“What the hell is going on here!” My dad’s voice travels through the house to my parent’s master bedroom. My mother and I are ducked on the side of the bed, the cell phone still pressed to my ear.
“Alice, I have to go.” I whisper as softly and urgently as possible. “Promise me you’ll find Gavin and tell him what I told you. If you don’t, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Alice has been practically silent the entire phone call from when I first told her I was pregnant until I relayed back the story of my dad threatening to cause a miscarriage. I don’t know if she’s shocked or if this is a nightmare she too saw coming all along. Either way, I listen to her as she repeats herself, “I’ll find him. I’ll find him…. But what about the police, shouldn’t I call them. They can help you!”
The sound of two pairs of boots scuffing up the floors as they search the house is getting louder and closer as they make their way to the back where the bedrooms are. My mother tugs at my arm, trying to get me to put the phone down. I whisper back into the phone, “No, Alice. You know you can’t do that. My dad owns the police. They can’t do a thing for me. Gavin is the only person that can help me. You and him. Please Alice. Please do this.”
“They’re here!” My mom cries out a muffled sob. “Vanessa, come on!” She points towards the door ominously as we hear the first bang of a fist on the locked wooden frame.
“Vanessa! What’s going on! Are they back? I thought they were gone?” Alice’s voice breaks as I place the phone down to the ground. I cuddle myself next to my mom as she holds on tighter to me. My body leans against the speckled white wall as if I pushed hard enough, I could float through it like a ghost.
“Get the fuck out here, Olivia! You can’t protect that little slut much longer!” My dad sounds even more high than he was when he left just a half hour ago. I wonder how he managed to get a hold of those drugs or drinks in such a short time. Though knowing him and the power he has over this community, anything’s possible.
My mom rises to her knees as she shouts over the side of the bed, “Jonah, I will not stand for this. This is your daughter you’re talking about. She’s here with me, and she isn’t leaving this room. Now go do your business, and I’ll make sure she stays up here like you told her to.”
“Do you dare disobey me, woman! Do you know who I am!” He sounds as if he is throwing a childish tantrum as he stomps his boot into the floor. “I am Jonah fucking Barber and when I give you an order, I expect you to command!”
“And I am Olivia Barber, and I am Vanessa’s mother. I have just as much say in her life as you do. Now kindly go back to work and leave us be. We’re not causing you any harm in here.”
Everything stops for a moment. All four of us go silent as we wait for the breaking point. My brother and father could turn around, be out the door, and let us rest. They could also continue coming after us with all the hellfire they can summon up. There were no choices for my mother and I. We were at the mercy of their twisted minds -- waiting like helpless children.
We didn’t have to wait long, however. It started with whispers too low for us to make out. My mom even peeked her head back around the side of the bed to get in better earshot. But instead what she heard was the pound of a body against the door. The wood caved a bit, and from my view, I could see the impression of where the person’s shoulder crashed into the other side. That door wouldn’t last long.
“Jonah! Stop it! Stop it! Stop!” My mom cried out over the sounds of the body slamming even harder and faster into it. In between hits, the doorknob jiggled and twisted, the creaking sound of metal on metal echoing through the dark bedroom. Her cries were of no use. On the other side, my father began to cheer my brother on.
With only a few more hits before that door would surely bust open, my mom looked desperately towards the window. Standing quickly, she grabbed a sheet off of her bed and wrapped it around her hand and forearm. “Mom, no!” I sobbed nervously, my heart pounding with each rattle of the door behind us.
“Stand back Vanessa.” She commanded calmly as she positioned herself in the center of the window. I leaned even closer to the wall, ducked between the bed and a nightstand. She takes one deep breath before throwing her fist right at the glass. In a loud crash, a tiny million shards of glass break out. Her fist flies as she makes a large hole in the window. It’s wide enough that she can reach the lock my father had installed on the top so that she could never open it from the inside. When it’s free, she lifts the rest of the window above her head and motions for me.
I only have seconds to look at the damage the glass has done. The white sheet is tattered and torn -- it’s color a ruby red stain that continues to grow as it ties around my mom’s arm. “Go, Vanessa. Get out of here. Run as fast you can, and don’t you look back. Find Gavin so he can take care of you and that baby.”
“Mom---” My voice chokes as I look back and forth between her tear filled eyes and the open window before me. “You ---”
“No, Vanessa. I can’t come with you. You have to do this yourself. I can hold them off. I promise you. Just get yourself down to my car. There’s a key in the glovebox. Drive yourself somewhere safe where no Bloody Pagan can get you. They’ll be looking for you soon.” My father and brother’s drunken laughs are practically drowning out my mom’s orders, but I hear her clearly.
I put my head out through the window, spotting the branch to the tree that Gavin used to climb to my window. If I jump from the small ledge, I could make it, but if I fell, it would be a broken leg for sure. I had to try though. The imprint of my brother’s body had finally crashed through. And now mixed with the glittering glass shards were the unmistakable white wood chips.
