Titan

Diesel and I sat at the front of the plane, while Thorn and Autumn sat farther back in the comfortable leather armchairs that reclined all the way back into a full bed. Diesel’s brothers were on the plane too, as well as a few friends of mine, including Isa and Pilar, whom I hadn’t seen in forever.

We’d been in the air for a few hours, and Diesel busied himself on his laptop while I did the same.

I couldn’t believe I was getting married.

I’d dreamed about this day my entire life. I only wished my father were alive to give me away.

I knew he would be proud of me.

Actually, I knew he was proud of me.

Diesel could attribute my vision to a hallucination under medication, but I didn’t believe that. I never considered myself to be a particularly spiritual person, but that interaction was real.

Instead of being sad he wasn’t here to share this day with me, I felt at peace. I felt like he was here even though I couldn’t see him. He gave me his approval of Diesel since I couldn’t receive it in real life.

It meant a lot to me.

Thorn approached our seats, dressed casually in sweatpants and a t-shirt. It was a long flight, so it didn’t make sense for us to dress in our finest attire. “Titan, can we talk for a bit?”

Diesel didn’t take his gaze off his computer. “You won’t be able to call her that much longer.”

Thorn took the seat across from me. He glanced at Autumn farther back in the plane before he looked at me again. “Autumn is asleep right now.”

Now I knew who the subject of the conversation was. “What happened?”

Diesel kept reading on his laptop.

Thorn glanced at him before he turned back to me. “I guess you’ll just tell him what I said anyway. I had dinner with Autumn’s parents last night. Everything went fine. I liked them, and they seemed to like me.”

Diesel looked up from his computer. “That sounds great, so I wonder why the tone is so solemn.”

“She was helping her mom with the dishes in the kitchen,” Thorn said. “I walked down the hall to find the bathroom, and I overheard them talking…”

“What did they say?” I asked.

“They talked back and forth a bit. Her mom asked how Autumn felt about me…other things were said. But at the end…Autumn told her mom she was in love with me.” Thorn turned his gaze to the floor, his eyes fogged with memory.

“Aww…” Autumn was a master at hiding her emotions. She remained professional when we worked together, and whatever her opinion was, she could keep it from me if she wanted to. I knew she felt something significant for Thorn because of the way she looked at him. I hadn’t necessarily thought she was in love with him, but I certainly wasn’t surprised to hear she was. “You better not do something stupid like dump her at the wedding.”

“I’m not gonna dump her,” he said under his breath. “That’s the last thing on my mind.”

Now I suspected her feelings were mutual. “Then, what are you going to do?”

“There’s nothing for me to do. She doesn’t know I overheard her.” The loud sound of the plane drowned out our conversation. She was sitting too far away to hear anything we were saying.

“So you’re going to pretend you don’t know anything?” Diesel asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” Thorn answered.

“But you aren’t freaked out by it?” I asked incredulously. “Freaking out sounds like the first thing you would do.”

“Why would I freak out?” Thorn asked. “This is Autumn. It’s flattering. Now I see it every time she looks at me. It’s so obvious that I’m not sure how I didn’t notice before.”

“I know something else is obvious too…” Diesel turned back to his computer, like his sentence wasn’t heavy with implication.

Thorn’s eyes shifted to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Diesel ignored him.

Thorn turned back to me. “Titan?”

“I think Diesel is implying that her feelings are mutual,” I said. “And honestly, I agree.”

“What?” he asked with a laugh. “I’m not in love with her.”

Diesel smiled slightly. “Whatever you say, man.”

“I’m not,” Thorn repeated. “If I did, I would just say it.”

“Or you’re too afraid to say it,” I said. “And you shouldn’t be. If Autumn is the one, you should be grateful you found her. Not everyone is so lucky. Sometimes people don’t meet the right person until most of their life has passed…or they don’t meet the right person at all. If that’s how you feel, you shouldn’t be afraid to say it.”

