Chapter Twenty-Two
EMERY’S HEART THUNDERED against her ribs so hard it hurt. She pressed her hand to the center of her chest and burst out of the ballroom door, struggling to drag air into her lungs. She didn’t know exactly what type of argument she’d come upon when she’d seen Dean clutching his father’s arm, but hearing Dean profess his love for her in one breath and threaten his father in the next had knocked the wind out of her.
She broke into a jog when she hit the lobby.
“Emery, wait!” Dean caught her by the waist, but she twisted away and continued running toward the exit. “Em, please, slow down.”
“I can’t!” She was shaking all over as she stormed out of the resort. The crisp night air stung her cheeks as she ran down the steps.
Tears blurred her vision, slowing her down enough for Dean to tug her against him so hard she smacked into his chest, and her tears broke free. He was shaking too, his chest expanding against hers with each harsh inhalation.
“Goddamn it, Emery. Stop!” He held her at arm’s length, an immovable force trapping her in place. “I’m done with him. You’ll never have to deal with him again. He’s an arrogant, infuriating ass.”
“And he’s your father,” she cried. “You’ve spent years trying to keep peace within your family because of Jett, and now—” She gasped, trying to regain control of her emotions. “You love me? Oh God, Dean! You love me!” Her heart soared, and just as quickly, it tore right down the middle. “And you threatened your father because of me? I don’t want to be the thing that tears you away from your family! You shouldn’t love me!” Sobs racked her body and she twisted away from him before he could see she didn’t mean it, but his grip was too tight and he yanked her back.
She pushed at his chest, her mind whirring like a hurricane. Don’t let me go, she tried to say, but all that came out was “Don’t—” before another sob stole her voice.
“Don’t what Emery?” he seethed. “Don’t feel what I already feel?”
She turned her face away, slamming her eyes closed to try to stop the flow of tears, but the river continued, her heart crumbling to pieces. He jerked her toward him again, his free hand pressing to her back so firmly she could hardly breathe.
“That’s not going to fucking happen,” he said through gritted teeth. “Do you hear me? You are not the cause of any of this. Don’t you see that? It’s him, Emery.”
“Because he wants to see you with someone like Diana?” She swiped at her tears, inhaling sharply. “I met her! She’s lovely”—sob, sob—“and nice”—gasp—“and totally wrong for you!” She couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “I’m sorry, but of course she bored you to oblivion. She’s…vanilla.”
A soft laugh fell from Dean’s lips.
“Don’t laugh at me!” Why am I yelling? “She’s not right for you, but I liked her, and she’s coming to my yoga class tomorrow morning!”
He framed her face with his rough hands and gazed into her teary eyes. “You’re incredible, do you know that?”
She shook her head, struggling to regain control, then nodded. “I am pretty incredible.”
He laughed, drawing a half laugh, half cry from her.
“My father was in there spouting bullshit about being with a woman who won’t get under my skin, and you meet my ex, and instead of getting jealous, like any other woman would, you make friends with her? I want you under my skin, Emery. I want you to speak your mind, even when it’s not what someone else wants to hear. I want you at any cost.”
Her mind spun, and she was still too upset and confused to speak rationally. “I know that!” she snapped. “I want you, too, and I want you to want me! But your father hates me.”
Fresh tears spilled from her eyes, the sting of the truth too much to bear. She turned away, but he pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head. He smelled familiar and safe, and her fingers curled naturally into the fabric of his sport coat. She didn’t try to push away, because the truth was, the only person she wanted to run to was Dean.
“I’m not letting you go,” he said adamantly. “I love you, and I’m not going to let you sabotage our happiness.”
Oh God. How could something feel so good and hurt so bad at the same time? “I want you to love me,” she managed. “But I can’t be the thing that drives you and your father farther apart. How could I ever live with myself if I made things harder for you? It’ll break my heart every time I think about it.”
“The only thing that would make things hard for me would be if you push me away. Don’t do it, doll,” he warned. “Don’t ruin what we have.”
“I’m trying to save your family so you don’t end up resenting me. That’s what you do when you care about someone, isn’t it? You step back and make yourself miserable so they can be happy?”
