CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“I HAVEN’T SLEPT with Anthony.” They were back in the hotel suite, safely enclosed together, and Dawn turned to face Tucker. “We went out a few times,” she continued, making sure to keep her voice low and steady. “But that was it. I’m very, very careful with my lovers, and I knew that Anthony and I would be working together. I don’t like to mix my professional life and my business life.”
His gaze seemed to burn as he stared at her.
“Anthony wanted more. I didn’t. Simple.”
He gave a grim nod.
“I want to fall in love.”
She saw his shoulders give a little jerk. Determined, Dawn continued, “I want to trust someone completely. I want to share my life. I want to have a normal relationship, but normal hasn’t exactly been in the cards for me.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Believe it or not, I wanted all of that for you. I know I’m a fucking jealous bastard where you’re concerned, but I wanted you to be happy. I kept thinking I’d hear of you marrying. Having a family. I knew it would rip my guts open, but I wanted that for you.”
He didn’t understand... Her problem was that everything she wanted was twisted up in him. “I want to know your darkest secret.”
His gaze became hooded.
“You and I are the only ones here. Whatever you tell me won’t leave this room, but I want to know.”
His hand reached out to her and his fingers skimmed over her cheek.
“I can touch you,” he rasped, “without you flinching away. Do you know how long I wanted that one thing?”
Her hand rose and her fingers caught his. “You don’t trust me.” She felt him stiffen. “You think I’ll turn away from you again. I get it. But I’m not the same girl I was then. I fought and clawed my way to the life I have now. I’m stronger.”
“You’ve always been strong.” His body came closer to her. His chest brushed against hers.
“Then tell me. No more secrets...not from you, not from me. I need this, Tucker. I need to know that you’re the one person who shares everything with me.” Because she wanted to share everything with him.
“I...don’t want to lose you again.”
His words had her heart squeezing in her chest.
“Not that I have you.” His smile was bittersweet. “One night. That was what we had. We had—”
“We can have anything.” She rose onto her toes, knowing that she had to be the one to take the first step. She had to show him that she could trust completely.
If she could do it, then so could he.
“Anything.” Dawn’s lips brushed over his.
And they were lost. Both of them. She felt the shudder that worked its way down his body. His lips parted beneath hers and his tongue thrust into her mouth. That wild desire—the fierce passion that would always connect them—surged to the surface. She tasted his need, the desperation, the lust.
And she wanted more.
Her hands shoved between them as she yanked at the buttons of his shirt. He’d removed his holster when they’d first entered the suite, so that wasn’t in her way. She thought she heard a button pop. But Dawn didn’t slow down.
She’d been going slowly for years. Playing things safe. She didn’t have to play with Tucker. She didn’t want to play at all.
She just wanted him.
Her hands touched his chest. That hot skin. She could feel his muscles and the power beneath her touch. Her fingers slid over his stomach, those incredible abs, and then she was fumbling with the button on his pants.
He pulled his mouth from hers. “Dawn.”
Such hunger in that word. Raw need. She loved it.
“Baby, I want to be careful with you...”
No. She gave a shake of her head. “Enough of that.” She slid away from him and hurried toward the light switch on the wall. She hit it, plunging them into darkness, and then she was yanking at her shirt because—
“No.” He caught her in the dark. Pulled her close. “I told you before, there’s no more hiding.” And he backed her up against the wall. He pinned her between that wall and his body. His head lowered and she felt the stir of his breath against her neck. “There will never be any more hiding for either of us.” His mouth pressed to her skin. He licked her. He sucked her. He had her moaning.
And he turned the lights back on.
She blinked against that sudden brightness and fear trickled through her. “Tucker...”
His head lifted. He stared into her eyes. “No hiding.”
Her breath panted out.
“Do you want me?”
His eyes were a brilliant blue, his face etched into tight, hard lines. His body pushed against hers, and there was no missing the hard length of his arousal.
She stared into his blues eyes, she gazed at his handsome face, and she saw Tucker.
