Chapter Eight
“See you later,” Derek said, handing the reins to Dylan and taking off for the house like a jackrabbit. The kid was quite pleased with himself, if his grin was anything to go by.
Dylan came to stand next to her, his nearness sending shivers down her spine even though it was eighty-five degrees outside.
“How do you want to do this? Each do our own and then brush down Jezebel together?” he asked.
“I guess. I’m still thinking you lost on purpose, and I haven’t forgiven you yet, so I might let you do Jezebel all by yourself.” She would never back out on her part of the bargain, but there was no harm in taunting him.
“I plead the Fifth, but I can’t believe you would welch on a bet just to avoid me. I don’t bite.”
“That remains to be seen.”
Kayla was in over her head and had no idea how to swim in the sea of emotions threatening to drown her. It was easier to stay focused on Dizzy, each pull of the brush delivered with precise, long strokes. Anything to keep her mind off Dylan standing less than ten feet away.
She stalled as long as possible, to the point Dizzy nudged her shoulder as if to urge her on. The mare wanted her reward and was impatient. Kayla took the lead and led Dizzy back to her stall where fresh hay and an apple would be expected.
Dylan had already started on Jezebel, but it was only fair since she thought he threw the race. They hadn’t said more than ten words while they groomed their horses, leaving Kayla to wonder what he was thinking. It wouldn’t be as easy to ignore him when they worked side by side, but for her peace of mind, she would try.
“’Bout time you got to your end of the deal. Figured you were moving at a snail’s pace to make sure I did all the work,” Dylan said. His eye-crinkling, sexy smile melted her resistance to fight back.
“I was, but since I consider myself an honorable person, I couldn’t not help. No matter how much it pains me to work with you.” She had to remember the reality between them. She had to stay strong against the charm he wore like a second skin.
“Kayla. Stop. It doesn’t have to be this way between us.” He stopped brushing, one hand on the mare’s head to hold her still. His gaze seared Kayla with its intensity, but she kept stroking Jezebel. She wasn’t about to let him see how much he was affecting her.
“Yes, it does. I’m glad you walked away, but it didn’t make it hurt any less at the time.” There. She’d said it. Maybe saying it would finally put an end to the mind-numbing hold strangling her emotions.
“I’m sorry. I would have given anything not to hurt you. Sleeping with you was a mistake, and it made it ten times harder to let you go.”
“A mistake,” she said, her voice tight. “That’s what you’re calling it?”
Her pile-of-crap meter overflowed.
“You don’t know the flipping meaning of a mistake,” she continued before he had a chance to answer. “Just like you have no idea how much your mistake cost me. Us. You walked away and never looked back. It took me years to get over your betrayal and the pain of rejection, and all I ask for now is for you to leave me alone. I can’t go through it again.” Her voice was a strangled whisper and foreign to her ears.
So much for not showing how much he affected her.
“That’s twice you’ve alluded to something in the past, and I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. What happened, Kayla?” He took a step closer.
She’d said too much already, and she’d be damned if she’d spill her guts now. It was over.
“Nothing. It’s in the past where it belongs.”
“Any chance you’re not over me? Because I’m a long way from being over you, darling.”
“Sorry, can’t fix the damage you did. Not now. Not ever. Don’t do this to me, please.” She stepped away, needing the distance like a shield of armor against his words. Tears welled up, and she fought to hold them off. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him. Over him. Not anymore. That part of her life was history.
“Why not now?” He scowled.
“There’s too much bad history. I’m…” No. She wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t tell him about the past. It would serve no purpose to dredge up painful memories.
“You’re what?” he persisted.
The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. “I’m leaving in a few days. My life is in the city, and I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at. No way I’m letting anything get in the way, and most certainly not anyone. Especially you. You had your chance, and you threw me away like a rotted sack of horse feed.”
The words came out all wrong. She sounded more like a wounded girl crying out for attention than someone over and done with the past.
Mistake. Yeah, it was a mistake all right, her biggest one.
