* * *

WILLOW

The next day passes much like the last, but I'm conscious now, more than ever, that time is slipping away. The autumn weather - brisk and crisp with  the high wind - has turned bitterly cold. I open my window and wrap myself in a blanket to stay near it, but it's not comfortable. The day passes endlessly slow, and I can't help but think about every hour that slips away. Every minute.

Ruari does not come by.

It isn't until I climb into my bed again and adjust my double-blindfolds that I wonder if he's coming to see me at all. Has he given up on me?

Did he think that when I asked him to leave, I meant forever?

Did he think I'd given up entirely? 

He'd ruined the moment, but I've not given up on him. I still want to break this curse. I still want him.

I rack my brain, trying to think of any hidden messages in Leta's instructions. Is there something I missed? But her instructions were simple, and if I follow them, at the end of the three days, the curse will be broken. 

Don't look upon anything that's part of his curse.

Don't tell him why.

Don't let him spill his seed inside me.

The last part still makes me blush, of course. Not that we'll ever get to him making love to me. This isn't going as I'd hoped, especially not if he continues to leave me alone over and over again. He's offended by my blindfold, but I can't remove it. And because I'm blindfolded, I can't go after him.

What to do?

"Ruari?" I call out. There's no answer, not even when I touch myself and call his name a few more times. He's not here. Frustrated, I slip on my night-dress and fumble for a pair of shoes. 

If he's abandons me, I worry it'll affect the curse. I worry we need to spend this night together. Somehow I don't think Leta pictured us spending so much time apart when she advised me, but what can I do? I'm only one person and dozens - maybe hundreds - have failed before me. Maybe this is doomed after all.

But if it is, then why not enjoy one last night in the world? Why spend it alone and lonely? Unloved?

That decides me. If Leta's wrong - or if I fail - then I might as well go out in the arms of another, experiencing all that I can of love before fate catches up with me. I slide off the edge of the bed and put my hands out, feeling for the wall. I encounter it, and continue to feel my way along until I find the door. I open it and step through, keeping the thick stone against one hand as I do. I find a few more doors as I go, but as I open each one and call out Ruari's name, there's no response. I continue on, determined to find him.

I...hope it's a small castle.

As I continue down the hall, I lose my footing. I step forward and the floor just isn't there. Too late, I realize I've found stairs and pitch forward--

Only to be caught by a pair of strong arms. I give a little cry of surprise and cling to Ruari's shoulders. "You caught me!"

"What are you doing, wandering around blind?" His voice is a furious growl, and the hands that hold me are tight. He gives me a little shake as if he wants to rattle my head, but doesn't put me down. "I'm taking you back to your rooms."

"What? No!" I cling to his neck, as if that will solve everything. "I came looking for you!"

He snarls. "Why?" 

"Because you didn't come to see me," I say softly. "If this is our last night together, why are we going to spend it apart?"

Ruari hesitates. "You told me to leave you alone."

"I was frightened last night. You broke my trust and I couldn't expect you to not pull off my blindfold. It's very important to me that it stays on until the morning." I press my nose against his throat. He smells warm and slightly sweaty, but human. I love the smell of him, I decide. Sometimes I think the 'beast' thing is all in his head, but if it wasn't for touching him, I'd think he was a beast. He sounds like one when he walks, and when he talks. It's all very confusing.

"Until the morning," he repeats slowly. "But in the morning..."

"I know," I say softly. I might be another one of the doomed roses in the morning. "But if this is to be my last night, I'd like to spend it with you. But...I can't if you try to remove my blindfold again. Can you promise me that you won't try to pull it off?"

"It means that much to you?"

I wish I could tell him how important it is. "It does. It has to stay on." I reach out with one hand to find his face, and cup his cheek. "But that doesn't mean that anything else has to stay on." I'm being so bold, but what have I got to lose at this point? 

He groans and presses his face against my shoulder, hugging me against him. "I wish I could kiss you, Willow."

"You can't?" I reach up and try to touch his mouth, but he pushes my hand away.

"Don't." He grips my fingers in his. "It's the worst part of the curse. I...I don't want you to see me like that."

He means with my hands. Oh. I nod, understanding what it's like to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to another. "I won't touch your face and you won't touch my mask. Is anything else off limits?"

"No." His voice sounds raspy, and it makes me excited to imagine his breath quickening like mine is.

"Then...can we spend tonight together?" I take his hand and pull it to my breast. "I'd like the company."

In response, he picks me up again in his arms. Ruari walks fast, his claws clicking on the stone floors. 

