CHAPTER TWO
I’m scared shitless.
My fear blocks me from processing the grief of losing my mother.
The fear of my uncle possibly hurting Marcel won’t go away either.
The funeral home Chuck demanded I meet him at, is a pleasant enough old Victorian house, painted a cheerful yellow and white. From memory, I park in the back. My heels click over the uneven sidewalk as I circle the building, unsure of what to do next.
Memories of sitting on that front porch trying to keep Carter occupied during my father’s wake roll over me. My breath catches and my heart thumps painfully.
I can’t believe she’s gone.
Approaching the front steps slowly, I’m assaulted by a thousand different memories of my dad’s funeral. Of everyone in the club riding to the cemetery in honor of my dad.
Of my mother downing so much vodka to blot out her grief she could barely stand up at the funeral.
They’re both gone now.
Carter’s sitting in a white rocking chair on the front porch but stands when he sees me. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you think?” My tone comes out much sharper than I intended. His face falls, and I feel like absolute shit. “I’m sorry, Carter.”
My brother’s the sweetest, most forgiving person on the planet and allows me to crush him against me. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Carter,” I whisper, hugging him even tighter.
His body shakes from the effort of holding back his tears. “I was there,” he croaks out. “It didn’t help.”
“It’s not your fault.”
He nods against me. “Right.”
I know my brother. He’ll blame himself.
“Why are you out here?”
“Waiting for you.” He lowers his voice. “Chuck’s come unhinged. I didn’t want to be near him.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I mutter.
He gives me a strange look but doesn’t have a chance to question me.
The front door opens. “You two coming in or not?” Chuck shouts.
Carter puts his hand on my back and ushers me inside, keeping himself between Chuck and me, which I appreciate.
Why he bothered having us meet him here eludes me. Chuck’s not interested in our input. He makes all the decisions concerning my mother and since I honestly have no idea what she wanted, I sit there mute and let him.
When it’s finally over with, the arrangements made, the bills paid by Chuck, he walks us out to the front porch.
“You two want to come to the clubhouse?” He gives me a pointed look. “Just gettin’ together with family.”
I can’t think of anything I want to do less.
“I’m exhausted.” It sounds feeble even to my ears, but it’s the truth.
Ignoring my brother, Chuck pulls me aside. “You remember what I said, right?”
“How you threatened my boyfriend? Yes, I remember.”
His eyes turn cold. “It wasn’t a threat. You don’t want to push me on this one, Charlotte.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He pats my cheek. “Good girl.”
“Come home with me,” I beg Carter once Chuck’s gone. “You shouldn’t be there alone.”
“It’s fine. I want to look through some things before Chuck gets his hands on the house.”
I can’t think of anything of value in that house that Mom didn’t sell off a long time ago. “Like what?”
“Photo albums. Some pictures of Dad. Mom’s journals. You know, before she lost her ever-loving mind.” He flashes a pained smile. “The stuff Chuck will just toss in a dumpster.”
“Carter.” My heart’s breaking and I have to pause to collect myself. “I don’t want you doing it alone. Let me run home and change clothes.”
“Bring pizza or something?”
“You got it.”
Less than an hour later, I stumble into my apartment intent on getting in and out.
Marcel’s waiting for me in the living room.
My heart clenches at the sight of him. For the briefest second I consider falling against him and sharing everything.
Christ, what if my uncle has someone watching my apartment?
“Where you been, Sunshine?” he asks, moving in to kiss me.
I duck out of his hold. “Why are you here?”
“You sounded really down last night.” He steps back, frowning. “I missed you.” His head tilts. “What’s wrong.”
What if Chuck’s on his way over now?
“Nothing. I had a bad day and I want to chill out.” At least that statement’s true.
“Okay, so let’s chill.”
“By myself.”
A flash of hurt crosses his face, but he squares his shoulders. “Can I do anything for you? You want to talk about it?”
The end of my nose tingles and tears sting my eyes. I don’t deserve this sweet, caring man who doesn’t realize every second he’s with me puts him in danger.
“No, I don’t want to talk about it. Can’t I have one night without you in my face?” My voice cracks and I have to look away.
“Are you mental?” He rattles the key to my apartment in front of me. “You gave me this.”
“Yeah, well, it didn’t mean come on over whenever you feel like it.”
“Charlotte,” he says, using a more reasonable tone. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I told you. I want to be alone. I need some space.” Part of me hates myself for giving into my uncle’s demands. But I don’t know what else to do. “You’re suffocating me.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, he sets my key on the desk and opens the door. “Let me know when you’re feeling a little less psycho.”
As soon as he’s gone, I want to run after him and spill everything. Beg him to forgive me, protect me, and figure out this mess.
But that’s a selfish thing to ask when I know how much it will cost him. So instead, I put my back to the door and stare at the wall.
The week’s events sucker punch me in the gut.
My mother’s gone.
My uncle threatened me. Threatened the man I love.
My brother’s traumatized.
And I just chased away the only person who could help me make sense of everything.
I can’t tell Marcel the truth. It’s safer for him to write me off as a crazy bitch.
The alternative is unacceptable—sparking a war between his club and my uncle’s.
That’s exactly what will happen if Marcel finds out my uncle threatened me. Put his hands on me. A man like Marcel won’t let that sort of behavior stand. He’ll go after Chuck. The Wolf Knights will retaliate and it will be a disaster. People will get hurt.
If I allow that to happen, no, if I cause that to happen, Marcel’s club will never forgive him. His club’s his whole life. His family. My uncle’s club ruined my life once, I won’t allow them to rip Marcel’s life apart.
The numbness that followed me all day ebbs and I slide down to the floor. As I sit there in my darkening apartment, the tears finally fall.