Tucker. Tucker’s desire. Tucker’s strength.
“Yes.”
“Fucking, yes.” He kissed her again. A kiss that was a little wilder. A little rougher. Even hotter. His hand pushed between their bodies. He yanked open the snap of her jeans and jerked down the zipper. She barely heard the faint hiss of sound. Then his fingers were shoving the jeans down her legs and she kicked out of them and her shoes.
His hand slid under her underwear, coming up to stroke her, to thrust into her, and she shot onto her toes as her body tensed.
“Dawn?”
Her eyes stayed open and on his. “More.”
He smiled at her. His dimple flashed.
She still only saw Tucker. The desire she felt for him was reflected in his eyes.
“I’ll give you everything.” His hand pulled back, and he thrust two fingers into her again. His thumb raked over her clit, drawing a ragged moan from her.
Desire shouldn’t build so fast. Need shouldn’t explode with a touch. But it did.
And she found she wasn’t afraid. She was grateful. The passion she felt for him could make her forget everything else in the world. The killer. The death. The pain. For a few precious moments, all of that faded away.
Her panties ripped as he yanked them down. She didn’t care. Her nails were raking over his chest. Her breasts were tight, her nipples aching, and she wanted his mouth on her.
She wanted—
Yes. He’d taken one nipple into his mouth. He was licking and sucking and her hips were riding his hand. She could feel her orgasm building. Her body was tensing and she struggled to catch her breath. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.
His thumb pressed over her clit again, dragging a moan from her, but then he pulled back his hand.
“Right here,” he growled. “Right here.”
They were to the side of the window. No one would be able to see them.
He let her go just long enough to put on a condom, then he was back. He lifted her up, holding her so easily, then he drove into her. He filled her completely. Time seemed to freeze. She was staring into his eyes and Dawn couldn’t look away. Her legs curled around his hips, he held her tightly with his fingers around her waist.
He withdrew, only to plunge deep again, sliding his cock right over her sensitive clit. Her breath came faster.
Withdraw.
Thrust.
The tension mounted inside of her.
He kissed her.
Withdraw.
Thrust.
Her nails clawed at him. She wanted faster. Harder.
He gave it to her. His hips drove against her as he plunged, as his control seemed to break away. He gave her everything that she needed and the pleasure hit her with a fury. It crashed over her and made her whole body tremble. Her mouth left his as she cried out his name.
He kept thrusting. The pleasure rolled through her, and then he was there. She felt his climax as it hit him. His muscles tightened. His grip turned almost bruising.
“Dawn.” His gaze was bright with primitive pleasure. Lust. Release.
Possession.
* * *
BOWEN PARKED IN front of the apartment building in downtown Baton Rouge. Lights were on, gleaming from the second floor, and his intel told him that floor was home to the woman he needed to interview.
Catherine Peters, Heather Hartley’s former college roommate. He’d been chasing leads for most of the evening and turning up jackshit. Hopefully, his night would be better. Because Catherine was the last name on his list, and if she didn’t reveal any information for him...
Baton Rouge is a bust.
He walked toward the building and headed inside. He took the stairs quickly, frowning at the lack of security in the place. He always noticed things like that—side effect of the job. Most people walked around, thinking they were safe. Thinking that a flimsy lock on the door would keep monsters out.
They were wrong.
In moments, he was standing before Catherine’s door. He lifted his hand and knocked. He could hear the pad of footsteps from inside, the creak of a floor...but the door didn’t open.
He stared straight into the peephole. “My name is FBI Special Agent Bowen Murphy.” He lifted his ID and badge, making sure both would be visible for the person on the other side of that peephole. “I need to speak with Catherine Peters.”
The door opened, just a few inches, and a woman with short, reddish-blond hair peered at him. “FBI? Let me see that badge.”
He gave her the ID. She studied it in silence a moment, then handed it back to him.
“Why does the FBI want to talk to me?”
He glanced around the hallway. No one else was out there. Bowen focused on Catherine once more. “I need to ask you a few questions about your former LSU roommate, Heather Hartley.”