“But what if you’re wrong? What if you’re not really a city girl and your heart is here?” Dylan’s words echoed in her head over and over. Her heart. Her heart would always be here, but her reality was not her heart. She wouldn’t be deceived twice.
“It’s not,” she said with finality. “I’ve got to go.” Kayla turned and ran for the house just in time. Tears slid down her face unchecked, but at least Dylan hadn’t seen them.
“Kayla, wait,” he called out after her. Nothing would get her to turn around and go back. Dylan was right where he needed to be. In her past.
Kayla reached the house and brushed away her tears. She had to pull herself together and help Sophia get ready for the wedding, get herself ready, and be down at the barn by one. Tall order and not much time.
She grabbed her emerald-green gown from the closet along with all her accessories and headed for the door, ready to take on her bridesmaid duties. The staging area had been set up in the extra bedroom, and she was already late.
“Knock knock. Everyone decent? I’m coming in,” she called out, one hand on the knob. The door was flung open and Kayla was grabbed by the arm and yanked inside.
“Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you. Sophia’s in the bathroom crying because her hair isn’t right, and she woke up with a big red spot on her chin.” Jennie was a good friend of Sophia’s, and if her frazzled condition was any indicator, there was big trouble.
“Calm down. You two finish getting ready, and I’ll talk to Sophia.” The two women looked grateful she’d arrived. Kayla dropped her things on the bed before knocking on the bathroom door.
“Sophia, it’s me. Let me in.”
The door opened immediately, and Kayla was shocked to find Sophia exactly as Jennie had described. She’d expected some exaggeration, but there was none. Sophia’s hair was a disaster. and the spot Jennie mentioned was in fact a woman’s wedding day nightmare.
“Look at me, I’m a mess,” Sophia said, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “Ethan’s going to run the other way when he gets one good look at me today.”
“Shhhh. It’ll be okay. We can take care of this, but I need you to stop crying, because red puffy eyes will last for hours if you don’t.”
“You really think you can fix me?” Sophia asked, hope lacing her words as she wiped the tears away.
“Yes. The spot on your face is from stress and your hair is probably from the hard water we have here at the farm. Both things I’ve dealt with.”
She poked her head out the door. “Can one of you get me some ice, a tube of toothpaste, and the jar of honey?”
They all looked at her like she’d lost her mind, but Sophia had stopped crying, and that’s all that mattered.
“Right away. Thanks, Kayla. You’re a life saver,” Megan said.
Two hours later, Sophia looked every inch the beautiful bride. Her hair curled around her face in silky waves. Her skin appeared flawless with the help of a little extra makeup. And her dress was the crowning glory.
A masterpiece of delicate white lace, it hung down low in the back but barely passed her knees in the front, revealing Sophia’s long legs and cowboy boots. The boots she’d chosen matched her raven-black hair, the combination stunning.
Jennie and Megan couldn’t believe their eyes. “What did you do with that stuff? It’s a miracle.”
Kayla laughed. “Good old home remedies I learned living on the farm. What do you say we go get you hitched?” she asked Sophia.
“Thanks. You’re the best.” Sophia took one last look in the mirror and grinned from ear to ear. “Yee haw,” she hollered. “I’m gonna go rope me a cowboy.”
…
Kayla was about to walk down the aisle with Dylan toward a preacher. Not exactly the way she’d planned it all those years ago, considering it wasn’t their wedding.
For months, she’d tortured herself with the images of Becky and Dylan getting married after her mother told her Becky was pregnant, but it had never happened. Kayla knew the truth about their son, even if they hadn’t admitted it to the world, and she would have given anything to switch places with Becky, married or otherwise.
Some of the time, she went so far as to torture herself and imagine the way it could have been if his love had been real. She pictured Dylan coming home every night after a long day, to her and their son. She would have been the perfect rancher’s wife. Her love had been strong enough for them both. But would it have been enough?
