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Blaze: A Firefighter Romance by Lisa Lace (32)

Chapter Two

JORI

I stood frozen outside Sam's door. Was she crying?

I had the urge to go in and wrap my arms around her, but it was against my nature. I wasn't comforting. I focused on other things. I didn't have time to be compassionate, kind, or considerate, and she would have to adjust.

A memory of the feelings I experienced when I saw Samantha the first time flashed through my head. I was short of breath. My heart pounded and my pulse raced. It had almost felt as though I were in love.

Almost, but not quite.

I pushed the thought away. I didn't have time for love either.

I walked into the kitchen and pulled out some fish and sea vegetables from the refrigerator. I liked to cook, though I didn't do it often. I could only work in the kitchen when I had time off at home, like the two days I had taken off for my wedding.

I found the kitchen calmed me when I was upset. My mother taught me the basics before she died. I learned the rest by trial and error.

When we were children, I loved making pancakes. Nathaniel had eaten a lot of uncooked pancakes until I learned to let all the bubbles burst before flipping them. He never complained or teased me about it. He just told me to try again and that I would get it.

I let fish oil melt in the pan before I slid in some fillets and gently fried them. As the fillets cooked, I prepared a salad. I laid the plate, fork, and knife out on the island with precision. I folded a napkin in half, carefully matching the edges and sliding it under the knife.

By this time, the fish was done; I scooped it out and placed it on the plate. I put some salad on the other half and sat down to eat. I thought of offering Sam some food, but I remembered she didn't enjoy Vandwan cuisine and had eaten already. At least four of her messages mentioned she was waiting for me at the restaurant across the street.

As I ate, my thoughts turned to Sam again. I hoped she had fallen asleep. When I heard the shower turn on, the noise pushed my thoughts in a different direction.

Sam was in my shower right now. She was naked.

When I had first seen her, I was captivated by her beauty. I forced myself to remember that the exterior and interior of a person were different. Still, she cleaned up nicely. She was gorgeous for an Earth woman, and one of the sexiest females I had ever seen. For a second my mind imagined her nude in my shower, and I felt a rush of lust overcome my body.

I walked over to my pull-up bar and forced myself through multiple sets of exercise until my body was tired and I wasn't thinking about sex anymore.

Sam chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel. She glanced at me and scurried across the hall into her bedroom. Just like that, the erection was back.

Maybe it was going to be harder than I imagined to keep myself under control.

I remembered what Nathaniel said to me earlier.

"I think when you have a wife, she is expected to sleep with you. If she's willing, or even throwing herself at you, it's won't be as easy to resist her as you think. If you have a good reason, maybe you can hold out. You're probably going to have to cut it off if you want to abstain."

I had scoffed at the time, thinking I could resist any woman. I had techniques to control myself other than a cold shower. But now that I was in the heat of the moment, remembering how she had looked seconds ago clad only in a towel, I thought that I might need additional help.

I had fancied myself a master at withstanding female advances, but I now realized the advances came from uninteresting women who had not been living in my home.

I thought about my impending marriage to Sam and having her next to me every day. I had kissed her once before, and it was incredible. Based on her response, I knew she was attracted to me as well.

The notion of us remaining celibate for an entire year seemed naive at best, but I had made myself a promise that I wouldn't sleep with her. As soon as sex was involved, the women always got lovey-dovey and expected commitment. They wanted to hear "I love you" and things got complicated. I could do without further complication in my life. I didn't want to hurt her, either.

The year would pass more smoothly if we didn't get emotionally involved. Maybe Sam and I could have a talk where we went over the ground rules between us.

I'd tell her that we were not going to sleep together. Once she understood that I was not interested in her for sex, everything would get easier, and the fantasies that had been playing in my head since we kissed would stop.

That would get my sex drive under control, right?

A moment later, she came out of her room. It was a hot night, and she wore a white tank top and sky blue pajama pants with white furry animals on them. I wasn't entirely familiar with Earth animals, but they may have been sheep. I could clearly see her nipples through the fabric of the tank top. It was a little short; it rode up and gave me a tantalizing peek of Samantha's flat stomach.