She blinked. Her eyes were a dark brown, and a faint spatter of freckles dotted her nose. “Heather? I haven’t heard from Heather in ages, not since she left town to meet up with her boyfriend.” She nibbled her lower lip. “Is...is everything all right with her? I mean, she and her boyfriend are okay, aren’t they?”
Boyfriend. “Do you mind if I come inside?” he asked her. “Because we need to talk.”
* * *
THEY WERE SHOWERING TOGETHER. The water beat down on Dawn as she stood beneath the spray. The lights were on in the bathroom. Tucker’s hands were sliding along her back. He was seeing all of her.
No hiding, not anymore.
She turned toward him and his fingers feathered over her left shoulder, lightly caressing the three rose tattoos that were there. Tattoos that would forever remind her of the friend she’d lost. As if she needed any reminder.
But it wasn’t her scars that she focused on right then. It was his. The small white scars that she’d seen before on his chest. His arms. His back.
She leaned forward and pressed soft kisses to his scars, those closest to her.
“Dawn.” His hold on her shoulder tightened. “You don’t have to—”
She kissed another small scar. It wasn’t about what she had to do. It was about what she wanted to do. And she wanted to do everything, with him.
The water kept pouring onto them. “How old were you?” she asked.
Because those marks looked so very old.
“Five...the first time. It was right after my mom was buried.”
Her heart ached for him.
“Fifteen...the last time.”
Such a long, long time to suffer abuse. What did that long-term abuse do to a person?
Did it make Jason into a monster?
She looked up at Tucker’s face.
What did it make you into, Tucker? What did it do to you?
His face seemed to harden as he stared at her, as if he could see the questions in her mind. Jaw locking, he reached out and turned off the flow of water with a hard jerk of his hand.
The water dripped down Dawn’s body, sliding over her skin. Goose bumps rose on her arms as she stared at him.
“There won’t be any going back.” His voice was low and deep.
“Back is the last place I want to go.” She turned from him and slipped from the shower. Dawn grabbed one of the towels and dried off quickly, but...she didn’t cover herself when she was done. She let the towel drop to the floor. She was nervous, her knees nearly shaking, but she stood there before him. Not hiding. She wasn’t going to hide.
She could do this.
He climbed from the shower, too, but his movements were slower. With his gaze on her, he toweled off. That hot, bright stare moved over every inch of her, and she felt it like a touch on her skin.
They’d had sex—hot, powerful sex. She shouldn’t want him again.
She did.
More, she wanted to do so many things to him. Dawn wanted to knock down the last of the walls that held her back. She turned and went into her room, knowing he’d follow. When she entered that bedroom, her hand went instinctively to the light switch, but she caught herself.
Not now. Won’t do it again.
She stood by the side of the bed.
He came up behind her. His hands curled around her waist and he pulled her back against his body. His mouth went to her neck, right on that sweet spot where her neck curved into her shoulder, where she was so sensitive that the touch of his lips had her nipples tightening.
One hand slid between her legs. Right between her folds. Then his fingers were pushing into her and her head tipped back against his shoulder. She knew she could come, just like that, with his fingers in her, with him behind her.
But she wanted something else. “Tucker...” She swallowed because her voice was so husky. “Get...get on the bed.”
His fingers thrust into her once more, then his hand slid back, making a moan come from her lips.
He let her go. Her breath was coming too fast as she watched him slide onto the bed. His cock thrust toward her, full and swollen, bigger than her wrist. He lay down on that bed, put his hands behind his head, and his stare came back to her.
Not just hot now. Scorching.
“What do you need from me?” His voice was low, rough, and she knew he understood.
There were other lines she had to cross.
It’s what I need from myself. Dawn eased onto the bed. She straddled his hips, staring down at him.
“Who do you see?” His hands were still behind his head. A deliberate move, she knew, one designed to make her feel safer. That was what Tucker always did. He tried to make her feel safe.
“I see you.” She bent and pressed more kisses to those scars. So many of them. Scars that had changed a boy.