Careful to avoid the large icicle like pieces of glass still hanging just above the bottom half of the window, I push my way through, clinging for the siding of the house. My feet hit the ledge and I slowly manage to stand up. My mom watches me as I scurry to the edge of the cement and brick passway. I count to three slowly… 1…. 2…. 3…. And then leap, my arms outstretched through the air for the branch. I feel the scrape of the skin first before I feel the trunk of the tree against my feet. I use the weight of it to push myself back onto the branch that leans just outside my bedroom window.
As I get ready to climb down, I spot something. In the wind, there blows a slight little bit of paper stuck between the crack of my window. My arm reaches out to get it, but I stop when I hear the final break through the door. While I can’t see anything, I can hear the shouts as clear as can be.
“Olivia! What the fuck did you do? You stupid woman!” Her body falls to the ground with a slam while my brother laughs loudly. “You think you own this house, don’t you? Don’t you!” There’s another cry as she is tousled around. I know I don’t have much time. They’ll soon realize I’m gone and there won’t be much time to escape them on their bikes. I grab the piece of paper, careful not to rip it, and scurry down the tree.
My feet hit the grass and I take off as fast as I can towards my mother’s car parked at the very end of the driveway. It’s thankfully unlocked, and the key is exactly where she said it would be. I start the old Cadillac, uncaring who can hear me. My mother’s favorite music -- old time country blares on the stereo. A on old woman singing about sticking with her man through good times and in bad croons over the sound of the tires squealing as I pull out quickly from the driveway.
As I go to turn, I see the figure of my mother in the window. The light is now on, my brother standing next to the lightswitch with a look of passive boredom on his face. My father points to Martin as he walks out slowly down towards my bedroom, most likely still looking for me. When he’s gone, my father walks towards my mom, his steps completely unsteady as he wobbles towards the window. I watch in horror as he grabs her by her neck so that she pushes up against the wall.
I want to scream. I want to honk my horn. I don’t want to watch this, but I owe it to my mother. I don’t dare blink. And as I think she’s taking her last breathes, I spot the hand that is still wrapped up in the ruby red sheet. It lifts towards the air near my father’s chest. A gleam of light hits the edge of a long piece of glass before she uses the unbroken piece to slice into his chest like a butcher’s knife. He stumbles backwards as she runs, bolting out of the room with the glass still in her hand.
With my mom at least somewhat safe, I tear out the neighborhood towards the city. My mom’s words of warning about Pagans looking for me rings in my head, so I stick to main roads where they wouldn’t dare start anything. I past the Sunset Bar where a bank of motorcycles are parked, and then the turnoff for the warehouse district where the Pagans’ headquarters are located. I skip all of these familiar places and instead head towards the vets office where I do my rounds at as an intern.
There’s only one car in the brightly lit parking lot, but I have to stop somewhere. I don’t think I have breathed once since I watched my mom practically butcher my dad. The look in her worn eyes stay with me as I think of how long she waited for that moment. I wonder if she planned that all along, if that was something she had dreamed about after nights he spent beating her up. No matter what happened to her, I would always be proud of her for finally getting her dues.
I sink back into the seat, listening to the same woman continue to sing. I allow my eyes to close for just a second so that I can check in on my body. I’m physically okay, but my heart will not stop thudding up against the walls of my chest. And my hands are soaked in sweat. That’s when I realize that I’m still holding on to that piece of paper I grabbed from my bedroom window.
My fingers shake as I unfold it. The messy, dark handwriting is running from the moisture, but I can just barely make out the few words on the small shred of paper:
Vanessa,
If you need to get away, go to our spot where it all happened. I will find you there.
I love you,
Gavin
I flip the white paper back over disappointed, searching for more answers. That’s it? What does he mean -- the “spot where it all happened?” I pound my head into the headrest as I try to decipher it. Does he want to me to go back to headquarters where I met him at that party? Even with him having a plan, there’s no way in hell that the Pagans’ headquarters was anything but safe. And it couldn’t’ be his apartment. That would be one of the first places my brother or dad would look for us. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were already headed there. And it couldn’t be the Sunset Bar -- the Pagans were already assembled there.
And then it dawns on me. Where “it” started wasn’t us meeting or me sleeping in his bed. It wasn’t me wrapping his hand up while I was drunk. It wasn’t us fooling around in the back room of his favorite bar. Where it started was in my car in the desert. It is where we made love for the first time. It is where we conceived our child. It is where I knew that I loved him.
I start the car back up and pull out of the driveway. Getting to that spot in the desert wasn’t going to be easy with Senators and Pagans prowling their territory and my brother and dad just on my heels, but I had to get there. When Alice got to Gavin, that would most likely be the first place he would go in search of me.
The tires of my car howl as they burn on the pavement. I swing the car round pointing it straight towards my destination. No one could stop me now.