I don’t know what has come over me. I’ve become obsessed with Ellie. Maybe even addicted to her. I want to see her all the time. I want to touch her. I need her to touch me. I crave her presence. When she’s not around, the hours drag by at a snail’s pace. And when she is around, my body gets filled with so much excitement, I’m practically bouncing off the walls.

She has forgiven me for taking her to the live sex club, but I haven’t forgiven myself. I should’ve known better, but I’ve been so completely immersed in my own world that it didn’t even occur to me that she wouldn’t necessarily be into it. The thing about my world is that women are always throwing themselves at me. I’ve been on the cover of Fortune and Time, and numerous gossip magazines and newspapers have started to refer to me as New York’s (and by that, the world’s) most eligible bachelor. And this title comes with certain responsibilities. I need to be seen and photographed with various socialites and celebrities at least once a week. And not just photographed. Women have expectations when they are taken on dates by eligible bachelors. They want to be wined and dined and fucked accordingly.

Well, I’ve known Ellie only a week, I’m already falling behind in my duties. There hasn’t been one scandal and my public relations manager is at a loss as to what to do. I mean, she does get paid a pretty penny to keep my name clean even if I do everything in my power to dirty it up.

“I’m sort of seeing someone.” I try to explain when she questions me on the phone.

“You are? Who? Is it the heiress to the Warrenhouse fortune?”

She rattles off a few other promising possibilities - women I’ve been linked to during the past few months. But I keep saying no, no, no.

“So, tell me. I mean, this is huge news.”

“No, it’s not.” I shake my head. “It’s not news at all. I don’t want it public. We don't want it public.”

I correct the word I to the word we because I actually have no idea how Ellie would respond to any of this. And I don't want to spring it on her. I need for things to remain as normal as possible between us because I’m terrified of breaking the spell that she has put me under.

“Listen, I can’t talk about this anymore. I’m spending the weekend on the yacht again. I’ll be in touch afterward.”

After hanging up abruptly, my thoughts turn back to Ellie. She’s actually going to the yacht party again. I thought that she would, but I wasn’t completely sure. I know that going to the last one was a big deal for her. Very out of character. That’s one of the reasons why I like her so much. She is very much unlike all the typical girls that I tend to meet.

And I do like her. No, that’s not the right word, is it? It’s more like love. I already told her that I’m falling for her. But that was a lie. A big lie. I’m in love with her. And I think I’ve been in love with her since the first night that we spent together. I just haven’t told her yet. It’s too soon, right? I mean, we just met. I don’t want to freak her out. I don't want to come on too strong. And yet, this is how I feel. And I also know that I’m a coward for not telling her the truth about my feelings.

I open the banking app on my phone. Speaking of Ellie, I still owe her the rest of the money for the week she has agreed to be mine. The week didn’t go exactly as planned, but I’m a man of my word and I always pay my debts. Somewhere in the back of my head, I get a nagging feeling of insecurity. What if she’s only spending time with me because of the money? I know she has never done anything like this before, but that doesn’t mean that the money isn’t alluring. Enticing. Captivating. What if this whole thing has been a game? What if it’s just pretend? I transfer the rest of the balance I owe her and toss my phone on the couch. I guess this weekend I will find out for sure. I’m not paying her any more money to be with me. So, if she continues to act just as interested and our connection remains strong, then what I’m feeling is real and authentic. And if she doesn’t? My heart drops a bit. I guess it has all been a charade and I’ll have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and move on with life. What else is there to do?

Just then, my phone rings. My heart skips a beat at the thought that it might be Ellie. But when I glance down at the screen, I see that it’s Alexis. My ex-wife. Fuck. I don't want to pick up, but I know her too well. She’ll just keep calling.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to tell you that you're an asshole.” She starts talking almost immediately. This is her natural state - rushed and out of control. Whenever you enter a conversation with her, it feels like you've been in it for quite some time and you’re always playing catch up.

“What is it now?” I ask.

“I come to you for help and you just turn me away. I mean, what kind of friend does that?” she asks.

“Alexis, it’s not my fault that your husband took off on you and Rory. He’s an asshole. But I told you that a million times. I also told you to leave him a million times. I said I would help. But do you listen? No, of course not.”

“Whatever.”

I don’t know what else to say. Alexis’ modus operandi is drama. She needs constant stimulation in her life to give it meaning. I didn’t understand that when we were married. I tried to calm her down. I tried to make peace. But that’s not what she wants. She wants something more exciting. And I’m just not the person to give her that anymore.

“I’m busy,” I say after a moment of silence. “I have to go.”

“Why can’t you just be there for me? Don’t I mean anything to you anymore?”

I hang up the phone. No, you don’t, actually. That’s what I think, but it’s not something I can say out loud. I’m not that cruel. There was a time when I was desperately in love with Alexis. She was tall and beautiful and full of life. She’s still tall and beautiful, but what I used to think was her exuberance was just a desperate attempt to fill her life with drama. And I don't have time for that. I need my life to be calm and predictable. At least, when it comes to relationships. Well, not really relationships. I don't really know what I need in a relationship. The truth is that I haven’t been in one since I was with Alexis, and I’ve used women mainly to have a good time with. Sex. Food. Fun. More sex. That’s all I’ve really had since Alexis. Until I met Ellie.