Changed a man.
She followed that trail down his chest. He’d tensed beneath her.
“Baby, be careful... When your mouth is on me, my control doesn’t last.”
She didn’t need it to last. That was another of her tests—not for him, but for herself. To see what she did when he really let go.
Her hands curled around his cock and it jerked against her fingers. Her breath sighed out as she bent toward him, moving her body so that her mouth came close to the head of his arousal.
“Dawn.” If possible, his voice was even darker. “Baby...”
She licked him. Licked him, kissed him, took that length into her mouth and thought only of him. She thought of the pleasure they gave each other. Of the way her body ignited for his. Of the way he made her feel, the way—
He’d moved in a flash. He was above her, pinning her beneath him to the mattress. His cock was at the entrance to her body, his eyes glittered. Savage desire. His touch wasn’t careful. He wasn’t careful.
“Need fucking in you.”
“And I need you.” His bare cock pushed at the entrance to her body. His control was disintegrating, and she still wasn’t afraid. His face was savage in his need, and she still saw only him. “I’m on the pill. I’m clean. I. Want. You.”
His pupils stretched, filling his gaze. “Clean, too. Fuck—”
And he drove into her, a rough, deep thrust that lifted her off the bed. There was no holding back then, not for either of them. Her nails clawed down his back. She didn’t even think about the stitches in his arm. His hands bit into her skin.
His cock drove in and out of her. She slammed up to meet him, fighting for the release.
No fear.
He kissed a hot path down her neck.
She started to scream when she came, but Dawn locked her lips together, fighting to hold back the sound. Fighting to make the pleasure last and last.
He erupted inside of her, and his release just made her climax stronger. Her head tipped back. He held her tight.
And she wasn’t afraid.
She wouldn’t be afraid. Not of him. Not ever again.
* * *
“HEATHER’S DEAD?” CATHERINE shook her head. “I... Are you sure?”
“I’m afraid that I am.” He always hated telling the news to friends and family. He was better at working the killers, not dealing with the victims. Their pain was too stark, too heavy to carry.
Catherine seemed to collapse into her chair. Silent tears trickled down her cheeks. “I am such a bitch.”
Bowen frowned at her.
“I didn’t even call her...didn’t call to check on her. She left, and I just... I kept right on going with my life.” She started to rock back and forth in her seat, a move that he didn’t even think she was aware of making. He’d seen it before, an unconscious, comforting rock that victims made. “She was my roommate for a year, and I didn’t even think about checking on her after she left. God.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “I thought she was happy! I mean...she was always talking about her guy, how strong and smart he was and...” Her words just trailed away.
“I’d like the name of her boyfriend, Ms. Peters.”
Her eyes opened. “Aren’t you guys supposed to keep people safe?”
“We try, ma’am. We try very hard.” Sometimes, we just don’t succeed. It was the failures that haunted him.
“Then how did this happen?” Another tear leaked down her cheek. “Why didn’t he keep her safe?”
“I’m not sure that I follow...”
“Her boyfriend! He was freaking FBI! She rushed down to New Orleans to meet him after he finished up a big case in Alabama.”
Bowen stiffened.
“Why didn’t he keep her safe?”
* * *
“SHIT, BABY, I hurt you.” Tucker’s voice was gruff as his index finger lightly touched her lip. “You’re bleeding.”
And the sight of that blood tore him up. Her busted lip. He should have been more careful. Damn it. He—
“I don’t know that you did it.” Her hand caught his wrist. “I think I bit my lip right before I came.”
His heart slammed into his chest.
“I was trying to be quiet.”
“You don’t have to be quiet.”
But she gave a sexy, husky laugh. “Trust me, I do. If your FBI buddies are close, I didn’t want them hearing me.”
He hated the sight of that blood on her lips. Tucker hurried into the bathroom and came back with a warm cloth. He dotted it against her mouth.
“You always took care of me.”
He stared into her eyes.