He put space between them, still holding her with a death grip, his confused eyes boring into her. “No, Emery. It’s not. When you love someone, you never let them go. You do everything within your power to help them be the best person they can, to achieve their dreams, and to get through nights like tonight. But you don’t run away. You don’t become a martyr. Love isn’t easy, Emery, but we will be worth it.”
“I told you I didn’t know how to do this! I don’t even know what’s right or wrong anymore.” She threw her arms up, tears flooding her eyes. “I’m pretty sure this goddamn pain in my chest is my heart exploding because by being myself…” She closed her eyes as the truth stabbed her again. She was trembling all over, and vaguely aware of other couples watching them as they came and went from the resort. She tried to lower her voice and said, “By being myself, I’ve caused even more trouble between you and your dad.”
He grabbed her wrist, stepping closer, and said, “Stop right there. This has been coming for a long time.”
“This what? This fight?” She crossed her arms. “I knew I’d screw us up!”
He shook his head and gathered her in his arms again. “No,” he said gently. “Putting an end to my father’s wrath.”
He brushed his lips over hers, the slow, intimate touch taking her by surprise.
“And you and I coming together was also long overdue,” he said firmly. “I love you, and I want you back in my house. In our house. Our bed, Em. You know you love me, and you know you want this—us—just as much as I do.”
She buried her face in his shirt, unsure of what she should do or say. She loved him so much she was ready to walk away just to keep from hurting him more. But walking away would hurt them both.
He lifted her chin as he’d done so many times before and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “You deserve me, and I deserve you. Don’t let my father make you think otherwise.”
“I know we deserve each other. I’m pretty great, and you’re beyond amazing. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with coming between you and your father.”
“You didn’t. He did this. Not you.”
He kissed her softly, and though she tried to pull away, he held her tighter, kissed her deeper, soothing and exciting her at once. His grip loosened, and his fingers tangled in her hair. And in that moment, Dean’s warm comfort eased the tension in her chest, and she gave herself over to their kiss. He sighed against her lips, a long, deep breath that filled her lungs, as if he needed to feel her love as much as she needed to feel his.
Their lips parted slowly, and he pressed a series of tender kisses over her mouth, cheeks, and forehead. When his lips brushed over hers again, he whispered, “I love you, Emery, and I’m not going to let you go.”
His father had somehow used her to get to him, and that gutted her, but if she’d ever been certain of anything in her entire life, it was that she didn’t want to lose Dean. She pressed a kiss to his chest and gazed up at the man who had seen the real her and loved her anyway. “I love you too, with my whole heart. And I’m not going to let you go either, but we can’t pretend that whatever took place in there didn’t happen.”
“You love me!” He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes, whispering, “She loves me!”
Laughter bubbled out with more tears. “I do. I love you. I love you so much, and I’m scared shitless that I’m going to fuck up your life.”
“No, doll. The only thing you’re going to fuck is me—up, down, sideways, however you’d like.”
She buried her face in his chest again, happiness and worries battling for dominance. When he lifted her chin and pressed his lips to hers, happiness trampled those worries and she kissed him back.
“I love you,” she whispered. “But before you make a decision about me moving back in, I just realized that I didn’t even get to say goodbye to your mother. She’s going to think I’m a lunatic for running out, and then she’ll hate me, too. You were right. I’m kind of chaotic.”
“You’re my chaos, lover girl, and I wouldn’t want you any other way.” He took her in a sweet, languid kiss. “I have never had second thoughts about us, and I don’t now. Our house needs you in it.”
“Even though—”
Her words were lost on the soft press of his lips.
“Even though,” he whispered.
“Okay, but your mom…?”
“My mother adores you,” he said calmly. “I’ll call her tomorrow and explain. But right now I need to get you away from all of this negativity. It’s not good for your mind.” He kissed her forehead. “Your body,” he said tenderly, and kissed the center of her breastbone. “Or your spirit.” He pressed his lips to the area above her heart, and she felt the shattered pieces of herself working their way back into place.