Kayla stepped back to take in the finished wedding decorations. Silver and gold stars hung from the rafters, the effect dazzling with the miniature lights draped across the ceiling. Red-checkered tablecloths covered the tables set up around the wedding aisle and dance floor. Dozens of locals had shown up to witness the pair tie the knot, and beyond the tables, more people stood gathered around to watch the wedding.
It may be a small community, but it was filled with down-home goodness and love.
Kayla moved to stand next to Dylan at the entrance to the barn. Dressed in a long black tuxedo jacket, black jeans, and black cowboy boots, he looked every bit like a rogue lawman, especially with his black cowboy hat tipped down low. A silver bolo tie and huge silver belt buckle finished the image off perfectly. He could have stepped right off the set of Gone with the Wind.
She glanced down at her emerald-green dress. Satin and lace and every bit designed like something a Southern belle would wear. Had Sophia planned this all along? Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara.
Kayla shook her head, disgusted by the image of them together. Did Sophia perhaps forget that Rhett rode off and left Scarlett at the end of the movie? She’d already lived that scene once, and once was enough.
Dylan turned to face her when the postmistress moved away to chat up someone else.
“You look beautiful. More beautiful than ever.” His deep, husky voice made her want to believe.
“Dylan…”
“Relax. How about a truce for the rest of the day? For Sophia and Ethan’s sake,” he said quietly.
It would be petty not to agree. The past was over, and today being her cousin’s wedding day, it was the right thing to do.
“Okay. Just for today.” Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach when his sexy country-cowboy smile beamed down at her. She might have just made a deal with the devil.
“Thank you. You won’t regret it,” he said, reaching for her hand and placing it on his arm. “You ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
The music started, and Kayla watched as the first two bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the path created through the middle of the barn. Too soon, it was their turn. Dylan’s commanding presence and firm grip kept her from running away. It was too much like her dream, except she wasn’t wearing white. One foot in front of the other, she kept walking. Smiling, happy faces turned to watch them come down the aisle. Together. Like a couple. Dylan squeezed her hand as if sensing her distress.
The crowd became a sea of faces, a blur. Except one. Kayla locked eyes with Becky. Everything else around her faded to black. It was the first time she’d laid eyes on her ex-best friend since the last time they spoke. Five years ago, Becky hadn’t even had the good grace to lie when Kayla had accused her of seeing Dylan behind her back. Pain sliced through her heart as she remembered.
Betrayal. Becky. Baby.
She hadn’t prepared for this moment, because wherever Becky went, there was sure to follow a little brown-haired boy who would probably look exactly like Dylan.
Kayla fought the rising tide of nausea threatening to consume her. Dylan’s touch burned into her skin. She steeled herself for the punch as she scanned the guests nearby in search of the child. Nothing.
Maybe she’d get lucky and Becky would have found a babysitter for the occasion.
Dylan dropped her arm when they reached the end, leaving her to stand on her side of the aisle, and he on his. The loss of contact gave her a moment of relief from the feelings threatening to overwhelm her. Everyone was in place as they waited for the bride. Ethan beamed in anticipation. All eyes turned to the barn door, but Kayla watched Dylan instead. She already knew what the bride looked like so she used the moment to watch him.
Why does he look sad? There was a quiet resignation in the way he held himself as he watched Sophia and her dad walk down the aisle.
Kayla followed his gaze. Her dad had been honored to stand up for Sophia, and he looked every inch the part of the doting father. He was still a handsome devil, and she could totally understand why her mother loved him. But had her mother always been happy or had she wanted more once upon a time?
It was a question she’d never thought to ask before.
She glanced back at Dylan, only to find his gaze locked on her. Words weren’t necessary. Kayla saw longing and regret, and it broke her heart just a little bit more. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t have the right to make her hurt.
Kayla turned back to watch Sophia. She wiped at her tears furiously with the back of her hand. Thankfully, everyone would assume it was because of the wedding.
The simple ceremony was beautiful. Two people. One love. And every part of the ceremony echoed the love between the happy couple. All too soon, the tables and chairs were pushed back to make room for the dance floor, and the music started. Sophia looked radiant in Ethan’s arms as they moved to the dance floor for their first dance as man and wife.