"Where are you taking me?" I ask, caressing his arm. I want to touch him all over, to explore him like I've been dying to do. I hope he's not abandoning me.

"To my bed," he growls out. "You're not leaving it until I'm done with you."

Oh, I like that thought. I like that thought very much. I lie quietly in his arms as he carries me through the castle, and it doesn't seem like we've gone very far before he opens a door and pushes us through it. I'm curious as to what his room is like, and when he sets me down gently on the edge of a bed, I reach out and touch the bed to explore it. Curiously, the blankets are messed up and the bed feels very much like the one I just left. "Is...is this my bed? Did you take me back to my room?"

A horrible thought occurs to me. Did he just change his mind? So quickly?

"Not your bed," Ruari says in a gruff voice. "You've always been in mine."

I blush at the thought. "Have I truly? Do you...do you move all the women that come here into your room?" I suddenly find myself wondering if he's been in love with any of the others. Does he still mourn their loss?

"You are the first to be in my bed. In fact, you are the first that has ever touched me." He strokes my cheek and I lean into the caress automatically. "You are the first of many, many things." 

And the last, I find myself hoping. "That makes me happy."

"And me? Do I make you happy?"

I reach out and run a hand down his chest. He feels broad and muscular, with just a hint of chest hair that crisps under my fingers. There's nothing beastly about him in the slightest. Not as far as I can tell. "You do...until you leave me alone all day. It's very quiet and lonely without you here, you know."

"It's very quiet and lonely here always," he says, voice sad. "The days that someone arrives are the worst."

"Because you know they're going to leave?" I ache for him.

"Because I know they will be horrified and repulsed by what I am. I know that I am destroying their lives with my curse, and I can do nothing to help them."

Ruari's response makes me feel so very sad. How lonely he must feel. "And then they disappear again after three days, adding to your guilt."

He touches my cheek. "I would prefer that no one come at all, just so I can spare their lives. But if they do not, the curse is never-ending. And in the end, I am given no choice."

His touch is gentle and pleasant, and I lean into it, caressing his hand as he cups my face. "And have you ever fallen in love with one of them?"

"Never. None have looked at me with anything but sheer disgust. It is hard to love when you are repulsed." His other hand goes to my hair, touches my dark locks. "Is that why you are so determined to wear your blindfold, Willow? So you cannot look at me and be disgusted?"

"That's not it." Somehow I think if I saw his face, I wouldn't be disgusted anyhow. I'd only be saddened by the fact that he's been so cruelly cursed. "I'm honoring a promise to another, nothing more."

"It must be a very important promise."

I nod, not trusting myself not to spill the details. I can't talk about this. "Thank you for understanding."

"Oh, I do not understand." His chuckle is harsh. "But I am greedy. I want to touch you more than anything." His fingers stroke down my arm. "And I want to spend this last night knowing what it is like to feel pleasure. I am a greedy beast."

"Don't call yourself that," I admonish him. I put a hand to his waist and find that he's wearing pants of some kind, though the fabric feels worn and old. "You're just Ruari to me. Never a beast."

"If you could see what you were touching..."

"I would still see Ruari," I whisper to him. My fingers find the laces of his pants and I tug at them, loosening things until the fabric falls away. There's nothing but smooth skin and I reach lower, looking to continue where I left off last night. I can't wait to explore him all over, to see what happens when I touch him like he touched me. The thought's exciting and I'm practically squirming with eagerness. "Can I touch you as I please? Or are you still nervous that I'll be repulsed?"

"You...can touch me." He strokes my cheek again. "I am yours."

His words fill me with yearning and excitement both. I decide I'm going to take my time. Since I cannot see, I must rely on my fingers to 'describe' Ruari to my hungry senses. I start with his hair, thick and wavy under my fingers. It's tousled and overlong, as if he hasn't taken care of himself since becoming cursed. I slide my hands down to his ears, touching them briefly before moving on to his face. I trace his features, trying to picture them. His brows are thick and heavy, and his lashes are so long that they brush against my skin when I trace around his eyes. His nose is strong with the slightest bump to it. His cheekbones feel high, and his jaw is square. I don't go near his mouth, since he doesn't like that, but I imagine I'd want to kiss it even if it was a thin, firm line. He's mine, this sad, lonely man. I want to kiss him everywhere to show that.

But I don't. I just lick my lips and continue exploring. I move down to his shoulders, and they feel big and broad under my touch. I squeeze his biceps and then let my touch wander over his chest. He's firm everywhere here, not a hint of fat over lean muscle, and I can't help the sigh that escapes me at being able to touch him.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he demands in a low voice.