"Jori?" she asked. She sounded tentative. I wondered if she were afraid of my reaction.

I cleared my throat and looked at her face, ignoring the twin buds that were staring at me from her chest.

"Yeah?" I said, trying to look friendly and failing miserably. My brother said I always looked intense or brooding, no matter what sort of mood I was in.

"I can't get the window open, and it's hot in my bedroom. Would you please come and try to open it?"

"That stupid thing," I said, shaking my head. "When the tide rises, it sticks. It's very annoying. Nathaniel complains about it every time he stays here."

"Good to know it's not just me," she said, following me into her bedroom. She had her suitcase open but hadn't put anything away. Apparently she had been digging to the bottom of her luggage to find her pajamas because everything in her suitcase was in disarray. She had pulled out some clothes and dropped them on the bed.

Hadn't she only been here for a few minutes? I had lived by myself for a long time, and I had forgotten what it was like to have a roommate. She was messy.

Maybe it didn't matter. She wasn't going to be sharing a bedroom with me. I needed to set up some ground rules for the apartment and make sure she kept shared living spaces tidy.

I strode across the room and yanked on the window. It wouldn't open for me either.

"Shit," I muttered. I looked at Sam quickly. I had forgotten I wasn't alone. She didn't seem shocked, but she was blinking her eyes a lot and yawning. She was working hard to stay awake. "Does profanity bother you?"

She lifted an eyebrow. "Fuck, no," she said. I felt a smile start to form in the corner of my mouth. "But I find it unusual for a Vandwan to cuss like an Earther."

"I learned that one from Ashlyn, and it's been hard for me to put down."

"I see," she said, smiling in response.

"I think we should make a bed in the living room. This room will be unbearably hot with the window shut."

"That's fine with me. I think I can rest on the couch tonight. I'm so tired that I think I'll be out as soon as I lie my head down."

I nodded.

She grabbed the comforter and pillow off the bed and trailed after me to the living room. The windows here were already wide open, and a cool breeze was flowing through the air.

"This is great," she said. "Thanks, Jori."

I hadn't done anything except suggest she sleep in the living room but if she wanted to thank me, she could. My mother's training kicked in, and I replied automatically.

"You're welcome. I'll see you in the morning."

She nodded and smiled, but I could see she was practically unconscious already. I walked back down the hall into my bedroom and shut the door.

"This is going to be difficult," I said to the empty room.

I lay down to sleep, but my mind was restless. My thoughts kept drifting back to Sam, who was a few feet away from me. Only a door separated us. I knew a way to force my body to sleep — I had to push it until I was exhausted. That shouldn't be a problem. I'd go for a run in the park.

I changed into shorts and a T-shirt and snuck out of my apartment. Sam was snoring on the couch with an arm flung back over her head. She looked sweet, but I didn't let my gaze linger on her too long. Now it was time to run if I was going to get any sleep tonight.

Part of the problem, I reflected, was that I hadn't gotten laid in a long time. There were plenty of chances for me; with my looks, there were always girls who wanted me to take them home. However, I was not going to mess around with an unsuspecting woman for a one night stand. My work was dangerous. Everyone around me thought I was a lifeguard, but that job was a piece of fiction. In my real job, there were many things at stake, and I couldn't afford to lose focus.

I wondered why I put Samantha into my life if I wanted to concentrate. I guess she was different. I needed her to keep me out of jail, and my freedom was essential if I was going to accomplish my mission. Since my release from prison, I had been trying to get back into a few elitist circles. These people were wealthy and more tiresome than I remembered, but I could put up pretenses as well. I had discovered I could tolerate a lot to accomplish a life goal.

I was an undercover government operative investigating a child trafficking organization. It was difficult running an investigation from jail. I was confident the person behind the organization was named Harrington, and I believed he knew I was after him. He was the reason I was in jail in the first place. I believed he revealed some compromising information about me to my brother and sister, and they were forced to turn me in.

