“I guess I wanted to believe that James loved me, but just didn’t show it. I wanted to believe that he would change. It’s finally time for me to separate what’s true and what I wanted to be true but never was,” Chloe told Aileen tearfully as she sat across the kitchen table from her later that night.
Aileen Colter couldn’t help but wonder if she had seriously failed as a mother with her youngest child as Chloe finished her confession. She’d been horrified since Chloe had started telling her about James’s behavior since she’d come back to Rocky Springs for good.
Dear God, I knew the relationship wasn’t good, but I never really believed that James was capable of the kind of mental and physical abuse Chloe just told me about.
Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her beautiful baby girl. Chloe was far from being a child, and she’d always had a good head on her shoulders and a kind heart, but she’d been so young and naïve about men when she’d met James, and he’d been the only example of a boyfriend she’d ever known.
“It’s over now, baby,” Aileen told her remorsefully, wishing she’d spoken more frankly with Chloe before now.
She’d been worried about Tate.
She’d been worried about Marcus.
She’d been worried about Blake.
She’d been worried about Zane.
Why had she never really been concerned about Chloe?
My mind was too full of safety concerns about the boys. My baby girl never complains, and I never knew she had any significant issues. But I should have seen her pain, asked more questions when I suspected her relationship with James wasn’t completely healthy. I just didn’t know how very bad it really was…
“Don’t cry, Mom.” Chloe got up from her chair and pulled her mother into a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Chloe,” Aileen said as she rose to hug her.
“It isn’t your fault,” Chloe replied staunchly. “I was ignorant about men when I met James, and becoming engaged to him kept me that way.”
“What happened to make you change?” Aileen asked curiously as they both sat down again. “How did you know you had to find the strength to break it off?”
Chloe smiled fondly. “Lara,” she answered simply. “She’s teaching me to kick major ass, and she knows a lot about unhealthy relationships. She had one or two herself before she met Tate. Not with abuse, but they weren’t good relationships. She helped me get into counseling, and it’s helped a lot.”
Aileen sighed, grateful that Tate had married such a wonderful woman, a female who’d opened her daughter’s eyes to the truth when she couldn’t see it herself. “She’s good for him.”
Chloe rolled her eyes. “That’s putting it mildly. They practically worship each other,” she answered whimsically. “I’d like to have a relationship like theirs one day.”
“You will, Chloe. Just don’t settle for less than you deserve,” Aileen warned, the brief look of longing in her daughter’s eyes squeezing at her heart.
Her daughter shrugged. “I guess I’m not sure what I deserve yet. I never expected much because I’m not exactly the ideal woman. Really, I was probably an easy target for James because I never quite liked myself.”
For several moments, Aileen looked at her youngest child in shock. “I don’t understand. You’re beautiful and educated. You also have a great deal of money, which I hope will never be a factor in any future relationships, but I’m not sure what else you could want.”
“I want to not be fat,” Chloe admitted unhappily.
Aileen gaped at Chloe for a moment before answering. “You’re built just like I am.” Chloe was curvy—she had inherited her mother’s figure—but she certainly couldn’t be defined as being fat. She’d been chubby in high school, but nothing she hadn’t outgrown when she’d matured. “We’re just built this way.”
Chloe had exactly the same curvy hips and padded butt that she had, and Aileen had never once considered herself overweight.
“I always felt different,” Chloe admitted. “But I had Ellie, so I was happy. When I first started dating James, he was charming. The bad stuff came later.”
Aileen’s heart squeezed as she thought about Chloe’s best friend. There was still no information on what had become of the lost woman, and it hurt to think of Ellie coming to any harm. Chloe would be devastated, and Aileen had always adored her daughter’s best friend. “They’ll find her,” she told Chloe supportively.
I just hope they find her alive. After six months missing, it’s not likely.
“I hope so,” Chloe answered fervently.
Aileen took a sip of the hot chocolate she’d made when Chloe had come home. “I’m glad Gabe was there tonight.”
“Me, too,” Chloe admitted. “It was rather mortifying, but I was glad he came to help. To my rescue, actually. It would have been more of a scene if he hadn’t. Still, I wish it hadn’t been Gabe…” Maybe it had needed to be Gabe so she could talk about her pain, but now she was a little embarrassed by the way she had poured her heart out to him.
“Why do you dislike him so much?” Aileen asked curiously, already certain she knew the answer. “He’s always been nice to you.” Truth be told, he’d always been fond of teasing Chloe, and Aileen suspected he didn’t do it for no reason.
“I don’t dislike him. I just don’t really like him.” Chloe laughed at her own words. “That doesn’t quite sound right, does it? Actually, he offered me a job, a chance to get away from town. I guess Doc Thomas retired, so he needs a new resident vet.”
Aileen’s spirits rose. “Are you going to do it?”
Chloe paused thoughtfully. “I want to. I took that extra residency to train in equine medicine so I’d be able to feel comfortable working with horses. But Gabe owns some pretty pricey horseflesh. I’d think he’d want someone with more experience than me.”
“Everybody starts somewhere. And you do have the additional training. You’re perfectly capable, Chloe,” Aileen replied, sending silent thanks to Gabe for being so thoughtful. Chloe was qualified for the position, and it would be a good experience for her. She was actually more than a little overqualified for the position she was filling at the animal clinic since she’d taken the extra residency to specialize in equine medicine.
“Starting with really expensive horses wasn’t my plan, but you know how much I’d love to do that kind of work.”
Aileen knew. Chloe had been horse crazy from the time she could walk. “Do it. It will give you a chance to get away for a while, concentrate on something else.” And someone other than James.