"Just that you're such a pleasure to touch," I tell him. "I could do this all day and all night. It makes me sad that you stayed away from me all day, because I could do this for hours." I give him a small smile. "You've robbed us both of pleasure."

"I'll make it up to you," he vows, and his hand goes to my hair. He trails his fingers through it, and when he inhales deeply, I suspect he's sniffing it. "I'll make everything up to you, Willow. Tonight will be the best night you've ever had. I'll give you so much pleasure you'll beg me to stop."

I press my thighs together at the thought, because I'm getting aroused just by touching him, and I haven't even hit the good parts yet. "And what if I tell you to never stop?"

"Then I shall keep going endlessly," he murmurs. "Until the end of time."

His words make my breath catch. I wish I could kiss him, but I know I can't. Instead, I lean forward until my forehead meets his chest, and I wrap my arms around him in a hug. I don't care if this might be our last night together. It's going to be magical. I'm going to live more in the next few hours than I ever have. I'm going to take in everything.

My hands slide down his back and I caress his buttocks. They're hard and firm, a pair of spectacular tight globes that make me feel all restless and hungry at the thought of my hands moving over them.  I don't care if he thinks he's a beast - he's the most perfect thing in the world to touch. "You're magnificent," I tell him. "Touching you is almost as enjoyable as touching myself."

"Almost?" he replies, a wry note in his voice.

"Almost," I tease back. "But I haven't gotten to the good parts yet." I slide my hands forward, dragging over his hips until I move to the front of him. I let my fingers glide over his skin until I find what I'm looking for - short, wiry curls that let me know that I've found his cock. I touch them gently, and then begin to explore his length with little, light touches of my fingers.  He's thick at the base, his skin as smooth as I remember from last night, and the length of him seems to be endless. Perhaps as long as my forearm, but it's hard to tell without seeing him to compare. He's thick, so big that I can't encircle him and have my fingertips touch. Most fascinating is the feel of him, though. He's like soft skin over heated steel. It's fascinating and I could touch him for hours on end. I trace my fingertips up to the thick head of his cock and discover more wetness there. "What would happen if I put my mouth on you?"

The groan he gives me is soft, broken with need. "You would push me to the edge of my limit."

"Would I?" the thought's an intriguing one. "So...you don't want me to do it?"

He gives another groan. "I...would not stop you."

Oooh. That tells me he wants me to do it as badly as I want to touch him. I slide off the edge of the bed, holding onto his hips as I move to my knees on the floor. His cock pushes against my face and I draw back, putting a hand on him so I can guide him to my mouth. I feel a tremor rack through him and it makes me shiver with my own need. To have such power over someone with such a small touch. It's thrilling.

I guide him to my mouth and lick the head of him. I taste salty droplets, and the musky scent of his skin. It's exciting and I catch myself moaning as I explore him with my lips.

His hand steals to my hair and I freeze momentarily, thinking he's going to reach for my blindfold. But he only grips a handful of my hair, anchoring me in his grip. "You have such a sweet mouth, Willow."

I squirm at his compliment, aroused at the mental image of his cock resting against my tongue. I flick him with my tongue and then drag it up and down his length, trying to discover which touches he likes the best, which ones make the hand in my hair tighten, which ones make him groan with need. When the breath hisses out from his throat, I can't help myself; I slide a hand under my nightgown and between my thighs, touching myself even as I run my tongue over him.

Ruari groans. "Are you stroking yourself as you pleasure me, my Willow?"

I don't respond - instead, I take him deeper into my mouth, sucking on his hard length. I'm lost to the taste of him, the feel of his hard, erect length spearing my throat, the hand in my hair. I'm not surprised to find that my pussy's slippery wet, and that rubbing my clit just makes me squirm harder. I'm so turned on right now that I could come, just from this. Ruari's hand tightens in my hair and I whimper with desire.

"Too close," he growls out. A moment later, he steps away and the hand is gone from my curls, his cock gone from my mouth. I make a sound of protest - I want more. "To your feet," he commands me.

I shiver at the firm, authoritative note in his voice and do as he commands. I rise to my feet, standing, and reach out for him. But his hands go to the neck of my nightgown, and then he undoes the ties there, sliding the material off my body until it pools at my feet.

"Look at how lovely you are," he murmurs. His big hand cups me between my thighs and his fingers stroke my clit. I cry out sharply, nearly falling backward with how good that feels.

