Summer curled waves of heat around the springtime air, warning everyone she was upon us.
I had one week left until I could do what I wanted most—flee back home or go anywhere else that wasn’t here.
Thankfully, none of my co-workers commented on my rumpled appearance or sleep-starved eyes. And the kids, besides Lou Lou, were oblivious for the most part as long as their routine stayed the same.
Armed with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge that I kept in the sink at the back of the room for cleaning art supplies and paint mishaps, I got comfortable in front of the marker art drawn on the wall. Well, as comfortable as one could get on hard wood floor.
“You should really try isopropyl alcohol.”
The sponge landed in the bucket, drops of warm water jumping up to smack me in the face.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Thomas standing in the doorway of my classroom, holding his fedora between his hands. “Huh?”
He closed his eyes and sucked in a hissed breath. When they reopened, they flashed with irritation. “It’s excuse me, Little Dove. And I meant rubbing alcohol.”
When I still sat there dazed, he continued as though I didn’t understand him. I did; I was just speechless. “Nail polish remover, hand sanitizer …”
I got up off the ground, halting him right there. “I know what rubbing alcohol is.” I rolled my eyes. “I went to college, remember?” I reminded him of the time he’d all but accused me of being uneducated.
“I suppose they don’t teach manners there.”
Ignoring that, I waved at Lou Lou, who stood behind him, chomping on an apple.
“What can I do for you, Dr. Verrone?”
Brows furrowed, perhaps over the use of his surname and not his first, it took him a moment to say, “I was just saying hello.”
Now it was me who was confused. “Right. Well, thank you?”
“You’re welcome. May I walk you to your car?”
I stared back at the wonky smiley face on the wall, then shrugged. “Sure, one second.”
I took the bucket and sponge to the back of the room to empty and set it upside down next to the sponge on the sink. When I turned around, Thomas was studying the math equations on the whiteboard. “This is basic.”
“Such simple things to us,” I combatted. “We forget how intricate it is for the mind to solve at first.”
Thomas stared, his eyes unreadable as they stuck themselves to mine.
Lou Lou cleared her throat, and then he said, “Actually, Lou would like to know if you want to play.”
I glanced from him to her, uncertain where this idea had come from.
Lou Lou groaned and yanked on his hand. Thomas sighed. “Fine, she said you need to come play because you haven’t smiled properly in two weeks.”
Ignoring the curious gaze from her dad, I asked Lou Lou, “Is that right?”
“Yep. Swings always make me smile.”
With nothing else planned besides ramen noodles and a half-finished book, I locked up and followed them outside to the empty playground.
“We’re technically not supposed to let anyone use the play equipment after school hours,” I unlocked the gate, and bent low, whispering to Lou Lou, “so it’ll have to be our little secret.”
Lou Lou mimed zipping her lips, then bounded over to the swing set, little legs kicking as soon as she jumped onto the rubber seat.
I lowered to the wooden buddy bench, and Thomas slowly did the same, keeping a large amount of distance between us. I was on one end, he on the other.
“Do I smell?” I went to check myself, then thought better of it, knowing I didn’t. “I might work with kids all day, but I don’t think I do.”
Thomas slid closer in answer, but there was still enough room to squeeze two bodies between us. I smiled down at the ground.
“Lou says you’ll feel better soon.” He kept his gaze on her. “I’m guessing trouble with the … fiancé?”
“You guessed right. I’ve actually been wanting to ask you …” I licked my lips, his words returning. The same words that sent my doubts free-falling in search of the truth. “How did you know?”
Thomas placed his hat on his head. “How did I know what?”
“You know, that he’d cheated on me.”
His hands clasped together in his lap. “I didn’t know that.”
Perplexed, I ran a hand through my hair. What had he been talking about then?
Lou Lou squealed in delight as she whipped through the air, her curls billowing behind her.
“How does it feel?”
His soft words were slow to penetrate, and when they did, I swung my eyes to his profile. “Being hurt, you mean?”
Thomas sat pin straight, leather wrapped feet planted evenly on the bark covered ground in front of him. “Yes. He didn’t hurt you in the physical sense.” He didn’t wait for my answer. “He hurt your heart.”
Such candid yet interesting words. “He did.”
“So he was having an affair?” There was no hesitation behind his words, no concern for overstepping. It was refreshing.
“Not exactly. But he slept with another woman. We’d apparently just gotten together when it happened.”
For the first time ever, I heard Thomas Verrone curse, then mutter in a dry tone, “Apparently.”
