CHAPTER 13

 

 

“Jack! Jack!” At Raquel’s urgent cries both Maddy and Jack hurled around and started running towards the house. The only sound was the pebbles crunching beneath their feet and their breaths racing for air. As they reached the house Raquel beckoned them and ran towards the living room.

Jack had felt scared a few times in his life, but before he turned the corner in the living room he felt that gnawing biting fear course through his body at what he would find. Mitchell was sprawled on the living room floor, pushing himself up with one arm.

“Grandpa?” Jack hurried over to him to help. Maddy short on his heels took his other side. “Mitchell what happened? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just got up a little too fast.” He said between wheezing breaths.

“Grandpa, you’re not fine if you’re falling over from standing up.” Turning to Raquel, Jack all but barked. “Call the doctor.”

“Jackson, really. That won’t be necessary.” Mitchell pleaded as they eased him into his chair.

“Let’s just give him a chance to catch his breath, Jack.” Maddy asked as she crouched in front of Mitchell.

“Bullshit! He’s not fine. He needs to get the damn operation, but he’s too fucking stubborn.”

“That operation is none of your goddamn business, Jackson. And you’re not bothering my doctor with a simple spill I took from standing up too fast.”

Jack glared at both Maddy and Mitchell who seemed to be teaming up against him briefly before he turned and stalked up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Operation?” Maddy asked Mitchell with cocked brows.

“Oh, don’t you start as well.”

“I’m not starting anything, I’m simply asking about the operation.”

“They say they can fix my heart if I go, but there is only a fifty-fifty chance of waking up afterwards.”

Maddy let out a deep sigh. “Wow, that is a big risk I can understand why you would be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid. I just don’t feel like being prepared like cold meat and then being shoved off to the butcher.”

Maddy laughed at his description. “Come on you old piece of meat, let me help you to your bedroom.”

Mitchell laughed at Maddy’s quick wit and for the umpteenth time that week knew that Jackson had struck gold with her.

 

After settling Mitchell in for the night and teasing him about being scared of the operation, Maddy went in search of Jack. She knew Mitchell was a proud man and if anything made him reconsider the operation it would be the idea that everyone thought he was too scared to go. She slowly opened their bedroom door and felt the chill from the terrace instantly. The fireplace crackled in vein trying to heat the room. The doors were flung open with Jack standing outside looking at the nearly invisible water. The lights were still out and the only sound in the room was the waves crashing against the breakwater. Without a word she remembered what he had said on the beach before Raquel had called them. Maddy didn’t want to make any declarations that could expose her to more heartache, but she also couldn’t shut off her feelings for Jack. He was scared when he saw Mitchell on the floor, the only thing he needed tonight was to be soothed. She slipped out of her shoes and softy walked to him. Without a word she put her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back.

“Mitchell’s fine, I put him to bed and ragged him about being a ‘fraidy cat for not going for the operation.”

Jack didn’t say a word, but Maddy felt his breathing change as he turned around. As his steel gaze met hers Maddy could see the need in his eyes. Without waiting for him to move Maddy leaned in and gently pressed her lips against his. The sweet soft soothing kiss soon changed. As Jack slid his tongue into her mouth Maddy could taste his hunger for her. Wanting to tell him she felt the same, she did the only thing she knew how. She offered herself to him willingly. Throughout the night Maddy allowed Jack to forget about his ailing grandfather and lose himself in her. She reveled in the knowing that she made him feel. Even though she wasn’t sure what he had meant on the beach, Maddy expressed her feelings every time he turned to her.

 

 

Winter had arrived like a train in the night in New York. Sidewalks were draped with a blinding white blanket of snow in the early morning before they were muddied by parents rushing to school and people hurrying to work. The air was crisp and brought with it a wave of excitement, Christmas was only a few weeks away. Shop windows boasted holly and mistletoe. Tinsel was draped on anything willing to stand still for long enough. Then there were the lights, bringing magic and mystery to Central Park. The bare, spooky fingers of the threes would have seemed eerie but were welcoming with the soft twinkle of fairy lights draped over the branches and spiraled up their trunks. Thick coats were unpacked from closets forgotten during summer. Toddlers were outfitted with earmuffs and mud boots. Santa Clauses stood on nearly every corner ringing a bell or proclaiming season greetings. And if you walked slow enough to overhear a conversation you would hear about holiday plans, Christmas parties and the all important gift lists.

Jack didn’t need to worry about the last part. He had already decided on the perfect Christmas gift for Maddy. Although had almost permanently furrowed his brow. Ever since they had returned from Greenwich Maddy had poured every ounce of her time into Turner Events. When she came home she would be quiet and withdrawn claiming she was merely quiet or tired. She slept in his bed every night, huddled on her edge of the bed and the one time they had made love she was distant. Something was very wrong, Jack knew enough about women to realize that. The problem was he had no idea what was wrong. Was she mad because he tried to tell her about his feelings in Greenwich? Was she tired of him, of their marriage? Jack had never fallen in love before, and now that he had fallen in head first he didn’t know how to get out or how to handle it. Normally adept at confrontation and negotiation, Jack was lost. He had come to realize something during their stay in Connecticut that now seemed months ago although it had barely been three weeks since their return. He had realized that without Maddy, his world wouldn’t make sense anymore. Besides the habit of hearing her sing in the shower, having her cook and chat with a glass of wine and waiting for her to come home after an event, Jack would miss Maddy. He would miss her quick wit, her smart mouth, her view on all things important, even her views on frivolous matters. He had fallen in love with his wife. What should’ve been a simple arrangement to keep Dalton’s hands off Mitchell’s will had become a life altering experience for Jack. How was he supposed to let her go after their supposed year was up? How was he supposed to touch another woman if she wasn’t his Maddy? The questions and doubts circled through Jack’s mind in a vicious replay all day long. His previous relationships had never ventured beyond a few rolls in the sack and maybe a compulsory dinner date or two. He had never cheated because he had never been in a relationship that he felt committed to, one that lasted more than two weeks. The waters he found himself in were foreign. He was unsure how to navigate to safe shores. Did he avoid her and give her the cold shoulder and hope she would come running. Or should he pursue her? That seemed like the logical option. He had tried twice to talk with Maddy and every time when she sensed he wanted to talk about something serious she suddenly had somewhere to be or somewhere to go. Jack knew she was avoiding him, the problem being he didn’t want to avoid her. He wanted Maddy as his wife, his real wife. He would just have to make her realize how much she meant to him. The gift he had gotten her for Christmas would hopefully be the first step in the right direction.