“We’re jumping ahead here,” Thorn said. “It’s been six weeks at the most.”

“I knew I loved Diesel the first time he kissed me,” I said quietly. “You just know, Thorn. I know you know…so just let it be.”

He shook his head and looked out the window.

“I can prove it,” Diesel said. “When a chick would tell me she loved me, I’d dump her. And I wouldn’t just end things, I’d destroy them. The second I knew a woman had those kinds of feelings for me, I ended it as soon as possible so I wouldn’t hurt her more in the end. I wouldn’t keep seeing someone if I knew I would never reciprocate those feelings. The fact that you’re flattered by what she said tells us everything we need to know. So save yourself some time and stop lying to yourself. You love this woman…be a man and admit it.” As if Diesel hadn’t just put Thorn down, he turned back to his computer.

Thorn turned his gaze away, holding his silence from both of us.

“Is it really that terrible if you do?” I asked. “Falling in love is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was scared in the beginning, but now I have the greatest gift in the world. It’s not like you’re afraid of getting hurt. And obviously, you’re capable of love.”

“I guess…” Thorn clenched his jaw as he considered our words. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”

“Then don’t,” Diesel said. “Problem solved.”

“You’re oversimplifying the issue,” Thorn said.

“No, I’m not,” Diesel said. “From the moment I fell in love with Titan, I’ve never hurt her. It’s not hard. Be faithful and be honest. Those are the only two things you need to do. The rest is easy.”

Thorn watched him, his thoughts racing behind his eyes.

“I know you can be both of those things,” I said. “You’ve always been that way. The fact that you don’t want to hurt her suggests you never will. If that’s how you feel, then tell her. Don’t waste time by pretending she’s not the love of your life. We’re young and have so much time left on this earth…but it’s going to pass quickly. Enjoy her as much as you can.”

Thorn rubbed his palms together after considering everything we’d said. He stared at his hands, his chiseled face hard with deep thought. He took a deep breath then sighed quietly. “I shouldn’t be bothering you with this…since you’re getting married.”

“You aren’t bothering us.” I placed my hand on his. “We’re family.”

“Then what does that make us?” Diesel asked as he indicated Thorn. “Family-in-law?”

“No,” I said. “Just family.” I turned back to Thorn. “You’re overthinking all of this. If the time is right and you feel that sensation in your chest—” I pressed my hand over his heart “—just tell her. And smile when you listen to her say it back.”

---

The weather was perfect when we arrived. It was sunny and beautiful, the temperature warm but the humidity not unbearable. Our bags were taken to our rooms, but when I stepped inside, I realized Diesel’s suitcases weren’t there.

“I hope they didn’t lose your things.” We had the presidential suite at the resort, with a private pool and our section of private beach to enjoy the crystal-clear water. A living room led to a patio that was big enough for twenty people. The place was stocked with a full bar along with many other amenities.

“They didn’t.” Diesel took a look around with his hands in his pockets. “I’m staying in my own room tonight.”

That hadn’t been discussed. “You are?”

“I can’t go another night, baby.” He faced me, his hands withdrawn like he didn’t trust himself to touch me. His jaw was clenched, and irritation was in his eyes. “It’s just too hard…I’m going to snap.”

“I thought you wanted to sleep beside me every night for the rest of our lives…”

“I do. Very much.”

I was used to having this strong man beside me every single night. I was used to his body heat, his powerful protection. I used to only sleep alone, but now the idea of being without him made me feel like I was stranded on a desert island. My life had been completely shared with him…and we weren’t even married yet. My body ached for his, my nails wanted to dig into his flesh, and I was suffering as much as he was…but I still didn’t want him to leave. But I refused to tell him that. I could go one night. “Alright.”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not,” I whispered.

He moved his hands to my shoulders, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “One more night.”

“One more night.”

He kissed my forehead before he released me. “I’ll see you later.”

“Alright.”

He walked out and shut the door.

