Gemma

My hands shook as well as my insides as I walked down the aisle with my hand in my husband’s. I looked up once and locked eyes with him and I felt this vibration inside of me. He was cute, I knew that, but in person he was something else altogether. Once he put his hands on me and his lips on me, I was lost. This wasn’t at all what was supposed to happen and I was afraid that I was falling for a man that I didn’t even know, one that married me to get my father’s money in some way.

“Would you like to change before the reception?”

“No, I am fine, thank you. This dress is almost impossible to get out of and it took two people to get me in it a little while ago.”

“I can help you if you need some help.”

I stopped at the idea of it and I shook my head a little too vehemently. I didn’t want him touching me again. There was no way that I could take it, since my nerves were already frayed from the kiss we had shared at the altar. I had learned a lot about the man that I had just married, but nothing that I read could have prepared me for what had come next. Nothing would have been able to describe the way I felt about him when he kissed me or all of the feelings that would well up inside of me with just a little touch. Why hadn’t I know about this?

“No thank you. This will be fine.” I didn’t want to feel that way again, so I couldn’t let him touch me like that. I wasn’t going to be able to handle it another time.

“Suit yourself. I am going to get out of this jacket at least. I haven’t worn a full suit in a long time.”

“Did my father make you wear it?”

“What?”

“He found you and made you marry me, so it just seems right that he dress you as well.”

“Have I done something to you?”

“Nothing at all Keenan, but let’s not pretend that this is a real marriage. You want my father’s money and I didn’t have a choice. So I will smile in front of all of these people and pretend that I didn’t just meet you, but when we are alone like we are now, let’s not pretend this is anything different than it is.”

He was speechless and I was happy with the silence. We were now driving over to the reception and though my body and mind were in conflict, I was sure that I knew one thing. I was not to fall for him. I couldn’t fall for a man that would do such a thing. It wasn’t right and I would never be able to forget the fact that he married me for money, even if he did have enough of his own. Men like him never had enough, always hungry for more.

The more I thought about it, the easier it was to forget about how handsome he was and how attracted I was to him. This was not a marriage that I wanted and now that he understood that, I hoped that things would go a little better.

“It wasn’t like I had much of a choice either Gemma. Your father is very convincing and he knew what it was that I wanted. You were part of the deal.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“About as well as your last statement was supposed to make me feel. You can choose how we get on Gemma, but there is no sense in hating each other. We are going to spend a lot of time together, so we might as well get along. I don’t mind having a real marriage with you. You are beautiful.”

I scoffed at the idea of it. He had a choice, just like I did, but the difference was that I would have been left indigent and he has more money than most of the world.

“Can I just ask you something Keenan?”

His smile was to throw me off guard, but I wasn’t going to let it affect me in that way.

“Shoot.”

“Why would you do this with everything you already have?”

“Your father can give me the legitimacy that no amount of money can buy.”

Sighing to myself, I looked out the car window and wondered how I got here. This was not at all what I had saw happening in my head when I thought of marriage. Never did I think that I would feel such a disconnect with the man that was beside me. We were so different that I didn’t think that we could ever see eye to eye. I don’t know if I wanted to see the world through his eyes when billions of dollars wasn’t enough.

“Well that is that then.”

He asked me a few more questions about what I liked to do. I answered as little as possible because I didn’t really want to talk to him. He was right about us getting along for the sake of sanity, but I wasn’t ready to give in just yet. I felt like I at least had a little bit of time to sulk. This was my wedding day and I should be able to do what I wanted. Soon enough I was going to have to step out of the car and plaster a smile on my face. I needed a moment to really wallow in the fact that I was next to a stranger that I had just declared my everlasting love for. It was a mess and it was a mess that I didn’t want to be in the middle of.

“You are really quiet. We will be there in a few minutes. Is there anything that I need to know about you before we go meet your friends and family?”

I shrugged. It didn’t really matter. The ones that would know already knew that this was all a sham and the rest didn’t really matter all that much to me. I never had been too worried about what I looked like to everyone else, especially those in the society that I never associated with.

“Not really. They are all going to ask questions, just say whatever you want. This is yours and my dad’s show anyways.”