 

“Okay spill! I haven’t had any good gossip for weeks. How’s married life treating you?” Jules asked as the waiter delivered their first glass of wine in the upscale cocktail bar she and Maddy had arranged to meet.

“Good.” Maddy said distractedly. She had looked forward to seeing Jules for the first time in weeks and now her friend had to start with the most difficult subject on the table.

“Madison Turner-Landon, I’ve known you for the better part of a decade, so don’t try lying to me. The last time I saw you, your aura glowed with rainbows and fluttering hearts. What’s with the heavy heart?”

“Jules, it’s nothing really.” Maddy tried in vain.

Jules picked up her bag, took a large gulp of wine and stood up. “Well if we can’t be honest what’s the use in meeting for drinks? Let me know when you feel you can be honest with me again.”

Maddy pinched her nose but couldn’t stop the first tear from falling. “Don’t go, Jules. Please. I need to talk to you.”

“There, I knew that would work. Finally I get some emotion out of you.” Jules sat back down worried about her friend but glad her stunt had worked. “What’s going on?”

Maddy wiped her nose and took a sip of wine contemplating where she should start. “I’m in love with Jack.”

Jules took her hand over the table. “That’s a good thing. You’re married.”

“No it isn’t. It’s not a real marriage. I needed the offices and Jack wanted me to be his lover. I refused to be my landlord’s lover and he refused to let me go. So he made me an offer I couldn’t resist.”

“Let me guess, the office in exchange for a wedding.” Jules shook her head. “I knew something fishy was going on. But you looked so happy I didn’t want to probe.”

“Something like that.” Maddy said not wanting to go into the details of her arranged marriage. “Wait! You knew?”

“Not knew-knew, just had a hunch.”

“Well, it’s come back to bite me in the ass.” Maddy answered resigned.

“You’ve fallen in love with your pretend husband?”

“Yes. And it’s horrible.”

“Why? You’ve had chemistry from the first night you met?”

Maddy tried to compose herself before speaking again when Jules sighed. “Oh Maddy, you thought you could be his fake wife and leave after a year or two without getting involved. Now you’re in love with him and you don’t know if he feels the same way?”

“Exactly. When we went to visit his grandfather in Greenwich that last night on the beach he tried to tell me something. He looked like he was in pain while he said I made him feel….Then we were interrupted. I just know what he was going to say.”

“What was he going to say, little miss mind reader?” Jules cocked a brow.

“That I made him feel trapped. That it was over. That he wanted a divorce.”

“Oh honey…” Jules squeezed Maddy’s hand over the table.

“That’s not the worst part. He’s been trying to talk to me ever since we returned to Manhattan. But I can’t Jules, I can’t stand and listen how he wants to push me aside when he’s become my whole world.”

They were both quiet for a while. Jules thinking hard, trying to find a golden highway for her friend’s problem. Maddy crying into her sleeve softly.

Jules beckoned a waiter for more wine before turning to Maddy. “What if he didn’t want to tell you it’s over? What if he actually feels something for you?”

Maddy sucked in a sharp breath. “You don’t think…”

“Of course it’s possible. You’re a wonderful smart successful woman Maddy, why wouldn’t he fall in love with you?”

“He doesn’t do relationships, Jules. He was only in it for the sex.”

“Is the sex good?” A naughty grin spread across Jules’s face.”

Maddy smiled back weakly. “It’s better than good; it’s a mind blowing, earth shattering, multiple orgasm fantasy land.”

Both women laughed before Jules earnestly pleaded. “You need to tell him how you feel Maddy. If he doesn’t feel the same you need to get out, shit I’ll borrow whatever you need to keep the offices. If he does feel the same you might just be the luckiest woman in Manhattan.”

“I don’t know…”

“That’s the problem you don’t know. If you had cancer, would you like to know to be able to treat it or would you like suffer in silence for years only to know you could’ve had it cured?”

“Jules, my marriage is nothing like cancer.”

“Maddy, at this stage its eating you alive: stealing the light from your eyes, so actually it’s pretty much a diagnosis.”

“So you’re saying my marriage is cancer and I’m the only doctor who can fix it?”

“Something like that.” Jules gently squeezed Maddy’s hand. “Come on let’s finish our wine then you go home and face the cancer or cure it.”

When Maddy walked into the apartment a little over an hour later she noticed all the lights were out and the apartment was quiet. She slipped out of her shoes and headed towards their bedroom. Jack was curled up on her side of the bed hugging her pillow, fast asleep. She felt the anticipation of rejection push up her throat. He must feel something at least? Unable to face rejection tonight, wanting to hang onto the possibility that he loved her for another night Maddy made her way down the hall to the bedroom she had insisted on. For the first time since she had moved into Jack’s apartment she slept in her own room, alone. Crying for the love of a man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, it took all her will power not to wake him and beg him to love her back.