Chapter 9
Mila slumped down on the bed in the mezzanine bedroom. She buried her face in her hands, but she couldn't get Marcus's words out of her head. This was just frickin' great. This was absolutely brilliant. Why did she have to go make a mess of this?
She couldn't sit here moping about it, though. What was done, was done. She couldn't go back on it. She didn't want to, anyway. She had a child to think about now. She had to get her act together in a hurry.
She took her suitcase out of the closet and started packing it with all the things she just took out when she moved into this condo. She zipped it up and sat down again with her phone in her lap. She curled up on the pillows one last time and dialed the number.
“Hi, Mom. It's just me checking in. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, that's all. How are you? How's the clean-out going? Yeah, I know Dad had a lot of old stuff packed around the place. You'll manage all right. Have you heard from Charlie? That's good.”
Mila let a long pause pass by. She listened to her mother's sing-song voice. She waited for a discrete opening.
“Listen, Mom, I've got something to tell you. I'm coming home for a while, but I won't be staying. I've decided to stop working in New York for a while, but I don't think I'll work in Jersey, either. I was thinking about moving out to the West Coast. I need a change of scene.”
“Why would you want to do that?” her mother asked.
Mila took a deep breath. “I'm pregnant, Mom. I just found out. I want to spend some time with you and the rest of the family, and then I think I want to make a big change. I haven't really decided what I want to do yet. I need some time to think.”
Mila sat in silence and listened to the explosion of exclamations and tears and congratulations she knew would come when she broke the news. She smiled at her mother's promises and plans. She knew her mother would rejoice at a grandchild on the way.
How could she think of robbing her mother and the rest of her family this precious experience? She must have been out of her mind. None of them would trade this for all the money in the mint.
She got off the phone as soon as she could and finished packing. She took one last look around the condo. It sure was nice, but she never belonged in a place like this anyway. She would go home to her mother's quaint little house. She had nine months to rebuild her life and get ready for the next phase of her evolution.
She wheeled her suitcase downstairs and stood in the entry waiting for the elevator. The bell pinged, but when the door slid open, Marcus rushed out. He grabbed both her hands and started talking so fast she could barely keep up with what he said. “Oh, thank goodness you're still here. Listen, Mila. I'm a troll. I'm really sorry for saying all those things. You're absolutely right. This baby is as much yours as it is mine. I have no right to take that away from you, not after the time we spent in the limo. I don't know what I was thinking.”
“I know what you were thinking. You were thinking we had a contract, and you expected me to stick to it. I understand that. You have every right to be angry.”
He waved her comments away. “Just listen to me. I've got it all worked out. I figured out a way we can both get what we want. It's the perfect solution.”
“I'm listening.”
He took a deep breath and puffed out his cheeks. All of a sudden, he dropped on one knee in front of her. “Marry me, Mila. I'm crazy about you and I always have been. I was a damn fool to think I could go through this baby thing with you and not get attached to you somehow. Now we're both in up to our necks. This is the only way we can both get what we want. We'll both get to keep the baby. We'll raise it together instead of tearing each other apart fighting over it. You can keep the money for your mother's house. Everything will be perfect.”
Mila's jaw dropped. “Marry you? You must be out of your mind.”
He broke into hysterical giggles. “I know I am. I'm head over heels in love with you, Mila. That's why I lost it just now. I couldn't face losing you. Marry me, and let's raise this baby together.”
“I can't marry you, Marcus. You're not thinking clearly. You're in shock because I said I wanted to keep this baby. When you have a chance to think about it, you'll realize you don't really want to marry me.”
He didn't seem to hear. “We're a match made in heaven, you and me. We obviously have strong sexual chemistry. We work together well. We respect each other. It's the perfect solution in a thousand ways. I want to cherish you, Mila. I want to take care of you and support you through this pregnancy. Stay here. We can stay here together until we get all the arrangements finalized. Come on. What do you say?”
She couldn't stop shaking her head, but her eyes shone. “I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore, but you're only saying this because you don't want to lose this baby. You don't really want to marry me, or we would have connected a long time ago. We had one afternoon of wild sex and I got pregnant, but that doesn't mean we should get married.”
A shadow crossed his face. “Do you feel the same way about me that I feel about you?”
She squeezed his hands. “You're a wonderful, smart, handsome, sexy man. You're a dynamite businessman and a great boss. I never had sex with anyone like I had with you. I don't know if I'll ever be the same, but this is all too sudden. I never thought about marrying you. I was thinking about moving out West and rebuilding my life mothering a child.”
He frowned. “You can't move out West. You can't take the child away from me.”
She raised him from the ground. “Please, let's not argue about that now. We both want what's best for this child. Let's work together to give it the best life possible, but getting married? That's putting the cart before the horse, don't you think?”
Marcus nodded, but he couldn't stop frowning. “You're right. It's too sudden. I just blew up at you, and now I'm asking you to marry me. This is all too much at once. Why don't you stay here for a few more days? We can talk about this and decide what to do.”
“I can't stay here. I'm going home to my mother's for a while. I just spoke to her on the phone and she's over the moon about this baby.”
He kept nodding. His expression softened. “You're right. You need your family around you right now. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help you. I want to be part of this. I want to help you and the baby.”
What else was there to say? She walked him out of the condo. When the elevator opened in the lobby, they parted with a simple nod. Mila wheeled her suitcase out to the sidewalk to catch a cab when an overwhelming wave of exhaustion swept over her. She reeled on her heels and had to support herself against a pole before she collapsed on a bench by the bus stop.
She cradled her head in both hands. Nausea ate at her guts, and she gasped for a breath of fresh air. A cold sweat broke out all over her body. Did she have nine months of this to look forward to? How could she ever get through it? How could she work like this, when she couldn't even stand up? All her energy drained out of her. All her motivation to rebuild her life crumbled between her fingers.
She didn't want to deal with her mother right now. She didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to lie down on the couch and fall asleep. She should have taken Marcus up on his offer to stay in the condo a few more days.
What if he was right? She couldn't do this alone. Even if she could, she didn't want to. She didn't want to call on her family for help. She always prided herself on running her own life. She couldn't call on anyone for help. She was alone in the world.
Only one person on the planet cared about her and this baby. Only one person cared as much as she did about giving this baby the best: Marcus. He already said he wanted to help her. He cared about her enough to want to marry her. Why didn't she jump at the chance when he offered? Why did she have to kick him in the teeth?
Did she really want to marry him? Would she want to marry him if she wasn't pregnant with his baby? No one could ask for a nicer, smarter, sexier, more successful man. He lit her fire like no one else. That she knew for a fact. Why not? Why couldn't she marry him and let him support her through this pregnancy?
Heaven knew she didn't want to fight him in court. She didn't want to scratch his eyes out over who would have the kid's birthday parties when. No kid deserved parents like that. She would do anything to spare the kid a life of constant stress and hostility. Would she really do anything? Did she care for her child enough to marry Marcus?
When she looked the unvarnished truth in the face, she couldn't deny it. She wanted him. She wanted to love him. She wished more than anything she could fall on her knees and love him the way he said he loved her. She would give anything to be able to do that. So why couldn't she?
Was it just her stupid pride that held her at a distance? She couldn't stop thinking about him as her boss. Well, he wasn't her boss anymore. He was....what was he?
Her heart searched the world for one solid anchor point to stop her drifting away into uncertainty. She found nothing to hold onto—nothing but him. He offered her everything. He offered her a lifeline.
She could cut her moorings and drift. She could kick ass and rebuild if she wanted to. She could move somewhere no one knew her, but why should she? Why shouldn't she seize the happiness staring her straight in the face?