Prologue
. . . Seven . . . eight . . . nine . . . Ready or not, you must be caught!”
The little blonde girl waited a moment to uncover her eyes. She knew if she were quiet, Marjorie would give herself away. Marjorie always thought she could hide better than anyone could, but sure enough, in less than a minute, Marjorie called out, “Bet you can’t find me, Vivi!”
Moving as quietly as a ghost, Viviana inched toward where she’d heard the sound. Just like always, Marjorie couldn’t stand the silence and gave herself away. “C’mon, Vivi, see if you can find me.”
Seconds later, as she was congratulating herself for being the best hide-and-go-seek player ever, Viviana opened the door to the closet and screamed in shock. Instead of her schoolgirl chum, she saw him!
She ran to the basement, frantically looking for a place to hide. Horrified, she heard the sound of boots on the cellar stairway. Then she heard a gruff voice. “Vivi-anna . . . Where are you, Vivi-anna? Are you trying to hide from me again?” The boots got heavier, louder.
Viviana started to shake. It was hard to breathe. The voice laughed. Icy chills streaked across her naked body. “You want to play hide-and-seek, Viviana? Silly little girl. Do you think I can’t find you?”
Panicked, Viviana ran deeper into the dark cellar. She prayed he didn’t know where she was. But the gruff voice was closer now. She could smell him. It was an ugly, sour smell. She hated that smell. It was the ugliest smell in the world. She spied the steamer trunk and crawled inside. She pulled the lid shut over her. She heard the latch click. It was hard to breathe, but she didn’t care. She held her breath, afraid that if she breathed he would hear her. But it was no use. The footsteps got louder, closer. His voice was haunting, sinister. He laughed, a horrid, cackling sound.
“You like games, don’t you, Viviana? I like them too. Especially hide-and-seek. Silly girl. You think you can hide from me? But I always find you, don’t I?”
Feeling as though she would faint if she couldn’t grab another breath, she heard the door to the cellar open. She slammed her eyes closed, hoping that would make her smaller, quieter. His voice was insinuating. “But we will have to hurry, won’t we, little girl? We can only play so long before your mama comes home.”
Viviana heard the footsteps closing in on her. She sucked in as quiet a breath as she could and held it. But it was too late. Hearing him lift the latch, she smelled the stench of his sweat. She could almost taste his disgusting breath. His triumphant laugh shot spittle over her quaking frame. “Here you are, naughty little girl.” He taunted her. “What a good hiding place you found. But not good enough. Never good enough.”
When he reached for her, Viviana screamed as loud as she could. But his hands were big, strong. He was much bigger than she was. She frantically fought him. She screamed and screamed until her throat was raw. Kicking and crying, she fought him as hard as she could. Her lungs hurt from screaming. But it was no use. He was too big, too strong. Hearing him say her name over and over, she gave in to her terror, praying that she would die. That God wouldn’t let him hurt her again.
“Wake up, Viviana! Wake up, darling.”
She felt him gently shake her. His voice was fierce but calm. His arms around her were strong. He held her tightly against him. “No, no, sweetheart. Don’t fight me. It’s okay, baby. It’s me, Viviana. Me, Jax.”
Struggling to hear him, Viviana tried to understand where she was. Fighting against him, she felt his beard shadow scrape against her cheek. Again she heard his firm voice, the voice she knew. “No, no, darlin’. You’re okay, baby. I have you now. You’re safe, Viviana. Don’t worry. Nothing can hurt you, sweetheart. Do you understand, baby? I have you now.”
A quaking shiver raked over her. No matter how tightly he held her, she couldn’t stop shaking. Her body was freezing cold, but incongruously, she was sweating. Swallowing hard, she tried to breathe, but her constricted lungs wouldn’t let her. She stammered, “I . . . I . . . can’t breathe! Help me, Jax. I can’t breathe!”
His voice was calm. His arms around her were strong. “Yeah you can, baby. I’m holding you, and I’m not going to let you go. Take a breath, sweetheart.”
She shook her head, frantic to make him understand. “I . . . I can’t. You . . . you don’t understand. It’s too hot. I . . . I need to get outside. I need to breathe!”
She felt him rise to his feet while holding her in his arms, tight against his chest. His voice was gentle, comforting. “It’s okay, darlin’. You’re having a first-class panic attack. I have an idea. Let’s go up on the rooftop, shall we? There’s lots of air there.”
Not waiting for her to answer, Jax strode across the bedroom and carried her up the laddered staircase to his rooftop patio. As they cleared the entrance, the cool night air rushed over her. Viviana grabbed a breath and was shocked when the air filled her lungs. Jax sank onto a large armchair and held her securely against him. Viviana buried her head on his strong chest, drinking in his unique smell. Crooning soft, comforting words in her ears, he rocked her back and forth in his arms. Little by little, Viviana began to get her breath. Finally, when she was sure that she could breathe, she leaned into him. As she did, a shuddering wave of fatigue overcame her. As if from a distance, she heard his soothing words.
“You’re okay now, baby. You can breathe. There’s lots of air here. And this is where we are going to stay, sweetheart. All night long. Just you and me, baby. Here under the stars.” Pressing her against his chest, he added firmly, “Here in my arms, Viviana, where nothing and no one can ever hurt you again.”