Prologue

As usual, it was a hot morning at Fort Sam Houston army base in San Antonio, Texas. Violet Channing was supposed to be on the other side of the base in ten minutes to see off her father and two best friends, but she had overslept. In her school uniform, she ran across the pavement, through the mess hall, jumping over the small hedges, using the back doors of buildings as shortcuts. By the time she saw the airplane hangar, her knee was scraped, she was winded, her face was beet red, and her unruly hair was plastered against her face.

Violet swung open the heavy door and saw families parting with their loved ones as her father barked commands to others nearby. He wore his army blue best: medals and badges decorated either side of his chest, his beret perfectly situated on his bald head, his spine perfectly straight. Violet’s abrupt entrance had him shaking his head and his eyes narrowed on her disheveled appearance. He handed a clipboard to another man and sternly walked over to her. At the far left side, Cain Sorensen, one of her best friends, was hugging his mother goodbye as she wiped tears away from her eyes while his father, a retired army sergeant first class, stood close, devoid of emotion. On the other side, Jeremy Edwards, her other best friend, was saying goodbye to his mother and father, both of whom sobbed. It was Cain and Jeremy’s first deployment, even though they, too, came from military families.

Violet ran her hands down her plaid skirt and tried to tame her hair as her father neared. “You’re late, Violet Elizabeth.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I overslept. I ran here as fast as I could.”

“If you dropped a few pounds you’d be less winded. It’d be for your own good.” He reached down and pulled a leaf from Violet’s hair, studying it before tossing it into a nearby garbage can. “I gave June instructions on your dietary needs while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon. June will be home by the time you return from school this afternoon.”

Violet looked down at the floor. “Yes, Daddy.”

“See you soon, Violet.” He bent down, placed both hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head before turning his attention back to the man holding his clipboard. She wanted to yell, I love you, Daddy, even though you think I’m too fat. Please come home safely, my big, blubbery behind needs you. But, that was not the way of the Channings. So, she swallowed back her emotions and tried again to tame her hair.

This was the most difficult part—watching him leave. She was sixteen, old enough to know that sometimes men and women didn’t return from war. Her father was tough and unexpressive, but he was her father and she loved him. Her mother had died at childbirth and June, her maternal grandmother, would come and stay with her when her father was away. Violet looked around to see all the families hugging, kissing, whispering loving things to one another, as if it was the last time they’d see one another.

She wanted to hug Cain and Jeremy one last time, but they were busy with their own families. The previous night, Ms. Edwards had had Violet and her father and Cain and his family over for a farewell dinner, and Violet had hugged and kissed both their cheeks so many times they were probably already sick of her. They’d promised to write her as often as possible.

Violet sighed one last time as she saw her father walk around the far end of the hangar to speak with his new privates; she said a silent prayer for their safe return before hurrying off to school. She was two minutes into her walk when someone pulled her ponytail. “Hey.” She turned around, about to elbow whomever was messing with her hair. “Oh, hey, Cain. What are you doing here? Don’t you have to go?”

He pulled her in for a hug. “I’m going to miss your face, sunshine.” He drawled out.

“I’m going to miss your face too, Cain. So much.” She squeezed him back.

He kicked at some broken branches as if he was in absolutely no rush. “So what did I interrupt?”

“Nothin’, just thinking,” she said as she stepped over some logs.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” He loved to tease her.

She shoved his shoulder. “Ha-ha,” she said.

“Headed to school?”

Violet nodded and picked up a blue feather from the ground and held it up to the light before dropping it again and lacing her arm around the crook of his elbow. “Don’t you ever wish we lived in a regular house in a regular community? That we grew up with our parents at home, never leaving us for months on end? That we didn’t live in this base? In these cookie-cutter cement-looking brick houses? I wish I had a big white house with a big ol’ wraparound porch, acres of land, some cows and horses, a little creek in the back, one of those tires hanging from a tree, a—”

“Whoa!” He laughed. “Did you hit your head or something? You’re talking more today than usual. And mostly about nonsense.”

