CHAPTER FIVE
I awoke the next morning to a knock on my bedroom door. Eyes bleary and head pounding I groaned and looked at the alarm clock on my bedside table.
It was eight o’ clock in the morning.
I’d slept for hours.
No wonder my head was pounding.
Frowning at the clothes I still wore from yesterday I heard the knock again. Oh right. That’s what woke me. “Yes?” I had a frog in my throat so I cleared it and called out again.
“It’s Xavier, Miss Jennings. May I come in?”
“Of course.” I pushed up into a sitting position as the door opened and Xavier strode in carrying a breakfast tray. “Morning.” I smoothed my hair back, wondering if my make-up was smeared all over my face.
Xavier smiled. “Good Morning, Miss Jennings. Mr. Mandeville thought you might like to take breakfast in bed today.”
He did?
Brows drawn together I could only watch as Xavier placed the breakfast tray over my lap. “Some hot food, as well as pastries, orange juice and English Breakfast tea.”
“Perfect. Thank you, Xavier. And uh… please pass along my thanks to Griffin.” It was extremely thoughtful of him to have breakfast sent up to me.
What was going on?
Xavier left me to it and I stared at the tray of food. My stomach rumbled as if the sight and smell suddenly reminded it, it hadn’t eaten in over fifteen hours. As I ate and sipped at the tea, the memories of yesterday flooded me.
My belly flipped unpleasantly and I dropped the piece of toast I’d been eating. Mel had set me up. She’d conned me.
And I’d subsequently cut her out of my life.
Shivering, I pushed the tray away and tried to get out of bed. However, I swayed almost immediately with lightheadedness. Sighing, I grabbed the piece of toast again and forced myself to eat it.
Griffin absolved me of my guilt in the deception. He’d seemed genuinely concerned for me. Scowling I remembered feeling utterly exhausted as he carried me into the club and up to the penthouse.
It was awful that the reason for him no longer feeling animosity toward me was because he now felt pity for me over my sister’s betrayal. I glanced around the bedroom, realizing I’d have to pack and leave. There was no reason for me to be here anymore.
Panic niggled at me as I wondered if Mrs. Donovan and Angela would take me back.
If not, I’d have to leave Boston. I couldn’t afford to stay in such an expensive city without a job and no place to rent.
Despite the nausea I felt from losing my sister, having slept too much and anxiety over my future (seriously it was shocking I could even function), I forced myself into the shower. I forced myself to blow dry my hair and put on my make-up. I forced myself to dawn an armor of stylish designer gray plaid pencil skirt and black silk blouse.
And I forced myself to go in search of Griff to apologize once more and say… well… to say goodbye.
The thought made my fingers tremble as I pressed the elevator button.
Why should I care if we never saw each other again? Our interactions hadn’t exactly been easy these past few months.
The elevator doors slid open and I froze at the sight of Griff standing inside of it. He quirked an eyebrow and then stepped out. I moved back to give him some room.
“I was just coming to see you,” he said, studying me. “You slept a while.”
“I know.” I pushed my hair back, feeling shy and uncertain for some strange reason. “Sorry.”
Griff frowned. “No need to apologize. You had a shock. Adrenaline crashes can make you sleep for ages.”
“I suppose.”
He gestured toward the drawing room across from us. “Will you come sit? We need to talk.”
I had to admit it was strange having congenial Griff back. I’d anticipated the rest of our interactions being caustic at worst and indifferent at best for the rest of our acquaintance. The truth yesterday had changed that.
I sat on the chesterfield sofa, my back straight, my body tense, while Griff sat near me in the armchair, his elbows braced on his knees as he leaned forward and continued to study me.
I huffed, “You don’t need to look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re afraid I might shatter into glass at any second.”
He smirked. “I didn’t realize I was looking at you like that.”
“I’m stronger than I look,” I promised him.
Griff frowned. “With how much loss you’ve endured in your life, I have no doubt.”
Unable to meet his sympathetic gaze for fear I’d burst into tears at his sudden kindness, I looked around the formal room. Weird, but in all my time here I hadn’t ventured out into the rest of the penthouse much. I’d kept myself to my bedroom, feeling like an intruder.
Which reminded me. “It won’t take me long to pack. At all. Most of what I brought with me belongs to you.”
“Yes, that’s why I wanted to talk.”
God, I bet he couldn’t wait to get rid of me. Why did that hurt? It shouldn’t hurt. Just yesterday morning I hated him! He shows me some kindness and now I’m going to miss him?
I was a mess.
“No need. I’m just sorry your time has been wasted.”
“I didn’t search you out to ask you to pack your things, Scarlett.”
I finally met his gaze, confused.
Griff’s expression was determined. “You should stay. I’ll pay you to stay and marry me.”
Shocked, I could only stare at him.
