I feel almost like a new person. It’s amazing what a shower, clean clothes, and a toothbrush can do for one’s demeanor.

Shopping in Nicaragua isn’t like just swinging by the mall. There’s no Victoria’s Secret or Nordstrom as a one-stop shop.

No. Gabe whisked me through an open-air market and I was in heaven. I’ve always loved shopping in the markets every time I’ve been here. I ended up with a maxi dress with spaghetti straps and a pair of wide, loose-fit pants with a matching cami. Gabe bought two pairs of shorts, a t-shirt, and a soft, short sleeved blue button down that will do amazing things for his eyes.

What they do not have in the open-air markets in Nicaragua are panties. Or bras, for that matter.

After schlepping through the rainforest for days and being man-handled by guerrilla terrorists, there was no way I was putting on that dirty bra and pair of panties. I’ll happily go without.

Then we bought local fruits, meats, cheeses, and some veggies off the street. I could have died when Gabe threw in some dark chocolate and a bottle of rum.

When I raised a brow at the rum, he said he didn’t have any happy umbrellas, but he could make me a fruity rum drink and said I’d earned it.

I didn’t argue.

Then he threw in a bottle of whiskey for himself and we were off again, Gabe informing me that once we got to the condo we weren’t leaving until we were on our way to the airstrip. I wondered if that meant we were going to talk about whatever this is that’s happening between us.

We took turns showering, ate, and Gabe sat down next to me and asked who I needed to call to check on my grandmother. Unfortunately, that meant calling my mother. He asked for the number and after punching in a slew of numbers, he handed me the house phone in the condo. Then he pressed his lips to my forehead before heading out to the balcony to give me some privacy.

It was not good news.

That was an hour ago.

I shiver. I don’t know if it’s the AC after being stuck in the heat for days or if it’s the news about my grandmother, but I have a chill I just can’t shake.

I’m sitting sideways on the sofa, watching the sun slink away for the day. Gabe settles in behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me into his chest. He smells clean and all man from the whiskey neat he’s been sipping. Ever since I got the news about my grandmother, Gabe has been attentive and sweet—nothing like the man I’ve known for the last four months. I’m working on a stiff rum drink he made me. I don’t even ask what’s in it, I just know it’s delicious.

He hands me a fresh glass as he wraps me up in his arms. “You’re covered in goosebumps. Why didn’t you tell me you were cold?”

Not thinking about him being my boss is selfish but I don’t care about right or wrong. I allow myself to sink into his warm chest and ask, “Whose condo is this?”

He takes a sip of his drink and sets it on the table, running his hands over my bare arms to warm me. “I don’t know.”

I turn to look at him. “You broke in?”

He frowns at me. “No. I only break into things when it’s absolutely necessary. My buddy arranged this. It’s owned by a friend of his, so it’s safe. We don’t have to worry about anyone being paid off for details on an American businessman and his beautiful female associate.”

I sigh. “I’ve always loved it here. Do you think you’ll ever figure out who targeted us? I’ve been here so many times and never had any problems.”

“I doubt we’ll ever really know what happened. I need to take a closer eye on security for future trips. I’ll bring you back someday and not just for work.”

I tense in his arms. “Gabe, we need to talk about—”

He shakes his head, his scruffy beard pulls through my hair. “No. We’re not talking tonight after you got the news about your grandmother. You relax and let me get you to Wilmington tomorrow. That’s all that matters.”

I feel a lump form in my throat and my eyes burn with moisture. I shake my head and bite my lip so hard I taste copper, but I can’t overcome it. I’ve fought it off ever since I got off the phone with my mother. She might have given me the news, but she sure as hell did it with the edge of her tongue for me not being there, telling me all about the time she’s had to invest pretending she even cares what happens to her own mother, and finally, for me allowing my unnecessary and demeaning job to get in the way of family affairs. All I heard about was how she had to explain to all their friends and acquaintances why I wasn’t there.

Appearances. Money. Status.

It’s all my mother ever cared about and, when her own mother is on her deathbed, she hasn’t changed a bit.

After she rattled off the word hospice, I needed no more information. I knew.

“Lillian, I’ll get you to your family. I promise.” Gabe’s strong and steady voice is so close, so warm. I think it’s his comforting me that makes my tears break through their barrier. When he realizes I’m crying, he takes my drink out of my hand. “Fuck. Come here.”

He turns me to him, sliding a thick arm under my legs and the other up my back. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his neck, and the next thing I know, for the first time in days, I’m settled in a soft bed, but this time, with Gabriel Blackburn wrapped around me.

Gabe pulls me tight to his body and strokes my hair and face while shushing my cries.

“I’m s-s-sorry,” I try. “But hospice is there—it’s bad. I just don’t know what my life will be like without her. She’s the only g-good part about my family. I’m going to miss her so much.”

“Dammit, Lillian. I’m so sorry you’re not there. Sorry you felt like you had to be here this week because of me. It’s my fault.”

I shake my head against his chest, not wanting him to blame himself. “It just happened. It’s no one’s fault.”

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning. We have our passport papers all set. Try to sleep.”

I feel a little bad about wiping my face on his new t-shirt, but he’s holding me so tight and I don’t want to get up for a tissue.

He traps my chin in his fingers and lifts my face to his. This time he kisses me soft and slow, easing the pain in my heart with each swipe of his tongue. When he stops, he closes his eyes and breathes against my lips in a way he’s holding back, keeping some secret that’s causing him pain.

“You didn’t sleep at all last night. I should go to the sofa to sleep, since I snore and all,” I say.

His eyes open and then narrow on me just as quickly. “If you even think about leaving my arms, Lillian, we’re gonna have issues.”

With that, he grabs a blanket and pulls it over us before wrapping me back up. Since I don’t want to have issues with my boss’s boss, I decide to stay right where I am. He’s the one who has to listen to me snore and I offered him a reprieve.

I try not to think about my sweet Gran, Gabe being off limits, and especially my exhausting mother. I settle into Gabe and with the sun barely hanging on to its last rays of the day, we both fall asleep.

Either Gabe is lying about my snoring or it’s only taken him two days to get used to it, because we didn’t move away from one another’s touch all night.