The Desert Rose Photography Studio is quiet today. The last couple of weeks have been crazy with all the high-school homecoming celebrations and portraits, but now we’re in that period where everyone has had quite enough pictures, thank you very much. I’m hoping that in the downtime I’ll be able to take some time and work on my own stuff, but we’ll see how it goes. Right now though, I’m engrossed in a website. Club Deep’s website, to be precise.

This is not at all what I expected.

The homepage is dark, the background a subtle picture of dancing women in silhouette. Their tagline the only text on the homepage: “Be who you really are.”

But it’s the ‘About’ page that really gets me. Club Deep is a sex club. A real-life actual sex club where people go to do…well it seems like pretty much anything. There are pictures of themed rooms for sex, packages for private rooms and pictures of a massive dance floor. I didn’t realize that these things existed outside of movies and books. This isn’t something I would have ever considered doing, but the way he—Hudson—said it so casually, If you come to Club Deep.

What would it be like to go to a sex club? Maybe not even to have sex, but to just see what it’s like? To see what kind of people actually go. And if I happen to run into Hudson while I’m there, then that’s all the better, right? The thought makes me blush almost as much as I did when he called me beautiful. Even when I wasn’t in the middle of a dry spell as wide as the Sahara Desert, this is not usually something I would think to do. I’m not that daring.

I click on the tab labelled ‘hours and rates’ and I look over the schedule. I’ve never been a lucky person, but something about running into him earlier and then seeing this page feels like my luck just might be changing. They’re having a special event tonight, a masquerade party since Halloween is a few days away. You have to buy a special ticket for the party, but it’s not expensive. No wonder he said he had responsibilities. If I had bought a ticket to a secret sex costume party I’d make sure that I went, too.

Oh wait…I just bought a ticket, too. Oops.

It’s almost four o’clock. I’m out of here in a half an hour which is plenty of time for me to hit up a store for a costume and not be there too early. I have a feeling it’s more awkward than polite to show up for a sex party early. Then you’re by yourself just waiting for other people to show up? No. That sounds like a terrible idea. What should I wear?

The door to the back office opens, and out comes Sandra, my boss, who’s the most laid-back woman I’ve ever met. She’s a hippie through and through in the best way. She looks around the studio, “Do we even have any appointments today?”

I laugh under my breath. “No. And I already cleaned the studio.”

She shrugs, “Oh well. They’ll all be back for Thanksgiving family photos.”

“Won’t that be fun.”

Sandra swats me lightly on the arm, but she’s laughing. “Well, at least we’ll try to make it fun.”

We both know that holiday family photos are the worst. Half the family doesn’t want to be there and it’s hell trying to get them all to smile and have their eyes open at the same time. But I stay here because Sandra pays me well and gives me plenty of time to pursue my own photography goals. She pokes her head over my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

I blush, trying to close the window before she can read, but she starts to laugh loudly. A laugh that I’ve only heard a few other times, filling up the studio. “I knew you hadn’t had any in a while, but I didn’t think that’s the way you’d do it. Good for you.”

“Good?” I’m trying to ignore the burning in my cheeks.

“Of course! You think I’m going to judge you for that? If you knew what went on when I was younger you’d be redder than you are now.”

This isn’t happening. I close the browser window and pretend that I’m buried in a hole where no one can see me. “Spare me those details, please.”

Sandra waggles her eyebrows. “I don’t know, maybe it would give you some ideas.”

A stab of pain goes through me. She’s right. I’m not that interesting a person, not that talented, not that beautiful. It’s one of the reasons I left Aguila. I was exactly what everyone said I was—completely average and on track to stay there and do nothing and be nobody. Just like Catherine said on the phone, I’m probably going to end up alone. But just for tonight, I thought it would be fun to imagine what a man like Hudson would see in me. I didn’t lie to Catherine, I am happier here in the city, and I have ambition. I want to be a successful photographer, and I love that Sandra is helping me with that goal. But she’s not wrong, I’m not a person that would do something crazy like this. Or at least I wasn’t until I spilled coffee on a ridiculously handsome man named Hudson.

“Sandra,” I say, “This is embarrassing.”

“Sweetie, at my age, nothing is embarrassing. Throw me a bone.”

I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. “I…ran into a man this morning,” I say. “He mentioned this club.”

She grins, “And you want to go see him?”

“Yeah...”

“Good for you, girl,” she says. “It’s a costume party?”

I laugh nervously. “Yes. But I think there might be more lingerie than actual costumes.”

“Ooh,” she smirks. “Sounds fun. Maybe I’ll buy a ticket.” The look on my face must be horrified because she starts laughing again. “I’m just kidding, dear. I’m too old for all that. Well, I’m not, but I understand why you wouldn’t want to go to a sex party with your boss.”

“I mean…I’m not going to stop you,” I say nervously.

Sandra rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry. I have no plans to infringe on your sexy time.”

“Oh,” I hold out a hand, “I don’t plan on—I’m not going to—” my breath is shallow in my chest, and the words come out in a whisper, “have sex. I just think it would be fun, intriguing, to see what one of these things is like.” The thought of going to this and actually having sex is overwhelming and embarrassing. Even if Hudson did call me beautiful…

Sandra raises an eyebrow. “So… you’re telling me you bought a ticket to a party you would never normally go to, to see a man you’ve only just met, and you’re not going to fuck him?” Blood flames in my cheeks again and she nods like she’s gotten a confirmation. Oh, God. Next time I need to do my research at home. I love Sandra but this isn’t something I want to talk about with her. “Keep telling yourself that, dear. But when the time comes, I hope you get some.” She glances at her watch. “We’re not going to have any walk-ins at this point. Go get yourself something sexy.”

“You sure?”

“Course I’m sure! But I want details tomorrow.” She laughs as the blush comes back into my face and I hurry out the door before she can embarrass me further. She won’t be getting any details out of me, that’s for sure. Though I’m sure she’ll tease me until I’m blushing brighter than a tomato. I already can’t believe I’m doing this. But here I am, driving to a lingerie store. For something I’m going to wear. In public. What am I getting myself into?