The song ended, and the guitar player stepped up to the mike. It should have been Dylan playing, but as one of the wedding party, he had other duties. Duties that would include spinning her around the dance floor. Her heart pounded loudly. She knew what was coming. Sophia had reminded her, but it’s not like she could ever forget.
“And now if we could get the maid of honor, the best man, and the rest of the wedding party to join the bride and groom on the dance floor, we’ll kick off this shindig.”
Dylan crossed the room to her side. “May I have this dance?” He held out his arm.
“Yes.” She laid her hand gently across his forearm.
Dylan led her to the far side of the dance floor. “I’m sorry about earlier.” He pulled her tightly against his chest, one arm looped around her back, the other holding her hand out to lead her in a waltz.
“I don’t want to discuss it,” she said, trying to hold her body stiff against his.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Let’s not talk.”
“Darling, we’ve done enough of that for five years. Don’t you think it’s time for a change? Besides, I don’t think you’re as immune to me as you claim to be.”
Weddings were hell on a person’s emotions, and being in Dylan’s arms made it worse, but him calling her darling, well, that was over the top. His hand dropped to her waist, the contact burning through the thin layers of material that separated his hand from her skin.
“I don’t know. Things are good the way they are. Why change it now?”
Kayla scanned the room as Dylan spun her around the dance floor. Anything other than looking up at Dylan and getting lost in the temptation his chocolate eyes offered.
“Are you happy in the city?” His question caught her off-guard.
“Wow. Where did that come from?” She tried to dodge the bullet.
“Answer the question. Are you happy?” he persisted.
How could she answer if she didn’t know herself? Before she’d come to visit, the answer would have been easy. Time and being back home had changed her perspective about a lot of things. A lot of things except Dylan. He’d gotten older and possibly more charming, but nothing could change the past.
“Yes.” It was the safest answer.
The city offered her the fun and excitement she’d originally longed for, but once the newness had worn off, she’d realized a lot of the people there were going through the motions of living, hopping from one party to the next, one event to the next, one dinner out to the next. There was always something going on, and people never stopped to get off the carousel and look around. To breathe.
She’d already considered moving home, but there was simply too much history in Riverbend, which was why she’d accepted the partnership offer.
“Have you ever thought of coming home?” he asked. It was like he could read her mind.
“Houston is my home now. I like it there.”
He pulled her in closer. “And I like you here.”
His words caused her to stumble. Here in Riverbend or here in his arms? Either way, his statement confused her.
She ignored his last words. “Why do you think Sophia and Ethan did this to us?” she asked bluntly. It wasn’t a big secret she didn’t want anything to do with Dylan.
“What makes you think it was planned?” he asked.
“They both know how things stand between us.”
“Maybe they’re trying to rewrite the ending.” He pulled back to smile down at her.
“You think they’re playing matchmaker? That’s crazy.”
“Is it?” He pulled her back in close, keeping her emotionally off-balance.
“Yes. It is. What things?”
“Maybe you should stick around a while. You might be surprised what you learn.” He spoke the words like a lover imparting a secret.
She swallowed hard. “I can’t. I’m leaving Wednesday. School starts back up soon, and clinic hours take up the rest of my time. They’ve offered me a partnership, and I’ve accepted. Life doesn’t revolve around Riverbend for me anymore.”
“Pity. It’s not bad here. People have a way of making you feel wanted, there’s a sense of community and pride. When times are tough, people help one another. There’s a sense of belonging I never understood when I was younger.”
It was hard to believe they were having a real conversation for the first time in years.
“You don’t regret giving up your dreams?” She hadn’t planned on getting personal, but the question slipped out.
“Who said I gave them up?” he asked softly, his lips tickly close to her ear.
She pulled back to look at him in confusion. “You still want to ride in the rodeo?”
He laughed. “No, darling, my dream was much bigger. And a whole lot sweeter.”
“Is that why you’re expanding the herd beyond what you can sustain on your own ranch? It’s a huge risk, and you could lose everything.”
