Chapter 18

Billy

He had taken her again, bent over her desk, pants around her ankles. She was just as unrestrained as he was, their passion intense, untamed, and furious, as though they both had a hunger they needed to feed.

For him it became more about distracting her from any thoughts about another man, desperate for her to forget that someone else wanted her, that she had a choice. He wanted to possess her, covet every inch of her, so that Joe would know without a doubt that he had laid claim on Alice. She was his in that moment.

His jealousy caught him by surprise. Listening to her tell him that Joe had confessed his love for her, triggered something in him he had never experienced before, and while he tried to play it cool, part of him wanted nothing more than to find Joe and throttle him. Of course, it wasn’t Joe’s fault. Joe was not the outsider here, he was.

Instead, he worked off his aggression by fucking her without mercy, and as if sensing his urgency, Alice matched him unreservedly.

Alice pulled up her jeans, ignoring the creamy wetness that covered her thighs. He removed the condom, tossing it into the trash then pulled up his own jeans. He walked over and kissed her with an intensity that matched the crazy, conflicted emotions he felt.

“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of that,” she grinned, squeezing his ass.

Billy grinned and shrugged his shoulders immodestly, choosing to take it as a compliment of his prowess. Alice laughed at him and pinched his ass again.

“Easy there, big fella. I don’t have much to compare you to,” she teased.

“Let’s hope it stays that way,” he blurted without censoring his thoughts.

Alice looked at him curiously, a tiny smile on her full lips. Billy cleared his throat and eased himself away from her embrace, suddenly feeling rattled. He didn’t want to leave her with false hope, especially knowing the position he was putting her in. He had to continue to manage the situation carefully. He had no other option, which was easier said than done given his recent revelation about his feelings for her.

Billy bent down and picked up his ledger, which had spilled to the floor in the heat of their passion. He opened it up on the desk and motioned for her to join him.

“Sorry for the extreme subject change, but we need to go over these numbers,” he said cautiously.

Alice slipped behind him, draping her arm around his shoulder and leaned in. Billy smiled, enjoying the casual affection despite himself.

“As you can see we are at the stage where we have to complete the interior and install the last of the finishes. I know the amount I estimated, but I’m afraid it might come in at a bit more than we anticipated,” he said, keeping his voice level.

“Hm, how much more?” she asked mildly concerned, combing her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck.

Billy closed his eyes and exhaled quietly, trying to focus. Her touch was disarming, and hazardous to his concentration.

“I’m afraid it’s substantial, Alice,” he said quietly.

He went on to explain the work that needed to be addressed and where the numbers fell, all the while swallowing his shame.

After his conversation with James the night before, he struggled painfully with indecision. Part of him wanted to put an end to all of it, confess his feelings, then gallop off into the sunset with her on his gentle steed Donald, but he wasn’t convinced that it would last forever. She would eventually see that he was undeserving of love and move on with her life, leaving him alone once again.

Loneliness was in his wheel house. He understood it. It made sense to him. Everything else was so unfamiliar, the vulnerability, the jealousy, the desire. All of that scared the shit out of him. What the hell was missing from him that made it so impossible to let another person in?

Alice sighed deeply, dropping her hand from his neck. She leaned over the desk to take a closer look at the numbers.

“Ok, this last installment, will it get the job done? All of it?” she asked flatly.

“Yes, that’ll do it,” he answered grimly.

Alice stood up straight and walked around her desk, pulling her chair up so she could sit down. She looked worried, distress written all over her face. She sat in silence for several minutes, taking it all in.

“I’m not sure I can cover it, Billy. This is coming in sixty grand over budget. How did we not forecast this?” she asked, more concerned than accusatory.

Billy shook his head and sat down on the corner of the desk, facing her.

“It is not altogether uncommon for construction budgets to change along the way. That’s why we typically factor in a cushion, to deal with unexpected expenses,” he offered carefully.

Alice looked at him, her eyes filled with doubt. Billy looked down at the floor, unwilling to meet her gaze.

“That cushion was clearly not enough,” she said, the words crushing in her throat. “There’s only one option here. I need to get a loan or find someone willing to invest early, which won’t be easy. The arena was suppose to carry itself and earn enough profit over the next year to tweak the interest of potential investors for the next phases. I may have to stall construction until I figure this all out,” she explained, trying to control her panic, “and that will set us so far back.”

Billy placed his hand gently on top of hers.

“It will all work out. I’m confident of that. In the meantime, just transfer the amount you do have and we will keep going as far as we can. Stalling doesn’t make sense. We’ve come so far. We are at the finish line, Alice,” he coaxed cautiously.

Alice tried to meet his eyes again and this time he and smiled at her gently, masking his guilt. Alice exhaled loudly and shrugged her shoulders.