Lou Lou frowned as if hearing him from her new perch on top of the slide. He waved, forcing a smile that looked as if it’d crack his perfect cheekbones, and she returned it then hurtled herself down the slide.
“You call her Lou?”
“Yes,” he said. “Saying Lou Lou too much makes me feel like I own a Chihuahua instead of a child.”
I laughed at the usage of own. “You’re kidding, right?”
His lips twisted, then a shoulder rose. “Of course. So how does it feel?”
“You really want to know?”
“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
“You’ve never had your heart broken?” I studied him closer, admiring the way the afternoon light snuck beneath the short brim of his fedora and bounced off the sharp angles of his face. Untouchable. Even to the elements. “Ever?”
“Once,” he admitted. “But not in the same capacity as you.”
I wished I could ask him the same way he’d asked me, without hesitation, who or what had broken his heart. Maybe I could, but for now, I settled for trying to describe my own pain.
“It’s like something is sitting on your chest. Pressing. There’s this pressure that affects everything you do. How you eat, how you sleep, how you breathe, how you talk … everything.”
I looked at Thomas, who’d removed his eyes from Lou Lou and was now staring intently at me. Having this man’s full attention … there was nothing quite like it. In an instant, his stare alone chased away every feeling I’d just described. “Go on.”
I shook my head, coming out of my stupor.
“Why’d you stop?”
Inquisitive man.
Feeling thrown, I decided to see how he felt when the truth was volleyed back at him without any forewarning or sugarcoating. “Because for a second, looking at you, it all disappeared.”
If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. He blinked, sweeping long black lashes over ice cold eyes. Eyes that seemed warmer than I initially thought. “Daddy! Miss Clayton! Come climb with me.”
Somehow, I knew Thomas would choose not to, and needing away from the warmth of his attention, I jogged over to the climbing frame, singing with Lou Lou as she counted her steps up and down the rope ladder.
Principal Crawley peeked over the roof of her car ten minutes later, and I collected Lou Lou from the swing, taking that as a cue to leave. “We’d better go,” I said. “We don’t want to get caught and possibly banned from using the playground.”
“No way,” Lou Lou said, taking my offered hand and swinging it as she met her father, who was standing with his hands deep in his pockets, fedora tilted low over his forehead as he watched us.
After locking up the playground, I helped Lou Lou into the back of their car, making sure she fastened her seat belt. Right before I closed the door, she said, “You smiled a lot more smiles. Are you better now?”
I reached inside the car to tweak her nose, and she giggled. “Almost.”
With the door shut, I turned and came face to face with Thomas. He seemed to have no concerns about personal space now and was standing hair rising close to me.
He removed his hat, yet his dark hair remained perfect. “Did you mean what you said?”
I could lie and make myself feel less embarrassed, or I could admit the truth and hope it didn’t make things awkward. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.” His eyes sparked. “And yes, for a moment, you made me forget.” My smile trembled. “So thank you.”
I stepped around him, unlocking my car and climbing inside.
Before I could start it, the door opened, and Thomas climbed inside too.
My eyes shot to his, my mouth about to ask why he was in my car, but I didn’t get the chance.
His hand reached forward, settling over the side of my face with his thumb brushing my cheek. Any words I had were now fried and forgotten. “Little Dove, I’m going to kiss you.”
And he did.
Before I could say anything or even draw breath, his lips melded to mine. Soft, pressing, and perfect.
My hand moved for his face, fingers burning as they connected with his warm skin. I reached farther, and they tingled with the urge to tug at his soft hair.
A clicking sound reached my ears, and my eyes opened, but then his tongue separated my lips, moving slowly inside to meet mine.
His movements were hesitant but full of purpose. His thumb still brushing my cheek and his minty taste corroding the shock of having another man’s lips touching mine.
Another snap had me pulling away and glancing out the windshield to see if something had hit it.
Nothing was there. Just the swaying of the trees and an empty school yard.
And when I looked over at Thomas, my skin flushed and my heart booming in my ears, he was already out of the car. “Until next time, Little Dove.”
Incapable of moving, I sat there, watching as his car left the lot with my fingers on my lips.
I wasn’t sure what I felt. Anger over the way he might’ve taken advantage of my honest words? Guilt for letting another man’s lips kiss mine? For even if I was technically single, I still hadn’t taken the damn ring off. Or was it excitement from the endorphins that crept through my bloodstream, humming steadily as I left the parking lot?
At home, I paused at the sight of the fist-sized hole in the stairwell, the one Miles left behind after his visit, and decided on guilt.