Tatum doesn’t want to let go of me, and I don’t blame her. My kisses have never been better. Without ever realizing it, I’d saved all the good ones for her. Those chicks before—and there were hardly enough for a man of my good looks and sterling personality—were mere stepping stones on my way to find my perfect breezy.

“Your sister is giving me a weird look,” Tatum says, sitting next to me on the couch while Cricket eyeballs her from the kitchen.

“She’s messing with you to mess with me. Don’t take it personally.”

“I might not be able to help it. I’m unaccustomed to weirdoes.”

Grinning at her easy smile, I explain, “You’re a resilient woman and perfectly capable of enduring whatever wacko crap we throw your fucking way.”

Just then, Bianca Bella pokes her head out from the kitchen and announces food will be ready in ten minutes.

“What are you making?” I ask, worried she’s gone with something bean-related.

“Greek pasta salad. Is that okay with you, master?”

“Yes, peasant. Carry on.”

“Tatum, come sit with me,” Cricket says in her creepy, overly nice voice as she joins us on the couch. “I want to see you better.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter, and Poet chuckles nearby.

Tatum, though, leaves my side and goes to plop down next to Cricket. “Hello, Cricket. How are you today?”

“I am well, stranger from Florida, is it?”

“Yes, I come from the place of palm trees, gators, and thong bans.”

“Wait, you can’t wear thongs in Florida?” Cricket asks, startled from her craziness by this news.

“Not in the state parks.”

“You’re from an uppity state.”

“My extensive thong collection agrees.”

Cricket smiles brightly, loving when people play with her. “Chipper is a fine catch,” she says, and I roll my eyes. “He is housebroken and behaves well in the car.”

“I wouldn’t care if he shit on the floor or jumped from the car on the highway. Chipper’s super sexy, he makes me laugh, and he’s a great kisser. My needs are very simple.”

Cricket takes Tatum’s hand and sighs dramatically. “It’s very important to me that Chipper finds a woman who’ll take care of him. You see, everyone else in the family enjoys a loving relationship, and he’s just sort of rotting neglected like the crumbs at the bottom of an empty chip bag.”

“Cap isn’t in a loving relationship,” I point out.

“What do you call what he has with Keanu?”

“A bromance. Also known as a friendship between males.”

“Whatever. It’s still more than you have.”

Throwing a pillow at her, I growl, “I have Tatum, beef fart.”

“Well, I have Poet, the mini-twins, and Bianca Bella, snaggletooth.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my teeth.”

“No, there’s not,” Tatum says, shaking her head. “I’ve licked them, and they’re spot-on perfect.”

“Thank you.”

Cricket pats Tatum’s hand. “You’re very obedient. I’m not sure that’s the right way to handle Chipper. You’re going to want to challenge him as much as possible. If he wants Italian, you say you want Chinese.”

“I don’t really like Chinese food. At least not from Panda Express.”

“You’re a mutant, is that it?” Cricket asks and then glances at me. “Is she kidding?”

“Doesn’t like orange chicken at all.”

“Blasphemy.”

“Ignore her,” Poet says from his chair where the mini-twins sit watching football. “She doesn’t like Big Macs. Talk about a weirdo.”

Cricket smiles and looks at Tatum who only has eyes for me. Before my sister can get out another word, Tatum asks, “Does Bianca Bella live here?”

“Yes. She used to have one of the bedrooms, but we needed them for the kids and Poet’s family who drive in from West Virginia. So we moved Bianca Bella into the backyard with the dogs.”

Tatum frowns at Cricket, assumes she’s fucking with her and returns her gaze to me. I smile at her ability to handle my sister.

“They built her a casita in the backyard,” I explain. “It’s a small house like a mother-in-law unit.”

Tatum smiles and looks at Cricket. “You’re very attached to her.”

“Yes. Bianca Bella’s a keeper despite what Poet says.”

The dirty biker rolls his eyes without ever turning to his wife. In his lap, the kids chew on carrot sticks and clap whenever the crowd does on TV.

“Tatum and I plan to have six kids,” I tell Cricket, upping the number a drunk Tatum and I agreed to.

“No,” my sister says immediately. “We need the same number.”

“No, we don’t. Besides, you got twins. I’m not having twins. You already won, so shut the fuck up.”

“I did win, didn’t I?” she says and takes Tatum’s hand again. “Six is too many. You’ll want to stick to three tops.”

“That’s up to my pain tolerance, isn’t it?”

“You’d think so, but no.”

“Are you seriously considering having another one?” I ask Cricket and steal away Tatum’s hand. “Even though, you haven’t lost the weight from the mini-twins.”

My sister’s dark eyes narrow something ugly for my benefit, but I only chuckle at my fat comment. Tatum leans back against me, and my laughter fades. She’s gone from lost little girl to having my brain—and by extension my dick—wrapped around her finger.

“I always wanted to be a mom,” Tatum says, grinning at Cricket. “Have you always wanted to be an aunt?”

My sister glances at me and then sighs. “I really don’t want six. Pregnancy is the worst.”

“Then don’t have six,” Tatum suggests before saying something completely insane. “You don’t have to copy Chipper with everything. Just be happy with what you have.”

Snorting, Poet throws his head back and laughs. The kids don’t know why he’s laughing, but they make the same move with their heads and fake laugh because he’s a superstar in their eyes.

Cricket grudgingly smiles. “You’ve done well, stranger from a strange thong-less land. I approve of this coupling. Feel free to spread for my baby brother.”

“Thank you. Would you like a video of the spreading?”

“No. Well, maybe.”

Shaking my head, I would never give my sister ammunition to mess with me. “Not happening.”

“We’ll see,” Tatum says and smiles back at me. “Did I do good?”

“You did wonder-fucking-fully.”

“Are you fucking sure?” she asks, flinching at the sound of the big scary “F” word coming from her mouth.

Leaning her farther back on the couch, I kiss her as deeply as I can without my tongue choking her. She moans against me, and Cricket gags before skedaddling right the fuck out of the room. I smile at my sister’s retreat, but Tatum is the one I’m most impressed by.