“I just don’t know what to do,” she admitted, searching his face for answers.

Billy wanted to go to her and hold her close, to take away her fears, but that seemed so hypocritical given he was the cause of them. He caressed her fingertips with his own, the only reassurance he could offer.

“Alice, let me move forward with what you have. You go to the bank and get a loan for the remainder. They will want to see what you have done and what’s remaining, so make sure you take all the information with you. With the equity you have on this land, they will approve you in no time, trust me. It’s only sixty grand,” he presented confidently.

“No, Billy, it is everything I have already invested plus sixty grand. It’s my entire life savings and now this debt on top of it? If my vision doesn’t pan out, I’ll have nothing left. I won’t be able to keep the ranch afloat. We have a lot riding on this,” she said, her insecurity grabbing hold of her with both hands and shaking her.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to understate the gravity of the added investment, but now isn’t the time to lose courage. No one said this was going to be a cake walk Alice, but if anyone can do it, you can. Success is reserved for hard workers who never give up. Aren’t you one of those people?” he asked, hoping to inspire her.

Alice took a deep breath and nodded, reaching for her cell phone.

“Ok, let’s get it done,” she said, transferring him the last of her money.

“Call the bank. If they come through with the loan by early next week, I promise you the arena will be complete and ready to go by mid-September,” Billy offered with mock confidence.

But he would be gone long before then.

“Ok, I’ll call the bank right now and make an appointment,” she said, picking up her cell phone a second time.

Billy stood up and gave her a kiss, a gentle peck on her cheek.

“I’m going to get back to work. I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, heading for the door.

“Billy?” Alice called out to him. He turned around to see her smiling at him.

“I almost forgot to ask. I want to take Amy to the Annual Fire Fighter Picnic on Saturday afternoon. There are lots of activities for the kids, live music, a small carnival, that sort of thing. Would you like to join us?” she asked hopefully.

Billy’s smile was tentative. While he felt honored that she had invited him he was hesitant to say yes. It was bad enough that he was deceiving Alice and knowing he was ultimately going to hurt her, but to do the same to little Amy? Then, of course, was the obvious problem. He had avoided being in public with Alice for fear that someone would recognize him, as remote a possibility as it was. That would be catastrophic to the plan.

Then again, if he said no it would raise doubts, and he couldn’t afford to let anything go wrong until she finished her business with the bank.

“That would be nice. I would like that,” he answered, making his way outside.

* * *

Billy sat in his truck in the Walmart parking lot, dialing James’ cell phone. It was just past six o’clock and he would likely still be in the office.

“William, I didn’t think I would be hearing from you so soon. What’s happening?” James inquired, forgoing the hello.

“I just received the last installment and Alice is getting a bank loan for the rest,” Billy said, his tone flat and emotionless.

“What’s your exit strategy?” James asked, not pulling any punches.

Billy frowned and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’ll be leaving as soon as the loan comes through and Alice hands it over to me. Hopefully, that will be early next week. Then I’ll pull the crew out. She’s a smart woman so I’m certain she’ll figure it all out soon after that,” Billy replied coolly.

James cleared his throat on the other end, although it might have been a chuckle. Billy wasn’t certain.

“The arena will be far from finished and she won’t have the money or the heart to find another contractor. Trust me, she’ll be crushed. The betrayal will break her,” Billy said, his words trailing off to a whisper.

James quickly chimed in.

“And then I’ll approach her with our final offer. Hopefully she will be anxious to part with her damn ranch and move on with her life. Then we can put all this drama behind us and get back to business!” James chirped, with a little too much enthusiasm, in Billy’s opinion.

“Just so we are both clear, I’ll be returning the loan money back to her after the sale is final, and the offer to purchase will be generous and include all the money she invested in that fucking arena. Understand? I may be a cold-hearted bastard but I’m not a thief,” Billy stated assertively.

This time James did chuckle.

“I’m fucking serious, James,” Billy growled, not impressed by the insensitivity his partner was showing.

“Oh, just relax, William, I’ll take care of it,” James chided, a little more condescending than Billy liked. “If I didn’t know you better, William, I would think you were smitten.”

He chuckled.

“Well you do know me better, James, and no one says smitten anymore,” Billy responded glibly, ready to end the conversation.

James laughed again, clearly appreciating Billy’s reply.

“I’ll be in touch next week,” he said, hanging up his cell.

He picked up his burner phone, the one reserved just for Alice, and read the text that chimed in while he was in the bank. His heart hammered in his chest and he slammed his hand against the steering wheel several times.

He read the text again.

Thank you for everything, Billy. I couldn’t do any of this without you.

As he was mentally berating himself for being such a jerk, a second text came through.

How about I saddle up the horses and we go for a sunset ride?

Billy reread both messages and shook his head at the sheer irony.