The silence surrounded me, and it had never felt as suffocating as it did now. I used to live for quiet moments like this, to crave the silence of solitude. The only thing I’d wanted from a man was good sex. Then I wanted him out of my place as quickly as possible. No man had shared my bed in a decade.

But now my life was completely wrapped around Diesel. He was an extension of who I was. They say having children was like having your heart exist outside your body…and that was how I felt about Diesel. My heart was in his hand, and when he walked away, he took it with him…along with my soul.

---

I sat in the chair and patiently waited for the woman to finish my hair and makeup. My hair was in loose spirals, and my makeup was light. I preferred to look natural instead of overdone with foundation and mascara, and I knew that’s how Diesel preferred me too.

I started to get nervous.

I wasn’t nervous about the man I was marrying. I was just nervous in general. I’d made pitches to the biggest companies in the world without my heart rate increasing at all. I’d landed billion-dollar deals without losing sleep the night before. I was marrying the man I loved with the people closest to me present. There was no reason to be nervous.

But I was overwhelmed.

I put on my dress next, and it fit perfectly. Original and customized, the dress was the only one like it in the entire world. Made with real diamonds, premium lace, and a light fabric that reduced the heaviness of the dress, it was perfect.

I knew Diesel would love it.

Thorn walked inside in his gray suit with a pink boutonniere pinned to his jacket. He stopped when he spotted me in front of the mirror. Then he released a low whistle. “Wow…you look…” He approached me by the mirror and looked me up and down. “Let’s just say it’s a shame it didn’t work out between us.”

I chuckled, feeling the stress leave my chest now that someone had made me laugh.

“You look beautiful. I know I’ve seen you in this dress before, but it looks different now.”

“Probably because I’m happy.”

“Yeah.” He gave me a deep look. “Yeah…that must be it.”

“How is he?”

He grinned. “You don’t want to know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s been pacing for the last hour and a half.”

“Why? Is he nervous?”

“No. He says he just wants to get started already. He’s anxious. Tired of waiting.”

I pictured Diesel walking around his hotel room, his hands in his pockets with his head bowed down. The image touched my heart, knowing he was anxious to see me walk down the aisle toward him. “Aww…”

“I just checked on everything outside. It’s set up and ready to go. Looks really nice.”

“Great.” I couldn’t care less how it looked. I only cared about the man waiting for me.

“So…” He walked to the bar and made two Old Fashioneds. “This is the last time it’ll be the two of us…Thorn and Titan.”

He handed me the glass.

“I know…it’s crazy.”

“I’m happy for you. You deserve to be with the best…and Diesel is definitely the best.”

“I’m very lucky.”

He took a long drink.

I did the same.

“Anything you need?”

“No. I’m ready to go…”

“Nervous?”

“Anxious.”

He spotted the flower crown sitting on the table, and he picked it up from the plastic case. “May I?”

“Yes.”

He placed it on my head then adjusted my hair. His fingertips touched me lightly as he fixed everything, making me look perfect. “I’ve never seen you look so beautiful.”

“Thank you, Thorn.”

“Honestly, I’m pretty sad I have to give you away. You’ve always been my girl…in a different kind of way.”

“I know. But we’ll always be family.”

“Yeah.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “We should probably get going. Anything else you need before we get started? A few more minutes to collect yourself?”

I didn’t need any more time. Diesel was pacing because he was too anxious to stand still. “No. I’m just as eager as he is.”

Thorn stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a note. “He wanted me to give this to you before we left.” He placed the paper in my hand.

I unfolded it and read the words.

---

Don’t walk down the aisle.

Run.

---

-Boss Man-

---

I smiled as the tears formed in my eyes. “Diesel…”

Thorn tipped his head to the floor, giving me some privacy.

I folded the letter and handed it back to him. “Could you hold on to this for me?”

“Of course.” He opened his wallet and placed it inside. Then he extended his arm. “Ready?”

I wrapped my hand around his arm. “Yes.”