We don't have much crime on Vandwa, so when there is something illegal going on, there isn't always full disclosure. There were stories about missing children on the news. No one could cover up a child who disappeared, but there were reasonable explanations. Maybe they got lost. Maybe they ran away from home. I never had heard anyone mention the most likely explanation: maybe they had been kidnapped to be sold for credits.

Children had always gone missing on Vandwa, like everywhere else. But with the sea everywhere, most missing children were presumed dead. They could breathe underwater, of course, but if the child became unconscious, they wouldn't be able to use their underwater breathing organs. Our abilities weren't magic and required conscious thought. The dangers of the ocean might explain the disappearances if you didn't know any better.

I knew better. Some children had escaped captivity, and their stories would make anyone cry. Many kids were kidnapped and sold for adoption. Although adoption was bad, it was not a terrible fate. The children were bought by wealthy people who couldn't conceive, but they were alive.

Unfortunately, some children were sold for their organs. The thought made me gag. Either way, someone was tearing children away from their mothers, and it was difficult for me to live a happy life when this was happening on my planet. I never wanted it to happen again. Maybe I couldn't save everyone, but I could save some. I would do my best to put away the assholes stealing our future and selling it to the highest bidder.

It was wrong, it was cruel, and it was my job to stop it.

I headed down the boardwalk towards the park. Even though I lived here, I was still amazed at what Ashlyn and Nathaniel accomplished in a short time. Everything felt solid and was well-anchored. You would never know that it floated on the sea, with no natural land around for miles. No cities had reported any destabilization for two years. I didn't think it was possible, but the engineers had used science and materials from other planets that were resistant to corrosion.

When I reached the park, I turned in and ran along a lighted path. None of our cities had significant amounts of street crime, but I saw no need to tempt fate by running in the dark in the middle of the night.

As I moved and my body switched gears, my mind drifted. I couldn't believe that I was getting married tomorrow. The idea scared me.

I had never planned on getting married at all after seeing how my father treated my mother. There were nights of arguing, storming out in rage, and not knowing where my parents were. Nat and I had both sworn off marriage forever. But separately, both of us had gotten into a situation where marriage was the only thing that could get us out of trouble. Thank goodness for TerraMates and family fortunes that could afford to pay for the service.

Like most innovations, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. But now that it was happening in front of my eyes, I could see many flaws in the plan to keep me out of jail. I knew Samantha was beautiful, but I had underestimated my attraction to her. I was determined not to sleep with her and make my relationship with her and my family more complicated.

I hadn't thought about our day-to-day living arrangements. If she were messy, it would drive me crazy.

The ultimate concern was the most unnerving. I might not be able to protect her in a firefight. If anything happened to Sam because of my work, I would never forgive myself. The focus of my career was to save innocent lives. I didn't want Sam's life to be sacrificed to save others. It was unacceptable to me morally, and she had no idea what she was getting into by becoming my bride.

I had promised to keep my job a secret. It made me feel guilty jeopardizing an innocent. If it were up to me, I would be upfront and tell her, "If you marry me, you might get killed if everything goes to hell."

But I couldn't say that.

I had gone to jail for over a year to keep my secret, so I certainly wasn't going to do it just to have full disclosure before I married a human. I hoped she would understand in the future, but my mission was everything to me. What happened to my life was of little consequence. I had the potential to impact many lives.

As I completed one final loop, I felt fatigue dragging at my body. I hadn't made it as far as I wanted to, but I thought it would be enough. I would go home, get a good night's sleep, and have my wedding the next day.

I had never gotten out of the habit of scouting my surroundings. There was a figure lurking in the shadows in front of my apartment building. He might have been waiting for a ride.

I took a loop around the block, and the man was in the same spot. He kept looking up at my apartment. The appearance of a person who is waiting for something and the aura of an individual who is pretending to wait for something are different things.

This man wasn't waiting for anything. He was spying on something. By the way he kept looking at my living quarters, he was probably spying on me.