Current Day

I glance around the apartment, at the countless stacks of old newspapers, giant trash piles, and two piles of what looks like clothing. Every pile is overflowing, some so high that they nearly touch the ceiling. There is a path carved out among the piles of stuff, but I’m afraid to move too fast. It looks like it could all be set off into a miniature avalanche with one wrong move.

I lift a sheet of plywood up that was on top of a bunch of broken down dishwashers. Whatever is underneath smells pretty foul. I take a step back, wrinkling my nose.

“Dude.” Asher covers his mouth and coughs as dust flies everywhere. We’re on the other side of our duplex, cleaning out the side used for storage.“I literally think the landlord used to store actual junk here. And I think at some point he had animals.”

I just grunt in acknowledgment. I hulk out, lifting the plywood overhead and carefully picking my way through the piles of broken computer parts and newspapers until I get outside. I set the plywood down on the porch, beside the other large pieces of junk that we’ve pulled out of the house.

It feels good to move around a little, after not doing anything too physically strenuous for a few days. My t-shirt is a little sweaty; I pull it away from my skin, giving myself a little air.

Asher joins me, handing me a bottle water. “What do you think?”

I look at him, twisting the cap on the water. “About what?”

“About the house. I mean, can you see this side being lived in, after we clean it out?”

I consider that for a minute, peering back inside. “Yeah. I mean, I think that the house has good bones. But there is just a ton of crap inside.”

“Yeah. I’m thinking of backing my truck up here on the lawn so we can get rid of all those newspapers. The dishwashers, though…”

I lean against the house. “Anything that has to go to the dump, you can just pay to have it all hauled away by the regular trash guys. I think you just call them to arrange it.”

“Hmm,” he says, nodding. “Should we get a start on the newspapers?”

“Yeah. If you want to pull your truck up, I’ll start moving stacks of them onto the porch.”

“Word.” He jumps off of the porch, and I head inside.

I grab a bunch of newspapers off of the nearest pile, hauling them outside. I glance at Asher, who is backing up his truck. He’s been pretty quiet about where he’s been recently, but he’s definitely been somewhere other than here.

It’s a little weird, because I feel like I’ve been here, hanging around. Waiting for Asher to confide in me again, like we used to in the old days.

I mean, I even broke things off with Emma, thinking that Asher would find out and be really upset. But of course, he hasn’t even been around enough to find out anything…

He’s been really self-involved lately. With Evie, apparently, according to his own drunk confession. I’m not sure that he even remembers his little drunk confession, or that he was heartbroken over Evie.

Something bad must have happened between them… but judging by the fact that Asher hung out for a couple weeks and then vanished, I would guess that it has been resolved.

I’m not mad about that, in itself. I’m just mad because I could be wrapped up in myself, wrapped up in Emma, if it wasn’t for the friendship I have with Asher.

Basically now I’m left wondering if I overreacted and shot myself in the foot over something he doesn’t even really care about. Asher gets out of the truck and lets the gate down, then heads up to the porch.

“Let me grab these really quick…” Asher says, moving the few stacks of newspapers I’ve already dragged out of the house into the truck.

Then we are both grabbing stacks of newspapers, hauling them outside, and tossing them into the back of the truck. For a while, I am happy enough to do it in silence, but after a bit I grow tired of the silence.

“Where have you been staying at for the last little while?” I ask, hauling a stack of newspaper up from the living room floor.

Asher falters a bit. “I didn’t realize that you’d noticed.”

I raise a brow. “You thought I wouldn’t notice when you all but disappeared from the house that we both live in?”

“Right.” He shakes his head. “I just sort of hoped that you would do what you always do, which is shack up with some surfer chick and not really pay as much attention to what I do.”

I pause. “You think that’s what I do?”

“I mean, yeah. That’s been your M.O. for a few years.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way. “Alright, but aside from me. Why are you like… avoiding the house?”

He picks up a stack of newspapers, taking a moment to carry it outside and toss it. When he comes back, he wipes sweat from him brow.

“I’m not trying to. I just… I’ve been seeing this girl, and she is pretty obsessive about keeping things private.”

“You mean Evie, right?”

He looks a me, clearly surprised. “How do you know it’s Evie?”

I roll my eyes. “You told me when you were drunk. You called her a bitch, too.”

Asher frowns. “I am such a traitor when I’m drunk. I really shouldn’t have told you anything.”

I give him a look. “Dude, I’m the best friend you’ve got in the world. You can tell me anything.”

He looks away. “I know, but…”

I am more than a little offended. “What do you mean, but?”

He seems to realize that he has stepped into a no-go area. “Sorry. I just… I shouldn’t talk about it.”

I lift a pile of newspaper. “So that’s it, then? We were best friends, until a girl came between us?”

“It’s not like that. We’re still best friends—”

My face contorts. “Except that your girl comes first. Is that right?”

“Not in so many words.”

“This is bullshit,” I bite off, heading back outside. I throw the papers into his truck, disgusted. With him, but also with myself.

Asher follows me onto the porch. “You’ll understand when you meet the girl you’re supposed to be with.”

Emma flashes in my mind, first thing. I mean, Emma and I never got far enough for me to know for sure, but I’m still resentful as hell. I glare at him.

“And how do you know that I haven’t?” I challenge.

“Dude, you would know. You wouldn’t be able to shut up about it.”

“Maybe I would be able to. Maybe I am just better at keeping my fucking mouth shut than you are.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “You haven’t dated anybody for long enough to have a horse in this race.”

I clench my fists. If Asher was hoping to pick a fight today, mission accomplished.

“You don’t know me,” I say through gritted teeth. “You used to, but not anymore. You have no idea who I date, and no say either.”

“No say?” He seems to find that part confusing.

I open my mouth to tell him everything, to spill my guts about Emma.

And his motherfucking phone rings. He glances at me, frowning, and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“Shit,” he mutters. He turns away from me, picking up. “Hello?”

He talks for a minute, periodically glancing back at me. Then he ends the call.

“That was Gunnar. There is something wrong with all of the coolers at Cure. They just aren’t working.”

“What? Why didn’t he call me?”

Asher shrugs. “I don’t know. But I have to go over to the bar for a while. I assume that we’re going to need some kind of maintenance person to repair whatever’s broken.”

I narrow my eyes. “Uh huh.”

“Come on, don’t give me grief over this. We’ll finish our conversation later.”

I shrug. “No need. I feel like we’ve said all that there is to say, really.”

I walk back into that wreck of a house, fuming.

“Jameson!” Asher calls.

But I’m done. Done with his self-involvement. Done pretending that we are best friends. He has been brutally honest about the fact that he considers Evie his best friend, anyway.

Most of all, I’m done with his bullshit rules.

Of course, it’s a little too late for me to just go up to Emma and tell her. I feel like I’m sorry, I changed my mind isn’t going to cut it.

But it’s sort of freeing to know that in the future, I don’t have to live by his rules anymore. The question is, what does a future without Asher’s restrictive rules look like?

And why do I have trouble imagining any future with anyone but Emma?