“That was one of the things I liked so much about you. The way you’d surprise me at lunch. Or bring me my favorite energy drink when I was pulling an all-nighter at school.” Her lips curved. “You brought me something every time we had a date. Books. Wine. Roses—”
But she broke off then, going silent. His gaze slid to her shoulder. To the three roses right there. Without another word, he got up and took the cloth back to the bathroom. When he returned to the bedroom, Tucker turned off the lights and slid into the bed with Dawn. She came toward him, curling her body against his, and he locked his arm around her, wanting to keep her right there.
He knew what she’d done tonight. She’d given him her trust—completely. He would do the same for her, even though he was the one who was afraid.
“The last time he hurt us...I was fifteen. Jason was seventeen, just about to turn eighteen.” His voice sounded wooden, even to his own ears. “It was out at that godforsaken cabin. He thought he could keep pushing us around, keep controlling us, but we weren’t kids any longer. We... I...fought back.”
Her hand was pressed right over his heart. Seemed fitting. Did she get that she’d always held the fucking thing in her palm? That he’d gone a bit mad without her?
“I hit him. Punched him. Yanked that belt right out of his hand, and Jason was with me. Kicking and pounding at him. Soon our old man was on the floor.” The rage he’d felt then had staggered him. He’d been shaking and a red haze had seemed to cover his vision. “He ran away from us, screaming that we’d pay. He jumped into his old truck and he shot off, careening down that old dirt road. I figured he’d go back to town. That he’d tell the cops what we’d done. He was always good at spinning stories. He’d tell them we attacked him and we’d go to jail.”
He could feel her light breath against his skin.
“I wasn’t afraid of jail. I was actually kind of relieved. At least I wouldn’t be with him any longer. No one else ever understood the shit we put up with in his house. We always said our bruises came from football. Not his fists.”
“I’m sorry. I was there. I saw you then, and I—”
He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Nothing is on you. Remember that. Nothing is ever on you.” Then he put her hand back where it belonged. Right over his heart. “You probably heard the story about my dad dying...but what you heard, it wasn’t the way things really went down.” Dammit, this was hard. “What really happened... Hours passed while Jason and I were at that damn cabin, and the cops didn’t show. Jason and I started to think he was teaching us a lesson, just leaving us out there in the fucking heat of summer. No food. No drinks. So we started walking. It was night so at least it wasn’t so hot...” Such a lie. It was always hot in the summer, especially in the swamp. “We’d gone about two miles when we found him.” And he had to stop because the memories were so strong. He could hear the crickets, all of the insects chirping around him. He could see the sky filled with a thousand stars. And he’d seen the truck, curled around that big old tree. “Fate.”
“Tucker?”
“My first thought was that he’d gotten what he deserved. Twisted fucking fate. My mom drove away and died when he chased her. And now he...he was the one dead in the wreck. His truck had curled all the way around that tree. Never seen metal crunched that much. Jason ran to him, but I just stood for the longest time.” Staring at the crash. Fate. And he’d thought, This is what you get. This is what you deserve. Pain brings pain. Death brings death.
Tucker looked up at the dark ceiling but he still saw that star-filled night. “Then Jason yelled that he wasn’t dead.” His brother’s voice had cracked when he called out to Tucker. “My mom was trapped in her car, but our father was thrown from his truck. When I got to him, he was about fifteen feet away from the wreckage, like he’d been trying to crawl back toward us. He was covered in blood, choking on it, and he’d grabbed Jason’s leg, holding tight to him.”
“What...what did you do?”
“I watched him die.” The words came out quietly. His darkest secret. “We didn’t have a phone on us. Help wasn’t nearby. There wasn’t anything we could do...” His words trailed away. “That’s what I told myself. But that was bullshit. We both watched him die. We didn’t try to stop the blood. We didn’t try to give him comfort in those last minutes. Bruises were still all over us from the last beating that bastard had tried to give us, and we just watched him.” At the time, he hadn’t felt any emotion. It had just seemed...fitting...the end that his father had. “We were still standing next to him when a sheriff came by the next day, a guy who’d come out patrolling. He thought we’d been in the wreck, too. That we were lucky to survive.” Her touch was so warm on his skin. “Never told anyone differently.” Until her.
