weeks. You’re welcome to stay with us until you get back on your feet.”

Hanna gets to her feet. “That’s a wonderful idea. I think we should leave as soon as possible. We wouldn’t want Judson to find us here.”

“I agree.” Adrian pulls a pad and paper from a nearby drawer. “In fact, we should take tomorrow’s evening train to Guadalajara. We’re not taking much from this house. We want nothing weighing us down.”

“I appreciate your help.” Fresh tears fill my eyes. My experience with being on the train to Guadalajara will forever taint me, but knowing I won’t be alone this time makes me feel that much more secure. “Thank you for being here.”

Hanna waves a dismissive hand. “No need to thank us. Now, let me go make us a fresh pot of coffee. We need to discuss the details and then, Ivy, you should try and rest.”