Dylan led her easily around the dance floor while they talked.
“It’s definitely why I expanded. But you’re wrong. I’m not beyond what I can sustain. The drought is making it hard on everyone, not just me, and we all do what we must to survive. Yes, I could lose everything, but I doubt it will get to that. I have things under control.”
Dylan pulled her back in close and held tightly. His arm was a steel band around her waist. “Have you told your parents you’re never coming back?”
“No. Not yet.”
Just then, the song ended, and Dylan let her go. He looked deep into her eyes for a moment and then turned to leave. She watched him walk away before seeking out her parents. They wouldn’t be happy hearing about the job offer in the city, but they did need to know.
As she made her way across the room, Kayla remembered the expression on Dylan’s face. It was the same lost-puppy look she remembered when his mother died, and it tore at her heart.
When had things gotten so complicated? When I came home, is when. Specifically, when Dylan walked through the kitchen door.
“Hey, Mom, Dad.” She sat down next to her parents. “There’s something I wanted to tell you.” She tried not to focus on the hopeful look in their eyes, so she could continue. “I’ve been offered a partnership at the clinic, and I’m going to take it.”
“I don’t understand.” Her mother’s shoulders tensed ever so slightly. “You don’t need to make a decision like that until you’ve finished your last year. I always thought you’d come home.”
She followed her mother’s gaze to discover she was watching Dylan and Derek.
“Sweetheart, five years is a long time. Both you and Dylan are older now. Maybe it’s time you were friends again and you both let the past go.”
“It’s not that easy. Please don’t ask me to explain.”
“You said going to accept. Does that mean you can still change your mind?” Leave it to her father to pick up on the little loophole of hope she’d used to soften the blow.
“Let’s enjoy the time we have together. Okay?”
“Sure thing, honey.” Her father hadn’t said much, but it was what he didn’t say that she found concerning. He’d accepted her declaration all too easily. He was up to something, she felt sure of it.
Kayla snuck a glance at Dylan again. Derek stood defensively in the corner, hands on his hips, an exact replica of Dylan as they squared off.
Watching from the sidelines, she didn’t notice she had company until she felt a slight tug on her dress. A little boy around four years old looked up at her with dark-brown eyes and an angelic face. The same age her son would have been. Her heart clenched.
Unable to resist, she bent down to the child’s level to talk to him. Watching other children play reminded her of what she’d lost, and she usually avoided interactions with kids. But everyone in Riverbend seemed to have a child, or two, or three, judging by the number of kids running around the barn.
“What’s your name?’ she asked.
“Bywan,” he said, his grin producing a dimple on each side of his chubby little face. “Aww you my mommy’s best friend?” he asked.
“Well, that depends on who your mommy is, now doesn’t it, Byron?” She looked around and didn’t see any mothers rushing up to corner the wandering boy and claim him.
“Mommy’s name is Mommy, silly, Auntie Kaywa. I saw you in the pictures at my house.”
She swallowed hard but couldn’t speak. She wasn’t anyone’s Auntie Kaywa or Auntie Kayla for that matter. Please don’t let this be Becky’s son. Dylan’s son. The brown eyes looking back at her could have been Dylan’s. It wasn’t fair. Kayla knew the truth but had to ask.
“Is your mommy…” she started to say, the words dying on her lips as Becky appeared to stand next to him.
“Yes, he’s mine,” Becky said, a tentative smile on her face.
Kayla felt faint. She couldn’t do this. Her heart snapped in two. This was the moment she’d shied away from, and the biggest reason she stayed away from Riverbend. Meeting Dylan and Becky’s son. It wasn’t fair to the child Dylan had never claimed the boy, and it wasn’t fair Kayla had lost her son. Byron was a beautiful reminder of a devastating past best left untouched. There was nothing she could say to make this moment right. To make this moment less painful. She turned and walked away, wiping her tears as she left.
From the corner of the room, she noticed when Becky left with Byron. Kayla wished she was the one leaving instead. In fact, she wished she’d never come to the wedding.