She pulled her hand out and smacked him on the shoulder again. “Am not. You always say that. I’ll have you know, I talk the same amount as the average teenage girl. You just don’t talk enough.” A gust of wind blew some fallen leaves around, and some of them touched her scrape, causing her to wince a little.

Cain looked down. “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

“I fell.” She smiled and shrugged. “I was late and ran.”

“You’re always falling. Klutz.” He pulled her by the forearm to a nearby stump. “Sit.”

“You’re gonna be late,” she protested. “Where’s Jeremy?”

Cain rolled his eyes and she noticed him tense as she sat down. “He was talking to one of the sergeants about something. Dunno.” Cain shrugged. “I overheard that we were leaving in thirty minutes so I snuck out to come see you.” He knelt in front of her and examined her knee. “And you can be a little late on departure day. We live on an army base, they’ll understand. You can’t go to class with blood running down your leg.” Cain reached into an inside pocket of his camo and pulled out a napkin and began to blot Violet’s knee. “You have anything in your book bag?”

Flustered at the contact, Violet shook her head for a moment before she reacted and reached into her book bag and took out a little packet of tissues and a small water bottle and handed it to Cain. As he cleaned her up, Violet looked around the familiar little forest. She remembered all the times that she, Jeremy, and Cain had played in the mud around the nearby creek when they were little. Now, they only went through the forested area to cut across the base when they were in a hurry. The three had shared a lifetime of memories, and now everything would change. They’d be gone and she would be alone.

She looked down at her knee. “Ow—it stings.”

“Sorry,” he said, focused on her injury. “Your father looked meaner than usual today.”

She lifted a shoulder and dropped it. “He hates it when I’m late. He also hates it that I’m fat and slow, and he told Grandma June that I was on a diet again.” She groaned.

Cain laughed. “So, you’ll be eating at my house and Jeremy’s while he’s gone and when June goes to bed at seven?”

“You know me so well. You think your parents will mind now that you won’t be there?”

“Of course not. You’re practically family, they’ll love it.” Cain stood and brushed his knees of dirt. “All done.” He reached for her hand and helped her up. “And, how many times do I have to tell you, sunshine? You’re not fat or slow. You’re dad’s a dick.”

“Stop saying that, Cain. He’s not a dick. He’s just—”

“A dick. I’ve been telling you for years.”

“Look at me, Cain. The only reason you and Jeremy are my friends is ’cause our parents are friends and you’ve known me forever. And ’cause I’d kick your butt if you stopped being my friend.” She jumped on a fallen log, Cain followed. They balanced a few seconds, teetering slightly before jumping off. “Jennifer Tanner already kissed a guy and so did Rena. If I don’t start losing weight soon no boy will ever wanna kiss me and I’ll be just like Major Cavalari, an ugly old maid.”

Cain stepped closer to Violet. “You’re only sixteen, you don’t have to kiss anyone yet. Plus, Major Cavalari is so cool. You know she has more medals than anyone on the base.”

“Yeah, but she’s alone. No one ever hugs her goodbye on leave days. She looks sad.”

Cain shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe. I’ve never noticed.”

“ ’Cause you’re a boy. Boys don’t notice these things.”

Cain stopped walking and looked at Violet as if she’d grown a second head. “I’m not a boy. I’m nineteen and about to step foot in Afghanistan.”

Violet shoved his shoulder trying to ignore the fear she harbored at the thought of her boys leaving off to war. “Whatever.” She brushed it off, trying to lighten the mood. “The point is that I remember your first kiss. It was Stephanie Miller and you were only fourteen. And, Jeremy wouldn’t stop yapping about his first kiss for weeks. It was so annoying. I just want it to happen for me already. Get it out of the way. You know?” She could always kid around with Cain and Jeremy. They were her best friends. There wasn’t a time when she didn’t know them. There were photos all over Jeremy’s house of the three of them in a playpen together, another one when she took her first step and Jeremy pushed her and Cain laughed in the background.