But then he's pushing me back against the bed, spreading my thighs apart, and I do as he commands. I feel a sweep of his hair against my legs, and then his hand is on my inner thigh. It's the only warning I get before his mouth is on my pussy, his tongue slicking through my wet folds. I cry out again, my hands going to his hair as he makes a hungry sound, licking me hard before focusing on my clit.

"I'm...oh gods, I'm going to come, Ruari. It's too much!" I arch against him, unable to stop whimpering. I can't see what he's doing, but his mouth on my sensitive skin is an onslaught of pleasure, and I'm so sensitive that it's going to make me shatter within moments.

He doesn't lift his head, though. He only growls low - and I feel it all through my body - and continues to lap at my clit. Something hard pushes at my core and then he sinks a finger inside me.

My body feels like it snaps. My muscles lock and I give a sharp little cry as I reach my peak, intense pleasure washing through me. I can feel the wetness of my release on my thighs, and still Ruari doesn't lift his mouth. He licks me over and over, until I'm coming hard and fast a second time, and stars burst behind my eyes as satisfaction washes over me once more.

When he finally lifts his head, I let out a low moan. He pauses, his hand sliding out from between my thighs. "Willow...there's blood here. You're a virgin?"

I nod. "Is that...bad?"

He falls over me, his weight heavy and pleasing all at once. I feel him press his mouth to my neck, and his hands are tight on my body as he holds me close. "I am humbled you would give such a gift to me."

"I'd give everything to you, Ruari."

"Everything but your sight?"

I sigh softly. "Everything but that, yes."

He presses a kiss to my throat again. "Then I shall take what I can get."

I put my arms around him as he shifts his weight over me, adjusting. He's big and heavy, but I like the feel of him. When he touches my leg and places it against his hip, I take the hint and spread my legs wide for him. Immediately, he rests his cock against my pussy, and I suck in a breath at the sensation. 

"Are you...are you sure you wish to go forward?"

I nod at him. "I want you."

Something hard shifts against the entrance to my core. I wriggle a little, the sensation an odd one. A moment later, the hard length pushes into me, and I suck in a breath. It's...not quite as lovely as I'd expected. He feels far too big, far too tight a fit, and I try to hold still, biting my lip so I don't cry out at the uncomfortable sensation. 

"You're so tight, Willow," he breathes over me, his face so close to mine. Again, the urge to kiss him moves over me and I wish I could. But I won't betray his trust. I touch his face, loving the intimacy of the act even if it hurts.

"Does it feel good?" I ask him.

"Better than anything." He presses his face into my neck again and then I feel his hips move. He thrusts hard into me, and I inhale sharply. That...that wasn't all pain. He moves again, and the discomfort eases, bringing with it a strange sort of pleasure as he begins a slow, steady rhythm inside me. Oh. I wasn't expecting this. And as his movements grow faster, his thrusts harder, I'm surprised when I begin to feel the prickle of need once more, this time deep in my belly.

He shifts his hips and pushes into me again and I gasp, because this time, it feels vastly different. It's like he's pushing against something new inside my body, and it makes my legs jerk in response. The delicious feeling is growing deeper, and my nails dig into his skin. "Ruari," I whisper, the urgent feeling rising. "I...I think..."

"I know," he growls against me. "Can feel you...your cunt's so tight around me..." He rocks into me again, hard, and I gasp once more. "Need you to come again for me, Willow. Won't come without you."

"Keep moving," I tell him, lifting my hips restlessly against his when he surges into me again. "Oh my gods, yes, again!" 

As if frenzied, he snarls and pumps into me with relentless ferocity. His hand grips my hip, anchoring my body against him and there's nothing but endless pleasure as I push up to meet his every thrust. I'm lost to the sensations, lost to everything but the feel of Ruari on me, Ruari in me. Ruari panting my name between slaps of our bodies. 

Ruari. My Ruari.

Then it happens - this time, the orgasm seems to come from somewhere deep inside my body, and I give a little sob as everything in me clenches tight with my release. I can't breathe it's so intense, and Ruari's growl of fierce pleasure just makes it that much more delicious. His thrusts take on a wildness, and then before I know it, he's shouting my name and collapsing on top of me.

I lay underneath him, stunned by what just happened. I'm so, so wet between my thighs.

I've let him come inside me. I've completely forgotten Leta's warning. I bite my lip, worried. She said it wouldn't affect the curse, though, so I decide to say nothing. The damage is done. I hold tight to my Ruari and snuggle close to his sweaty body, utterly content.