Maybe she was biased because she’d known Gabe Walker nearly his entire life, but she adored him. He’d be good for Chloe. She could see the difference between a man like Gabe and a man like Chloe’s former fiancé. The two were worlds apart.
Unlike James, Chloe had joined the group of vets in town, and she could easily put the position on hold while she took a new job opportunity. The group loved having her, but the practice would survive just fine without her.
“I’ll think about it,” Chloe promised as she finished the last gulp of her chocolate and got up. “I’d better get to bed. It’s late. You should be in bed, too.”
“I might be old, but I think I can function past midnight occasionally,” was Aileen’s smiling response as she watched her daughter take both mugs and put them in the dishwasher. “Sweetheart?” she queried tentatively.
“Yes?” Chloe turned to face her mom.
“You’ll find somebody someday who loves you exactly as you are. You don’t need to change. Your daddy thought I was beautiful, and perfect for him. Some man will feel that way about you when he’s the right man. When you find the right man, you’ll know it.”
“Gabe told me I was perfect once.” Chloe sighed.
Aileen’s brows rose. “Good. He was right.”
“He was drunk. It was New Year’s Eve.”
She smiled at Chloe. “Some men tend to be more honest when they’ve had a few drinks.”
“Did Dad tell you how beautiful you are only when he was drinking?” Chloe asked hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know the answer.
“No. He told me every day,” Aileen answered, her heart still aching for her soulmate, even after so many years. She doubted that Gabe had said what he said only because he’d had a few. Thinking back, Aileen remembered Gabe having a few drinks at her party, but he had been a long way from being completely soused. “You are beautiful, Chloe. Believe me.” The protective mother in her might be biased, but she could see her daughter for exactly what she was: beautiful, intelligent, educated, and sweet—maybe sometimes too nice for her own good.
“Thanks, Mom. You’re beautiful, too. I’ve always wished I looked more like you.” Chloe walked over to her and hugged her before bussing her on the cheek. “Get some sleep. I’ll be fine.”
Aileen looked up into her daughter’s gorgeous, gray Colter eyes. “I know you will. It will just take time, Chloe. James was your one and only, but there are other guys out there. Decent guys. The right guy.”
“James isn’t my one and only anymore,” Chloe said adamantly. “He’s my history.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you, baby.”
“Don’t be. If he hadn’t given me a major wakeup call, I might have ended up married to him. At least I didn’t have to give him back a nice engagement ring,” Chloe joked.
Aileen hurt for her daughter. She could see pain in her pretty eyes, but Chloe, as usual, was denying that torment. James had never even bothered to give her an engagement ring. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough money to buy her something; James had just preferred to spend his money on himself. Her baby girl wouldn’t have cared if she’d gotten a small chip for a diamond. Chloe would have worn it proudly because it was the sentiment that counted.
Aileen wished she’d realized just how awkward Chloe had felt while she was in high school. Maybe she could have helped her back then and avoided the lack of confidence she sensed now.
If only I’d known then what I know now.
Aileen would have discouraged her daughter from getting starry-eyed over James.
“Make your next guy cough up at least a few carats next time,” she replied, thinking how much Chloe deserved someone who was willing to make a serious commitment to her and not to her money. She’d always suspected James saw Chloe primarily as his ticket to success and wealth.
Chloe nodded with a cheeky grin. “At least three,” she agreed. More seriously she added, “I’d like to get more involved in Asha’s charity for abused women. I know so many of those women have it worse than I did, and I understand why women stay in the cycle. Some of them don’t have a way out. I’d like to become an advocate. I’m not ready now, but I think I will be in the future.”
Chloe supported so many charitable causes that Aileen wasn’t in the least bit surprised at her selfless offer. She’d been so young when her daddy had died, but she knew her late husband would be proud of his baby girl. Chloe had grown up a socially responsible adult who would rather give her money away than spend it on herself.
“I’ll help more, too,” Aileen told Chloe encouragingly. “I already contribute to them financially, but I’d love to do more.”
Chloe beamed at her. “We’ll do it together.”
Aileen smiled back at her youngest. She had always been such a happy child, and she’d grown into a cheerful adult. She hid her pain well, but Aileen knew it was still there.
“Mom?” Chloe questioned.
“Yes?”
“How long does it really take to fall in love?”
Aileen paused for moment before answering. Finally, she admitted, “I don’t know. I fell for your dad pretty fast. He had a ring on my finger within a month. Sometimes I guess you just…know. Two people are just connected in an unexplainable way. I know it doesn’t always happen that way, but that’s what happened with me.”
“That’s what happened with Lara and Tate, too. She says I’ll know when I find the right guy.”
“She’s right. You will.”
“I love you, Mom. Sweet dreams,” Chloe said softly as she turned to go to her bedroom, the same room she’d occupied before going off to college.
Aileen watched her daughter head to bed from her spot at the kitchen table, her mind whirling with self-deprecation and guilt.
Why hadn’t she seen how much pain Chloe was going through? Why didn’t she stop it? Granted, she had always let her grown children make their own decisions, but if she’d known about James’s abusive streak, she would have found a way to end it.
Although she wanted to keep Chloe with her as long as possible, she hoped that her daughter would accept the position with Gabe. Chloe had been riding from a very young age, and she had a wonderful affinity with horses, just like she had with all animals.
Aileen highly suspected that Gabe had several intentions other than just giving Chloe a job opportunity for which she was highly qualified, but she didn’t think it would matter. Gabe Walker was a good man, and maybe Chloe could finally see what it was like to have a man like Gabe care about her.
She sat there thinking about her children, mainly Chloe, before she finally rose and went to bed.