He’d had to pass psych tests when he enlisted in the Navy, and then again when he’d been a SEAL. Life seemed like one big test... Am I sane enough to handle what’s coming? It had been easy enough to give the right answers. After all, he’d gotten good at lying from an early age.
Pretending my father wasn’t an abusive bastard. Pretending every single day wasn’t a nightmare.
After Jason’s death, when he’d gone to join the FBI, there had been more tests... He’d gotten past them, too. But if the docs had known the truth about his father’s passing, about how he’d stood there and watched the man die, a grim smile on his lips, Tucker knew he wouldn’t have passed a damn thing.
“Couldn’t help but wonder,” he rasped out, “did my father turn Jason into a monster...or did he just pass that shit on down to my brother? Is it in the blood?” Then his laughter came, bitter and mocking. “Is it in me? Is that what you wonder now? Is it—”
“No.” Her voice was flat. And suddenly, she was even closer, pressing her body tightly to his. “I don’t wonder that about you. I see you.”
She didn’t always. Not right after he’d killed Jason and she’d run into the woods... Not weeks later when she’d cried in his bed. Not—
Dawn kissed him. He could taste the salt of tears in her kiss. She’d been crying for him. Silent tears while he told her his dark secret.
“I see you,” she said again. “And I know what you are.”
* * *
“CATHERINE...” BOWEN TRIED to keep his voice calm. The woman had been crying for the last ten minutes, not making any sense. He reached for her hands and pulled her up so that she stood right in front of him. “I need you to take a breath for me. Can you do that?”
Her breath shuddered out. She gave a nod. Her nose was red. Her eyes still streaming.
“You said that Heather’s boyfriend worked for the FBI?”
“Y-yes... He’d just finished up a big case in Alabama...so he had some time off. He called. W-wanted her to meet him in New Orleans.”
His heartbeat drummed in his chest. “I need a name, okay?”
She blinked.
“Give me his name. Just...tell me his name.”
“Tuck.” Her lips trembled. “She called him Tuck. Never heard his last name...”
Son of a bitch.
* * *
“DAWN!” HE COULDN’T find her. His brother had fallen into the water and Dawn had run into the woods. She was hurt, terrified, and he couldn’t fucking find her. “Dawn, I swear, I am not going to hurt you.”
Insects chirped back at him. He could hear a gator croaking from the river, but there was no sign of Dawn. “Baby, please, come out.” He’d been searching for her, running desperately through those woods, but she seemed to have vanished.
Maybe she was unconscious. Maybe she couldn’t call back out to him. He didn’t know what all Jason had done to her.
Or maybe...maybe she was too afraid to call out.
She’s afraid of me.
“He’s gone. He’s never going to hurt you again.” Then Tucker heard a twig snap. He whipped around, looking to the left. “Dawn.” She was huddled against a big, arching oak tree, nearly hidden by its trunk and drooping limbs.
He rushed toward her.
Dawn threw up her hands. “No!” Her cry cut through the night. “Stay away from me!”
Tucker stilled. He needed her in his arms. “Jason is gone. He won’t ever hurt you again.”
Her hands dropped. He risked a step in her direction.
“Don’t be like him.” Her quiet plea. “Don’t hurt me.”
He took another step. Another. And he realized that she’d heard him calling for her all along, but she’d hidden. Not because she thought Jason was still out there.
But because she was afraid of me.
His jaw locked. He stood in front of her. Didn’t touch her, not yet. Tucker offered her his hand as she huddled on her knees. “I swear on my life, I would never hurt you.”
Slowly, her hand reached for his.
* * *
TUCKER’S EYES FLEW OPEN. He stared up at the darkened ceiling as his heart raced in his chest. He could feel Dawn’s body pressed against his, and he reached for the delicate hand that still lay over his chest.
He held her hand and hoped that she would always remember his promise.