He wanted us to continue the ruse?
It would solve my employment and living situation problems… but… I studied his handsome face and suddenly let in memories I’d deliberately shut out.
His fingers bit into my thigh as he pulled slightly out and then drove back into me. “Christ, you’re so tight, so fucking tight, ” he panted before kissing me roughly.
At first he glided in and out of me with barely controlled carefulness.
It wasn’t enough and I became someone else in that moment. A being of lust and addiction. “Fuck me, Griff,” I whispered against his mouth. “Please, just fuck me. I need you.”
I blinked, flushing at the memory.
He made me feel and do and say things I hadn’t ever imagined myself feeling, doing and saying. To have him pay me after what we’d shared just felt wrong.
“I’m not interested in money, Griff. If money was what I wanted I would have gone onto business or law school, not become a librarian.”
“Then do it for me. As an apology for lying to me.”
So much for being over it. I narrowed my eyes. “Five years is a pretty long apology.”
He grimaced and waved a hand. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean for that to sound accusatory.” He sighed. “What if we make it a year instead? You only have to live here for a year as my wife—in name only, of course. Then you can leave and if you require a divorce before five years, I’ll grant you it.”
“And I can still return to work?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. If I’m working I don’t need or want you to pay me. I’ll be living here free of charge, meals taken care of, and a wardrobe that could sufficiently last a lifetime. I don’t need to be paid on top of all that.”
Griff shook his head. “I need to pay you, Scarlett. This is a business deal.”
Perhaps Griff was really over our attraction but I wasn’t. I definitely wasn’t immune to him as much as I wished I could be. I’d fight my attraction. I would. But deep in the back of mind, I thought about what would happen if we ever gave into our chemistry again. No way did I want Griff to be able to turn around after it and say he didn’t know whether I’d slept with him because he was paying me or because I really wanted to.
“We do this without money passing hands or no deal.” I lifted my chin stubbornly.
Griff’s eyes dropped to my mouth before moving back to lock gazes. After staring at me for what felt like forever he gave me a curious curl of his lips. An almost smile but not quite. “Why would you do this if you’re not being paid?”
I shrugged. “Guilt. I feel partly to blame for the predicament you find yourself in. But it’s not entirely altruistic… I don’t really have anywhere else to go. Boston’s an expensive city to live in.”
“Yes it is. You know, you’re an unusual woman, Scarlett Jennings.”
I didn’t know how to take that so I just shrugged. “Does that mean we have a deal?”
He scratched his chin in thought and something that looked like uneasiness passed over his expression. I’d understand why when he said, “What happened before won’t happen again.”
So he still didn’t forgive me after all.
As if he’d read my mind he continued, “Not because I still blame you. I don’t. In fact, I’m inclined to believe you deserve your sister’s betrayal less than anyone I’ve ever met. I’m sorry she’s a complete and utter bitch.”
“I can think of worse words to describe her.”
“Me too. I was trying to be sensitive.”
“How novel,” I teased.
Griff grinned. “I deserve that.” Then his smile dropped. “I made a mistake crossing the line with you, Scarlett. You’re very beautiful and I like you. But I don’t do relationships and you are not the experienced escort I took you for. Before I gave into temptation thinking you understood it was just sex. But you’re not who I thought and knowing that… I just… I wouldn’t want a physical relationship between us to be misconstrued as something else and then affect our deal. Understand?”
It was my turn to grimace. “You think I’m an inexperienced, sheltered librarian who couldn’t handle a casual-sex arrangement.”
“Yes.”
His view of me left me feeling hurt. Had he only had sex with me because he thought I was experienced and confident? Now that he knew I was a quiet librarian had my appeal withered?
And why did I care?
“It’s fine.” I pasted on a brittle smile. “I’m not looking for a relationship. Or any kind of connection, casual or serious. I’m happy alone.”
Griff shook his head. “You’re not meant to be alone. One day you’ll marry again for real.”
“Will you ever marry for real?”
“Definitely not.”
“I believe you. So why don’t you believe me when I say it?”
“Fair enough.” He stood up abruptly. “It would be a damn shame though. My life is my work and I’m content with that. I wouldn’t want it any other way. But you have so much to offer a man, Scarlett. You should reconsider.”
I shook my head. “I can’t offer the one thing a husband deserves.”
“What’s that?”
“My heart.” I stood up too, watching his expression as I added, “I gave that away to my first husband.”
A muscle ticked in Griff’s jaw and his words were tight when he replied, “That is an overly generous gift I suggest you take back. He’s had it long enough.” Before I could reply he strode toward the door and threw over his shoulder, “I’ll have the new contracts drawn up. We leave for Martha’s Vineyard this weekend.”
And just like that I was back where I started only a few days ago, wondering how I could possibly marry this man and pretend his indifference toward me didn’t bother me?