I ran past the caretaker and back out to the car.

The school building, the road, the passing traffic – everything blurred into one big, messy swirl, spinning around in front of my eyes slowly and then faster, faster.

I stumbled and fell against the school gate, the iron railings cool and unforgiving against my skin.

‘Whoa, hold up, miss.’ The caretaker appeared at my side. ‘You’re going to hurt yourself if you carry on like that. Why don’t you come inside and sit down for a minute or two?’

‘No.’ I shook my head, feeling even dizzier. ‘I have – I have to find her. My daughter.’

I stood up straight and took a deep breath. He stepped towards me and held out his arms as if I might topple over any second.

‘I’m fine, thanks,’ I said, wishing he’d just go away. And then I had a thought. ‘Have you got Harriet Watson’s phone number?’

‘Sorry, love.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t have access to information like that. It’s all on a computer in the office, you see. You still look a bit unsteady on your feet.’

‘I have to go,’ I muttered, stepping out onto the pavement. ‘I have to find Evie.’

The caretaker watched me as I walked unsteadily to the car.

‘I don’t think you should be driving,’ he called, but I ignored him and climbed awkwardly into the driver’s seat.

I pulled the door to, leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes. My thoughts were bouncing around like manic ping-pong balls. I couldn’t seem to catch them and put them in any semblance of order.

My phone started ringing and my heart leapt. I grabbed my handbag and rooted around in it, pulling out my phone. A mobile number flashed up but no name. I answered it, a sickly dread clogging my throat.

‘Hello?’ I croaked.

‘Toni? It’s Jo, I just got your text. Is everything OK?’

‘It’s Evie.’ My voice broke into a sob. ‘She’s gone.’

---

I sat and waited like Jo told me to until she arrived. It nearly killed me, doing nothing, but Jo was insistent. I opened the window in an effort to try to clear my head, help me think straight.

‘Are you going to be alright, love?’

I jumped, my eyes springing open, to find the caretaker leaning close to the glass.

‘Yes, I’m fine, my friend is on her way over,’ I said. ‘Thanks, but there’s nothing more you can do now.’

‘I’ll go and check the classrooms again,’ he said. ‘Just in case. You know what little girls can be like.’

I looked at his wrinkled face and thin lips and shuddered. I didn’t want to think about him and Evie alone in the building together.

‘Thanks,’ I mumbled, and closed the window.

Ten minutes later, a small white Fiat pulled up in front of me and Jo jumped out. She ran towards my car, but before she reached me, the caretaker intercepted her, holding up his hand.

The caretaker had his back to me but I could see him shaking his head and speaking. Jo listened and then turned her head slightly so I couldn’t see her mouth. She said a few words to him and they both turned and looked at me.

‘What?’ I shouted from inside the car. Evie was missing and those two were chatting like we had all the time in the world.

Jo rushed over to the car and slid into the passenger seat. ‘Oh my God, Toni, you look terrible.’ She grasped my hand and her fingers felt cool and damp. ‘What’s happened?’

‘What did he say?’ I snapped.’ What were you talking about?’

‘Mr Bryce is just concerned about you,’ she said evenly. ‘He said everyone has gone home. You poor thing, you must be out of your mind.’

Dissolving into tears at her concern, I just about managed to tell her the gist of what had happened.

‘I don’t know who to contact, what to do,’ I sobbed, and then a moment of clarity broke through the fog. ‘I think I should call the police.’

Jo stared at me for a second and then shook her head. ‘There are things to check first. The police will ask what you’ve done to find her,’ she reasoned.

‘Like what?’ I sniffed. ‘There’s nobody around to ask and I haven’t got Harriet Watson’s number.’

‘Well, Evie obviously isn’t here at school, but you were late, right?’

I nodded.

‘So maybe Harriet took her home. Have you been back to your house?’

My eyes widened. How could I have been so stupid?

‘She might be waiting for me at home,’ I whispered.

I reached towards the keys in the ignition.

‘No, we’ll go in my car,’ Jo said, narrowing her eyes. ‘You seem so upset and unfocused. Mr Bryce thinks you shouldn’t be driving.’

---

As we turned into Muriel Crescent, I undid my seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

‘Don’t open the car door yet,’ Jo said quickly.

My whole body shook as my eyes searched out our house at the end of the row of mews-style new properties.

‘She’s not there,’ I cried. And then, louder, ‘I can see she’s not there.’

I pulled on the handle and the door swung open, narrowly missing a parked car as we moved by it.

‘Toni, for fuck’s sake!’ Jo screamed, slamming on the brakes. ‘Close the fucking door!’

I stared at her, mouth open wide. It was liked someone had just flicked a switch inside her. I’d never heard her so much as swear in the office, never mind lose her temper. I jumped out of the car and started to run towards the house, the strains of Jo shouting my name growing fainter as I went.

It was clear there was nobody standing outside the house. No Harriet and no Evie. I reached the front door, panting and gulping in air. I dashed down the side of the house into the back yard.

‘Evie,’ I called frantically. ‘Evie!’

A head appeared over the hedge.

‘Lost your daughter again, have you?’ Colin smirked.

‘Fuck off,’ I snarled, and ran back to the front of the house. Jo had parked up and was walking towards me.

‘Toni, for God’s sake, you have to calm down.’ She grabbed my arm. ‘You have to think logically. Let’s go inside.’