She was kicking a rock out of the way when Cain grabbed her hand and pulled her to a nearby tree causing her to yelp as she struggled to keep her balance. At nineteen, Cain was thin and lanky—all limbs. She was still short and stumpy. He turned her around brusquely and pressed her back against a tree, the bark digging against her back. She looked up at him and saw an intensity in his eyes she’d never seen before. His cheeks were flushed and the vein by his neck pulsed. Suddenly she became nervous. He never looked at her this way—the way the cute guys looked at the pretty girls.

Lately she’d felt flustered when Jeremy was nearby, with his mess of curly dark brown hair and dimpled smile. Feelings that hadn’t been there before were now creeping in with Jeremy. In fact, she could’ve sworn Jeremy had been flirting with her—complimenting her clothes and hair, brushing against her ‘accidentally,’ inviting her to the movies without Cain around. But these brief flirtatious moments were with Jeremy, not with Cain. Cain was just her friend. A little gangly, a little quiet, a lot overprotective.

That was, until now.

Now, there was an awareness that had never been there before.

When he licked his lips, her pulse raised. A foreign feeling—desire—began to take root. He reached for her hair, and she flinched a little before he tucked some stray hair behind her ear. The tender action surprised her. For the first time, she noticed how clear his blue eyes were, how his hair was so blond it almost looked white. All of a sudden, he didn’t seem like just this boy who was always around. Unfamiliar feelings began to erupt throughout her body. She felt her cheeks flame and her heart race. His voice shook a little when he finally spoke. “I’m your friend ’cause I want to be your friend. Not ’cause of your parents or your dumb threats. I don’t like it when you call yourself fat. You’re not fat.”

She nodded and croaked out, “Okay.” She drew her lower lip into her mouth and nibbled as her wide eyes gazed at his. Cain reached and pulled her lip out of her mouth and rubbed the mark. “You’re nervous.” It wasn’t a question. He knew her enough to know her tells.

“I…uh…What are you doing, Cain?”

“I don’t want you to kiss just anyone to get it outta the way.” Words failed her and she nodded again. There was a moment where neither spoke. He just looked at her as if trying to decide on his next move.

“I should be the first person you kiss,” he finally said, as his tongue flicked out a little and wet his lips.

She gasped and looked up into his eyes nervously. His eyes never left hers but his reddened ears and neck showed he, too, was nervous. He wasn’t the only one with the familiarity; she knew him very well too.

Like a fool, she shook her head up and down, mostly because the words were stuck in her throat. It felt like an eternity that he stared at her lips until finally he leaned forward, causing her to press herself farther into the tree, her hands gripping against the bark. He tilted his head to the side and she imitated the action.

Should she open her mouth? Leave it closed? What about her tongue? What should it be doing?

Softly, almost featherlight, his lips brushed against hers and her eyes instinctively closed tight and she stopped breathing. It was less than ten seconds, but it was forever. In that moment she fell into the category of girls who’d had their first kiss. She kept her eyes closed for far too long and when she opened them he was standing upright, his face even more flushed. Her own tongue snuck out of her mouth to taste her lips. She swallowed and looked at him; her eyes surely as wide as saucers. What just happened?

Then, with the same intensity in his expression, he leaned back down, but this time he pressed harder against her, causing her lips to part slightly. His body moved closer to hers, and then she felt his hands grip her waist and his tongue touch her lips before it moved into her mouth. Their teeth crashed together as his tongue touched hers for a brief second, his fingers digging into her skin at her waist. She instinctively melded into him, her body seeking him out.

Again, he moved away and looked at her. His expression never changed and neither did hers. Her eyes were wide, she touched her lips as if to check that this had really happened. They just looked at each other, neither saying anything. Finally she spoke and said the only thing that came to mind. “Wow, my cup runneth over,” she croaked. It was a phrase he teased her about constantly, but it was the exact way she felt; she could barely contain her happiness.

He chuckled and teased. “You’re such a nerd.” The smile did her in, and she threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Hard. He wrapped his arms around her waist and walked them the half step back against the tree again. Their teeth clattered again, and their noses crashed. It was awkward, but as first kisses went—it was perfect.