If there was a way, I would have just gotten out of all of it right now. Where was it written in stone that I had to go to the reception?

When the car stopped, I looked to Keenan and proposed we just get out of here. “Come on, we can tell people that we were just so in lust that we had to leave early.”

“So in lust?” Keenan looked at me strange.

“You know, so in hot for each other and everything.”

“That wouldn’t be a lie. I have been hot for you and so in lust since I met you down the aisle. You are beautiful Gemma, you really are.”

“Why do you keep saying that like you are so surprised?”

“I wasn’t expecting you to look like this.”

I still didn’t really understand him, but I had a feeling there was much that I never would or understand about Keenan. I didn’t get men like him and his attention on my body was a hard one to process. I had to get my mind back in it and focus on what we were talking about.

“Well I knew what you were going to look like and you are cute, but you aren’t my type. This isn’t a real marriage and there won’t be any extracurricular activities in this marriage. I am saving myself for real love, not this forced situation with you. We can get along, but you keep your hands to yourself.”

“Saving yourself?”

I opened the door and got out before we could delve any deeper into the subject. This was just a few moments that I had to get through and then I would be away from my father’s rule and I would be able to do what I wanted. This didn’t have to be so bad. Keenan knew where we stood and I felt better with that all being so black and white, there was no room for error when we both knew where the other was coming from.

“Can I ask you something Gemma?”

His hand stopped me with a slight grip on my arm. “What?”

“Why did you do this?”

I pulled my arm away and sighed. “I was going to be left destitute if I didn’t. I really didn’t have a choice Keenan. This is nothing like a real marriage.”

I turned around and started walking into the reception alone. I thought to wait for him at the door, but it was only until he was just behind me. I just wanted to get this over with and get home where I wouldn’t have to worry about what others seen when they saw us together.

About to enter and start the whole charade, I felt Keenan’s hand slide into mine and he smiled over at me. “For the guests.’

I nodded my head like I understood. It was just like the kiss from earlier, but it didn’t feel like it was just for show. That kiss almost buckled my knees. I didn’t think that I would be able to stay so close to him for too long. Just being in this close of proximity to him was a problem.

The sea of people from the church was now here and now everyone wanted to talk to us. I didn’t know what to say and my cousin was giving me this look like she knew more than she was telling. I didn’t want anyone to know, so I avoided her and the part of the family that liked to ask too many questions. I didn’t have any answers for them and even though Keenan was a smooth talker, I didn’t want to take any chances.

By the end of the evening, I was light headed from all of the wine and I wanted to go home. I almost left without my husband, but I was reminded twice that I was supposed to be leaving with him. Just because this was our wedding night, who was to say that we had to leave together?

“Where are you going Gemma?”

“I am going home once I find a car.”

He took my hand and told me that I wasn’t driving anywhere. I assured him that I wasn’t that drunk, I really wasn’t. But Keenan didn’t believe me and took it upon himself to take me home. Halfway home I realized that we were going to the wrong place.

“I want to go home Keenan.”

“This is your home. Your home is with me now. You didn’t think that you were going to be staying at your parent’s house, did you?”

I didn’t answer, but I had thought just that. Why would I think that we would live together? This was all just a charade anyways.

“I was under the impression that I would get more freedom finally. I don’t want to live with you. I don’t even know you.”

“Well I guess it will be a good way to get to know each other.”

He had an answer for everything and I was not in the mood to argue. It was just for the night. It wasn’t like this couldn’t all be changed in the morning. I was tired and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep. It really didn’t matter that much to me where it was that I did it.

“Fine. I will figure something out tomorrow, but don’t think that I am sharing a bed with you.”

I was snappy and I hated to hear that tone, even from my own lips. I was out of my element and I wanted to get back to where I knew what was going on. Keenan left me anxious of what tomorrow was going to bring. He was the unexpected that had come into my life and I was now trying to get used to it.

“I wouldn’t dream of it Gemma. I know that you are saving yourself for someone that isn’t me. You have made yourself clear.”

There was a hint of aggravation or something like that in his tone, but there was nothing that I was going to say to change anything. “As long as we understand each other Keenan.”